Abstract
This paper aims at showing that a renowned Catholic priest Henri Nouwen was suffering from strong unmet amae or the desire to be loved during his depressive experience. Through the Japanese unique concept of amae, new light is shed on Nouwen’s depression. First, the author explains the concept of amae, giving two examples from Western works. Second, he argues that Nouwen’s amae emotions can mainly be found in his work The Inner Voice of Love. Third, Nouwen’s famous concept of the ‘wounded healer’ is discussed in connection with training analysis, and it is contended that training analysis requires the analysand to confront the shadow aspects of their personality, one of which is negative amae emotion, such as childishness or immaturity. Fourth, it is contended that Nouwen’s depression played a part in his self-analysis. In overcoming his depression, Nouwen managed to come to terms with his amae and bodiliness. The article explores Nouwen’s depression from a holistic standpoint. In addition, the author argues that the concept of amae can help individuals understand their desire to be loved from the very early stage of infancy to adulthood.
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Notes
However, as Elizabeth Johnston-Taylor (2007) states, the wounded healer paradigm and the conventional paradigm are “more like two ends of a continuum” (p. 20).
In chapter 8 of The Anatomy of Self: The Individual versus Society, Doi (2001a) refers to Jesus as a person who possesses “the two essential qualities of the human being who has charm: an interior life that is indiscernible from the outside, and the ability to arouse feelings of intimacy in others” (p. 120). The description of Jesus in this chapter reflects Doi’s belief in Christianity, although he does not acknowledge it in his academic writings.
Balint (1985) explains what passive object love is in his chapter titled “Critical Notes on the Theory of the Pregenital Organization of the Libido.”.
Nouwen (2017) talks about his friends suggesting he not hide his painful experiences from those who had come to know him through his various books on the spiritual life (p. xviii). So, it may be assumed that Nouwen’s work The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey through Anguish to Freedom is for lay people, not just for professionals.
In this quotation from Nouwen, I postulate that he does not include psychiatrists in the term ‘doctor.’ First of all, a psychiatrist, especially a psychoanalytic psychiatrist such as Fromm-Reichmann, is similar to a minister in that they mainly address patients’ minds, hearts, emotions, etc., which are intangible, in contrast to other doctors who deal with patients’ physical condition. Second, Nouwen was very familiar with psychoanalytic thinking, so it is not likely that he thought that a psychiatrist and therefore a wounded healer could be a good psychiatrist if his private life is severely disturbed, but a physician could be a good physician. Third, his work at the Menninger Foundation in Topeka, Kansas indicates his familiarity with the intersected roles of religion and psychiatry in clinical care (Ford, 2006, p. xiii) and it is assumed that Nouwen regards a psychiatrist as a doctor of the soul.
Nouwen’s sexual identity as a homosexual is alluded to in several works (e.g., Scrutton, 2015, p.103).
Though Ford (2006) uses the word ‘sexuality,’ not ‘homosexuality’ (p. 152), it is obvious that he is employing the word sexuality as a synonym for homosexuality. He writes, “There was a constant tension at the heart of Nouwen’s personality between being a priest... and living with the painful knowledge of his sexuality, which he described as a handicap” (p. 152).
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Acknowledgments
First of all, I am greatly indebted to a visiting professor to the Kumamoto Study Center, Terry Laskowski. Although his specialty is teacher development, he helped me with far more than editing. His vast knowledge of Japanese culture gave me invaluable insights into the concept of amae. Next, I am especially grateful to Dr. Elizabeth Johnston-Taylor, who talked with me about the relationship between Nouwen and the concept of the wounded healer through our email correspondence. And, I would like to express my special thanks to Reverend Caroline Keenan. She introduced me to Henri Nouwen’s writings when she used one of his books, Life of the Beloved, as a text in our Bible class at Kumamoto Lutheran church in Kumamoto, Japan. And, last but not least, the author’s friend Gayle Emma Nelson of of Lutheran Theological Southern Seminary has supported the author in technical and spiritual ways. I am deeply indebted to all four of these people for their help with this article.
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Uemura, K. The Japanese Concept of Amae: New Light on Henri Nouwen’s Experience of Depression. Pastoral Psychol 70, 419–439 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11089-021-00953-6
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DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s11089-021-00953-6