Skip to main content
SpringerLink
Log in

Sexual Regret: Evidence for Evolved Sex Differences

  • Original Paper
  • Published:
Archives of Sexual Behavior Aims and scope Submit manuscript

Abstract

Regret and anticipated regret enhance decision quality by helping people avoid making and repeating mistakes. Some of people’s most intense regrets concern sexual decisions. We hypothesized evolved sex differences in women’s and men’s experiences of sexual regret. Because of women’s higher obligatory costs of reproduction throughout evolutionary history, we hypothesized that sexual actions, particularly those involving casual sex, would be regretted more intensely by women than by men. In contrast, because missed sexual opportunities historically carried higher reproductive fitness costs for men than for women, we hypothesized that poorly chosen sexual inactions would be regretted more by men than by women. Across three studies (Ns = 200, 395, and 24,230), we tested these hypotheses using free responses, written scenarios, detailed checklists, and Internet sampling to achieve participant diversity, including diversity in sexual orientation. Across all data sources, results supported predicted psychological sex differences and these differences were localized in casual sex contexts. These findings are consistent with the notion that the psychology of sexual regret was shaped by recurrent sex differences in selection pressures operating over deep time.

This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.

Access this article

Log in via an institution

Price excludes VAT (USA)
Tax calculation will be finalised during checkout.

Instant access to the full article PDF.

Institutional subscriptions

Fig. 1
Fig. 2

Similar content being viewed by others

References

  • Armstrong, E. A., England, P., & Fogarty, A. C. K. (2010). Orgasm in college hookups and relationships. In B. Risman (Ed.), Families as they really are (pp. 214–227). New York: Norton.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bailey, J. M., Gaulin, S., Agyei, Y., & Gladue, B. A. (1994). Effects of gender and sexual orientation on evolutionary relevant aspects of human mating psychology. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 66, 1081–1093.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Baumeister, R. F., Catanese, K. R., & Vohs, K. D. (2001). Is there a gender difference in strength of sex drive? Theoretical views, conceptual distinctions, and a review of relevant evidence. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 5, 242–273.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Beike, D. R., Markman, K. D., & Karadogan, F. (2009). What we regret most are lost opportunities: A theory of regret intensity. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 35, 385–397.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Betzig, L. (1989). Causes of conjugal dissolution: A cross-cultural study. Current Anthropology, 30, 654–676.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Buss, D. M. (1989). Conflict between the sexes: Strategic interference and the evocation of anger and upset. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 56, 735–747.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Buss, D. M. (1995). Psychological sex differences: Origins through sexual selection. American Psychologist, 50, 164–171.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Buss, D. M., & Schmitt, D. P. (1993). Sexual strategies theory: An evolutionary perspective on human mating. Psychological Review, 100, 204–232.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Campbell, A. (2008). The morning after the night before: Affective reactions to one-night stands among mated and unmated women and men. Human Nature, 19, 157–173.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Clark, R. D., & Hatfield, E. (1989). Gender differences in receptivity to sexual offers. Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, 2, 39–55.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Clutton-Brock, T. H., & Parker, G. A. (1992). Potential reproductive rates and the operation of sexual selection. Quarterly Review of Biology, 67, 437–456.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Craigslist. (2011). Fact sheet. Retrieved from http://www.craigslist.org/about/factsheet.

  • Crawford, M., & Popp, D. (2003). Sexual double standards: A review and methodological critique of two decades of research. Journal of Sex Research, 40, 13–26.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Dickson, N., Paul, C., Herbison, P., & Silva, P. (1998). First sexual intercourse: Age, coercion and later regrets reported by a birth cohort. British Medical Journal, 316, 29–33.

    Article  PubMed Central  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Dufour, D. L., & Sauther, M. L. (2002). Comparative and evolutionary dimensions of the energetics of human pregnancy and lactation. American Journal of Human Biology, 14, 584–602.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Eshbaugh, E. M., & Gute, G. (2008). Hookups and sexual regret among college women. Journal of Social Psychology, 148, 77–89.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Fielder, R. L., & Carey, M. P. (2010). Prevalence and characteristics of sexual hookups among first-semester female college students. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 36, 346–359.

    Article  PubMed Central  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Frederick, D. A., & Haselton, M. G. (2007). Why is muscularity sexy? Tests of the fitness indicator hypothesis. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 33, 1167–1183.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Frederick, D. A., Peplau, L. A., & Lever, J. (2006). The swimsuit issue: Correlates of body image in a sample of 52,677 heterosexual adults. Body Image, 4, 413–419.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gangestad, S. W., & Simpson, J. A. (2000). The evolution of human mating: Trade-offs and strategic pluralism. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 23, 675–687.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Geary, D. C. (2000). Evolution and proximate expression of human paternal investment. Psychological Bulletin, 126, 55–77.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Gilovich, T., & Medvec, V. H. (1994). The temporal pattern to the experience of regret. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67, 357–365.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Gosling, S. D., Vazire, S., Srivastava, S., & John, O. P. (2004). Should we trust Web-based studies? A comparative analysis of six preconceptions about Internet questionnaires. American Psychologist, 59, 93–104.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Greiling, H., & Buss, D. M. (2000). Women’s sexual strategies: The hidden dimension of short–term mating. Personality and Individual Differences, 28, 929–963.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gueguen, N. (2011). Effects of solicitor sex and attractiveness on receptivity to sexual offers: A field study. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40, 915–919.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Haselton, M. G., & Buss, D. M. (2000). Error management theory: A new perspective on biases in cross-sex mind reading. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78, 81–91.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Haselton, M. G., Buss, D. M., Oubaid, V., & Angleitner, A. (2005). Sex, lies, and strategic interference: The psychology of deception between the sexes. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31, 3–23.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Haselton, M. G., & Gangestad, S. W. (2006). Conditional expression of women’s desires and men’s mate guarding across the ovulatory cycle. Hormones and Behavior, 49, 509–518.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Hewlett, B. (1991). Demography and childcare in preindustrial societies. Journal of Anthropological Research, 47, 1–37.

    PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Kenrick, D. T., Groth, G. E., Trost, M. R., & Sadalla, E. K. (1993). Integrating evolutionary and social exchange perspectives on relationships: Effects of gender, self appraisal and involvement level on mate selection criteria. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64, 951–969.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Klassen, A. D., Williams, C. J., & Levitt, E. E. (1989). Sex and morality in the U.S. Middletown, CT: Wesleyan University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • La France, B. H., Henningsen, D. D., Oates, A., & Shaw, C. M. (2009). Social-sexual interactions? Meta-analyses of sex differences in perceptions of flirtatiousness, seductiveness, and promiscuousness. Communication Monographs, 76, 263–285.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Landman, J. (1987). Regret and elation following action and inaction: Affective responses to positive versus negative outcomes. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 13, 524–536.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Li, N. P., & Kenrick, D. T. (2006). Sex similarities and differences in preferences for short-term mates: What, whether, and why. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 90, 468–489.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Marlowe, F. (2000). Paternal investment and the human mating system. Behavioural Processes, 51, 45–61.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Marlowe, F. (2001). Male contribution to diet and female reproductive success among foragers. Current Anthropology, 42, 755–760.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Morrison, M., & Roese, N. J. (2011). Regrets of the typical American: Findings from a nationally representative sample. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2, 576–583.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Oswalt, S. B., Cameron, K. A., & Koob, J. J. (2002). Sexual regret in college students. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 34, 663–669.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Paul, E. L., & Hayes, K. A. (2002). The casualties of “casual” sex: A qualitative exploration of the phenomenology of college students’ hookups. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 19, 639–661.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Peplau, L. A. (2003). Human sexuality: How do men and women differ? Current Directions in Psychological Science, 12, 37–40.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Peplau, L. A., Frederick, D. A., Yee, C. K., Maisel, N., Lever, J., & Ghavami, N. (2009). Body image satisfaction in heterosexual, gay, and lesbian adults. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 38, 713–725.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Pillsworth, E. G., & Haselton, M. G. (2006a). Male sexual attractiveness predicts differential ovulatory shifts in female extra-pair attraction and male mate retention. Evolution and Human Behavior, 27, 247–258.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Pillsworth, E. G., & Haselton, M. G. (2006b). Women’s sexual strategies: The evolution of long-term bonds and extra-pair sex. Annual Review of Sex Research, 17, 59–100.

    Google Scholar 

  • Richard, R., De Vries, N., & van der Pligt, J. (1998). Anticipated regret and precautionary sexual behavior. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 25, 1411–1428.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Richard, R., van der Pligt, J., & De Vries, N. (1996). Anticipated regret and time perspective: Changing sexual risk-taking behavior. Journal of Behavioral Decision Making, 9, 185–199.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Roese, N. J., Pennington, J. L., Coleman, J., Janicki, M., Li, N. P., & Kenrick, D. T. (2006). Sex differences in regret: All for love or some for lust? Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32, 770–780.

    Article  PubMed Central  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Roese, N. J., & Summerville, A. (2005). What we regret most…and why. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31, 1273–1285.

    Article  PubMed Central  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Sandberg, T., & Conner, M. (2008). Anticipated regret as an additional predictor in the theory of planned behaviour: A meta-analysis. British Journal of Social Psychology, 47, 589–606.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Sawyer, R. G., & Smith, N. G. (1996). A survey of situational factors at first intercourse among college students. American Journal of Health Behavior, 20, 208–217.

    Google Scholar 

  • Schmitt, D. P., Alcalay, L., Allik, J., Ault, L., Austers, I., Bennett, K. L., et al. (2003). Universal sex differences in the desire for sexual variety: Tests from 52 nations, 6 continents, and 13 islands. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85, 85–104.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Sear, R., & Mace, R. (2008). Who keeps children alive? A review of the effects of kin on child survival. Evolution & Human Behavior, 29, 1–18.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Simpson, J. A., & Gangestad, S. W. (1991). Individual differences in sociosexuality: Evidence for convergent and discriminant validity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60, 870–883.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Symons, D. (1979). The evolution of human sexuality. New York: Oxford University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Townsend, J. M., & Wasserman, T. H. (2011). Sexual hookup among college students: Sex differences in emotional reactions. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40, 1173–1181.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Trivers, R. L. (1972). Parental investment and sexual selection. In B. Campbell (Ed.), Sexual selection and the descent of man: 1871–1971 (pp. 136–179). Chicago, IL: Aldine.

    Google Scholar 

  • Wachtmeister, C.-A., & Enquist, M. (1999). The evolution of female coyness: Trading time for information. Ethology, 105, 983–992.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Wade, L. D., Kremer, E. C., & Brown, J. (2005). The incidental orgasm: The presence of clitoral knowledge and the absence of orgasm for women. Women and Health, 42, 117–138.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Wight, D., Raab, G. M., Henderson, M., Abraham, C., Buston, K., Hart, G., et al. (2002). Limits of teacher delivered sex education: Interim behavioral outcomes from randomised trial. British Medical Journal, 324, 1430–1436.

    Article  PubMed Central  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Zeelenberg, M. (1999a). Anticipated regret, expected feedback and behavioral decision-making. Journal of Behavioral Decision Making, 12, 93–106.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Zeelenberg, M. (1999b). The use of crying over spilled milk: A note on the rationality and functionality of regret. Philosophical Psychology, 12, 325–340.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Zeelenberg, M., Inman, J. J., & Pieters, R. G. M. (2001). What we do when decisions go awry: Behavioral consequences of experienced regret. In E. U. Weber, J. Baron, & G. Loomes (Eds.), Conflict and tradeoffs in decision making (pp. 136–155). New York: Cambridge University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Zeelenberg, M., & Pieters, R. G. M. (2009). On the consequences of mentally simulating future foregone outcomes: A regret regulation perspective. In K. D. Markman, W. M. P. Klein, & J. A. Suhr (Eds.), Handbook of imagination and mental simulation (pp. 413–424). New York: Psychology Press.

    Google Scholar 

Download references

Author information

Authors and Affiliations

  1. Department of Psychology, University of California at Los Angeles, 1285 Franz Hall, Box 951563, Los Angeles, CA, 90095-1563, USA

    Andrew Galperin & Martie G. Haselton

  2. Department of Communication Studies, University of California at Los Angeles, Los Angeles, CA, USA

    Martie G. Haselton

  3. Crean School of Health and Life Sciences, Chapman University, Orange, CA, USA

    David A. Frederick

  4. The Charles Stark Draper Laboratory, Cambridge, MA, USA

    Joshua Poore

  5. School of Psychology, University of Queensland, St. Lucia, Australia

    William von Hippel

  6. Department of Psychology, University of Texas at Austin, Austin, TX, USA

    David M. Buss

  7. eHarmony Labs, Santa Monica, CA, USA

    Gian C. Gonzaga

Authors
  1. Andrew Galperin
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

  2. Martie G. Haselton
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

  3. David A. Frederick
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

  4. Joshua Poore
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

  5. William von Hippel
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

  6. David M. Buss
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

  7. Gian C. Gonzaga
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

Corresponding author

Correspondence to Andrew Galperin.

Appendix 1: Sexual Regret Vignettes in Study 1

Appendix 1: Sexual Regret Vignettes in Study 1

Sexual Inaction Scenario (Male Version)

Please read the following statements and answer each corresponding question accordingly.

Mark had been at his friend’s party for about an hour. He had a few drinks and was dancing to a great DJ, when a woman walked past and accidentally bumped into him. When he turned toward her he felt that she was looking at him seductively. She was very attractive, so he smiled at her and as he did she anxiously fidgeted with the edge of her glass. When he approached her she looked back at him again and smiled. Upon reaching her and introducing himself, she moved a little closer to him.

After chatting a bit, Mark was sure she was flirting with him, so he asked her to dance. Just as he was thinking he’d like to be alone with her, she put her head next to his and started whispering into his ear, “let’s go…” Before she could finish her sentence one of Mark’s sister’s friends grabbed his arm and pulled him close to her face to ask where his sister was. Mark didn’t want to be rude, and he tried to answer her politely, but he could tell that the woman he had just met was wondering who this person was, and what their relationship was. Although Mark tried to deal with the interruption quickly, it ended up being pretty awkward, and the woman he was dancing with went off to get a drink. Mark couldn’t find her later, and was thinking it wasn’t meant to be, when some friends asked him to go to a bar with them. At the end of the night, Mark arrived back at his place alone. He wondered about the sexual opportunity he had missed at the party.

Please complete each of the following statements using the scale below.

Sexual Action Scenario (Male Version)

Please read the following statements and answer each corresponding question accordingly.

William went to a dance club with some of his friends on a Saturday night. While there he met an extremely attractive and sexy woman named Linda. She had thick and beautiful hair, a gorgeous face, and was wearing very fashionable clothes. William wasn’t the only man there interested in her. It seemed as though men throughout the club were admiring her.

After talking a bit and enjoying each other’s company, William left the club with Linda and went back to his place. Once they arrived, they quickly began to passionately kiss and later had sex. The next morning William awoke feeling uncomfortable. The sex with Linda was disappointing and he felt awkward about having sex with someone he did not know very well. William dropped Linda off at her place. They never saw each other again.

Please complete each of the following statements using the scale below.

Appendix 2 Complete list of regrets from Study 2
Full size table

Rights and permissions

Reprints and permissions

About this article

Cite this article

Galperin, A., Haselton, M.G., Frederick, D.A. et al. Sexual Regret: Evidence for Evolved Sex Differences. Arch Sex Behav 42, 1145–1161 (2013). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-012-0019-3

Download citation

  • Received:

  • Revised:

  • Accepted:

  • Published:

  • Issue Date:

  • DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-012-0019-3

Keywords

Search

Navigation