Four pervasive themes emerged from the young men’s narratives on the influences of cultural norms on their sexual behaviours. These comprised (1) social background and upbringing, (2) cultural norms and sexual history, (3) gender norms and sexual scripting, and (4) university culture and sexual risk behaviour.
Social background and upbringing
The family, peer groups and community setting are important social agents in the upbringing of an individual. Across the focus groups, participants narrated that their environment which constituted their family, peers and community played an important role in the construction of their sexual behaviours. Our data indicated that the sexual norms that prevailed in the families, communities and peer groups of the young men shaped their sexual behaviours and attitudes. One participant stated that:
“In the community, I was raised in, the majority of the men had multiple sexual partners…so having as many partners as possible was normalised, some men were in polygamous relationships … but I also had to deal with my family as well. The family values that they instilled in about sexual behaviour were different from the ones I learned from the community”. (FGD 3_3rd year student).
In support of the above statement, another participant recounted:
“Outside there [in] the community, people would praise you. But at home bringing different girls would never be tolerated” (FDG 2_2nd year students). This statement shows the different and competing norms that are prevalent in the community setting as opposed to those that are within the family. One other participant in the same group noted:
“In my family, multiple sexual partners were frowned upon… it [was] just immoral and not the manly thing to do because of the way they look[ed] at it … you know they are very traditional in terms of family values and so on. So you have to have one partner [which] you are committed to so that there could have a real potential so that you could start a family with that person, carry the family name forward…every man in the family got married at a very young age, so you knew that you could not get involved with many women.” (FDG 2_2nd year student).
This highlights the important role played by the family in the construction of sexual behaviour as it provides role models and set standards of appropriate sexual conduct of young men. Apart from the family, there was general agreement among the participants that peers played a significant influence on their sexual behaviours. One participant stated: “A guy needs to have many girlfriends and makes sure he sleeps with them” (FGD 2_ 2nd year student).
This was supported by one participant in a focus group with Postgraduate students who narrated:
“All of my friends were already drumming [having sex] honestly, so I asked them how to do it [sex]. It was trial and error for me and my friends in the beginning but after some time, we were teaching others and moving from one girl to next” (FGD 4_Postgraduate student).
This is because for many young men sexual experience is perceived as a social and cultural rite of passage through which every young man has to pass.
Interestingly, a few participants who came from religious backgrounds, considered their religious beliefs very influential. The participants were of the view that their religious upbringing provided them with a set of moral standards that did not sanction premarital sex as it was considered a sin. The following account captures one of the participant’s views (FGD 3_3rd year student):
“I’m from a strong Christian family so what [I] was taught [was that] sex before marriage is a sin. So that’s why even now as a young man I’m abstaining from it until I get married.”
As the participant recounted this, majority of the participants were shocked and some mocked him. This occurred with all the participants who admitted to being virgins, across all the focus group discussions. Virginity was perceived as shameful and as something that each young man needed to get rid of, to avoid humiliation. Hence another participant in the same group of second-year students recounted:
“Like some of my brothers in this room I come from a very strong Christian family my grandfather is a pastor, my father is also a pastor as well, so I did not follow some of the teachings. Even though I went to a Christian school where we used to stand in a line as young men and we would be proud to be virgins. When I left school I carr[ied] those sexual norms to boarding school and I was a laughing stock. You could not be 16 years old and a virgin so it was not a comfortable thing. As proud as I was then, I made sure that I lost my virginity” (FGD 3_3rd year student).
The narrative highlights that even with a strong religious background, for many young men the pressure to live up to dominant prescribed sexual norms was overpowering. As such, personal beliefs, behaviours and attitudes were not consistent, as they were constantly being influenced by other norms that existed in their communities and among their peers.
Cultural norms and sexual history
The young men in the study discussed in detail their own unique sexual life experiences, and this discussion enabled some young men to reflect on their subjective sexual histories. For some of the participants, their first sexual experience seemed to have shaped their understanding and the meaning that they attached to their sexual practices to date. Some young men reported that their first experience of sex was often accompanied by pressure that was exerted on them by external forces such as peers and by prevailing social norms in their communities. One participant noted.
“I grew up in a community where having sex and a girlfriend as a young man was expected…There is a stigma attached to being a virgin. As a man where I come from, all of my friends had already had sex, I knew I had to have sex as well”. (FGD 4_Postgraduate students).
This suggested that for some of the participants their first sexual experience was motivated by curiosity and modelling of the male figures in their lives. This placed in question their readiness and understanding of what they were doing.
This was further emphasised when a majority of the young men reported their sexual debut by the age of 15, for some even at the age of 11, with no condom use reported at their first sexual encounter. The following extract depicts a participant’s experience who recounted his first sexual encounter (FGD 4_Postgraduate students):
“ I started when I got this girl who already had sex, so I didn’t have a problem it was easy for me because she already had experience with other guys, we did it [had sex] in the bush because we could not do it at home. I was very quick, I remember I did not even use protection at that time. I did not even know about condoms and stuff. Even though I had not had sex before, I did watch porn and I also learned from other guys and older brothers on what to do, like the withdrawal method…but I could not do it, it was too nice”.
Given the prevalence of HIV among the age group of 15–24 in South Africa, the above narration highlights troubling issues. Firstly, the lack of knowledge regarding safer sexual practices. Secondly, the sexual risks involved in such behaviours, which for this participant like many other participants, were during their first sexual experience. Thirdly, getting sexually intimate without the use of protection with a woman who previously had other sexual partners, opened up risks for onset exposure to sexually transmitted infections and lastly, the mentioning of the withdrawal method suggested that there was more attention on preventing pregnancy, rather than HIV and other sexually transmitted infections.
The beliefs, knowledge and values that are attached to sexual behaviour by an individual are based on the dominant sexual scripts that are prevalent in a particular cultural context. This was evident among young men from traditionally circumcising communities, as they stated that they were taught about responsibility which included safer sexual practices during initiation. However, some misconceptions were prevalent in such contexts. Participants reported that many people in their communities believed that a man who was circumcised could not be infected with HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. Moreover, such normalised beliefs around circumcision also promoted non-condom use for them and many other people in their communities. This is depicted in the following:
“Back at home we do have conversations about safe sex practices, they say we should get circumcised so that we can have sex without the use of a condom. The general belief from a lot of people back at home is that a man who is circumcised has small chances of getting infected with HIV “. (FGD 1_1st year student).
This revealed the extent to which the social context shapes the perceptions and attitudes of young men in how they perceive sexual risk. With the use of condoms, the narrative above highlights how prevailing norms, understanding and knowledge regarding condom use, influenced how, when and whether these young men used condoms. Moreover, the narratives also indicated the lack of knowledge about circumcision and the continued use of protection post circumcision in such settings. In many African families, discussion about any sexually related topics is forbidden. However, for some of the participants when they recounted their sexual history they indicated that, when they started engaging in sexual activities, their fathers played an important role in educating them about the use of condoms.
“I remember when I started having sex, I was around the age of 15 or 16. My father told me that he suspects that I might be having sex or that I will be having it at some point, so he told me to be safe and always use a condom every time I had sex with a woman”. (FGD 4_Postgraduate student). This was considered surprising to hear by some of the young men in the group, who openly stated that talking about sex with their parents was seen as culturally inappropriate. The common belief in their communities according to the young men was that sex talk was reserved for adults only.
Gender norms and sexual scripting
In the African culture, the understanding of gender tends to be viewed according to specific norms and expectations, into which young men and young women are socialised at a very early age. The expectations are structured and constructed by culture and society, and they shape the sexual behaviours of both men and women. They further influence how young men and young women interact and navigate in sexual relationships. Our data illustrate the extent to which the constructions of gender norms have impacted on the sexual behaviours of the young men in the study. The recurring description of the gender norms that some young men in the study were taught at a young age was that a man is a “leader” or “head”. Such socialisation cemented notion and understanding that made many of the young men to believe that they always had to control women and their sexual interactions with women. A young man in his first year of study narrated:
“The way society sees a man is through his actions and in terms of doing all the things that are expected of a man to do in terms of societal norms”. (FGD 1_1st year student).
In their narrations in the group discussions, it became clear that for some of these young men, their understanding of gender roles was linked to the performance of observable behaviours that were dominant in their cultural context. This, in turn, informed their behaviour and the need to adhere to socially constructed expectations by all means. On the other hand, there appeared to be individuals who felt the need not to conform to the expected gender roles and adopt alternative versions of “being a man”. For some of these young men, their understanding of gender norms was distinctly different. They did not want to prescribe to gendered norms and cultural ideals, where emotions are perceived as weakness, and violence and aggression were viewed as a strength. They aspired to express their manliness in alternative ways. This was particularly evident among participants who were part of the Honours’ and Masters’ focus group discussion.
“There are things that were taught when I was growing up about what it means to be a man, some of these things did not make sense to me. For example, having multiple sexual partners was portrayed as the norm. I have adopted a different way of being a man, which is totally different from the normalised norm”. (FGD 4_Postgraduate student).
However, some of the young men did not reject the dominant gender norms. For example, this was evident when one participant in a group discussion stated that “A girl who has many sexual partners is regarded as a ‘bitch’. He further explained: “They [referring to people in his community] do not see her in a good way…In most cases, the guys will just go to her and sleep [have sex] with her and without commitment. Our elders have warned and advised us against such girls as they are considered not ‘wife material’ (FGD 1_1st year students).
The reason behind such notions might be because culturally, women are expected to remain virgins until marriage, whilst expecting men to be knowledgeable about sex. There also appeared to be a dichotomy in the teaching received by young people.
“When girls are taught that they should behave and not have sex until marriage, whilst we are encouraged to have sex…it becomes tricky for me, who must we have sex with? They have to teach us good behaviour as”. (FGD 4_Postgraduate student).
In many cultural settings in Africa, more emphasis regarding appropriate behaviour has always targeted women, while giving little focus on appropriate behaviours among young men. Reflecting on this was one of the participants in (FGD 2_2nd year students) who recounted:
“A man with many sexual partners is a real man! It means his penis is working for real, he is a real bull. I cannot say the same thing for a woman, a woman who does the same is a slut [the majority of participants were in agreement with this]. A woman needs to control herself, like (she) has to control her sexual feelings.”
The above statement points to the symbolic meaning that is attached to sexual prowess and sexual virility among these young men. This is quite evident in many cultural settings where men who cannot function sexually are often emasculated [40, 41]. Hence, hypersexual behaviours are used as a demonstration of manhood and to attain respect and power from other men.
University culture and sexual risk behaviour
Research has shown that entering university is one of the important steps in one’s life course and is associated with many changes in lifestyle such as experimenting with alcohol and drugs because of newfound independence [42]. This has critical implications for sexual behaviour especially for young people in the university space. Similarly, Our findings suggested that alcohol seems to influence young men’s sexual behaviour. There was a general agreement among the participants that they were unlikely to use a condom when they have been drinking. This is highlighted by the following statement:
“When you are intoxicated it makes it difficult to think, alcohol takes away rationality. When you put alcohol on the table, obviously you are not going to use a condom…You will be in a rush… no one thinks when they are in a rush”. (FGD 2_2nd year student).
The university became a space for these young men to sexually explore without getting into committed relationships. The participants spoke about unplanned sexual encounters as widely accepted in the university setting, thus showing the normalization of risky sexual behaviours. Participants stated that such unplanned sexual encounters were more common when they were intoxicated. In the same vein, across all the focus group discussions, a majority of the participants reported on unsafe sexual practices such as non-condom use and the use of lubrication during unprotected sex to prevent friction and tear of the vaginal area, because of the belief that they would not get infected with HIV since the vaginal area would be well lubricated. These findings are troubling especially because such practices put these young men at risk of contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. Third-year students recounted the following:
“It is a norm here in university to randomly sleep around with no strings attached, I have friends that would tell you that they have slept with a random girl on campus, and they would even point you to some of the girls when we are in lecture rooms. It has become normal….It is no longer scary”. (FGD 3_3rd year student).
Particularly troubling about the above statement is that the university space has been represented as an enabling environment for risk-taking, where momentary pleasure outweighs the consequences. More disturbing was that the risk-taking reported commonly involved the consumption of alcohol, thus perpetuating risky sexual behaviours such as unprotected sex and inconsistent condom use among young people. Our data also showed the presence of transactional sex among this group of young men where alcohol was exchanged for sexual favours from women. A postgraduate student explained: “When we go to the club I make a girl happy by buying her booze [alcohol], I will be happy because she will make me happy by sleeping with me”. (FGD 4_Postgraduate student). In their narration, it was evident that this expectation from women was implicit, but it was a common expectation to which according to the participants, women adhered to.