Abstract
This paper explores unconscious maternal messages of endangerment for Black men living in US urban environments. Using qualitative methodology, the author intensively interviewed five Black men and their mothers to explore “the talk” from the men’s and their mother’s perspectives. Findings from the data revealed that mothers communicated endangerment messages to their sons that (1) taught them how to safely master a threatening and racist environment by using a double consciousness, (2) served as communications between mothers and sons about intergenerational trauma and strength, and (3) finally, created physically and emotionally safe connections between mothers and sons. Men also heard their mothers encourage a false self as a way to manage threats in their environment, and while this protected them, they also had to learn to suppress important parts of themselves. Clinicians treating Black men must be mindful of the psychological benefits and costs of these messages on their clients.
Similar content being viewed by others
References
Adams, C. J. (2021). Black youth: Self-making, creativity and the assertion of hybrid Black identities. The Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, 74(1), 59–76.
Adams, C. J. (2022). Psychoanalytic perspectives on psychosocial dimensions of adversity among black youth. Journal of Infant, Child, and Adolescent Psychotherapy,. https://doi.org/10.1080/15289168.2022.2069452
Auestad, L. (2015). Basic trust and alienation or “we have nothing to reproach ourselves with.” Psychoanalysis Culture and Society, 20, 326–342.
Baldwin, J. (1962). A letter to my nephew. The Progressive, 1.
Banks-Wallace, J. (2002). Talk that talk: Storytelling and analysis rooted in African American oral tradition. Qualitative Health Research, 12(3), 410–426.
Bateman, A., & Fonagy, P. (2013). Mentalization-based treatment. Psychoanalytic Inquiry, 33, 595–613.
Bion, W. R. (1962). Learning from experience. Heinemann.
Bosnak, R. (2003). Embodied imagination. Contemporary Psychoanalysis, 39, 683–695.
Bowman, P., & Howard, C. (1985). Race related socialization, motivation, and academic achievement: A study of Black youths in three-generation families. Journal of American Academy of Child Psychiatry, 24, 134–141.
Bryant, V. (2022). Standing at the Water’s edge: Manymothers in African American culture. Journal of Infant, Child & Adolescent Psychotherapy, 21, 125–139.
Byrd, J. A., Washington, A. R., Williams, J. M., & Lloyd, C. (2021). Reading woke: Exploring how school counselors may use bibliotherapy with adolescent black boys. Professional School Counseling, 25(1_part_4), 2156759X211040031.
Caughy, M. O. B., Nettles, S. M., O’Campo, P. J., & Lohrfink, K. F. (2006). Neighborhood matters: Racial socialization of African American children. Child Development, 77(5), 1220–1236.
Coates, T. N. (2015). Between the world and me. Text publishing.
Das, S., Pitts, J., Arevalo, K., Cox, B., Blood, T., Hughes, D., Coulanges, V., Keryc, C., Rogers, O., & Way, N. (2022). Lessons of resistance from black mothers to their black sons. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 32(3), 981–998.
Degruy-Leary, J. (2017). Post-traumatic slave syndrome: America’s legacy of enduring injury. New York: Joy DeGruy Publications Inc.
DeVance Taliaferro, J., Casstevens, W. J., & DeCuir Gunby, J. T. (2013). Working with African American clients using narrative therapy: An operational citizenship and critical race theory framework. International Journal of Narrative Therapy & Community Work, 1, 34–45.
Dowtin, L. L., & Sevon, M. A. (2019). The Black Panther lives: Marveling at the internal working models of self in young black children through play. Using Superheroes and Villains in Counseling and Play Therapy (pp. 274–291). Oxfordshire: Routledge.
Du Bois, W. E. B. (1968). The souls of [B]lack folk, Essays and sketches. A.G.McClurg.
Edwards, F., Lee, H., & Esposito, M. (2019). Risk of being killed by police use of force in the United States by age, race–ethnicity, and sex. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 116(34), 16793–16798.
Erikson, E. (1959). Identity and the life cycle. Selected paper. Psychological Issues Monograph 1 (Vol. 1). International Universities Press.
Fanon, F. (1967). [B]lack skin, [W]hite masks. Grove.
Finch, B. K., Beck, A., Burghart, D. B., Johnson, R., Klinger, D., & Thomas, K. (2019). Using crowd-sourced data to explore police-related-deaths in the United States (2000–2017): The Case of Fatal Encounters. Open Health Data, 6(1), 1.
Forcey, L. (1987). Mothers of sons: Toward an understanding of responsibility. Praeger.
Greene, B. A. (1990). The role of African American mothers in the socialization ofAfrican American children. Women and Therapy, 9, 207–230.
Greer, T. M., Brondolo, E., Amuzu, E., & Kaur, A. (2018). Cognitive behavioral models, measures, and treatments for stress disorders in African Americans. In E. C. Chang, C. A. Downey, J. K. Hirsch, & E. A. Yu (Eds.), Treating depression, anxiety, and stress in ethnic and racial groups: Cognitive behavioral approaches (pp. 287–311). American Psychological Association.
Gump, J. P. (2010). Reality matters: The shadow of trauma on African American subjectivity. Psychoanalytic Psychology, 27, 42–54.
Harris, A. (2017, July). Intimacy: The tank in the bedroom, Paper presented at the IPA 50th Congress IPSO 24th Conference, Buenos Aires
Hoffman, I. Z. (2009). Doublethinking our way to “scientific” legitimacy: The desiccation of human experience. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 57(5), 1043–1069.
Hsu, J., Tseng, W. S., Ashton, G., McDermott, J. F., Jr., & Char, W. (1991). Family interaction patterns among Japanese-American and Caucasian families in Hawaii. 1986 Annual Progress In Child Psychiatry (pp. 314–323). Routledge.
Hughes, D. (2003). Correlates of African-American and Latino parents’ messages to children about ethnicity and race: A comparative study of racial socialization. American Journal of Community Psychology, 31(1/2), 15–33.
Hughes, D., Rodriguez, J., Smith, E. P., Johnson, D. J., Stevenson, H. C., & Spicer, P. (2006). Parents’ ethnic-racial socialization practices: A review of research and directions for future study. Developmental Psychology, 42(5), 747.
Kiger, M. E., & Varpio, L. (2020). Thematic analysis of qualitative data: AMEE Guide No. 131. Medical Teacher, 42(8), 846–854.
King, J., & Mitchell, C. (1990). [B]lack mothers to sons: Juxtaposing African-American literature with social practice. Peter Lang.
King, J., & Mitchell, C. (1991). [B]lack mothers to sons: Juxtaposing African-American literature with social practice. In Browser (Ed.), Black male adolescence: Parenting and education in community context (pp. 129–159). University Press of America.
Lechner, S. C., Ennis-Whitehead, N., Robertson, B., Annane, D., Vargas, S., Carver, C., & Antoni, M. (2013). Adaptation of a psycho-oncology intervention for Black breast cancer survivors: Project CARE. The Counseling Psychologist, 41, 286–312.
Lechner, S. C., Whitehead, N., Vargas, S., Annane, D., Robertson, B., Carver, C., & Antoni, M. (2014). Does a community-based stress management intervention affect psychological adaptation among under-served black breast cancer survivors? Journal of the National Cancer Institute Monographs, 2014, 315–322.
Liu, L. L., & Lau, A. S. (2013). Teaching about race/ethnicity and racism matters: An examination of how perceived ethnic racial socialization processes are associated with depression symptoms. Cultural Diversity and Ethnic Minority Psychology, 19(4), 383–394.
Luyten, P., Nijssens, L., Fonagy, P., & Mayes, L. C. (2017). Parental reflective functioning: Theory, research, and clinical applications. The Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, 70(1), 174–199.
Maslow, A. H. (1970). Motivation and Personality (2nd ed.). Harper and Row.
McHale, S. M., Crouter, A. C., Kim, J. Y., Burton, L. M., Davis, K. D., Dotterer, A. M., & Swanson, D. P. (2006). Mothers’ and fathers’ racial socialization in African American families: Implications for youth. Child Development, 77(5), 1387–1402.
McLanahan, S., & Garfinkel, I. (1993). Single-mothers, the underclass, and social policy. In W. Wilson (Ed.), The ghetto underclass (pp. 109–121). Social science perspectives.
Menakem, R. (2017). My grandmother’s hands. Oxford: Central Recovery Press.
Moynihan, D. P. (1965). The Negro family: The case for national action. US Department of Labor: Office of Planning and Research.
NAACP. (2019). Criminal justice fact sheet
Parish, T. (1991). Ratings of self and parents by youth: Are they affected by family status, gender, and birth order? Adolescence, 26, 105–112.
Parish, T., & Taylor, J. (1979). The impact of divorce and subsequent father absence on children’s and adolescent’s self concept’s. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 8, 427–432.
Phinney, J. S. (1989). Stages of ethnic identity development in minority group adolescents. The Journal of Early Adolescence, 9(1–2), 34–49.
Powell, D. R. (2018). Race, African Americans, and psychoanalysis: Collective silence in the therapeutic situation. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 66(6), 1021–1049.
Public Broadcasting Service. (2020). The Talk: Race in America. https://www.pbs.org/show/talk-race-america/
Reynolds, R. (2010). “They think you’re lazy,” and other messages black parents send their black sons: An exploration of critical race theory in the examination of educational outcomes for black males. Journal of African American Males in Education, 1(2), 144–163.
Rivas-Drake, D., Seaton, E. K., Markstrom, C., Quintana, S., Syed, M., Lee, R. M., Schwartz, S. J., Umaña-Taylor, A. J., French, S., Yip, T., Ethnic and Racial Identity in the 21st Century Study Group. (2014). Ethnic and racial identity in adolescence: Implications for psychosocial, academic, and health outcomes. Child Development, 85(1), 40–57.
Sampson, H., & Weiss, J. (1986). Testing hypotheses: The approach of the Mount Zion Psychotherapy Research Group. Guilford Press.
Sampson, R. (1987). Urban [B]lack violence: The effect of male joblessness and family disruption. American Journal of Sociology, 93, 348–382.
Santa Maria, D., Markham, C., Engebretson, J., Baumler, E., & McCurdy, S. (2014). Parent–child communication about sex in African American mother–son dyads. Family Medicine & Medical Science Research, 3(3), 1–6.
Sapountzis, I. (2021). On racial melancholy and the need to see. Commentary on Archangelo and O’Loughlin’s paper “Exploring racial formation in children: Thoughts from an encounter with Black children in brazil.” Journal of Infant, Child, and Adolescent Psychotherapy, 20(3), 233–238. https://doi.org/10.1080/15289168.2021.1965433
Shengold, L. (1989). Soul Murder. Yale University Press.
Silberschatz, G., Curtis, J. T., Sampson, H., & Weiss, J. (1991). Mount Zion Hospital and Medical Center: Research on the process of change in psychotherapy. American Psychological Association.
Spencer, M. B. (1983). Children’s cultural values and parental child rearing strategies. Developmental Review, 3, 351–370.
Steinberg, L. (1987). Single parents, stepparents, and the susceptibility of adolescents to antisocial peer pressure. Child Development, 58, 269–275.
Stevenson, H. C. (1995). Relationship of adolescent perceptions of racial socialization to racial identity. Journal of Black Psychology, 21, 49–70.
Stout, B. (2019). Racial socialization and thwarted mentalization: Psychoanalytic reflections from the lived experience of James Baldwin’s America. American Imago, 76(3), 335–357.
Tolleson, J. (1996). The transformative power of violence: The psychological role ofgang life in relation to chronic traumatic childhood stress in the lives of urban adolescent males. (Unpublished doctoral dissertation). Smith College School for Social Work, Northampton, Massachusetts
Townsend, T., Hawkins, S., & Batts, A. (2007). Stress and stress reduction among African American women: A brief report. The Journal of Primary Prevention, 28, 569–582.
Vaughans, K. C. (2016). To unchain haunting blood memories: Intergenerational trauma among African Americans. Wounds of history (pp. 246–262). Routledge.
Vaughans, K. C. (2021). Black Boys in the Eye of the Storm. The Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, 74(1), 47–58.
Weiss, J. (1993). How psychotherapy works: Process and technique. Guilford Press.
Winnicott, D. W. (1990). Home is where we start from: Essays by a psychoanalyst. WW Norton & Company.
Zimilies, H., & Lee, V. (1991). Adolescent family structure and educational progress. Developmental Psychology, 27, 314–320.
Acknowledgements
This paper would not have been possible without the guidance and mentorship of Dr. Joan Berzoff. I am also grateful for the support of Dr. Jennifer Tolleson, Dr. Annie Lee Jones, Dr. Mead Goedert, Dr. Michelle Piotrowski, Kevin Mahon, Pheobe Cirio and the St. Louis Psychoanalytic Institute.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Corresponding author
Ethics declarations
Conflict of interest
The author declares that he has no conflict of interest.
Ethical Approval
All procedures performed in studies involving human participants were in accordance with the ethical standards of the Institutional Review Board at the Institute for Clinical Social Work.
Experiments Involving Human and/or Animal Participants
This article does not contain any studies with animals performed by any of the authors.
Informed Consent
Informed consent was obtained from all individual participants included in the study. Additional informed consent was obtained from all individual participants for whom identifying information is included in this article.
Additional information
Publisher's Note
Springer Nature remains neutral with regard to jurisdictional claims in published maps and institutional affiliations.
Rights and permissions
Springer Nature or its licensor (e.g. a society or other partner) holds exclusive rights to this article under a publishing agreement with the author(s) or other rightsholder(s); author self-archiving of the accepted manuscript version of this article is solely governed by the terms of such publishing agreement and applicable law.
About this article
Cite this article
Hawkins, H. Maternal Love in the Warzone: Exploring How Mothers Socialize Black Sons to Manage Racism. Clin Soc Work J 51, 283–293 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10615-023-00870-6
Accepted:
Published:
Issue Date:
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10615-023-00870-6