Downtime

Abstract

When I was in graduate school, a friend of mine had her first child just as she was beginning her dissertation, when she was still working as a teaching assistant. She was married to a working professional, so financially she could handle this, but it seemed to me a lot to take on. I asked her how she managed teaching, writing, and being a new mom all at once. (Why I thought there could be any time that would be easier to handle these things can be chalked up to my youth and inexperience. Bear with me here.) She said to me that the key to balancing her academic life with her family life was one simple rule: never use the baby to take a break from the work, and never use the work to take a break from the baby; breaks must always be something else. I do not know why this conversation remained so memorable, especially since my single life at the time was pretty simple, but it did stick with me, and, to this day, it seems like wise advice. Even as a singleton renting an apartment, I had a “home life” that required the care and maintenance of that home, even if all that amounted to was cleaning the apartment regularly, paying the bills, and caring for my cat’s needs. These days, although I do not have children, I do have a spouse, a rather high-maintenance canine companion, and an even higher-maintenance house, as well as certain responsibilities to our natal and extended families.