The Art of Selling One’s ‘Self’ on an Online Dating Site: The BAR Approach



Singles have many places and spaces available to them to find a romantic partner. How one creates a ‘first impression’ in each of these spaces can vary. This chapter argues that some of these spaces allow individuals to gradually get to know one another, while other spaces expect individuals to reveal a wealth of information about themselves prior to any oneon- one communication with potential dates. An online dating site is an example of the latter. Given that details about one’s ‘self’ are presented differently on an online dating site compared to other dating arenas, it is argued here that unique skills and strategies are required to successfully sell oneself on an online dating site. In other words, there is an art to selling oneself on an online dating site. This chapter will outline my BAR approach theory, which contends that if individuals are to successfully develop a romantic relationship from an online dating site, they need to present a balance between an ‘attractive’ and a ‘real’ self on their online profiles.


Romantic Relationship Romantic Partner Physical Attractiveness Online Dater Potential Date 
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Copyright information

© Monica T. Whitty 2007

Authors and Affiliations

  1. 1.Macquarie UniversityAustralia

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