Phenomenology and Its Implications

Abstract

As. sit down to write this chapter, one of my friends who struggled with addiction has just died. He was, like many who considered themselves addicts,. man of many faces. In our conversations he was self-deprecating and funny, but expressed. deep fear of rejection. Every comment or suggestion was qualified with as many as. dozen iterations of phrases such as “this is just my opinion,” “I don’t speak for everyone,” “everyone is different, of course.” And yet when his obituary was publicized, it revealed things that most of his friends didn’t know, including that he was. highly educated, highly successful professional in at least two or three very diverse fields. He had not used alcohol for over. decade. Unlike the addicts that Gabor Maté profiles so sensitively in his In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. many of the people whom. have met in the groups that. have visited are doctors, lawyers, professors, chemists, judges, actors, and artists, respected in their public lives, reserving their addiction for only those very dark corners of their private lives. Most think that they have no friends, while they are surrounded by supporters and admirers, and although many have underlying social anxiety issues, they are often charming and influential among those with whom they interact. All this is to say that when you think you have. handle on addiction and addicts, you probably don’t.