Don’t Be So Unlikeable

Abstract

It’s time to add up everything we’ve been through so far and consider how it affects the most important variable—whether the people in the audience like what they’re hearing. You can avoid the pitfalls of the first three chapters (be not so cerebral, be not so literal-minded, and tell a good story), but if there’s something about you that people don’t like, you’re still not going to communicate very effectively. So let’s begin by examining the unique aspects of the scientist’s persona.

One night in Hollywood, a few years after film school, I hopped in the car with two former classmates, Jason Ensler and Jay Lowi, and Jay’s girlfriend, Courtney Ashley. It was Friday night, we were headed to a party in the Hollywood hills, and all of us were feeling optimistic at the end of a good week. Jason was being considered as director of a television show, Jay was up to direct a movie, and I had a feature script that several companies were thinking about optioning. With a big smile, I said from the front passenger’s seat, “You know, by Monday afternoon we could all be major players in Hollywood!” Before anyone could agree, Courtney spoke up from the back seat. “Now, listen,” she said hesitantly. “I don’t mean to be…how shall I say this…‘the Randy’ of this group, but…I think the odds of that happening are awfully slim.” The car was silent for a moment as we processed this. Then everyone burst out laughing, and continued laughing for the rest of the night, as a new expression was born that we still use to this day. Whenever someone is deluding himself with excessive optimism and losing touch with the cold, scientific facts of the real world, somebody invariably chimes in, “Now, listen, I don’t mean to be ‘the Randy’ of this group, but…”