Introducing the Study

Abstract

The following are two extracts from an English guide for adoptive parents, written in 1959:

It is always wise to avoid using the expressions ‘your own mother’ or ‘your real mother’. Even ‘your other mother’ makes it sound as if the child has two mothers, whereas he only has you. One good way to put it is ‘your first mother’. There is no emotional feeling about the word ‘first’. The child knows ‘first’ as something which comes and goes. (Rowe, 1959, p. 140)

It is rare for a happily adopted child to wish to look up his adoption records and even more rare for him to try to find his first parents. If they do it usually means that something has gone wrong in their home and they are searching for a satisfaction that they have not yet found. An intense and long-continued interest in his original parents is a sign that all is not well and the child may need professional help. (ibid., p. 147)