For any single coaching and mentoring goal, there is a cycle of six basic stages, each of which hinges on effective questioning, active listening
, clear feedback, and well-organized sessions. First, the mentor coach and the client get to know one another to establish clarity and rapport, engage, and agree what the goal isFootnote 5; second, they discuss the current reality, to which the mentor coach will adapt the coaching and mentoring styleFootnote 6; third, they explore available options; fourth, they identify and commit to a course of action (at a pace the client is comfortable with) in line with shared expectations (that might involve training); fifth, the client implements the agreed actions with the support of and clear (meaning constructive and positive) feedback from the coach; sixth, the mentor coach and the client consider what has been learned and how they might build on that knowledge, possibly by initiating a new coaching and mentoring cycle. All the while, the mentor coach should, with empathy
and sensitivity, encourage the client to come to his or her own conclusions. Mentor coaches must have a high degree of emotional intelligence, viz., self-awareness, self-regulation, self-motivation, social awareness, and social skills.Footnote 7 This is essential to achieving a good relationship that combines autonomy and shared responsibility toward accomplishment of the performance goal
. Last but not least, everything that is said must remain confidential
I don’t know any other way to lead but by example.