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“Why Can’t Boys Be #LikeAGirl?”: Sticky Essentialism and Ambivalent (De)gendering in Fathers’ Online Accounts of Children’s Gender and Sexuality

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Abstract

In our media-centric age, stories and commentary about children’s gender socialization are exchanged online. Yet we know quite little about how fathers interpret the gender and sexual identities of their children and share those interpretations with others via social media. In this article, I present findings from a qualitative content analysis of blog posts about children’s gender and sexuality (n = 122) written by American and Canadian fathers (n = 36). I apply Kane’s (2012) “gender trap” typology to analyze how dad bloggers support and/or challenge heteronormative gendered identities, behaviors, relationships, and activities for children. Most of these fathers present anxious accounts of experimenting with gender-neutral parenting, imagining their children in future roles and relationships, permitting nonconformity in girls versus boys, and connecting childrearing to broader social inequalities. I develop the concepts of sticky essentialism—to demonstrate how essentialist logics permeate fathers’ explanations for gendered childhoods, and ambivalent (de)gendering—to explain fathers’ mixed feelings toward heteronormative gender socialization and accountability. To conclude, I discuss risks and benefits of fathers blogging publicly about children’s gender and sexuality.

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Acknowledgements

The author would like to thank Melissa A. Milkie for her guidance throughout this project and Jillian Sunderland for her assistance in conducting the analysis.

Funding

The research leading to these results received funding from a Joseph-Armand Bombardier Canada Graduate Scholarship (no. 767–2016-2296) from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada.

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Correspondence to Casey Scheibling.

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This study was approved by the McMaster University Research Ethics Board prior to the data collection phase (no. 2018–0504).

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Conflicts of interest

The research leading to these results received funding from a Joseph-Armand Bombardier Canada Graduate Scholarship (no. 767–2016-2296) from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada. The author has no other conflicts of interest to declare that are relevant to the content of this article.

Research involving Human Participants and/or Animals

This research uses textual media data, not direct data from humans or animals, and was approved by the McMaster University Research Ethics Board prior to the data collection phase (no. 2018–0504).

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Scheibling, C. “Why Can’t Boys Be #LikeAGirl?”: Sticky Essentialism and Ambivalent (De)gendering in Fathers’ Online Accounts of Children’s Gender and Sexuality. Sex Roles 86, 366–378 (2022). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-022-01274-5

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