Are Elderly People Safe in Their Own Households? New Evidence from Seven States of India

Abstract

Elder abuse and neglect were never considered as problems in India when a value-based joint family system was prevailing. However, elder mistreatment is increasing as a result of the breakdown of joint families and fewer children to depend upon during old age. This chapter explores the extent and nature of elder abuse and neglect using the data from the Building Knowledge-Base on Population Ageing in India (BKPAI) survey which was conducted in 2011 in seven states of India. Information on health, economic and social aspects, including abuse and neglect, was collected from 9852 seniors. Some 10% of them reported having been mistreated after the age of 60. Verbal abuse and disrespect were the most common forms of abuse. Among those who had ever experienced abuse after turning 60, 90% faced verbal abuse and 45% were victims of economic abuse. Around 35% were victims of physical abuse. The main perpetrators were neighbours (46%), sons (41%) and relatives (32%). Wide inter-state variation exists with nearly one-third of seniors from Maharashtra reporting abuse and neglect compared to only 2% in Tamil Nadu and 3% in Kerala. Elderly people who lived alone, those who lived in rural areas and those who were illiterate were more likely to be mistreated than others. Economic dependency upon care-givers also increased their vulnerability. The general perception that families are the safest place for elderly people to live has been questioned to some extent by the findings of this study.

Annex: Case Studies

Case Study 1

Mr. Y is an 83-year-old widower, living with his youngest son and family. He belongs to an aristocratic Christian family. He has 10 children—seven sons and three daughters—and all of them are well settled in different parts of India and abroad. His wife passed away a few years back. He had around 50 acres of land and divided this between all his children and has kept only four acres of land and house in his own name. The youngest son is living with him and takes care of him properly. He used to enquire daily about his food requirements and instruct his wife to give milk to Daddy. The other sons were not so happy with Mr. Y because he had given a major share of the land to the youngest son. He justified his action by saying ‘I have given 15 acres of land to him with the expectation that he will take care of me’. Mr. Y is an asthma patient and suffers from diabetes and high blood pressure. Whenever he asked his son to take him to a hospital, he used to oblige. Recently, his son told him to write a will stating that, after his death, the property (4 acres of land and house) would be for him along. Mr. Y called the Registrar to his home and signed the required documents.

Though he is fond of his youngest son, sometimes he feels that he is not getting enough care and attention at home. ‘Whenever I ask for any specific need, he is very reluctant to help. Maybe he is too busy with so much of work’. But Mr. Y narrated some incidents when he had felt very upset. ‘One day, when my daughter-in-law asked me to have lunch, I was not feeling hungry, so I told her I will come after one hour’. After one hour, when I asked for lunch, she replied like this: ‘I am not running a restaurant here to supply food at any time’. When I told my son about this, he supported his wife by saying, ‘She has a lot of work, so you try to take food on time. Even if you do not take food for one day, nothing will happen to you’. When Mr. Y wanted his son to take him to a hospital, the reaction was, ‘Today I don’t have time. During our last visit, the doctor told me that you don’t have any health problem. It is only a psychological problem’. When my elder son came to see me after many years, I informed all these things. He just replied, ‘It is your mistake. Who told you to execute such a will and hide everything from all of us? Now we can’t do anything’. Last month, he was admitted to hospital due to high blood pressure and asthma. His youngest son told his brothers, ‘“I cannot stay in hospital with him. So any one of you please stays with him or arranges some servant to take care of him at home”. But my other sons are also not interested in taking care of him’. His second daughter told him that he can stay with her family. ‘It is a shame to go and stay with daughter after having seven sons.’ The old man concluded, ‘It was my mistake that I gave more love and property to my youngest son. Now I have to suffer silently and nobody else will take care of me’. He now realizes that his judgement was wrong and he blames himself for the situation. At least, he expected a sympathetic attitude and kind words from children. Mr. Y is not fortunate enough to have that in the last years of his life.

Case Study 2

Mrs. A is a widow from a very poor family, living with her son and daughter-in-law. She has one son and one daughter. She worked as a part-time servant in a house and has stopped working for the last five years due to her health problems. Her son is a heart patient. He is not able to do any work. Her daughter-in-law is working as an agricultural labourer and her earning is the only source of income for the family. While describing the behaviour of her daughter-in-law, she said ‘My daughter-in-law is not talking with me for many years, even though we are living in the same house. She never called me “Amma” (mother) during last seven years and she uses some offensive slang word instead of “Amma” while mentioning about me to others. She leaves the food in my room and never tells me whether the food is ready or not. Even if I am sleeping she leaves the food in the room and goes away’. Since she is the only breadwinner of the house, my son never questions her on anything. Moreover, he is in a depressed condition due to his illness and economic problems. She is also tense about the attitude of her own daughter who is married to a family in the same village. In her words, ‘If my own daughter is not interested to see the old mother, what can we expect from daughter-in-law?’ Mrs. A spent all her little earnings on her daughter’s marriage. Nowadays, the daughter has stopped coming to meet her and will not help in any way even though she is in a better-off condition. After much probing, the old widow explained how she was treated and neglected in her family. ‘One day I fell down in the courtyard and fractured my leg. Somehow, I managed to come up to the house before fainting. When I got up, I saw no-one in the house. So I screamed and one of my neighbours informed my daughter about my injury. When she was informed about my fracture, her response was, ‘I have enough responsibilities in my home and I don’t have time to take care of her. Moreover, it is not my duty. It is the duty of my brother as he got the house from mother’. My neighbours took me to the hospital and provided me with food for one month. My son and daughter-in-law came to see me after a month. My daughter-in-law removed the cot and mattress from my room. Now two wooden planks are kept on the bricks as a bed. ‘Nowadays, my daughter-in-law does not give me enough food to eat. If I protest, she will shout at me.’ Mrs. A is totally depressed and worried: ‘I don’t have any economic assets; I spent all my earnings for on daughter’s marriage and gave the land and house to my son. So I have to depend on them for my daily requirements. I am afraid to commit suicide. I do not have courage. I am praying to God to take me away from this world at the earliest. Why should I suffer and live like a beggar?’

It was very difficult to interview Mrs. A on the first visit as her daughter-in-law was observing everything. During the next visit, fortunately her daughter-in-law was away and I could talk to the old lady in a relaxed manner. Though her son was at home, he never asked anything. When I was saying goodbye after a long chat, the old lady told me, ‘I hope you will take care of your mother. Please do not behave like my daughter-in-law’. She also reminded me, ‘What I discussed with you is between you and me. Never mention this to my daughter-in-law. If she happens to know, she will throw me out and next time you will see me lying on the street’.

Note: The above two case studies were part of a study on elder abuse conducted in rural Kerala (Sebastian 2013).