Abstract
We aimed to assess, among a U.S. probability sample of adult women: (1) the prevalence of, and reasons given for, faking and no longer faking orgasm, (2) women’s histories of sexual non-communication and reasons for non-communication, (3) associations between sexual non-communication and sexual satisfaction and faking orgasm, (4) associations between specific sexual communication and recent sexual satisfaction, and (5) associations between specific sexual communication and faking orgasm. Respondents were 1008 adult women ages 18–94 from the GfK KnowledgePanel (a nationally representative probability sample of non-institutionalized and English-speaking adults), who completed a confidential Internet-based survey. Although 58.8% of female respondents reported having ever faked/pretended orgasm, 67.3% of those who had ever faked orgasm no longer did. Women who continued to fake orgasms were more likely to indicate embarrassment talking about sex with their partner in explicit ways and were less likely to agree that they and their partner are able to talk specifically about what makes sex more pleasurable for them. More than half (55.4%) of women reported they had wanted to communicate with a partner regarding sex but decided not to; the most common reasons were not wanting to hurt a partner’s feelings (42.4%), not feeling comfortable going into detail (40.2%), and embarrassment (37.7%). Greater self-reported sexual satisfaction was associated with more comfortable sexual communication. Study findings and implications for professionals are discussed in the context of adult sexual development and learning. This includes growing more comfortable talking with a partner about sexual preferences and sexual pleasure.
This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.
Similar content being viewed by others
References
Alexander, S. C., Fortenberry, J. D., Pollak, K. I., Bravender, T., Davis, J. K., Ostbye, T., … Shields, C. G. (2014). Sexuality talk during adolescent health maintenance visits. Journal of American Medical Association Pediatrics,168, 163–169. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapediatrics.2013.4338.
Armstrong, E. A., England, P., & Fogarty, A. C. K. (2012). Accounting for women’s orgasm and sexual enjoyment in college hookups and relationships. American Sociological Review,77, 435–462. https://doi.org/10.1177/0003122412445802.
Armstrong, E. A., Hamilton, L., Armstrong, E. M., & Seeley, J. L. (2014). Good girls: Gender, social class, and slut discourse on campus. Social Psychology Quarterly,77, 100–122. https://doi.org/10.1177/0190272514521220.
Baxter, L. A., & Wilmot, W. W. (1985). Taboo topics in close relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships,2, 253–269. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407585023002.
Braeken, D., & Cardinal, M. (2008). Comprehensive sexuality education as a means of promoting sexual health. International Journal of Sexual Health,1, 50–62. https://doi.org/10.1080/19317610802157051.
Braun, V., & Wilkinson, S. (2001). Socio-cultural representations of the vagina. Journal of Reproductive and Infant Psychology,19, 17–32. https://doi.org/10.1080/02646830020032374.
Chang, L., & Krosnick, J. A. (2009). National surveys via RDD telephone interviewing versus the internet: Comparing sample representativeness and response quality. Public Opinion Quarterly,73, 641–678. https://doi.org/10.1093/poq/nfp075.
Eisenberg, D., Freed, G. L., Davis, M. M., Singer, D., & Prosser, L. A. (2011). Valuing health at different ages: Evidence from a nationally representative survey in the US. Applied Health Economics and Health Policy,9, 149–156. https://doi.org/10.2165/11587340-000000000-00000.
Fahs, B. (2011). Performing sex: The making and unmaking of women’s erotic lives. Albany, NY: State University of New York Press.
Fahs, B. (2014). Coming to power: Women’s fake orgasms and best orgasm experiences illuminate the failures of (hetero)sex and the pleasures of connection. Culture, Health and Sexuality,16, 974–988. https://doi.org/10.1080/13691058.2014.924557.
Fahs, B., & Frank, E. (2014). Notes from the back room: Gender, power, and (in)visibility in women’s experiences of masturbation. Journal of Sex Research,51, 241–252. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2012.745474.
Fetterolf, J. C., & Sanchez, D. T. (2015). The costs and benefits of perceived sexual agency for men and women. Archives of Sexual Behavior,44, 961–970. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-014-0408-x.
Fine, M. (1988). Sexuality, schooling, and adolescent females: The missing discourse of desire. Harvard Educational Review,58, 29–54. https://doi.org/10.17763/haer.58.1.u0468k1v2n2n8242.
Fortenberry, J. D., Schick, V., Herbenick, D., Sanders, S. A., Dodge, B., & Reece, M. (2010). Sexual behaviors and condom use at last vaginal intercourse: A national sample of adolescents ages 14 to 17 years. Journal of Sexual Medicine,7, 305–314. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.02018.x.
Frischherz, M. (2015). Affective agency and transformative shame: The voices behind The Great Wall of Vagina. Women’s Studies in Communication,38, 251–272. https://doi.org/10.1080/07491409.2015.1061084.
Gagnon, J. H. (1990). The explicit and implicit use of the scripting perspective in sex research. Annual Review of Sex Research,1, 1–43. https://doi.org/10.1080/10532528.1990.10559854.
Goldberg, S. K., Haydon, A. A., Herring, A. H., & Halpern, C. T. (2014). Longitudinal consistency in self-reported age of first intercourse among young adults. Journal of Sex Research,51, 97–106. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2012.719169.
Haavio-Mannila, E., & Kontula, O. (1997). Correlates of increased sexual satisfaction. Archives of Sexual Behavior,26, 399–419. https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1024591318836.
Haider, A. H., Schneider, E. B., Kodadek, L. M., Adler, R. R., Ranjit, A., Torain, M., … Lau, B. D. (2017). Emergency department query for patient-centered approaches to sexual orientation and gender identity: The EQUALITY study. Journal of the American Medical Association Internal Medicine,177, 819–828. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamainternmed.2017.0906.
Heiman, J. R., Long, J. S., Smith, S. N., Fisher, W. A., Sand, M. S., & Rosen, R. C. (2011). Sexual satisfaction and relationship happiness in midlife and older couples in five countries. Archives of Sexual Behavior,40, 741–753. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-010-9703-3.
Hensel, D., Fortenberry, J. D., O’Sullivan, L. F., & Orr, D. P. (2011). The developmental association of sexual self-concept with sexual behavior among adolescent women. Journal of Adolescence,34, 675–684. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2010.09.005.
Herbenick, D., Fu, T. C., Arter, J., Dodge, B., & Sanders, S. A. (2018). Women’s experiences with genital touching, sexual pleasure, and orgasm: Results from a US probability sample. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy,44(2), 201–212. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2017.1346530.
Herbenick, D., Reece, M., Sanders, S. A., Dodge, B., Ghassemi, A., & Fortenberry, J. D. (2009). Prevalence and characteristics of vibrator use by women in the United States: Results from a nationally representative probability sample. Journal of Sexual Medicine,6, 1857–1866. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01318.x.
Herbenick, D., Reece, M., Schick, V., Sanders, S. A., Dodge, B., & Fortenberry, J. D. (2010a). An event-level analysis of the sexual characteristics and composition among adults ages 18 to 59: Results from a national probability sample in the United States. Journal of Sexual Medicine,7, 346–361. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.02020.x.
Herbenick, D., Reece, M., Schick, V., Sanders, S. A., Dodge, B., & Fortenberry, J. D. (2010b). Sexual behavior in the United States: Results from a national probability sample of men and women ages 14–94. Journal of Sexual Medicine,7, 255–265. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.02012.x.
Herek, G. M. (2009). Hate crimes and stigma-related experiences among sexual minority adults in the United States: Prevalence estimates from a national probability sample. Journal of Interpersonal Violence,24, 54–74. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260508316477.
Hurlbert, D. F. (1991). The role of assertiveness in female sexuality: A comparative study between sexually assertive and sexually nonassertive women. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy,17, 183–190. https://doi.org/10.1080/00926239108404342.
Kelly, M. P., Strassberg, D. S., & Turner, C. M. (2004). Communication and associated relationship issues in female anorgasmia. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy,30, 263–276. https://doi.org/10.1080/00926230490422403.
Kiefer, A. K., & Sanchez, D. T. (2007). Scripting sexual passivity: A gender role perspective. Personal Relationships,14, 269–290. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2007.00154.x.
Kinsey, A., Pomeroy, W., Martin, C., & Gebhard, P. (1953). Sexual behavior in the human female. Philadelphia, PA: WB Saunders.
Kontula, O. (2010). The evolution of sex education and students’ sexual knowledge in Finland in the 2000s. Sex Education,10, 373–386. https://doi.org/10.1080/14681811.2010.515095.
Laan, E., & Rellini, A. H. (2011). Can we treat anorgasmia in women? The challenge to experiencing pleasure. Sexual and Relationship Therapy,26, 329–341. https://doi.org/10.1080/14681994.2011.649691.
Laumann, E. O., Gagnon, J. H., Michael, R. T., & Michael, S. (1994). The social organization of sexuality: Sexual practices in the United States. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press.
Levine, E. C., Herbenick, D., Martinez, O., Fu, T. C., & Dodge, B. (2018). Open relationships, nonconsensual nonmonogamy, and monogamy among US adults: Findings from the 2012 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. Archives of Sexual Behavior,47, 1439–1450. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-018-1178-7.
Lindau, S. T., Schumm, L. P., Laumann, E. O., Levinson, W., O’Muircheartaigh, C. A., & Waite, L. J. (2007). A study of sexuality and health among older adults in the United States. New England Journal of Medicine,357, 762–774. https://doi.org/10.1056/NEJMoa067423.
Maas, M. K., Shearer, C. L., Gillen, M. M., & Lefkowitz, E. S. (2015). Sex rules: Emerging adults’ perceptions of gender’s impact on sexuality. Sexuality and Culture,19, 617–636. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12119-015-9281-6.
MacNeil, S., & Byers, E. S. (2005). Dyadic assessment of sexual self-disclosure and sexual satisfaction in heterosexual dating couples. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships,22, 169–181. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407505050942.
Mark, K., Herbenick, D., Fortenberry, J. D., Sanders, S. A., & Reece, M. (2014). A psychometric comparison of three scales and a single-item measure to assess sexual satisfaction. Journal of Sex Research,51, 159–169. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2013.816261.
Martinez, G., Copen, C. E., & Abma, J. C. (2011). Teenagers in the United States: Sexual activity, contraceptive use, and childbearing, 2006–2010 National Survey of Family Growth (Vital and Health Statistics No. 23). Retrieved from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_031.pdf.
Mitchell, K. R., Mercer, C. H., Ploubidis, G. B., Jones, K. G., Datta, J., Field, N., … Wellings, K. (2013). Sexual function in Britain: Findings from the third National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (Natsal-3). Lancet,382, 1817–1829. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(13)62366-1.
Muehlenhard, C. L., & Shippee, S. K. (2010). Men’s and women’s reports of pretending orgasm. Journal of Sex Research,47, 552–567. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224490903171794.
Mustanski, B. S. (2001). Getting wired: Exploiting the internet for the collection of valid sexuality data. Journal of Sex Research,38, 292–301. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224490109552100.
Pronier, C., & Monk-Turner, E. (2014). Factors shaping women’s sexual satisfaction: A comparison of medical and social models. Journal of Gender Studies,23, 69–80. https://doi.org/10.1080/09589236.2012.752347.
Richters, J., Altman, D., Badcock, P. B., Smith, A. M. A., de Visser, R. O., Grulich, A. E., … Simpson, J. D. (2014). Sexual identity, sexual attraction and sexual experience: The second Australian Study of Health and Relationships. Sexual Health,11, 451–460. https://doi.org/10.1071/SH14117.
Richters, J., Grulich, A. E., de Visser, R. O., & Smith, A. M. A. (2003). Sex in Australia: Sexual and emotional satisfaction in regular relationships and preferred frequency of sex among a representative sample of adults. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health,27, 171–179. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-842X.2003.tb00805.x.
Rickert, V. I., Sanghvi, R., & Wiemann, C. M. (2002). Is lack of sexual assertiveness among adolescent and young adult women a cause for concern? Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, 34(4), 178–183.
Rosen, R., Brown, C., Heiman, J. R., Leiblum, C., Meston, C., Shabsigh, R., … D’Agostino, R. (2000). The Female Sexual Function Index (FSFI): A multi-dimensional self-report instrument for the assessment of female sexual function. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy,2, 191–208. https://doi.org/10.1080/009262300278597.
Rothman, E. F., Edwards, E. M., Heeran, T., & Hingson, R. W. (2008). Adverse childhood experiences predict earlier age of drinking onset: Results from a US representative sample of current or former drinkers. Pediatrics,122, e298–e304. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2007-3412.
Solomon, D. H., Knobloch, L. K., & Fitzpatrick, M. A. (2004). Relational power, marital schema, and decisions to withhold complaints: An investigation of the chilling effect on confrontation in marriage. Communication Studies, 55(1), 146–167.
StataCorp. (2015). Stata statistical software: Release 14. College Station, TX: StataCorp LP.
Thomas, H. N., Hess, R., & Thurston, R. C. (2015). Correlates of sexual activity and satisfaction in midlife and older women. Annals of Family Medicine,13, 336–342. https://doi.org/10.1370/afm.1820.
Tiefer, L. (2002). Pleasure, medicalization and the tyranny of the natural. SIECUS Report,30, 23–26.
Tolman, D. (1994). Doing desire: Adolescent girls’ struggles for/with sexuality. Gender and Society,8, 324–342. https://doi.org/10.1177/089124394008003003.
Watson, E. D., Seguin, L. J., Milhausen, R. R., & Murray, S. H. (2016). The impact of a couple’s vibrator on men’s perceptions of their own and their partner’s sexual pleasure and satisfaction. Men and Masculinities,19, 370–383. https://doi.org/10.1177/1097184X15595082.
Wiederman, M. W. (1997). Pretending orgasm during sexual intercourse: Correlates in a sample of young adult women. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy,23, 131–139. https://doi.org/10.1080/00926239708405314.
World Health Organization. (2010). Sexual and reproductive health. Defining sexual health. Retrieved from http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/sexual_health/sh_definitions/en/.
Yeager, D. S., Krosnick, J. A., Chang, L., Javitz, H. S., Levendusky, M. S., Simpser, A., & Wang, R. (2011). Comparing the accuracy of RDD telephone surveys and internet surveys conducted with probability and non-probability samples. Public Opinion Quarterly,75, 709–747. https://doi.org/10.1093/poq/nfr020.
Acknowledgements
The authors are grateful to OMGYes.com for funding in support of the present study.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Corresponding author
Ethics declarations
Conflict of interest
Debby Herbenick has served as a scientific consultant to OMGYes.com.
Additional information
Publisher's Note
Springer Nature remains neutral with regard to jurisdictional claims in published maps and institutional affiliations.
Rights and permissions
About this article
Cite this article
Herbenick, D., Eastman-Mueller, H., Fu, Tc. et al. Women’s Sexual Satisfaction, Communication, and Reasons for (No Longer) Faking Orgasm: Findings from a U.S. Probability Sample. Arch Sex Behav 48, 2461–2472 (2019). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-019-01493-0
Received:
Revised:
Accepted:
Published:
Issue Date:
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-019-01493-0