Abstract
Romance and control are often conflated by the media, and individuals may believe that certain controlling or jealous behaviors by men toward women are romantic and can be a sign of love and commitment in heterosexual relationships. The current study explored three types of romantic beliefs among women: endorsement of the ideology of romanticism, highly valuing romantic relationships, and the belief that jealousy is good. The goal was to determine whether these beliefs would be related to finding controlling behaviors romantic as well as to reported experiences of both physical and psychological intimate partner violence (IPV). We surveyed 275 heterosexual-identified women, aged 18 to 50, and measured their endorsement of romantic beliefs, the extent to which they romanticized controlling behavior, and experiences of physical and psychological abuse within their current or most recent romantic relationship. Romantic beliefs were related to romanticizing controlling behaviors, which, in turn, was related to experiences of IPV. There was also a significant indirect relationship between romantic beliefs and experiences of IPV. The data indicate that seemingly positive romantic ideologies can have insidious negative effects. Findings may be useful for clinicians and those who advocate for prevention of IPV as they illustrate a need to refocus traditional ideas of healthy relationships at the societal level.
Similar content being viewed by others
References
Abelson, R. P. (1981). Psychological status of the script concept. American Psychology, 36, 715–729. doi:10.1037/0003-066X.36.7.715.
Anderson, M. A., Gillig, P. M., Sitaker, M., McCloskey, K., Malloy, K., & Grigsby, N. (2003). “Why doesn’t she just leave?”: A descriptive study of victim reported impediments to her safety. Journal of Family Violence, 18, 151–155. doi:10.1023/A:1023564404773.
Arnocky, S., Sunderani, S., Gomes, W., & Vaillancourt, T. (2015). Anticipated partner infidelity and men’s intimate partner violence: The mediating role of anxiety. Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences, 9, 186–196. doi:10.1037/ebs0000021.
Babcock, J. C., Costa, D. M., Green, C. E., & Eckhardt, C. I. (2004). What situations induce intimate partner violence? A reliability and validity study of the Proximal Antecedents to Violent Episodes (PAVE) Scale. Journal of Family Psychology, 18, 433–442. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.18.3.433.
Backus, F. R., & Mahalik, J. R. (2011). The masculinity of Mr. Right: Feminist identity and heterosexual women’s ideal romantic partners. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 35, 318–326. doi:10.1177/0361684310392357.
Baker, C. K. (2016). What role do peers play in adolescent dating? Insights from adolescents with a history of dating violence. Violence Against Women . doi:10.1177/1077801216638769. Advance online publication
Barelds, D. P. H., & Barelds-Dijkstra, P. (2007). Love at first sight or friends first? Ties among partner personality trait similarity, relationship onset, relationship quality, and love. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 24, 479–496. doi:10.1177/0265407507079235.
Ben-Ze’ev, A. (2010). Jealousy and romantic love. In S. L. Hart & M. Legerstee (Eds.), Handbook of jealousy: Theory, research, and multidisciplinary approaches (pp. 40–54). Chichester: Wiley-Blackwell. doi:10.1002/9781444323542.ch3.
Black, M. C., Basile, K. C., Breiding, M. J., Smith, S. G., Walters, M. L., Merrick, M. T., et al. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 summary report. Atlanta: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Bonomi, A. E., Altenburger, L. E., & Walton, N. L. (2013). “Double crap!” Abuse and harmed identity in Fifty Shades of Grey. Journal of Women's Health, 22, 733–744. doi:10.1089/jwh.2013.4344.
Buhrmester, M., Kwang, T., & Gosling, S. D. (2011). Amazon's Mechanical Turk: A new source of inexpensive, yet high-quality, data? Perspectives on Psychological Science, 6, 3–5.
Buss, D. M. (1988). From vigilance to violence: Tactics of mate retention in American undergraduates. Ethology and Sociobiology, 9, 291–317. doi:10.1016/0162-3095(88)90010-6.
Buss, D. M. (2000). The dangerous passion: Why jealousy is as necessary as love and sex. New York: The Free Press.
Buss, D. M., Shackelford, T. K., & McKibbin, W. F. (2008). The Mate Retention Inventory-Short Form (MRI-SF). Personality and Individual Differences, 44, 322–334. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2007.08.013.
Buunk, B. P. (1991). Jealousy in close relationships: An exchange theoretical perspective. In P. Salovey (Ed.), Psychological perspectives on jealousy and envy (pp. 148–177). New York: Guilford Publications.
Caldwell, J. E., Swan, S. C., Allen, C. T., Sullivan, T. P., & Snow, D. L. (2009). Why I hit him: Women’s reasons for intimate partner violence. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 18, 672–697. doi:10.1080/10926770903231783.
Casler, K., Bickel, L., & Hackett, E. (2013). Separate but equal? A comparison of participants and data gathered via Amazon’s MTurk, social media, and face-to-face behavioral testing. Computers in Human Behavior, 29, 2156–2160. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2013.05.009.
Chung, D. (2005). Violence, control, romance and gender equality: Young women and heterosexual relationships. Women’s Studies International Forum, 28, 445–455. doi:10.1016/j.wsif.2005.09.005.
Collins, V. E., & Carmody, D. C. (2011). Deadly love: Images of dating violence in the “Twilight Saga.” Journal of Women and Social Work, 26, 382–394. doi:10.1177/0886109911428425.
Daly, M., Wilson, M., & Weghorst, S. J. (1982). Male sexual jealousy. Ethology and Sociobiology, 3, 11–27. doi:10.1016/0162-3095(82)90027-9.
Deller, R. A., & Smith, C. (2013). Reading the BDSM romance: Reader responses to Fifty Shades. Sexualities, 16, 932–950. doi:10.1177/1363460713508882.
Donovan, C., & Hester, M. (2010). ‘I hate the word “victim’”: An exploration of recognition of domestic violence in same sex relationships. Social Policy and Society, 9, 279–289. doi:10.1017/S1474746409990406.
Erchull, M. J., Liss, M., Axelson, S. J., Staebell, S. E., & Askari, S. F. (2010). Well... she wants it more: Perceptions of social norms about desires for marriage and children and anticipated chore participation. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 34, 253–260. doi:10.1111/j.1471-6402.2010.01566.x.
Felmlee, D. H. (2001). From appealing to appalling: Disenchantment with a romantic partner. Sociological Perspectives, 44, 263–280. doi:10.1525/sop.2001.44.3.263.
Foran, H. M., & O’Leary, K. D. (2008). Problem drinking, jealousy and anger control: Variables predicting physical aggression against a partner. Journal of Family Violence, 23, 141–148. doi:10.1007/s10896-007-9136-5.
Fraser, H. (2005). Women, love, and intimacy “gone wrong”: Fire, wind, and ice. Affilia, 20, 10–20. doi:10.1177/0886109904272094.
Frieze, I. H., & McHugh, M. C. (1992). Power and influence strategies in violent and nonviolent marriages. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 16, 449–465. doi:10.1111/j.1471-6402.1992.tb00268.x.
Gagnon, J. (1977). Human sexualities. Glenview, IL: Scott, Foresman.
García-Moreno, C., Jansen, H. A. F. M., Ellsberg, M., Heise, L., & Watts, C. (2005). WHO multi-country study on women’s health and domestic violence against women: Initial results on prevalence, health outcomes and women’s responses. Retrieved from http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/publications/violence/24159358X/en/.
Goodman, J. K., Cryder, C. E., & Cheema, A. (2012). Data collection in a flat world: The strengths and weaknesses of Mechanical Turk samples. Journal of Behavioral Decision Making, 26, 213–224. doi:10.1002/bdm.1753.
Graham-Kevan, N., & Archer, J. (2009). Control tactics and partner violence in heterosexual relationships. Evolution and Human Behavior, 30, 445–452. doi:10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2009.06.007.
Hartwell, L. P., Humphries, T. M., Erchull, M. J., & Liss, M. (2015). The development and validation of the Jealousy is Good Scale. Gender Issues, 32, 245–265. doi:10.1007/s12147-015-9141-6.
Hayes, S. (2014). Sex, love and abuse: Discourses on domestic violence and sexual assault. Bassingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan.
Hayes, S., & Jeffries, S. (2013). Why do they keep going back? Exploring women’s discursive experiences of intimate partner violence. International Journal of Criminology and Sociology, 2, 57–71.
Hellmuth, J. C., Gordon, K. C., Stuart, G. L., & Moore, T. M. (2012). Risk factors for intimate partner violence during pregnancy and postpartum. Archive of Women’s Mental Health, 16, 19–27. doi:10.1007/s00737-012-0309-8.
Henderson, A. J., Bartholomew, K., Trinke, S. J., & Kwong, M. J. (2005). When loving means hurting: An exploration of attachment and intimate abuse in a community sample. Journal of Family Violence, 20, 219–230. doi:10.1007/s10896-005-5985-y.
Hu, L., & Bentler, P. M. (1999). Cutoff criteria for fit indexes in covariance structure analysis: Conventional criteria versus new alternatives. Structural Equation Modeling, 6, 1–55. doi:10.1080/10705519909540118.
Jackson, S. (2001). Happily never after: Young women’s stories of abuse in heterosexual love relationships. Feminism & Psychology, 11, 305–321. doi:10.1177/0959353501011003004.
Jewkes, R. K., Dunkle, K., Nduna, M., & Shai, N. (2010). Intimate partner violence, relationship power inequity, and incidence of HIV infection in young women in South Africa: A cohort study. The Lancet, 376(9734), 41–48. doi:10.1016/S0140- 6736(10)60548-X.
Kaighobadi, F., Starratt, V. G., Shackelford, T. K., & Popp, D. (2008). Male mate retention mediates the relationship between female sexual infidelity and female-directed violence. Personality and Individual Differences, 44, 1422–1431. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2007.12.010.
Kaighobadi, F., Shackelford, T. K., & Goetz, A. T. (2009). From mate retention to murder: Evolutionary psychological perspectives on men’s partner-directed violence. Review of General Psychology, 13, 327–334. doi:10.1037/a0017254.
Mahalik, J. R., Locke, B. D., Ludlow, L. H., Diemer, M. A., Scott, R. P. J., Gottfried, M., & Freitas, G. (2003). Development of the Conformity to Masculine Norms Inventory. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 4, 3–25. doi:10.1037/1524-9220.4.1.3.
Mahalik, J. R., Morray, E. B., Coonerty-Femiano, A., Ludlow, H. L., Slattery, S. M., & Smiler, A. (2005). Development of the Conformity to Feminine Norms Inventory. Sex Roles, 52, 417–435. doi:10.1007/s11199-005-3709-7.
McCarry, M. (2010). Becoming a ‘proper man’: Young people’s attitudes about interpersonal violence and perceptions of gender. Gender and Education, 22, 17–30. doi:10.1080/09540250902749083.
Mouton, C. P. (2003). Intimate partner violence and health status among older women. Violence Against Women, 9, 1465–1477. doi:10.1177/1077801203259238.
Muthén, L. K., & Muthén, B. O. (1998–2010). Mplus user’s guide (6th ed.). Los Angeles: Muthén & Muthén.
Neufeld, J., McNamara, J. R., & Ertl, M. (1999). Incidence and prevalence of dating partner abuse and its relationship to dating practices. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 14, 125–137. doi:10.1177/088626099014002002.
O’Leary, K. D., Slep, A. M., & O’Leary, S. G. (2007). Multivariate models of men’s and women’s partner aggression. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 75, 752–764. doi:10.1037/0022-006X.75.5.752.
Power, C., Koch, T., Kralik, D., & Jackson, D. (2006). Lovestruck: Women, romantic love and intimate partner violence. Contemporary Nurse: A Journal for the Nursing Profession, 21, 174–185. doi:10.5172/conu.2006.21.2.174.
Puente, S., & Cohen, D. (2003). Jealousy and the meaning (or nonmeaning) of violence. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29, 449–460. doi:10.1177/0146167202250912.
Rose, S. (2000). Heterosexism and the study of women’s romantic relationships. Journal of Social Issues, 56, 315–328. doi:10.1111/0022-4537.00168.
Rose, S., & Frieze, I. H. (1989). Young singles’ scripts for a first date. Gender & Society, 3, 258–268. doi:10.1177/089124389003002006.
Rudman, L. A., & Heppen, J. B. (2003). Implicit romantic fantasies and women’s interest in personal power: A glass slipper effect? Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29, 1357–1370. doi:10.1177/0146167203256906.
Schank, R. C., & Abelson, R. P. (1977). Scripts, plans, goals, and understanding: An inquiry into human knowledge structures. Hillsdale: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Schreiber, J. B., Stage, F. K., King, J., Nora, A., & Barlow, E. A. (2006). Reporting structural equation modeling and confirmatory factor analysis results: A review. The Journal of Educational Research, 99, 323–327. doi:10.3200/JOER.99.6.323-338.
Shackelford, T. K., Goetz, A. T., Buss, D. M., Euler, H. A., & Hoier, S. (2005). When we hurt the ones we love: Predicting violence against women from men’s mate retention. Personal Relationships, 12, 447–463. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2005.00125.x.
Shepard, M. F., & Campbell, J. A. (1992). The Abusive Behavior Inventory: A measure of psychological and physical abuse. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 7, 291–305. doi:10.1177/088626092007003001.
Slep, A. M. S., Cascardi, M., Avery-Leaf, S., & O’Leary, K. D. (2001). Two new measured of attitudes about the acceptability of teen dating aggression. Psychological Assessment, 13, 306–318. doi:10.1037//1040-3590.I3.3.306.
Smith, R. M., Parrott, D. J., Swartout, K. M., & Tharp, A. T. (2015). Deconstructing hegemonic masculinity: The roles of antifemininity, subordination to women, and sexual dominance in men’s perpetration of sexual aggression. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 16, 160–169. doi:10.1037/a0035956.
Sprecher, S., & Metts, S. (1989). Development of the ‘Romantic Beliefs Scale’ and examination of the effects of gender and gender-role orientation. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 6, 387–411. doi:10.1177/0265407589064001.
Sprecher, S., Schmeeckle, M., & Felmlee, D. (2006). The principle of least interest: Inequality in emotional involvement in romantic relationships. Journal of Family Issues, 27, 1255–1280. doi:10.1177/0192513X06289215.
Strachan, C. E., & Dutton, D. G. (1992). The role of power and gender in anger responses to sexual jealousy. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 22, 1721–1740. doi:10.1111/j.1559-1816.1992.tb00973.x.
Tomkins, S. S. (1978). Script theory: Differential magnification of affects. In H. E. Howe Jr. & R. A. Dienstbier (Eds.), Nebraska Symposium on Motivation (Vol. 26, pp. 201–236). Lincoln, NE: University of Nebraska Press.
U.S. Department of Justice (2000). Full report of the prevalence, incidence, and consequences of violence against women. Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office Retrieved from https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/183781.pdf.
Vandello, J. A., & Cohen, D. (2008). Culture, gender, and men’s intimate partner violence. Social and Personality Compass, 2, 652–667. doi:10.1111/j.1751-9004.2008.00080.
Waller, W. (1938). The family: A dynamic interpretation. Oxford, UK: Cordon.
Wood, J. T. (2001). The normalization of violence in heterosexual romantic relationship: Women’s narratives of love and violence. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 18, 239–261. doi:10.1177/0265407501182005.
Zink, T., Fisher, B. S., Regan, S., & Pabst, S. (2005). The prevalence and incidence of intimate partner violence in older women in primary care practices. Journal of General Internal Medicine, 20, 884–888. doi:10.1111/j.1525-1497.2005.0191.x.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Corresponding author
Rights and permissions
About this article
Cite this article
Papp, L.J., Liss, M., Erchull, M.J. et al. The Dark Side of Heterosexual Romance: Endorsement of Romantic Beliefs Relates to Intimate Partner Violence. Sex Roles 76, 99–109 (2017). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-016-0668-0
Published:
Issue Date:
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-016-0668-0