Case 10 Mr. Arturo Miguel: Some Courts Deprive Dads and Their Children of Each Other’s Companionship/Love

Abstract

In this chapter, Mr. Miguel relives his long, painful pathway to recovery of his sense of emotional well-being following his wife’s decision that she wanted a separation. He was completely immersed in his marriage and did not contemplate a breakup or the unfathomable possibility of not being able to be a part of his two beloved sons’ lives on a daily basis. The loss of this treasured family constellation was an alien event in his worldview and hard for him to integrate into the totality of his being. When his ex-wife, who had gotten sole custody against his wishes, made a unilateral decision to send their sons to boarding school, he felt chagrined and reduced to being helpless to influence and overturn this decision. Their being sent away to school so their mother would be free of daily responsibility for them, something he would gladly have assumed, led to increasing his feelings of estrangement from them and like they had been kidnapped from him. He recounts fond memories of vacations they spent together.

Luckily, Mr. Miguel eventually overcame his bitterness and distrust of women and remarried. His second marriage is described as compatible, loving, fulfilling, and enriching for Mr. M, his wife, and their two children, and they have successfully integrated his sons, a daughter-in-law, and grandchild into their affectionate and loyal family – after his and his sons’ initial arduous and circuitous journey.