Skip to main content
SpringerLink
Log in

Elder Abuse, Impaired Adult Child, and Maternal Identity

Handbook of Interpersonal Violence and Abuse Across the Lifespan

  • 55 Accesses

Abstract

This chapter examines violence in the families of older adults by focusing on an understudied subject, older mother’s subjective experiences of being emotionally, physically, or financially abused by their adult child. A review of relevant literature from diverse fields including intergenerational ambivalence, child-to-parent violence, and feminist studies on intensive mothering is included. The majority of the chapter focuses on the findings from original qualitative research conducted by Dr. Judith Smith with both low-income and middle-class/affluent older women (>60). The findings demonstrate how the indissoluble bond of mothers toward their adult children frames older women’s ambivalent feelings and actions and restricts their willingness to report or name the problem as “abuse.” The author suggests creating clinical interventions for women at risk for abuse by their adult children by framing the problem as structural (conflicts as a mother and the lack of available resources for troubled adults), rather than personal (or intrapsychic). Seeing the issue as a social problem rather than a personal failing as a mother could allow mothers to more honestly address the problem and make decisions with less self-blame about their own need for safety.

This chapter was initially published with an incorrect copyright holder name. It has been corrected to © Springer Nature Switzerland AG.

This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.

Access this chapter

Log in via an institution

Institutional subscriptions

Similar content being viewed by others

References

  • Agnew, R., & Huguley, S. (1989). Adolescent violence towards parents. Journal of Marriage and Family, 51(3), 699–701.

    Google Scholar 

  • Avieli, H., Smeloy, Y., & Band-Winterstein, T. (2015). Departure scripts and life review of parents living with abusive adult children with mental disorder. Journal of Aging Studies, 34, 48–56.

    Google Scholar 

  • Band-Winterstein, T. (2015). Whose sufferng is this? Narratives of adult children and parents in long-term abusive relationships. Journal of Family Violence, 30, 123–133.

    Google Scholar 

  • Band-Winterstein, T., & Avieli, H. (2017). The Experience of Parenting a Child with Disability in Old Age. Journal of Nursing Scholarship, 49(4), 421–428.

    Google Scholar 

  • Band-Winterstein, T., Smeloy, Y., & Avieli, H. (2014). Shared reality of the abusive and the vulnerable: The experience of aging for parents living with abusive adult children coping with mental disorder. International Psychogeriatrics, 26(11), 1917–1927.

    Google Scholar 

  • Band-Winterstein, T., Avieli, H., & Smeloy, Y. (2018). Harmed? Harmful? Experiencing abusive adult children with mental disorder over the life course. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 31(5), 2598–2621.

    Google Scholar 

  • Beaulaurier, R. L., Seff, L. R., Newman, F. L., & Dunlop, B. (2007). External Barriers to Help Seeking for Older Women Who Experience Intimate Partner Violence. Journal of Family Violence, 22(8), 747.

    Google Scholar 

  • Berman, J., & Lachs, M. (2011). Under the Radar: New York State Elder Abuse Prevalence Study. New York: Lifespan of Greater Rochester.

    Google Scholar 

  • Block, M., & Sinnott, J. (1980). The battered elder syndrome: An exploratory study. College Park, MD: Center on Aging, University of Maryland.

    Google Scholar 

  • Brownell, P., & Heisler, D. (2006). Psycho-educational support groups for older women victims of family mistreatment. Journal of Gerontological Social Work, 46(3–4), 145–160.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Burnes, D., Rizzo, V., Gorroochum, P., Pollack, M., & Lachs, M. (2016). Understanding service utilization in cases of elder abuse to inform best practices. Journal of Applied Gerontology, 35(10), 1036–1057.

    Google Scholar 

  • Burkhardt, A., Rudorf, S., Brand, C., Rockstroh, B., Studer, K., Lettke, F., & Lüscher, K. (2007). Ambivalences in the relationship of parents towards their schizophrenic or substance dependent adult child: a comparison to their relationships with healthy siblings and to ordinary parent-child-relationships. Psychiatrische Praxis, 34(5), 230–238.

    Google Scholar 

  • Caplan, P., & Hall-McCorquodale, I. (1985). Mother-blaming in major clinical journals. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 55(3), 345–353.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Charmaz, K. (2014). Constructing grounded theory. New York: Sage.

    Google Scholar 

  • Clarke, K., Holt, A., Norris, C., & Nel, P. W. (2017). Adolescent-to-parent violence and abuse: Parents’ management of tension and ambiguity-an interpretative phenomenological analysis. Child & Family Social Work, 4, 1423.

    Google Scholar 

  • Cohen, M., Levin, S., Gagin, R., & Friedman, G. (2007). Elder abuse: Disparities between older people’s disclosure of abuse, evident signs of abuse, and high risk of abuse. JAGA, 55, 1224–1230.

    Google Scholar 

  • Cohler, B. J., Pickett, S. A., & Cook, J. A. (1991). The psychiatric patient grows older: Issues in family care. In E. Light, & B. D. Lebowitz (Eds.), The elderly with chronic mental illness (pp. 82–110). New York, NY: Springer Publishing Co.

    Google Scholar 

  • Connidis, I. (2014). Exploring ambivalence in family ties: Progress and prospects. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 77, 77–95.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Connidis, I. A. (2015). Exploring ambivalence in family ties: progress and prospects. Journal of Marriage & Family, 77(1), 77.

    Google Scholar 

  • Cook, J. A., Cohler, B. J., Pickett, S. A., & Beeler, J. A. (1997). Life-course and severe mental illness: implications for caregiving within the family of later life. Family Relations, 4, 427.

    Google Scholar 

  • Cottrell, B., & Monk, P. (2004). Adolescent-to-parent abuse: a qualitative overview of common themes. Journal of Family Issues, 25(8), 1072–1095.

    Google Scholar 

  • Dillaway, H. E. (2006). Good mothers never wane: mothering at menopause. Journal of Women & Aging, 18(2), 41–53.

    Google Scholar 

  • Elder, G. (1994). Human agency, and social change: Perspectives on the life course. Social Psychology Journal, 57(1), 4–15.

    Google Scholar 

  • Evans, E. D., & Warren-Sohlberg, L. (1988). a pattern analysis of adolescent abusive behavior toward parents. Journal of Adolescent Research, 3(2), 201–216.

    Google Scholar 

  • Fingerman, K. L., Pitzer, L., Lefkowitz, E. S., Birditt, K. S., & Mroczek, D. (2008). Ambivalent relationship qualities between adults and their parents: Implications for both parties’ well-being. Journal of Gerontology: Psychological Sciences, 63B, 362–371.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Funk, L., & Kobayashi, K. (2009). “Choice” in filial care work: Moving beyond a dichotomy. Canadian Sociological Association, 46(3), 235–252.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gans, D., & Silverstein, M. (2006). Norms of filial responsibility for aging parents across time and generations. Journal of Marriage and Family, 68, 961–976.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gary, A., & Arrendell, T. (2001). Children, work and family: Some thoughts on ‘mother blame’. In Working families: The transformation of the American Home (pp. 293–303). Berkeley: University of California Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Gibson Hunt, G., Greene, R., & Whiting, J. G. (2016). On pins and needles. In National Alliance for Caregivers, Washington D.C.

    Google Scholar 

  • Gilligan, M., Suitor, J., Feld, S., & Pillemer, K. (2015). Do positive feelings hurt? Disaggregating positive and negative components of intergenerational ambivalence. Journal of Marriage and Family, 77, 261–276.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Grigsby, N. H., & Hartman, B. (1997). The barriers model: An integrated strategy for intervention with battered women. Psychotherapy, 34(4), 485–497.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hagestad, G. O. (1986). Dimensions of time and the family. American Behavioral Scientist, 29, 679–694.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Harbin, H., & Madden, D. (1979). Battered parents: A new syndrome. American Journal of Psychiatry, 136, 1288–1291.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Hays, S. (1996). The cultural contradictions of motherhood. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Henderson, A., Harmon, S., & Newman, H. (2016). The price mothers pay, even when they are not buying it: mental health consequences of idealized motherhood. Sex Roles, 74, 512–526.

    Google Scholar 

  • Holt, A., & Retford, D. (2013). Practitioner accounts of responding to parent abuse – a case study in ad hoc delivery, perverse outcomes and a policy silence. Child and Family Social Work, 2013(18), 365–374.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Holt, A. (2016). Adolescent-to-parent abuse as a form of “Domestic Violence”. Trauma, Violence & Abuse, 17(5), 490–499.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hooyman, N., & Gonyea, J. (1995). Feminist perspective on family care: Police for gender justice (Vol. 6). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hunter, C., Nixon, J., & Parr, S. (2010). Mother abuse: a matter of youth justice, child welfare or domestic violence. Journal of Law and Society, 37, 264–284.

    Google Scholar 

  • Ibabe, I., & Jaureguizar, J. (2010). Child-to-parent violence: profile of abusive adolescents and their families. Journal of Criminal Justice, 38(4), 616–624.

    Google Scholar 

  • Jackson, D. M., & Mannix, D. (2004). Giving voice to the burden of blame: a feminist study of mothers’ experiences of mother blaming. International Journal of Mental Health Nursing, 10, 150–158.

    Google Scholar 

  • Kennair, N. M., & Mellor, D. (2007). Parent abuse: A review. Child Psychiatry and Human Development, 38, 203–219.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Killick, C., & Taylor, B. J. (2009). Professional decision-making on elder abuse: Systematic narrative review. Journal of Elder Abuse & Neglect, 21(3), 211–238.

    Google Scholar 

  • Kosberg, J. I., & Nahmiash, D. (1996). Characteristics of Victims & Perpetrators & Milieus of Abuse & Neglect (From Abuse, Neglect, & Exploitation of Older Persons: Strategies for Assessment & Intervention, P 31–49, 1996, Lorin A Baumhover & S Colleen Beall, eds. – See 163840). In, United States.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lachs, M., & Pillemer, K. (2015). Elder abuse. The New England Journal of Medicine, 373(20), 1947–1956.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lachs, M. S., Williams, C., O’Brien, S., Hurst, L., & Horowitz, R. (1997). Risk factors for reported elder abuse and neglect: A nine-year observational cohort study. Gerontologist, 37(4), 469–474.

    Google Scholar 

  • Laumann, E. O., Leitsch, S. A., & Waite, L. J. (2008). Elder mistreatment in the United States: Prevalence estimates from a nationally representative study. Journal of Gerontology, 63, 248–254.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Levitzki, N. (2009). Parenting of adult children in an Israel sample: Parents are always parents. Journal of Family Psychology, 23, 222–235.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Luescher, K., & Pillemer, K. (1998). Intergeneration ambivalence: A new approach to the study of parent-child relationships in later life. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 60, 413–425.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Lüscher, K. (2003). Conceptualizing and uncovering intergenerational ambivalence. Emerald Group Publishing Ltd.: Vol. 4, p 23-62.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lüscher, K. (2011). Ambivalence: A “sensitizing construct” for the study and practice of intergenerational relationships. Journal of Intergenerational Relationships, 9(2), 191–206.

    Google Scholar 

  • Newman, K. (2012). The accordion family. Boston: Beacon Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Nixon, J. (2012). Practitioner’s constructions of parent abuse. Social Policy & Society, 2, 229–239.

    Google Scholar 

  • O’Malley, H. C., Segel, H. D., & Perez, R. (1979). Elder abuse in Massachusetts: A survey of professionals and paraprofessionals. Boston: Legal Research and Service for the Elderly Block.

    Google Scholar 

  • O’Malley, H., Segars, H., Perez, R., Mitchell, V., & Kneupfel, G. M. (1984). Elder Abuse in Massachusetts – A Survey of Professionals & Paraprofeesionals (From Abuse of the Elderly, P 57–95, 1984, Joseph J Costa, ed. – See NCJ-95695). In, United States.

    Google Scholar 

  • Peek, C., Fischer, J., & Kidwell, J. (1985). Teenage Violence toward Parents: A Neglected Dimension of Family Violence. Journal of Marriage and Family, 47(4), 1051.

    Google Scholar 

  • Penhale, B. (1999). Bruises on the Soul: Older Women, Domestic Violence, and Elder Abuse. Journal of Elder Abuse and Neglect, 11(1), 1–22.

    Google Scholar 

  • Peters, C., Hooker, K., & Zvonkovic, A. (2006). Older parents’ perceptions of ambivalence in relationships with their children. Family Relations, 55, 539–551.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Pew Research Center. (2013). A rising share of young adults live in their parents’ home.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pillemer, K. (1985). The dangers of dependency: new findings on domestic violence against the elderly. Social Problems, 2, 146–158.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pillemer, K. (2004). Elder abuse is caused by the deviance and dependence of abusive caregivers. In D. Loseke, R. Gelles, & M. Cavanaugh (Eds.), Current controversies on family violence. Newbury Park: Sage.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pillemer, K., & Finkelhor, D. (1989). Causes of elder abuse: Caregiver stress versus problem relatives. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 59(2), 179–187.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pillemer, K., & Luscher, K. (2004). New perspectives on parent-child relations in later life. Elsevier Science: Amsterdam.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pillemer, K., & Suitor, J. J. (1991). “Will I ever escape my child’s problems?”: Effects of adult children’s problems on elderly parents. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 53, 585–594.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Pillemer, K., & Suitor, J. J. (2002). Explaining mothers’ ambivalence toward their adult children. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 64, 602–613.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Pillemer, K., & Suitor, J. (2004). Explaining mother’s ambivalence towards their adult children. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 64(3), 602–613.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pillemer, K., Burnes, D., Riffin, C., & Lachs, M. S. (2016). Elder abuse: Global situation, risk factors, and prevention strategies. The Gerontologist, 56(Suppl 2), S194–S205.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pillemer, K., Suitor, J. J., Mock, S., Sabir, M., Pardo, T., & Sechrist, J. (2007). Capturing the complexity of intergenerational relations: Exploring ambivalence within later-life families. Journal of Special Issues, 63(4), 775–791.

    Google Scholar 

  • Roberto, K. (2016). The complexities of elder abuse. American Psychologist, 71(4), 302–311.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Rossi, A. S., & Rossi, P. H. (1990). Of human bonding: parent-child relations across the life course. A. de Gruyter.

    Google Scholar 

  • Rotkirch, A. & Janhunen, K. (2010). Maternal guilt. Evolutionary Psychology, 8(1), 90–106.

    Google Scholar 

  • Routt, G., & Anderson, L. (2011). Adolescent Violence towards Parents. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 20(1), 1–19.

    Google Scholar 

  • Silverstein, M., Bengston, V. (1997). Intergenerational Solidarity and the Structure of Adult Child-Parent Relationships in American Families. American Journal of Sociology, 103(2), 429–447.

    Google Scholar 

  • Smith, J. R. (2012). Listening to older adult parents of adult children with mental illness. Journal of Family Social Work, 15, 126–140.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Smith, J. R. (2015). Expanding constructions of elder abuse: Older mother’s subjective experiences. Journal of Elder Abuse & Neglect, 27(4–5), 328–355.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Wolf, R. S., & Pillemer, K. (2000). Elder abuse and case outcome. Journal of Applied Gerontology, 19(2), 203–220.

    Google Scholar 

Download references

Author information

Authors and Affiliations

  1. School of Social Services, Fordham University, New York, NY, USA

    Judith R. Smith

Authors
  1. Judith R. Smith
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

Corresponding author

Correspondence to Judith R. Smith .

Editor information

Editors and Affiliations

  1. Institute on Violence, Abuse and Trauma, Alliant International University, San Diego, CA, USA

    Robert Geffner

  2. School of Health and Human Sciences, University of North Carolina at Greensbo, Greensboro, NC, USA

    Jacquelyn W. White

  3. Dept of Family and Community Medicine, Medical College of Wisconsin, Milwaukee, WI, USA

    L. Kevin Hamberger

  4. Department of Psychology, Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, IL, USA

    Alan Rosenbaum

  5. Ethelyn R. Strong School of Social Work, Norfolk State University, Norfolk, VA, USA

    Viola Vaughan-Eden

  6. Education and Research, Zero Abuse Project, St. Paul, MN, USA

    Victor I. Vieth

Section Editor information

  1. Global Health Care Center, Fordham University, New York, NY, USA

    Mary Beth Morrissey

  2. Professor of Medicine/Geriatrics, Psychiatry, Dentistry, Clinical Nursing, & Public Health Sciences, University of Rochester Medical Center, Rochester, New York, USA

    Thomas Caprio

  3. Medical College of Wisconsin, Milwaukee, WI, USA

    L. Kevin Hamberger

  4. Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, IL, USA

    Alan Rosenbaum

Rights and permissions

Reprints and permissions

Copyright information

© 2020 Springer Nature Switzerland AG

About this entry

Check for updates. Verify currency and authenticity via CrossMark

Cite this entry

Smith, J.R. (2020). Elder Abuse, Impaired Adult Child, and Maternal Identity. In: Geffner, R., White, J.W., Hamberger, L.K., Rosenbaum, A., Vaughan-Eden, V., Vieth, V.I. (eds) Handbook of Interpersonal Violence and Abuse Across the Lifespan. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-62122-7_280-1

Download citation

  • DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-62122-7_280-1

  • Received:

  • Accepted:

  • Published:

  • Publisher Name: Springer, Cham

  • Print ISBN: 978-3-319-62122-7

  • Online ISBN: 978-3-319-62122-7

  • eBook Packages: Springer Reference Behavioral Science and PsychologyReference Module Humanities and Social SciencesReference Module Business, Economics and Social Sciences

Publish with us

Policies and ethics

Chapter history

  1. Latest

    Mothers’ Perspectives on Abuse by Adult Children
    Published:
    17 December 2020

    DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-62122-7_280-2

  2. Original

    Elder Abuse, Impaired Adult Child, and Maternal Identity
    Published:
    08 October 2020

    DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-62122-7_280-1

Search

Navigation