Pray for Improvement: Experiences with Mediation of Female Victims of Intimate Partner Violence in Nigeria

This study examines victims’ experiences with informal mediation conducted by Catholic priests and nuns in Nigeria. Interviews were conducted with 20 women who sought help from priests and nuns as they had experienced intimate partner violence. Their expectations before and experiences during and after this mediation were explored. Findings suggest that the level of intimate partner violence experienced by victims remains high, and in most cases their expectations of the mediation are not sufficiently met. Most priests and nuns tend to convince victims to forgive their husband and accept their situation while reinstating the patriarchal mentality without any sustainable improvement. Most victims report revictimization episodes after mediation. Implications for theory and practice of mediation by religious leaders are discussed.


Introduction
Intimate partner violence (IPV) against women is a global problem with epidemic proportions in many African countries, including Nigeria (Ajayi et al., 2022;Balogun & John-Akinola, 2015;Renzetti et al., 2018).Most common forms of intimate partner violence against women in Nigeria are physical violence, including slapping (77%), kicking (40%), and verbal abuse such as shouting (93%) (Abdullahi et al., 2017;Dim, 2018).Recent research shows that 80% of cases of IPV occur due to excessive control over women by the perpetrators (Abdullahi et al., 2017).
In Nigeria, social, cultural, and religious norms perpetuate female submission and reflect "structural violence" with male dominance over women.Women are expected to obey and conform to social expectations (Gardsbane et al., 2022;Zust et al., 2017).Additionally, the traditional payment of a marriage dowry or bride price reinforces such social expectations and male dominance over women.This is still a common practice that invariably subjects women to the authority and control of their husbands (Ajayi et al., 2022;Olayanju et al., 2013;Princewill et al., 2019).Any resistance or opposition to such male power and control can result in more violence against women (Ajayi et al., 2022;Nwabunike & Tenkorage, 2017).
In many African societies, access to justice in cases of IPV remains highly problematic.This is due to patriarchalism and a culture of silence that create barriers to helpseeking (Ajayi et al., 2022;Anitha & Gill, 2022).There is also the problem of minimal legal opportunities for women to receive help and support from official institutions (Kalunta-Crumpton, 2017;Tenkorang et al., 2017).Therefore, informal help (informal mediation) can be of great importance, and this role is usually taken up by religious leaders such as Catholic priests and nuns.However, there is no clear methodology on how to conduct such informal mediation when it comes to ending IPV and meeting the needs of victims.To our knowledge, there are no studies that analyze victims' perceptions of informal interventions done by religious leaders (more specifically, by Catholic priests and nuns).To interpret the methods of informal mediation by religious leaders, it is important to take into account the values and norms of the specific religion with regard to intimate relations, marriage, violence, and divorce as this might impact the approach taken.The theoretical framework therefore addresses this topic.
The intervention of religious people in family issues is common in underdeveloped countries, mainly in rural areas, but has been little investigated.Some related studies in this area focus on the pastoral care and counseling of victims (Ademiluka, 2019;Akangbe Tomisin, 2020;Neergaard et al., 2007;Odeleye, 2019;Tedder & Smith, 2018).A broader knowledge of comparable interventions is crucial to develop better practices and enhance victims' satisfaction and experiences.
To provide an overview of victims' experiences of IPV, their expectations and experiences with the (informal) mediation by Catholic priests and nuns, their evaluation of the mediation agreement, if one is reached, as well as their experiences after the mediation, we undertook in this study.The following research questions guided this investigation: 1. What kinds and intensity of IPV are experienced by victims who seek help?2. What expectations do victims have of mediation?3. How do victims perceive the process of mediation?4. How do victims evaluate the agreement reached in mediation? 5. What are the long-term consequences of mediation for the victims, and are there indications of revictimization?
In what follows, we focus on the terminology used in previous research to describe the nature of IPV and mediation so as to gain insight into victims' perceptions of informal mediation.In the results section, the research questions described above are

Formal and informal mediation in cases of IPV
Formal mediation involves a neutral and professional third party who seeks to guide conflicting parties through the process of mediation to reach an agreement acceptable to both parties.In cases of IPV, such mediation can be provided by outsiders, such as courtannexed mediators, social workers, therapists, or lawyers who specialize in mediation in IPV cases (Goodson & Hayes, 2018;Mahenge & Stöckl, 2021).Access to such mediators can be by reference, for example, at the point of contact with police or a court, who might refer to mediation.One can also access them through direct connections, lawyers, or other third parties who encourage victims to seek help from a mediator.This is typically a regulated process to which both parties, the victim and the perpetrator, have to agree (Boniface, 2012;Mahenge & Stöckl, 2021;Raines & Indovina, 2020).
There is an extensive debate about the appropriateness of mediation in the context of IPV.Most scholars argue that screening is an essential tool used during mediation to detect coercive control, power imbalance, and threat.A coercive-controlling perpetrator might use threats to suppress the victims' interests during mediation.Mediation is considered unethical when this is the case (Ballard et al., 2011).Raines and Indovina (2020) recently argued that there is a limit to which screening might be productive in mediation.Irrespective of the debate on the safety of the victims, these scholars claim that mediation in IPV is still beneficial to victims and perpetrators if they are willing to engage in such a formal mediation process.
Informal mediation is typically done by third parties who have a connection to the conflicting parties and feel a social or moral obligation to help.In traditional societies, one's status often determines the responsibility to mediate, and this often falls on the head of a family or on a doctor, teacher, community leader or religious leader (Latta and Goodman, 2011;Mahenge & Stöckl, 2021).Usually, this form of mediation is carried out without professional training in mediation or conflict management with the goal of restoring peace and harmony in a marriage and/or family (Neergaard et al., 2007).
The cultural settings and norms in which most victims find themselves determine the possibility of their accessing mediation and their willingness to seek third-party help (Ajayi et al., 2022;Gardsbane et al., 2022;Golriz & Miner, 2021;Zust et al., 2017).As Mahenge and Stöckl (2021, p. 234) mention, "habitus" plays a crucial role in help-seeking behavior in IPV.Most women may consider mediation useless and even risky given the existing social norms related to male dominance, and this may result in the acceptance and even justification of violence against them.Indeed, only one in three victims of IPV in Nigeria seeks help from informal third parties, and almost none (1.9 percent) seek it from formal mediators (Tenkorang et al., 2017).
Generally, the Catholic Church supports an equal gender role in marriage as a foundation of the marital relation.Men might be mentioned as head of the family, however, this is defined as a serving role and does not contradict the equality of men and women.A second important pillar of the Catholic view on marriage is the freedom of both partners to engage in the marriage.The Catholic Church does not formally recognize divorce but acknowledges that separation of married couples may be necessary, especially if the wellbeing of a spouse or children is threatened.There are no specific directives and guidelines for what these principles imply in a patriarchal society such as Nigeria (Ademiluka, 2019;Code of Canon Law, n.d.;Pope John Paul II, 1995).Boyer et al. (2022) and Neergaard et al. (2007) argued that counseling in cases of IPV in such a context is one of the most challenging parts of pastoral care because of the nature of the issue and the religious and societal norms which the religious leaders are involved in developing.The conservative view on divorce might put women more in danger, compared to a more liberal view (Simister & Kowalewska, 2016).Moreso, priests and nuns in Nigeria receive training on vocational development (theology or philosophy), but they do not receive any training on counseling or mediation in cases of IPV.In resolving issues of IPV, these religious leaders use their training in vocational development to listen to and counsel the conflicting parties (Dankasa, 2015(Dankasa, , 2016;;Eze et al., 2013;Tedder & Smith, 2018).
Victims' expectations of mediation interventions by Catholic priests and nuns.
In Nigeria, most potential third parties who might serve as mediators are religious leaders, who are respected for their spiritual position and typically trusted enough to confide in.Nigeria is a highly religious country, with an almost 50% Christian and nearly 50% Muslim population (Dowd, 2016;Odok, 2020).The two religions hold different views of the position of women in society and family life.In both, religious leaders play an essential role as informal mediators in all conflicts, whether community, social, or personal (Dowd, 2016;Golriz & Miner, 2021;Odok, 2020).Therefore, the preference for a faith-based mediator to address IPV is explained by this tradition in Nigerian society of weekly attendance at church and seeing religious leaders as highly influential (Christensen et al., 2017).Our focus is on how informal mediation functions within the Nigerian Christian circle and specifically within the Catholic Church, which is one of the largest Christian groups in Nigeria.As mentioned earlier, the Catholic Church in Nigeria offers general training in pastoral care to its religious leaders, but-to the best of our knowledge-it offers no specialized training on how to counsel or mediate in IPV cases (Dankasa, 2016;Eze et al., 2013;Mudge et al., 2021;Neergaard et al., 2007;Zust et al., 2017).
In Nigeria, as in many societies, it is taboo to either discuss family secrets with third parties or to report abuse to authorities or formal mediators.Therefore, victims rely primarily on informal mediators, such as priests and nuns, for help.They view priests and nuns as counselors, therapists, and moral guides (Ademiluka, 2019;Neergaard et al., 2007).The expectations of victims are based on the assumption that their religious leaders will act not upon patriarchal cultural norms but upon Christian values of respect and nonviolence and the expectation that these religious leaders have the authority to talk to the perpetrator and be listened to.For these reasons, victims expect priests and nuns to provide permanent solutions to their problems (Ajayi et al., 2022;Goodson & Hayes, 2018;Olakunle, 2014;Tenkorang et al., 2017).An important question, therefore, is to what extent religious leaders who act as a third party in cases of IPV are familiar with the value of gender equality in marriage and are sensitive to the real needs of victims.Do these informal mediators aim to foster dialogue and forms of transformation in the marital relationship, or do they opt for a normative and evaluative approach based on patriarchal beliefs, giving directives to the conflicting parties?

Victims' experiences during mediation
Theorists of conflict resolution and reconciliation propose that victims of violence have a need to tell their stories, referring to the disclosing process of victims (Raines & Choi, 2016).However, this disclosure might be risky in Nigeria for several reasons.First, the revelation of IPV does not align with the culturally accepted norms about family secrets.Second, and due to the former, nuns and priests may negatively evaluate or judge a victim's behavior, generating further emotional harm or revictimization.Third, victims' voices, concerns, and needs might not be well represented by the priests and nuns, resulting in poor mediation outcomes and new cycles of IPV (Drumm et al., 2018;Zust et al., 2017).
According to Drumm et al. (2018) and Dyer (2010), priests and nuns, at best, might try to assist victims in expressing their feelings and providing counsel and advice on dealing with their problems.An essential expectation in this respect is that victims can talk in confidence and be approached with empathy by the mediators and that the mediator will also protect their interests.Priests and nuns might also speak to the perpetrators informally and separately or invite the victim and perpetrator to a joint meeting.They also might try to solve the problem through force, imposing a solution and favoring either the victim or the perpetrator or finding a compromise agreement (Bollen et al., 2013).
During the process of mediation, a victim might interpret the behavior or strategy of the priest or nun as partial and unsatisfactory (Gerkin, 2012).Victims are often the vulnerable, less powerful, and more emotional party and are likely to suppress their interests and concerns, making their voices not heard during the mediation (De Mesmaecker, 2013;Goodson & Hayes, 2018;Tenkorang et al., 2017;Wiggert et al., 2015).

Reaching a mediation agreement
Research indicates two ways in which compliance in an agreement between victims and perpetrators can be viewed (Raines & Choi, 2016).First, in a mediation with an asymmetrical power base between parties, high-power parties tend to coerce lower parties into reaching an agreement.These agreements are usually in favor of the parties with more power.Second, mediators chosen based on their common belonging to a church community may sometimes initiate or impose a settlement on victims, for example through moral appeal, referring to shared values and norms.These mediators use an evaluative model or even more assertive mediation roles to derive their goal of imposing a settlement upon the victims (Raines & Choi, 2016;Rossi et al., 2015).
These two ways of generating compliance between victims and perpetrators are typical in informal mediation as the third party has often a personal interest, which is to restore harmony between the conflicting parties and also in the extended group or community.As mentioned earlier, when a mediating priest or nun favors or sides with one party (the perpetrator), there is a tendency to coerce or force the victim to apologize to the perpetrator, which in a way reinforces the dangers of patriarchy.This is often used to restore peace in a long-term relationship like marriage or family (Zhang et al., 2020).Given the strong power position of perpetrators in this patriarchal context, victims might perceive that the perpetrators might not comply with the mediation agreement since in many cases male perpetrators have more power than women and are free to act and behave out of their own discretion and preferences.In such cases, the perpetrators have the liberty to comply or not comply with the mediation agreement (Choi et al., 2013;Gardsbane et al., 2022).

Long-term mediation effects, including revictimization
Many scholars assert that there is a possibility of exposing a victim to more violence after a mediation process where a perpetrator refuses to comply with the agreement.Perpetrators might take advantage of the information gathered or shared during the mediation to harm or revictimize the victims (Gardsbane et al., 2022;Putz et al., 2012).Research on the British Crime Survey shows that two-thirds of victims of domestic violence are revictimized within a year (Iverson et al., 2013).Revictimization is generally a significant problem; it refers to a criminal act of engaging in repeated violence against victims at a much higher rate (Kuijpers et al., 2012).
Whether or not victims intend to continue in the relationship with the perpetrators, the main distinguishing characteristic of revictimization is that victims are at risk and are exposed to further violence at the end of the mediation process.This is because of sociocultural and economic reasons, especially with regard to compensatory measures (houses, money, safety, etc.), which victims lack at the individual level (Alemede & Olajumoke, 2018;Balogun & John-Akinola, 2015;Gardsbane et al., 2022;Nwabunike & Tenkorage, 2017;Rasool, 2015).When victims reveal violence, this might be held against them, given cultural beliefs about the family that consider family secrets private (Adeyinka et al., 2013;Dim & Ogunye, 2017;Dim & Olayinka, 2019;Gardsbane et al., 2022;Okenwa-Emegwa et al., 2016).
Revictimization is based on dominance and control.On the one hand, perpetrators revictimize victims because they still want to gain power and authority over the victims.On the other hand, the victims depend on the perpetrators and are afraid of abandonment.For these reasons, the victims often remain in the relationship believing that the situation will improve and that the perpetrators will change their behavior (Ajayi et al., 2022;Gardsbane et al., 2022).By so doing, they engage in different mechanisms of coping such as disengagement.Disengagement consists of wishful thinking, eliciting social support, problem avoidance, and selfcriticism.Victims in our context use silence or intensified spirituality to reduce their experience of inevitable painful emotions.This leads to revictimization (Aborisade & Shontan, 2017;Akanle et al., 2018;Eromonsele, 2018;Iverson et al., 2013;Kuijpers et al., 2012;Linos et al., 2014;Tenkorang et al., 2017;Zust et al., 2017).
In summary, in this study we explore experiences of female victims of IPV who seek help from religious leaders through the mediation process.What are their expectations of such mediation, how do they experience the mediation process and the agreement, and what are the longer-term effects?

Method
The study was conducted using a qualitative phenomenological method focusing on the participants' experiences to understand and interpret the meaning ascribed to mediation in the context of IPV.A phenomenological approach is particularly relevant when exploring participants' understanding of mediation in the context of domestic violence and its consequences (Smith, 2011).The researchers were guided by the principle of reflexivity; they acknowledged their biases and approached the study in such a way to ensure the participants' lived experiences were presented optimally.These biases are the researchers' preconceived assumptions about victims' experiences within the patriarchal society (Reid et al., 2018).

Ethical procedure
All victims were willing to share their experience of abuse and mediation with the first author.In all cases, the victims expressed themselves unreservedly.This was because they believed and trusted that the first author would protect their "secret" and would not betray them.Consent forms were signed by all participants.The interviews were conducted in parish rectories and convents in private rooms to ensure privacy, prevent exposure, and ensure confidentiality of the information.
The primary researcher-who is native and is herself a Catholic nun from Nigeriawas at the time a PhD student at the University of Seville (Spain), and she therefore applied for ethical approval in Spain before conducting the study.Ethical approval was granted by the Junta de Andalucía, Spain, which is the legal authority for all ethical approvals for academic research (Reference PSI2015-64894-P).Secondly, the primary researcher proposed the research to the leadership of her religious congregation, with full disclosure, to obtain permission for this research, which was granted.Thirdly, the Archbishop of the Catholic Archdiocese of Abuja (the leader of the archdiocese in which the research was conducted) was also contacted, and the study was approved.Participants were offered a referral to a women's empowerment center for professional help after the interview.

Research procedure
The study used a purposive sampling consisting of 20 victims of domestic violence who were willing to share their story.We aimed to talk to women of different parishes, ages, educational levels, and ethnic groups.The study participants were recruited via announcements in church in five different Catholic parishes in the city of Abuja, Nigeria.The purpose was to find women who had experienced IPV in their marriage and who had reported their experiences to either a priest or a nun (an informal mediator).
To maximize the safety of the participants, the following procedure was performed.The first author initially contacted priests and nuns from five different parishes seeking permission for announcements to be made during Sunday Masses about the study.Upon granting the requests, the announcements were made.Afterwards, potential participants indicated their interest by privately providing their contact information to the first author.She contacted each respondent individually and explained the purpose of the study in detail.If the women agreed, a suitable time and place for the interview was set up where the participant would feel most comfortable.
Participants All participants were still married and had participated in mediation for three to seven months before joining the study.From the total of 20 participants, 9 had met with nuns for mediation while 11 had sought help from priests.The participants' age ranged from 25 to 45 years, and all were married with children.Women from four ethnic groups participated: Igbo, Hausa, Yoruba, and Edo.Their education level varied greatly, with 11 of them having a primary education, two having received higher education without a university degree, and seven holding a university degree.Four were employed in public and government organizations, three of the victims were self-employed, and others were unemployed.However, irrespective of their social status, they were all expected by their culture to perform the domestic chores as nurturers of the family.All cases had ended in some form of mediation agreement between victims, perpetrators, and mediators.Most of these agreements (19) were done orally, without written documentation.The average interview length was 45 min, with a range of 35 to 70 min.

Research tools
Data collection was performed through semistructured interviews with the victims of domestic violence.The language of the data collection was English, which is the official language in Nigeria and was used by most of the participants (18 out of 20).Two participants used Igbo (an ethnic language) and English interchangeably because of their lack of fluency in English.Open questions were asked of participants about their experience with mediation using an interview guide that included five content categories: (a) the abuse by their spouse, (b) their expectations of the mediation, (c) their experiences with the mediation process, (d) their experiences with the mediation agreement, and (e) their experiences after the mediation.The interviews were digitally voice-recorded and transcribed.

Data analysis
The first author translated those sections where the two participants used Igbo in the original interview into English.The discussions were attentively listened to and transcribed.The data analysis was performed using an interpretative phenomenological approach.This analysis allowed identifying and utilizing unexpected themes from the transcribed data.Also, this allowed us to explore the patterns in relations between experiences of domestic violence and experiences of mediation (Smith, 2011;Smith et al., 2009).The researchers followed the four stages of interpretative phenomenology to analyze the data.These four stages are (a) multiple readings and making of notes, (b) transforming notes into emergent themes, (c) seeking relationships and clustering themes, and (d) writing up the final results (Pietkiewicz & Smith, 2012).In the first stage, the researchers read and reread the transcribed data thoroughly several times, making meanings out of the data, while notes were taken from the transcribed data.In the second stage, the researchers focused more on the notes that were taken from the transcribed data, and 10 emerging themes such as "patriarchalism," "compliance," and "revictimization" were listed after combining each researcher's analysis of the data.In the third stage, similar or consistent themes were grouped into clusters.We identified five major themes from the clusters of themes.The written work was produced in the final stage.Through this analysis, we were able to identify differences in how victims described their experiences of IPV and how they had experienced the process and the outcome of the mediation performed by priests or nuns.

Results
We present results using the main themes we discussed in the introduction: victims' (experience of domestic violence, (2) expectations of the mediation, (3) experiences during the mediation, and (4) evaluation of the agreement and degree of compliance, as well as (5) long-term effects of the mediation on the victims.

Victims' experiences of domestic violence
Victims reported that they seek mediation primarily because of grievous forms of physical, emotional, and sexual violence against them.This violence varied from hitting, punching, or slapping (physical abuse), verbal exploitation or insults, forced intercourse, disconnection from family members, to monitoring.In all cases, the perpetrators used violence to maintain control and stability in the family and to make victims loyal and submissive to them.The following claims were reported by the victims.

Physical violence
Most victims (16 out of 20) claimed that their husbands had physically assaulted them.They mentioned that the perpetrators inflicted physical pain on them for questioning their (the perpetrators') authority, behavior, demands, or position as the head of the family.One of the victims stated: This guy beats me to stupor for questioning his action and asking him to be responsible.While he was beating me, he kept on saying, "I am a free man, and you don't have the right to question me."This has become his anthem habit ever since I confronted him, even before my kids.(Victim 6) Emotional abuse Most victims (18 out of 20) mentioned that their husbands emotionally abused them.They claimed that their husbands used insults, accusations, or deprivation of specific resources to make them feel inferior about themselves.As one victim stated: What annoys me most is that he ignores me and insults me, saying that I am the cause of his failure in business; that he was doing well before I came into his life (malice).He says I'm a witch because I am eating up my male children, so I cannot have a male child.His family members are also against me for not producing a male child.(Victim 8) Sexual abuse A few victims (2 out of 20) claimed their husbands violated them sexually by forcing intercourse against their consent.One victim reported: The only time he is in a good mood is whenever he wants to have sex with me.Since I noticed that, I tried to refuse because his behavior is putting me off, but he will forcefully have his way if I try resisting him.I sustained these scars on my body due to his advancement towards me.(Victim 18) Disconnection from family members and monitoring Victims reported that their perpetrators also demonstrated patriarchalism or male dominance through isolating them from family members and friends and monitoring them.Some victims (6 out of 20) claimed that the perpetrator isolated them from their family members and monitored their movements, phone calls, and interactions or associations with other people.One victim stated: My husband seized my SIM (line) card because he feels my family members influence me.He prevented me from having direct contact with them.If any of my family members wants to speak with me, they call his phone, and he will place the call on the loudspeaker so that he listens to my conversations with them.(Victim 5)

Seeking help from priests or nuns
In 15 of the 20 cases, the woman, the victim of abuse, approached a priest or nun for help.In five cases, it was the husband (the perpetrator) who initiated the informal mediation by contacting a priest or nun.According to the interviewed women, the main reason perpetrators did this was to control women, change their behavior, restore peace, and prevent their marital problems becoming further known in the community.

Victims' expectations of the mediation
Victims sought help from a priest or a religious nun who could act as a counselor, therapist, and mediator as these were the only persons they believed they could talk with confidentially.They claimed that the culture demanded perseverance and silence from them and mentioned that the perpetrators abused them when they disclosed or shared their problems with a third party, either a neighbor or a relative.One victim stated: The younger brother (of my husband) wanted to have sex with me, and I resisted him, and he thought I would report him to his brother.So, he went ahead to tell my husband that I was seducing his friend.Knowing my husband, I reported his brother's advances toward me to a neighbor I call a mother, my two friends, and my parish priest.We had a disagreement one day, and he said that he was aware that I was seducing his friend.I was surprised; then I told him to ask those I had told about the issue.He turned and gave me a sound slap and started beating me for telling outsiders about his family affair.(Victim 2) Victims claimed that they had high expectations that the priests or nuns would reconcile, restore peace to their home, make the perpetrators stop their abusive behavior, and provide solutions for their problems rather than share the same mental model as the perpetrators.One victim stated that "the aim was to talk to him to be more responsible and to stop torturing me psychologically because I am dying inside" (Victim 8).Another victim said: Yes, I shared my experience to the priests here (Frs.J & R).They are aware of the case and they are trying to help me.The mediation didn't really help, because he keeps on repeating it and one of the priests (Fr.R) is tired of the case.(Victim 1) Victim 3 reported, "Yes, I spoke to our priests because a reverend sister advised me to do that, since he (my husband) has high respect for them" (Victim 3).

Victims' experiences of the mediation process
The mediation process is similar for most women.After the first contact asking for help, the priest or nun invites both partners (wife and husband) to a joint meeting.The priest or nun usually mediates alone.There were no cases in which two persons mediated, let 1 3 alone a priest together with a nun.As this invitation is done by a person who is highly respected, the partner will come to the meeting because they might not feel free to reject the invite.In the meeting, the mediator asks the couple to listen to each other, share their perspectives, and in most cases seeks to understand what is causing the abusive behavior.The priest or nun might show empathy to the victim and give advice to the couple on how to prevent conflict and violence.The mediation in most cases is then concluded with some form of oral agreement.
Most victims claimed that the mediating priests and nuns did not talk to the perpetrators before coming to the joint meeting, except for the earlier mentioned five cases in which the husband initiated the mediation.Most victims (15 out of 20) mentioned that after one meeting of sharing their problems with the priests or nuns, the priest or nun invited the perpetrators to mediation, which typically made their partner angry during the mediation.In the five cases in which mediation was requested by the perpetrator, the victims were invited to the joint meeting without any prior individual meeting with the priest or nun.The victims mentioned that the process triggered uncomfortable reactions and created an unsafe atmosphere for them.One victim said: He (my husband) was so bitter that I had to report to my sister.But, trust me, I was patient even with all the insults he was raining on me.Sister asked us to write our likes and dislikes and advised us afterwards.She told me to try to manage my home as a woman.The problem is not me, but my husband.For peace sake, I accepted.(Victim 9) Analyzing the responses, we notice some differences in the experience of the women between the actions of the priests and nuns, particularly in the areas of favoring a party, offering empathy, and giving advice.Five of the 11 victims who were mediated by a priest claimed that the priest sided with their husband.This was not explicitly mentioned when a nun was mediating.These women mentioned that the priests reinforced the patriarchal mentality that considers women subject to their husbands.The victims claimed that they were asked to resign their job, avoid male friends and allow perpetrators to monitor their calls in order to satisfy them.One victim reported: I felt terribly bad when the priest told me before my husband to either resign my job or to be attentive to the needs in my home as a mother and a wife.I would have appreciated it if he said that to me alone.Those words are justifications that my husband was looking for.Well, I leave everything to God. (Victim 16) All nine victims who met with a nun claimed that the mediating nun was very empathetic and compassionate towards them.The victims felt that the nuns understood their problems and offered assistance on how to remedy the situation.They also mentioned that the perpetrators were not blamed; rather, they were encouraged to stop their misbehavior.As one victim stated: I sincerely loved their approach because I am happy that someone understands what I was trying to say to my husband.Sister made him to understand that our children will grow up to be like him if he doesn't stop such bad habit.He was encouraged to cultivate the habit of staying at home with us to enable the children feel loved by their father.(Victim 17) Seven of the women who met with a nun claimed that the nun advised them to learn how to manage their home, live in peace, and forgive the perpetrator.Victim 18 reported: The reverend sister who is a close friend kept begging me to at least listen to my husband.I was so mad because of the precious gift (my unborn) that I lost.I never wanted to see him in my life again, but because of my children I had a rethink.In the mediation he was crying helplessly and I felt for him.The sister encouraged me to find a place in my heart to forgive him, and I did.
Victims reported that their voices, needs, and concerns when it came to structural changes, including the option of divorce, were not addressed during the mediation.The priest or nun encouraged them to continue their marriage without divorce, following the guidelines of the Catholic Church, and even without separating, following the patriarchal tradition of Nigerian society.Sixteen out of the twenty victims claimed that the perpetrators were silent and pretended to resolve their problems with each other.Some victims (4 out of 20) mentioned that the perpetrators were very angry because the victims had shared their family secret with the priest or the nun.The perpetrators expressed their anger through their tone of voice and gestures.One victim stated: During the process of mediation, I told the priest that I wanted a divorce since my husband is not making any move to change, but he said it is not possible.He told me that as long as my husband is alive I cannot be granted a divorce in the church.If I have an affair with any man, that I will be committing adultery.I told him that I do not know the category I belong [to].Do I belong to the category of widows or do I belong to the category of married women?I really need help and any means of survival whether psychological or materially.(Victim 10) Another victim said: He will just calm down and cut the priest short by saying that he has heard and that he is equal to the task that everything will be fine.But, at the end of the day nothing will be fine.No, it was not helpful for me because when I met the priest I wanted the problem to be solved.I wanted someone who is spiritually inclined to tell me one or two things.But when you talk it will be as if you are pouring water on a leaf.At a point, the priest told me that it is my cross and nobody can do anything about it, and I have come to believe that it is my cross.I'd really like to leave the marriage and empower myself through education.(Victim 2)

Victims' evaluation of the mediation agreement
All victims stated that they agreed with their perpetrators with the help of the priest or nun.Almost all the victims (19 out of 20) mentioned that the agreement was verbal in nature.Only one victim (1 out of 20) reported that the perpetrator signed a written agreement under the supervision of their mediator (a priest).Even though they agreed, most of the victims (18 out of 20) were not satisfied with the agreement.The reasons for this include the fact that the women felt pressured to agree and comply since the agreement was proposed by the priest or nun.The understanding was that it would amount to a form of disrespect if the victim rejected the agreement.Also, alternative options did not come to the table.Most of the women were not pleased with the proposed agreement as it did not sufficiently meet their needs because it put them back into traditional submissive roles.The agreements might sometimes be pacifying, however, no structural causes were addressed.As one victim stated: 1 3 The priest, like I mentioned, asked me to try and make my husband happy and avoid things that will upset him.This I agreed because I do not have a choice.I am not happy with the agreement, but I do not have any alternative.(Victim 14)

Long-term consequences of mediation and revictimization
The first consequence of mediation is related to compliance with the agreement between the two parties.We noticed that most women were not happy with the agreement in the first place.However, according to the women, the husband in many cases also did not comply with the agreement, which sometimes made the women's situation even worse.As one victim stated: I am not satisfied with things.The agreement as of then was perfect for me but he didn't keep to it.He promised to come back to the Catholic Church and that I should forgive him, which I did.I guess he made that promise to trick me.(Victim 7) Most of the victims claimed that the perpetrators during the mediation pretended and promised to stop their violence against them but did not keep their promise.Regarding revictimization, most victims (17 out of 20) claimed that they were exposed to further harm after the mediation with the priest or nun.Some victims (3 out of 20) mentioned that the perpetrator's behavior was a bit more bearable after the mediation because they (the victim) decided to tolerate it.All victims claimed that they decided to remain in the marriage because of their children, lack of resources, or cultural stigmatization.One victim reported: I'm tired of this life.I prefer to die than to live like this.I'm so scared of him because I cannot predict his actions.I don't even have a place to run for help.My family and friends will laugh at me if I share with them or even decide to leave.I am just alone in this world.My husband behaves like a wizard.I am not satisfied because nothing actually changed.(Victim 19) Another victim said: Actually, I expected something more after the mediation.I expected that my husband would change permanently or even [go] months without torturing me physically and emotionally.He promised to change and later became more violent.I don't think anything changed.It is the same torture that I face.So, I am not satisfied because I am a like a slave in my own house.(Victim 4) Most of the victims claimed that in order to tolerate the hurt and pain inflicted on them by the perpetrators, they disengaged themselves from the experience of abuse by intensifying their spirituality, being silent, becoming self-critical, or engaging in wishful thinking.They mentioned that such actions enabled them to cope with the situation in their family.All victims expressed wishful thinking.Some victims (5 out of 20) claimed that they would either remain silent, intensify their spirituality and self-criticism (8 out of 20), or leave the marriage (5 out of 20).One victim stated: To me, from just following what the scripture said that as children of God we have to overlook certain things, I have ignored him because his relationship did not change.I will simply fall back to prayer because marriage is a continuous process.Marriage problems do not have an end to me, because I have been married for 10 years.When you think of the Bible verse that says that you should not divorce because it is a sin, you have no choice than to bear it and pray that God should change him and pray for wisdom and understanding to carry your cross.(Victim 3) Another victim said, "I will remain quiet because I have not benefitted from the intervention of our priest.Silence is golden to me" (Victim 11).Victim 19 reported: To some extent, I blame myself for his behaviors.I jumped into marriage because I was in search of love.Maybe, I'm the cause of his abusive behavior towards me.I'm so confused.It is possible that I loved him so much that he is taking advantage of assisting me when my family rejected me.
Another victim commented: I will leave the marriage before it gets to the extent of having children.This is because I would not have the heart to abandon my children for another man.My children will not forgive me if they got to know that I abandon them because of marital problems.(Victim 12)

Discussion
The goal of this study is to offer more insight into the use and effects of informal mediation as performed by Catholic priests and nuns in Nigeria.Religious leaders play an important role as informal peacemakers in many developing societies, particularly when it comes to domestic and intimate partner violence (IPV) (Neergaard et al., 2007).However, this has been hardly studied, and the perspective of the victims of IPV has been relatively overlooked.With this study, we hope to fill this research gap and offer new insights into the domain of informal mediation.We interviewed 20 victims of IPV who had sought help from priests and religious nuns who acted as informal mediators.
Our results showed that victims seeking help from religious leaders were all confronted with long-term, severe forms of abuse and violence, which had a large impact on their health and well-being.Physical and emotional violence were reported as the significant forms of abuse these victims experienced.This violence was severe and systematic, with victims typically suffering for years.All the women perceived that the men were acting from a dominant position, and they felt they had very little power to change their situation.Since wives are largely considered their husbands' 'property' in the Nigerian context, violence against them is perceived as a rather common practice by society.Women are expected to maintain peace in the family and persevere without any form of resistance against their husband.They are also expected not to talk about it outside the family.The society equally expects these women to manage the family and household.Our study supports previous studies that demonstrate that the same pattern exists both for educated and financially empowered women and for uneducated and economically dependent women (Ajayi et al., 2022;Alemede & Olajumoke, 2018;Tenkorang et al., 2017).An important factor contributing to the continuous abuse is the patriarchal mentality that considers family issues as secret and private.The findings suggest that there are no justice systems that protect victims' rights in this context.To this end, our findings contribute to the literature on mediation by highlighting the relevance of informal mediators in IPV situations.
Our findings also show that victims decided to undergo the mediation process because they had high expectations of the mediation performed by the priests and nuns.These victims hoped that--given the status of priests and nuns and their power in church and society-the priests and nuns would be able to structurally change the situation, including ending the violence, improving the relationship, or ending the marriage.Unfortunately, these expectations were not met for most women-not in the mediation process, nor in the agreement which they reluctantly agreed with, nor regarding the long-term effects.Mainly priests but also nuns mediate within the patriarchal cultural setting of Nigerian society, which is far from the equal gender role in marriage that is generally supported by the Catholic Church.This ends up placing women in a situation of servitude without the option to leave the marriage (Ajayi et al., 2022).
When it comes to mediation, it is noteworthy that the priest or nun invites both the victim and the perpetrator to the meeting after a first consultation with the victim and does not use caucus.It is well known that a caucus is effective in preventing negative emotions in victims like anger, anxiety, fear, or intimidation during mediation (Bollen et al., 2013).In this sense, Raines and Indovina's (2020) recent research argues that caucusing enables parties, particularly the weaker party, to express their needs and concerns, but this was not applied according to the women interviewed in this study.Findings suggest that priests and nuns use dysfunctional mediation strategies (i.e.non-use of caucus, lack of empowerment of the weaker party, forcing the victim to modify their behavior).This has negative consequences, including an increase of the chances of repeated systemic violence against women and the victims' perception that their voices were not represented during the mediation (Ajayi et al., 2022;Neergaard et al., 2007;Raines & Indovina, 2020).
Results also suggest differences in behavior by priests and nuns toward the victims during the mediation.These results are in line with previous findings in the United States that Black female religious leaders can more likely uphold egalitarian views of marriage compared with Black male religious leaders and that, in general, Black female religious leaders are passionate about providing holistic, culturally centered care to Black women who had experienced IPV (Christensen et al., 2017;Shaw et al., 2022).In fact, Black women reported preferring female providers when receiving care (Dale et al., 2010).The present study underpins the previous data about gendered counseling by showing that nuns displayed more supportive behavior than priests in Nigeria, including even siding with one party during mediation, which is a common response, particularly among informal mediators (Zhang et al., 2020).Consequently, our findings show that victims perceived priests as more on the side of the perpetrator, while empathy and advice were experienced more when a nun was mediating.However, both priests and nuns focused on the restoration of marriage, peace, and harmony in the family, without paying attention to the power difference between the partners or the needs and concerns of the victims.In this respect, victims' voices, needs, and concerns were not represented during the mediation (Gerkin, 2012;Neergaard et al., 2007;Zhang et al., 2020).
Our findings also show that although in most of the analyzed cases a settlement had been reached, victims experienced low compliance with the agreement, even at the level of reducing or ending the violence.This may reflect the fact that victims feel more constrained in their behavior and might be incapable or less willing to speak up in the mediation process.It is also possible that victims evaluate compliance more negatively because of the pressure on them to reconcile with the perpetrators and their low economic and social power to be able to use other alternatives, such as separation from their partner (Choi et al., 2010(Choi et al., , 2013;;Dim & Elabor-Idemudia, 2018).
Finally, our findings also showed that most victims were revictimized after the mediation process.Many women usually respond to revictimization by resorting to learned helplessness, dependency due to lack of resources, fear of cultural stigmatization, and concerns for children's safety.This results in disengagement as a coping strategy, which was the most typical response to victims' revictimization experience after the mediation.As mentioned above, this disengagement coping strategy includes silence, intensified spirituality, self-criticism, and wishful thinking.Unfortunately, this reinforces old patterns of abusive behaviors.Several studies show disengagement to be a facilitator of physical and emotional revictimization (Gardsbane et al., 2022;Iverson et al., 2013;Kuijpers et al., 2012;Neergaard et al., 2007).

Limitations
Several limitations of the present study should be acknowledged.First, it is possible that the different religious status or position between the first author and the victims created differential power positions.The first author is a Catholic nun, and all the interviewed women were laity who did not occupy any religious position in the church.This could have affected their interview responses.However, the first author mitigated this by taking a neutral position (without status/position) during the interview.The author dressed like a layperson without her religious habit to give the participants the freedom to express themselves comfortably.Second, in this study, we relied on victims' general perception of informal mediation, not on a direct measure after the mediation.
Future research needs to consider a long-term perspective on victims' perceptions of informal mediation, analyzing short-and long-term effects of mediation.A good approach would be a longitudinal study in which victims' perceptions are measured over a longer period of time.Third, given that our study participants were women (victims), it would be interesting for future research to take into consideration the voices of perpetrators and informal mediators as well.This would give a more comprehensive view of the subject matter.Finally, our research is limited to the geographical and cultural context of Nigeria, which is characterized by patriarchalism.As a result, we encourage future research to replicate our study in different societies and contexts.A key strength of the current study, however, is that it provides perspectives from 20 women who have experienced IPV informal mediation by religious leaders (Catholic priests and nuns).This allows rich insights into an uninvestigated topic in the sociocultural context of Nigeria.

Practical implications
Several practical suggestions emerge from our study on how to assist victims in Nigeria and other societies with similar situations.First, our findings suggest that there is a need for greater sensitization to the position of women in the Nigerian society as well as in other patriarchal cultures.Such awareness will reduce the abuse against women and promote their dignity as human persons.By doing so, greater equality of persons, irrespective of their gender, will be enacted in the society.The challenge is of course how to dismantle a toxic patriarchal mentality.
Second, given the important role of religious leaders in Nigerian society and in many other societies, they could play a key role in the development of equal relationships, specifically by acting on signs of violence.Informal mediators (priests and nuns) need to apply their considerable influence to fight for victims within the church community.This can be done by education and development of moral standards through teachings and sermons.A classic role of religious leaders in many countries involves preparing couples for marriage, during which issues relating to the roles of marital partners and conflicts could be constructively addressed.A recent study in Uganda showed such premarital counseling can be an effective intervention (Boyer et al., 2022).Furthermore, this can also be done by meeting with groups of women and men to reduce the current level of silencing, empower both groups in developing constructive behaviors, and teach them on how to cope with changing roles within a marital relation.Priests also have sanctioning power regarding structural forms of violent behavior by their parishioners.Faith-based programs and organizations (such as Catholic men's organizations) can play a role in monitoring perpetrators' behavior and in ensuring that perpetrators comply with the mediation agreements (Delia & Francois, 2020).
Third, since victims within our context rely largely on priests and nuns for intervention, it is important that these informal mediators are well trained and have sufficient knowledge of the consequences and implications of the mediation strategies they apply.In the reference cases of interventions, most informal mediators emphasize reconciliation, and often pressure victims (more than perpetrators) to forgive and change.The result is that victims do not feel sufficiently respected or empowered in this patriarchal society.Our study also suggests that informal mediators should consider power dynamics and power structures when intervening on IPV issues in Nigeria to prevent further harm to victims (Ajayi et al., 2022).
Finally, informal mediators should consider that victims may have a different understanding of compliance with the mediation agreement in a typical patriarchal culture.Our findings suggest that informal mediators should endeavor to assist victims to monitor the agreements.This would help perpetrators to keep to the terms of an agreement and reduce the risks of revictimization of the victim (Choi et al., 2010(Choi et al., , 2013)).This essentially implies that, as part of pastoral care, priests and nuns should always follow up on their mediation efforts and not assume that all is well when no further complaints emerge.Informal mediators should reach out to the victims and follow up on the mediation agreements.
(a) How often did you meet, and for how long, and how did that go?What did the priest or nun do?(b) What did you think about this process?Was this helpful to you? Could you express your emotions and needs?(c) What did you think of the mediator and his/her approach?Were you satisfied with that?
4. What was the outcome of the mediation?
(a) What changed after the mediation, and did this last over time?(b) Do you think your relationship has changed?In what way?Why or why not?(c) How satisfied are you with these outcomes?Is this what you expected? 5. What happened with your agreement?(a) Would you tell me how this was reached?(b) What did you think about this agreement?(c) Were you satisfied with it?6. Has there been any follow up since?Are you in contact with the mediator (or priest; or use her or his name)?7. If you face this situation again in the future, what will you do? 8. Do you recommend this person (mediator) to others?Why or why not?