Who Is Seen to Be Cared for?

Abstract

‘Even though I do it entirely on purpose, it is very much against my will that, repeatedly, every night, I crap my bed.’¹ With this sentence, Dimitri Verhulst (2013) introduces the main character of his book, De Laatkomer [the latecomer], who decides to pretend to suffer from dementia in order to allow himself to leave his old life, his family and his friends and move into a nursing home. The comical, yet touching, story demonstrates the limits and boundaries of what is considered a decent and fulfilled life. For someone who is completely healthy, both physically and mentally, to show (and live) the symptoms of dementia, seems to be an unbelievable paradox. For someone deliberately wanting to move into a care home contradicts the imperatives of independence and autonomy, values that are ingrained into our conception of an active and satisfying life. When the book’s hero decides to flee from his own life and environment by joining the world of dementia, dependency and care, we can recognise important moral and social associations with illness, old age and dependency. Losing the capacity to remember one’s own life story, becoming estranged from the people who were called family, partners or friends and having to rely on others for all everyday activities captures many people’s most horrific imaginations about old age.