Skip to main content
SpringerLink
Log in

Introduction to the Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships

  • Chapter
  • First Online:
The Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships

  • 2669 Accesses

Abstract

This chapter discusses the importance of studying love and hate in intimate relationships, focusing on how unconventional aspects of intimate relationships: Non-monogamy, female orgasm, sadism, and hate are often overlooked and undervalued in the social sciences. Within this volume, several researchers from a variety of disciplines within psychology use empirical and theoretical evidence to demonstrate the importance of these underrepresented aspects of intimate relationships. By shedding more light on how love and hate can work in intimate relationships given the changes in technology, values, and time, it is hoped that satisfaction in intimate relationships and understanding of relationship processes will increase.

This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.

Access this chapter

Log in via an institution
Chapter
USD 29.95
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Available as PDF
  • Read on any device
  • Instant download
  • Own it forever
eBook
USD 109.00
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Available as EPUB and PDF
  • Read on any device
  • Instant download
  • Own it forever
Softcover Book
USD 139.99
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Compact, lightweight edition
  • Dispatched in 3 to 5 business days
  • Free shipping worldwide - see info
Hardcover Book
USD 139.99
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Durable hardcover edition
  • Dispatched in 3 to 5 business days
  • Free shipping worldwide - see info

Tax calculation will be finalised at checkout

Purchases are for personal use only

Institutional subscriptions

References

  • Averill, J. R. (2012). Anger and aggression: An essay on emotion. Springer Science & Business Media.

    Google Scholar 

  • Beck, A. T. (1999). Prisoners of hate: The cognitive basis of anger, hostility, and violence. HarperCollins Publishers.

    Google Scholar 

  • Blum, H. P. (1997). Clinical and developmental dimensions of hate. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 45, 359–375.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Bowlby, J. (1976). Separation: Anxiety and anger (Vol. 2). New York, NY: Basic books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bushman, B. J. (2002). Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame? Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger, and aggressive responding. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(6), 724–731.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Bushman, B. J., Baumeister, R. F., & Stack, A. D. (1999). Catharsis, aggression, and persuasive influence: Self-fulfilling or self-defeating prophecies? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76(3), 367–376.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Buckingham-Hatfield, S. (2000). Gender and environment. New York, NY: Routledge.

    Google Scholar 

  • Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2009). Act against AIDS: Focus on monogamy. Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov/actagainstaids/basics/prevention.html

  • Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2014). National Marriage and Divorce Rate Trends. Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/marriage_divorce_tables.htm

  • Cohn, D. (2014, May 13). Census struggles to reach an accurate number on gay marriages. Pew Research Center. Retrieved from http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/05/13/census-struggles-to-reach-an-accurate-number-on-gay-marriages/

  • Conley, T. D., Ziegler, A., Moors, A. C., Matsick, J. L., & Valentine, B. (2012). A critical examination of popular assumptions about the benefits and outcomes of monogamous relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Review, doi:10.1177/1088868312467087

    Google Scholar 

  • Coontz, S. (2006). Marriage, a history: How love conquered marriage. New York, NY: Penguin.

    Google Scholar 

  • Euripides. (1993). Medea. (R. Warner, Trans.). Mineola, NY: Dover Publications Inc. (Original work published 431 B.C.E.).

    Google Scholar 

  • Harris, M. (2007, June 18). Dump the NC-17 rating. Entertainment Weekly. Retrieved from http://www.ew.com/article/2007/06/18/mark-harris-dump-nc-17-rating

  • Kernberg, O. (1992). The psychopathology of hatred. In T. Shapiro & R. N. Emde (Eds.), Affect: Psychoanalytic perspectives (pp. 209–238). Madison, CT: International Universities Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Klein, M. (1975). Envy and gratitude and other essays 1946-1963. Hogarth Press, 1975; reprinted Virago, 1988, pp. 1–24.

    Google Scholar 

  • Koop, C. E. (1987). Surgeon General’s report on acquired immune deficiency syndrome. Public Health Reports, 102, 1–3.

    PubMed  PubMed Central  Google Scholar 

  • Leitenberg, H., & Henning, K. (1995). Sexual fantasy. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 469.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Lindquist, K. A., & Barrett, L. F. (2008). Emotional complexity. Handbook of emotions, 513–530.

    Google Scholar 

  • Marber, D., & Rosenthal, D. (2007). Closer. New York, NY: Bloomsbury Publishing.

    Google Scholar 

  • Masters, W. H., & Johnson, V. E. (1966). Human Sexual Response. Toronto, New York: Bantam Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Mathers, M., Grant, A., & Hafermann, H. (2010). Love the way you lie [recorded by Eminem & Rihanna]. On Recovery [CD]. Santa Monica, CA: Interscope Records.

    Google Scholar 

  • McKellar, P. (1950). Provocation to anger and development of attitudes of hostility. British Journal of Psychology, 40, 104–114.

    Google Scholar 

  • Misovich, S. J., Fisher, J. D., & Coates, T. J. (1997). Close relationship and elevated HIV risk behavior: Evidence and possible underlying psychological processes. Review of General Psychology, 1, 72–107.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Moss, D. (Ed.). (2003). Hating in the first person plural. New York: Other Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Nowak, R. (2006). Polygamous possums turn to pairing for life. New Scientist, 191(2565), 15.

    Google Scholar 

  • Rempel, J. K., & Burris, C. T. (2005). Let me count the ways: An integrative theory of love and hate. Personal Relationships, 12(2), 297–313.

    Google Scholar 

  • Shellenbarger, N. (2004). No Comfort in Numbers: Divorce Rate Varies Widely From Group to Group. The Wall Street Journal. Retrieved from: http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB108258539159789775

  • Shiota, M. N., Campos, B., Gonzaga, G. C., Keltner, D., & Peng, K. (2010). I love you but…: Cultural differences in complexity of emotional experience during interaction with a romantic partner. Cognition and Emotion, 24(5), 786–799.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Strasser, F. (1999). Emotions: experiences in existential psychotherapy and life. London: Duckworth.

    Google Scholar 

  • Oliver, M. B., & Hyde, J. S. (1993). Gender differences in sexuality: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 114(1), 29.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Vitz, P. C., & Mango, P. (1997). Kleinian psychodynamics and religious aspects of hatred as a defense mechanism. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 25(1), 64–71.

    Google Scholar 

  • United Nations Office of Drugs and Crime. (2013). Male and female homicide victims killed by intimate partner or family members as percentage of total homicide victims, time series 2005–2012 [Data file]. Retrieved from https://www.unodc.org/gsh/en/data.html

  • Wilson, G. D., & Lang, R. J. (1981). Sex differences in sexual fantasy patterns. Personality and Individual Differences, 2(4), 343–346.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • World Health Organization. (2016, January). Violence against women: Intimate partner and sexual violence against women. Retrieved from http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs239/en/

Download references

Author information

Authors and Affiliations

  1. Department of Psychology, Hawaii Pacific University, Honolulu, Hawaii, USA

    Katherine Aumer

Authors
  1. Katherine Aumer
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

Corresponding author

Correspondence to Katherine Aumer .

Editor information

Editors and Affiliations

  1. Psychology, Hawaii Pacific University, Honolulu, Hawaii, USA

    Katherine Aumer

Rights and permissions

Reprints and permissions

Copyright information

© 2016 Springer International Publishing Switzerland

About this chapter

Cite this chapter

Aumer, K. (2016). Introduction to the Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships. In: Aumer, K. (eds) The Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-39277-6_1

Download citation

Publish with us

Policies and ethics

Search

Navigation