Skip to main content
SpringerLink
Log in

Asymmetries in the Friendship Preferences and Social Styles of Men and Women

  • Published:
Human Nature Aims and scope Submit manuscript

Abstract

Several hypotheses on the form and function of sex differences in social behaviors were tested. The results suggest that friendship preferences in both sexes can be understood in terms of perceived reciprocity potential—capacity and willingness to engage in a mutually beneficial relationship. Divergent social styles may in turn reflect trade-offs between behaviors selected to maintain large, functional coalitions in men and intimate, secure relationships in women. The findings are interpreted from a broad socio-relational framework of the types of behaviors that facilitate selective advertisement and investment of reciprocity potential across individuals and within groups of men and women.

This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.

Access this article

Log in via an institution

Price excludes VAT (USA)
Tax calculation will be finalised during checkout.

Instant access to the full article PDF.

Institutional subscriptions

Fig. 1
Fig. 2

Similar content being viewed by others

References

  • Agrawal, A., Jacobson, K. C., Prescott, C. A., & Kendler, K. S. (2002). A twin study of sex differences in social support. Psychological Medicine, 32, 1155–1164.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Baumeister, R. F., & Sommer, K. L. (1997). What do men want? Gender differences and two spheres of belongingness: Comment on Cross and Madson. Psychological Bulletin, 122, 38–44.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Baron-Cohen, S., & Wheelwright, S. (2004). The empathy quotient: An investigation of adults with Asperger syndrome or high functioning autism, and normal sex differences. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 34, 163–175.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Benenson, J. F. (1993). Greater preference among females than males for dyadic interaction in early childhood. Child Development, 64, 544–555.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Benenson, J. F., & Christakos, A. (2003). The greater fragility of females’ versus males’ closest same-sex friendships. Child Development, 74, 1123–1129.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Benenson, J. F., Maiese, R., Dolenszky, E., Dolensky, N., Sinclair, N., & Simpson, A. (2002). Group size regulates self-assertive versus self-deprecating responses to interpersonal competition. Child Development, 73, 1818–1829.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Ben-Ner, A., Putterman, L., Kong, F., & Magan, D. (2004). Reciprocity in a two-part dictator game. Journal of Economic Behavior and Organization, 53, 333–352.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Cacioppo, J. T., & Bernston, G. G. (2001). Social neuroscience. In W. E. Craighead, & C. B. Nemeroff (Eds.), The Corsini encyclopedia of psychology and behavioral science (pp. 1568–1569). New York: Wiley.

    Google Scholar 

  • Challman, R. C. (1932). Factors influencing friendships among preschool children. Child Development, 3, 146–158.

    Google Scholar 

  • Chen, X., Li, D., Li, Z., Li, B., & Liu, M. (2000). Sociable and prosocial dimensions of social competence in chinese children: Common and unique contributions to social, academic, and psychological adjustment. Developmental Psychology, 36, 302–314.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Cheng, S., & Chan, A. C. M. (1999). Sex, competitiveness, and intimacy in same-sex friendships in Hong Kong adolescents. Psychological Reports, 84, 45–48.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Cohen, J., & Cohen, P. (Eds.) (1983). Applied multiple regression/correlation analysis for the behavioral sciences (2nd ed.). Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

    Google Scholar 

  • Cole, T., & Teboul, J. C. B. (2004). Non-zero-sum collaboration, reciprocity, and the preference for similarity: Developing and adaptive model of close relational functioning. Personal Relationships, 11, 135–160.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Cross, S. E., & Madson, L. (1997). Models of the self: Self-construals and gender. Psychological Bulletin, 122, 5–37.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Daly, M., & Wilson, M. (Eds.) (1988). Homicide. New York: Aldine de Gruyter.

    Google Scholar 

  • Darwin, C. (1871). The descent of man, and selection in relation to sex. London: John Murray.

    Google Scholar 

  • de Waal, F. B. M. (1993). Sex differences in chimpanzee (and human) behavior: A matter of social values? In M. Hechter, L. Nadel, & R. E. Michod (Eds.), The origin of values (pp. 285–303). New York: Aldine de Gruyter.

    Google Scholar 

  • de Waal, F. B. M. (2000). Primates: A natural heritage of conflict resolution. Science, 290, 1096–1097.

    Google Scholar 

  • Erwin, P. G., Firth, K., & Purves, D. G. (2004). Task characteristics and performance in interpersonal cognitive problem solving. Journal of Psychology, 138, 185–191.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Geary, D. C. (Ed.) (1998). Male, female: The evolution of human sex differences. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

    Google Scholar 

  • Geary, D. C. (2002). Sexual selection and sex differences in social cognition. In A. V. McGillicuddy-De Lisi, & R. De Lisi (Eds.), Biology, society, and behavior: The development of sex differences in cognition (pp. 23–53). Greenwich, CT: Ablex/Greenwood.

    Google Scholar 

  • Geary, D. C. (2005). The origin of the mind: Evolution of brain, cognition, and general intelligence. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

    Google Scholar 

  • Geary, D. C., Byrd-Craven, J., Hoard, M. K., Vigil, J., & Numtee, C. (2003). Evolution and development of boys’ social behavior. Developmental Review, 23, 444–470.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Geary, D. C., & Flinn, M. V. (2002). Sex differences in behavioral and hormonal response to social threat: Commentary on Taylor et al. (2000). Psychological Review, 109, 745–750.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Geary, D. C., Vigil, J., & Byrd-Craven, J. (2004). Evolution of human mate choice. Journal of Sex Research, 41, 27–42.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Hamilton, W. D. (1964). The genetical evolution of social behaviour, II. Journal of Theoretical Biology, 7, 17–52.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Hammer, M. F., Karafet, T. M., Redd, A. J., Jarjanazi, H., Santachiara-Benerecetti, S., Soodyall, H., et al. (2001). Hierarchical patterns of global human Y-chromosome diversity. Molecular Biology and Evolution, 18, 1189–1203.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hartup, W. W. (1996). The company they keep: Friendships and their developmental significance. Child Development, 67, 1–13.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Hartup, W. W., & Stevens, N. (1997). Friendships and adaptation in the life course. Psychological Bulletin, 121, 355–370.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Hemelrijk, C. K., & Gygax, L. (2004). Dominance style, differences between the sexes and species. Interaction Studies, 5, 131–146.

    Google Scholar 

  • Jarvinen, D. W., & Nicholls, J. G. (1996). Adolescents’ social goals, beliefs about causes of social success, and satisfaction in peer relations. Developmental Psychology, 32, 435–441.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Jennings, K. D., Curry, N. E., & Connors, R. (2001). Toddlers’ social behaviors in dyads and groups. Journal of Genetic Psychology, 147, 515–528.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Kurzban, R. (2001). The social psychophysics of cooperation: Nonverbal communication in a public goods game. Journal of Nonverbal Behaviors, 25, 241–259.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Lazarsfeld, P. F., & Merton, R. K. (1954). Friendship as a social process: A substantive and methodological analysis. In M. Berger (Ed.), Freedom and control in modern society (pp. 8–66). New York: Van Nostrand.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lever, J. (1976). Sex differences in the games children play. Social Problems, 23, 478–487.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Lever, J. (1978). Sex differences in the complexity of children’s play and games. American Sociological Review, 43, 471–483.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Lusk, J., MacDonald, K., & Newman, J. R. (1998). Resource appraisals among self, friend and leader: Implications for an evolutionary perspective on individual differences. Personality and Individual Differences, 24, 685–700.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • MacDonald, K. (Ed.) (1988). Social and personality development: An evolutionary synthesis. New York: Plenum.

    Google Scholar 

  • McElwain, N. L., & Volling, B. L. (2002). Relating individual control, social understanding, and gender to child–friend interaction: A relationship perspective. Social Development, 11, 362–385.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • McHale, S. M., Shanahan, L., Updegraff, K. A., Crouter, A. C., & Booth, A. (2004). Developmental and individual differences in girls’ sex-typed activities in middle childhood and adolescence. Child Development, 75, 1575–1593.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Murdock, G. P. (1981). Atlas of world cultures. Pittsburgh: University of Pittsburgh Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Oswald, D. L., Clark, E. M., & Kelly, C. M. (2004). Friendship maintenance: An analysis of individual and Dyad behaviors. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23, 413–441.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Pasternak, B., Ember, C. R., & Ember, M. (Eds.) (1997). Sex, gender, and kinship: A cross-cultural perspective. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall.

    Google Scholar 

  • Rodkin, P. C., Farmer, T. W., Pearl, R., & Van Acker, R. (2000). Heterogeneity of popular boys: Antisocial and prosocial configurations. Developmental Psychology, 36, 14–24.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Rose, A. J., & Asher, S. R. (2004). Children’s strategies and goals in response to help-giving and help-seeking tasks within a friendship. Child Development, 75, 749–763.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Rose, A. J., & Rudolph, K. D. (2006). A review of sex differences in peer relationship processes: Potential trade-offs for the emotional and behavioral development of girls and boys. Psychological Bulletin, 132, 98–131.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Rubin, K. H., Bukowski, W., & Parker, J. G. (1998). Peer interactions, relationships, and groups. In W. Damon, & N. Eisenberg (Eds.), Social, emotional, and personality development. Handbook of child psychology (Vol. 3) (pp. 619–700). New York: Wiley.

    Google Scholar 

  • Savin-Williams, R. C. (Ed.) (1987). Adolescence: An ethological perspective. New York: Springer-Verlag.

    Google Scholar 

  • Seielstad, M. T., Minch, E., & Cavalli-Sforza, L. L. (1998). Genetic evidence for a higher female migration rate in humans. Nature Genetics, 20, 278–280.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Semino, O., Passarino, G., Oefner, P. J., Lin, A. A., Arbuzova, S., Beckman, L. E., et al. (2000). The genetic legacy of paleolithic Homo sapiens in extant Europeans: A Y-chromosome perspective. Science, 290, 1155–1159.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Sheets, V. L., & Luger, R. (2005). Friendship and gender in Russia and the United States. Sex Roles, 52, 131–140.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Strough, J., & Covatto, A. M. (2002). Context and age differences in same- and other-gender peer preferences. Social Development, 11, 346–361.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Sullivan, H. S. (Ed.) (1953). An interpersonal theory of psychiatry. New York: Norton.

    Google Scholar 

  • Sy, S. R., DeMeis, D. K., & Scheinfield, R. E. (2003). Pre-school children’s understanding of the emotional consequences for failures to act prosocially. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 21, 259–272.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Taylor, S. E., Klein, L. C., Lewis, B. P., Gruenewald, T. L., Gurung, R. A. R., & Updegraff, J. A. (2000). Biobehavioral responses to stress in females: Tend-and-befriend, not fight-or-flight. Psychological Review, 107, 411–429.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Tesser, A. (1991). Emotion in social comparisons and reflections processes. In J. Suls, & T. A. Wills (Eds.), Social comparisons. Contemporary theory and research (pp. 115–145). Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

    Google Scholar 

  • Tooby, J., & Cosmides, L. (1996). Friendship and the Banker’s paradox: Other pathways to the evolution of adaptations for altruism. Proceedings of the British Academy, 88, 119–143.

    Google Scholar 

  • Trivers, R. L. (1971). The evolution of reciprocal altruism. Quarterly Review of Biology, 46, 35–57.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Trivers, R. L. (2000). The elements of a scientific theory of self-deception. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 907, 1–19.

    Google Scholar 

  • Vigil, J. M., Geary, D. C., & Byrd-Craven, J. (2006). Trade-offs in low income women’s preferences: Within-sex differences in reproductive strategy. Human Nature, 17, 319–336.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Warden, D., & MacKinnon, S. (2003). Prosocial children, bullies and victims: An investigation of their sociometric status, empathy and social problem-solving strategies. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 21, 367–385.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Wells, R. S., Yuldasheva, N., Ruzibakiev, R., Underhill, P. A., Evseeva, I., Blue-Smith, J., et al. (2001). The Eurasian heartland: A continental perspective on Y-chromosome diversity. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences USA, 98, 10244–10249.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • West, S. A., Pen, I., & Griffin, A. S. (2002). Cooperation and competition between relatives. Science, 296, 72–75.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Zarbatany, L., Conley, R., & Pepper, S. (2004). Personality and gender differences in friendship needs and experiences in preadolescence and young adulthood. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 28, 299–310.

    Article  Google Scholar 

Download references

Acknowledgements

Special appreciation is extended to David Geary, who made a significant contribution to this article. I would also like to thank Amanda Rose for comments on an earlier draft, and Patricia Vigil and John Oxford for help with various aspects of this project.

Author information

Authors and Affiliations

  1. Department of Psychology, University of North Florida, 4567 St. John’s Bluff Road, South Jacksonville, FL, 32224-2673, USA

    Jacob M. Vigil

Authors
  1. Jacob M. Vigil
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

Corresponding author

Correspondence to Jacob M. Vigil.

Rights and permissions

Reprints and permissions

About this article

Cite this article

Vigil, J.M. Asymmetries in the Friendship Preferences and Social Styles of Men and Women. Hum Nat 18, 143–161 (2007). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12110-007-9003-3

Download citation

  • Published:

  • Issue Date:

  • DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s12110-007-9003-3

Keywords

Search

Navigation