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Forgiving Another, Recovering One’s Future

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Abstract

In the previous chapter, we saw how much our sense of self and our hope for the future are contingent on our relationships with those others who are an inspiration and a source of support in our lives. Whenever we are disillusioned by someone on whom we depend, our lives lose much of their meaning: we are no longer sure of who we are and the future becomes uncertain and unattractive. In the long run, we may come out of such crises with gains in the form of increased personal maturity and self-reliance. Yet, the more immediate consequences, such as grief, loss of confidence, and diminishment of the sense of one’s value as a person, are deeply felt. The stories in Chapter 2 involved significant breaches of trust or failure to live up to what most of us would regard as reasonable expectations. Surely, it is not peculiar to think that therapists should act professionally and in their clients’ best interest or that parents should care for their children.

Keywords

  • Conscientious Objector
  • Mainstream Psychology
  • Phenomenological Psychology
  • Forgiveness Process
  • Forgiveness Treatment

These keywords were added by machine and not by the authors. This process is experimental and the keywords may be updated as the learning algorithm improves.

“Human forgiveness is not doing something but discovering something—that I am more like those who have hurt me than different from them.”

John Patton1

“[Revenge] is dangerous, not because of what it does to your enemy, but because of what it does to you.”

Laura Blumenfeld2

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Notes

  1. John Patton, Is Human Forgiveness Possible? (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 1985), 16.

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  8. Part of what follows is taken from my article, “Embracing Human Fallibility: On Forgiving Oneself and Forgiving Others,” Journal of Religion and Health 33, no. 2 (1994): 107–114. I want to thank David Leeming, the journal’s editor, for permission to include it here.

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© 2008 Steen Halling

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Halling, S. (2008). Forgiving Another, Recovering One’s Future. In: Intimacy, Transcendence, and Psychology. Palgrave Macmillan, New York. https://doi.org/10.1057/9780230610255_4

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