Keywords

Introduction

Divorce has become a common phenomenon across the world (Australian Bureau of Statistics, 2021; Gähler et al., 2009; Office for National Statistics, 2022; Statistics New Zealand, 2022; United States Census Bureau, 2022) and affects a substantial proportion of children. However, not all children’s parents are formally married and not all children’s parents formally divorce following separation. Hence, parental separation is also common. While some children readily adjust to their parents’ separation and divorce, other children exhibit difficulty adjusting emotionally and socially and demonstrate poorer academic outcomes when compared with children with married parents (Amato, 2001; Amato & Keith, 1991; Anthony et al., 2014; Eriksen et al., 2017; Fergusson et al., 2014; Schaan & Vogele, 2016; Sigle-Rushton et al., 2014; Song et al., 2012).

Separation and divorce have consequences beyond the family and those consequences may involve teachers. This chapter addresses this gap in the literature by examining the perspectives of separated and divorced parents of what living well means for them and their family in the context of their separation and divorce, and the role of teachers, schools, and early childhood services in assisting them to realise these aspirations.

While separation and divorce are not Australia-specific, this study was undertaken in the Australian context, and therefore will draw on Australian documents. The Alice Springs (Mparntwe) Education Declaration (Australian Government Department of Education, 2019) from Australia outlines the vision for an education system that encourages and supports every student to be the best they can, regardless of any challenges they may face. Of relevance to children experiencing parental separation and divorce, the Alice Springs (Mparntwe) Education Declaration highlights a shared responsibility of parents, carers, families, and the broader community to hold high expectations for children’s educational outcomes. Each State and Territory in Australia has a governmental educational body that translates these laws and national policies into state policies to guide practice. However, a review of these state policies revealed a virtual absence of policy that specifically addressed the day-to-day needs of children and families experiencing parental separation and divorce to inform practice. Rather, policies focused more generally on student wellbeing, child protection and mandatory reporting, health, inclusive education, and dealing with family law issues. Few policies specifically referred to separated and divorced families. Those that mentioned separation and divorce take a reactive stance referring to managing student behaviour or managing family law issues when they arose, rather than being proactive and acknowledging that children and families experiencing separation and divorce have unique needs for communication and collaboration with teachers, schools, and early childhood services. Furthermore, these policies are directed, generally, towards school and early childhood service leadership and administrative issues, rather than informing teachers’ daily practice.

While there is much research about the emotional, social, behavioural, and academic effects of separation and divorce and diverse family composition, there is a paucity of research focusing on the nexus with education and how teachers work with children and their families. Studies have revealed teachers valued communication and collaboration with parents experiencing separation and divorce because this enabled teachers to support their children (Cottongim, 2002; Mahony et al., 2015a). The few studies with teachers investigating their work with children and families experiencing separation and divorce showed that when teachers had knowledge of the unique family circumstances, they adjusted their practices to suit the individual needs of children and families (Lee & Walsh, 2004; Mahony et al., 2015a, 2015b; Øverland et al., 2012; Webb & Blond, 1995). Teachers see children for a greater proportion of time each day than any other adult other than children’s parents. Therefore, teachers, schools, and early childhood services are in a strategic position to promote wellbeing and learning in children experiencing parental separation and divorce.

An ecological perspective (Bronfenbrenner, 1979) provides a backcloth to this study. Bronfenbrenner (1979) views the child at the centre of a nested system that has multiple levels affecting the child. The child is part of a larger system that incorporates family, teachers, school community, the wider community, political, cultural, economic, social, educational, and legal influences from wider society, and historical contexts. An ecological perspective helps to understand the social influences on children and families experiencing parental separation and divorce. A well-functioning system post separation and divorce is one that provides for the needs of children, who are at the centre of the system.

Relevant to this study is the influence teachers and families can have on children. Teachers may be able to serve the children in their care and their families if they understand them better. Teachers, schools, and early childhood services endeavour to uphold the aspirations families have for their children and their family and readily support children and families as needed. However, teachers, schools, and early childhood services need to be confident that their practices enable all children and families to flourish regardless of their family circumstances. In some instances, these practices may need adjusting to suit the needs of children and families experiencing parental separation and divorce. First, teachers, schools, and early childhood services need to develop an understanding of what children and families experiencing parental separation and divorce need and want so that they can work with them in ways that support them and promote wellbeing and learning (Mahony et al., 2015a).

The aim of this study is to understand the perspectives of separated and divorced parents in terms of what living well means for them and their family in the context of their separation and divorce, and the role of teachers, schools, and early childhood services in assisting them to realise these aspirations.

The research questions guiding this chapter are

  • What are parents’ aspirations for their children and themselves to live well in the aftermath of separation and divorce?

  • What practices of teachers, schools, and early childhood services impact families’ ability to live well during the process of separation and divorce and into the future? How do practice architectures enable and constrain these practices?

Data and Methods

Participants

Twelve parents were purposefully selected to participate in the project (Warren, 2002). It was considered that parents who were separated or divorced while their children were in the early years of education were the best participants for this study. While the call for parents to participate was open to both mothers and fathers, all parents who volunteered to participate were mothers. Mothers were recruited by advertising through Government family organisations and services dedicated to keeping families safe, well, strong, and connected (e.g. Family Relationships Australia and Family Services Australia) and by snowball sampling whereby participants referred other potential participants to the study.

Semi-structured Interviews

Parents participated in a semi-structured interview either face-to-face or by telephone. Parents were asked to reflect on the past to inform their vision of the future for themselves and their children. Parents were asked what it means for them to live well, and what they consider is a world worth living in for all. Parents were also asked a series of questions about the practices of teachers, schools, or early childhood services to explore what parents considered their children’s teachers could have done to help their children and family, and what they considered teachers could have avoided that was not helpful for their children and their family at this time.

Data Analysis

The research questions created a lens for data analysis. First, data were analysed using thematic analysis to identify themes related to the first research question to understand parents’ aspirations for their children and themselves to live well in the aftermath of separation and divorce. Data were analysed using two phases of coding: initial and intermediate coding (Corbin & Strauss, 2008). During initial coding, interview transcripts were read, and all possible categories were listed. During intermediate coding, these initial categories were grouped together with similar categories to form themes (Corbin & Strauss, 2008). These themes focused on emotional and social wellbeing.

Next, the interview data were analysed to explore the second research question, which was to identify those practices of teachers, schools, and early childhood services that enabled and constrained these families’ ability to live well during the process of separation and divorce. The themes identified from the first research question focused analysis on practices that aligned with the themes of emotional and social wellbeing. Elements of the theory of practice architectures were used to better understand those practices of teachers, schools, and early childhood services that parents considered helpful to promote wellbeing and learning and realise their aspirations for their children and family. To be specific, those practices that ‘enabled’ or had an adverse effect or ‘constrained’ wellbeing and adjustment to their changed family circumstances were identified. Corbin and Strauss (2008), like Kemmis and colleagues (2014), say the broader conditions must be brought into the analysis. For example, it was important to consider the broader conditions that may facilitate, interrupt, or prevent parents experiencing separation and divorce from communicating or collaborating with their children’s teachers, school, and early childhood service to promote wellbeing and adjustment to their changed family circumstances. Considering these causal conditions helps to give broader insight into the phenomenon (Corbin & Strauss, 2008). Kemmis and colleagues (2014) are specific in identifying the cultural-discursive arrangements, that is the language and ideas; material-economic arrangements found in or brought into a site, that is objects and spatial arrangements; and social-political arrangements found in or brought to a site (for example relationships between people, and between people and non-living things) that influence the practices of both teachers/schools and parents. It is considered that when we understand the intricacies of practices and practice architectures, we can focus on strengthening and sustaining those practices that enable wellbeing and learning, and work towards transforming those practices that constrain or pose as a barrier to children and families realising their aspirations to live well in the aftermath of parental separation and divorce. These levels of analysis enabled the researcher to listen deeply to understand mothers’ perceptions of their communication and collaboration with their children’s teachers and schools and their responses of what it means for them in their family context to live well in a world worth living in.

Ethical Considerations

Ethical approval to conduct the study was obtained by the university Human Research Ethics Committee before interviews commenced. Throughout the research process attention was given to treating participants with respect, prevention of harm to individuals, integrity, justice, and obtaining participants’ consent (Bogdan & Knopp-Biklen, 2007; Creswell, 2005; Piper & Simons, 2005). Prior to the commencement of the interview, participants received a detailed participant sheet and completed a consent form (Piper & Simons, 2005) confirming they fully understood the purpose of the study and their role. Participation in the study was voluntary (Long, 2007), and they could withdraw at any time without comment (Creswell, 2005; Williamson, 2007). Participants’ personal details remained confidential, and data gathered remained anonymous (Williamson, 2007). While children were not direct participants in this research, they were the subjects of the interviews. Care was taken to maintain the protection of identities of children (Long, 2007).

Findings: Living Well for Families Experiencing Separation and Divorce

Parents were asked what, for them, it means to live well, and what they consider to be a world worth living in for all. Separated and divorced parents talked holistically with a particular focus on the emotional and social wellbeing of their children and themselves. Lucinda (all names are pseudonyms) talked about “flourishing” and “thriving not surviving”. Parents were overwhelmingly concerned with their children being happy. Mia sums it up, “the biggest thing is to me, my children doing well and they’re happy. That’s the biggest thing…that’s actually the biggest thing. Nothing else matters after that really”. For parents experiencing separation and divorce flourishing and thriving meant for themselves and their children to feel safe, happy, supported, respected and accepted, and socially connected.

Parents reported several aspects that contributed to them realising their aspirations for their children and themselves. These are now discussed in terms of the cultural-discursive, material-economic, and social-political arrangements that enabled or constrained the ability for children and families to flourish and thrive in the aftermath of parental separation and divorce.

Cultural-Discursive Arrangements

Cultural-discursive arrangements refer to the language and communication that enables and constrains how we express ourselves (Kemmis et al., 2014). Parents considered promoting and maintaining open communication between themselves and teachers, and between teachers and children to be imperative to realising optimal emotional and social wellbeing. Parents talked about the importance of maintaining open communication with their children’s teachers so that teachers could understand their family circumstances and offer support when needed. Bella said

I just wanted them [teachers] to know what the situation was, and the fact that it was a big change for my son. I guess my hope would be in case there was any sort of anxiety displayed from my son, that there would be a bit more understanding, a bit more empathy, and try to understand what the cause of that was. I think my intention was to open up the lines of communication, if they were seeing issues … they might bring it to my attention so that I would be aware of it.

Annalise spoke about their specific family circumstance that they wanted the teacher to understand so that they could provide emotional support and adjust their expectations if needed. They said if the teacher knew for example that: “Saturday was a difficult handover with Josh, he was really emotional, then she can expect him to not be completely on his game. He might need a different activity that day, or that morning, a bit more quiet time, or if he starts acting up”. Annalise said that she thought that maintaining open communication with her child’s teacher “helped [the teacher] to be a better teacher for Josh, and then it probably helped her to understand where I was coming from, as well, because I was quite highly anxious at the time”. Annalise felt strongly that it was important to have open communication between family and teachers so that teachers understood the family circumstance and they could be informed and interact in a way that suited their child on that particular day.

Parents relied on teachers maintaining communication with them and alerting them if they noticed any behaviours that were out of the norm for their child. This then enabled them to follow up and provide additional support for their child. Bella said: “when he was in kindergarten and [again at the] end of year 4 we were having the custody issues, the teachers were really, really good; really responsive…about getting in touch when she noticed things that were out of character. Which, for me, was really important. Had she not done that, I feel like I would have been missing out on opportunities to support him at home”.

Many parents were attuned to the impact their separation and divorce may have on their children and that their children may have a period where they feel unsettled. Parents seemed to realise the important role of teachers to provide support for their children at this time. For parents, it was important to maintain communication with teachers so that teachers understood the lived experiences of their children and themselves and interacted with them accordingly.

Parents’ experiences with communication and collaboration with their children’s teachers and schools and early childhood services differed greatly. While some parents were satisfied that their children’s teachers were attuned to their needs and “made a point of regularly checking in” with their child, other parents said that teachers could be “more proactive with communication…in our experience, that [communication] only happens if something goes wrong rather than [being] preventative”. They went on to explain that they had separated and divorced when their child was in preschool. He was now in Year 5 and Ava had “never been asked…I’ve never had an email to say, I’m just checking in, is everything okay…is there anything happening at home that I [the teacher] need to be aware of”. Olivia also commented that it would “be good if there had been…more communication just to check in, is everything okay, rather than thinking there’s been no communication so everything must be okay”. Lucinda too talked about their perceived lack of communication and collaboration between themselves and their child’s teachers. Lucinda said that she “felt as though you were left on your own” at this time when they needed support to alleviate some of the pressure associated with their separation and divorce. She commented:

I felt like the school didn’t really have a handle on what to do or say. There didn’t seem to be a clear policy. The head teacher didn’t call me in and ask me if there was anything I could do, at the time. It was me being very proactive all the time…I think the school didn’t really understand that complexity of emotions that were going on. It’s the emotions of the parent. It’s the emotions of the children. It’s also the physical aspects such as the fatigue levels of not only the parent, but the children, as well. There are financial implications. I had to take on much more – many more –contracts in order to keep the house, which put me under a lot of stress and strain as a parent, because I was also juggling full-time care of the children. The school needed to have a more holistic view of all of those intricacies and pressures.

Isabella offered a suggestion for teachers to check in with parents and children “once a month” and Lucinda suggested “just once a term, [to ask] is there anything I need to know…are there any changes in your family?”

Parents wanted teachers to be proactive and check in regularly with children, even when they appeared to be okay. They found that teachers were sometimes waiting for when “something goes wrong rather than [being] preventative”. Lucinda cautioned teachers not to assume that even though the child appears to be functioning well on the outside that they were okay. She said that teachers “needed to know that the children might seem okay on the outside, but that there was a huge amount going on the inside”. Ava suggested that teachers could ask children something like “is there something that you would like us to share with mum or like us to share with dad”.

Parents wanted their children’s teachers to be proactive in their communication and collaboration so that they could develop an understanding of their unique family circumstances to inform their practices.

Material-Economic Arrangements

Material-economic arrangements are the physical space-time arrangements in the material world that enable or constrain how we do things (Kemmis et al., 2014). Parents felt that the material-economic arrangements of school sites and early childhood services had potential to create sites where families can meet, connect, share, and learn. One role of these sites would be to provide support for children and families during the process of separation and divorce. Parents acknowledged that there were numerous community support services available. However, they were particular to say that they would like support at the school or early childhood site. Mia said they would have liked access to “a counsellor that’s linked in with the education system for parents to talk to if they’re having issues with parenting and school”.

Parents talked about the affordances for parents to network with each other at school and early childhood sites. Lucinda said, “I think the school has to be there…on some levels they have to be there as a support network”. Schools and early childhood sites could provide an informal space for parents with similar experiences to talk and support each other. This parent considered school and early childhood sites to be “the hub of the community” that could provide social support and enable social connection. Lucinda explained “there are layers on layers, on layers of stress and circumstances. I have felt very much buried under those layers at times. As though there is no light above me. That’s been tough, but the only way you get through that is with community. It’s essential”. Lucinda went on to explain how she reflected on her own experiences when she noticed a friend having marital problems and how she would have liked to have someone neutral, but who understood their perspective, to talk to. She went on to explain that “it’s parents like us who’ve been through legal processes [who can provide insight for others in similar situations]…How do you know how to go through an amicable divorce and reduce costs and tension on the whole family? How do you know that if you’ve never been through a divorce?” Lucinda considered their insights useful to share with other parents who had similar experiences to their own.

Lucinda suggested that networking with other parents on the school or early childhood site would have been helpful. She said “you don’t necessarily want to go beyond your school. You don’t necessarily want to go to a counsellor again”. Lucinda acknowledged that they had engaged with family support services but suggested that they wanted something informal where they could seek support at other times. Parents said that school and early childhood sites were familiar and safe spaces where they felt comfortable. It was important for parents to have someone familiar, yet not emotionally connected, for support. Lucinda explained:

I relied so heavily on phone calls with my mum, which put an enormous amount of pressure on her. Yes, she was always there for me, but [she was] too emotionally connected. [School] therefore would’ve been an ideal place. It would’ve been a more objective hub that could’ve provided … a small group for separated or divorced families that wish to connect.

Parents considered schools and early childhood sites to be resources for children and families experiencing separation and divorce. They saw potential for material-economic arrangements whereby a dedicated physical space for families to meet, and where access to information and external services could be provided. Parents saw these sites as the hub of the community where parents themselves could offer support and receive support from other parents in a familiar and non-threatening environment.

Social-Political Arrangements

Social-political arrangements are those social relationships that enable and constrain how we connect with one another, and with non-living things in an ecosystem (Kemmis et al., 2014). Positive relationships were imperative to build and maintain communication and collaboration between parents, children and teachers, schools, and early childhood services.

Many parents commented about the positive relationships teachers had built with children and their parents. Olivia discussed their family circumstances with her child’s teacher and reported that their child’s teacher “responded really well...saying that she would make a point of regularly just checking in with my daughter to make sure she was okay [and] made sure that she can talk to her teacher if she needs to”.

It seemed that there were personal qualities of teachers that enabled the building of positive relationships. Parents described the personal qualities of empathy, understanding, respect that enabled children’s feelings of being safe, happy, supported, respected, and accepted. Bella said:

We felt well-supported because I think there was just that element of empathy and understanding of the situation and understanding that each child’s going to come into the classroom with different set of needs, and different situations that are impacting them. Just that communication, the willingness to talk with the families and try to understand the circumstances, but also without prying too much – it’s sort of like just about having just enough of the information to understand, but you don’t need – they don’t need to know all the details either.

Getting the balance with the amount and type of communication between parents and teachers can be challenging for teachers to promote and maintain positive relationships as every family circumstance is different. Parents said that teachers understanding the family context was important for them to be able to provide the support that they needed. Teachers understanding and having empathy for family circumstance were supportive for parents. Parents talked about the fine balance of knowing just enough about family circumstances to enable teachers to provide support without overstepping the professional boundary.

However, this was not always the case. Annalise talked about an incident where she felt the teacher stepped over the professional boundary. Annalise recalled a time when her son’s teacher “had this really in-depth kind of D and M [deep and meaningful conversation] with me, and I just remember feeling like, I don’t know if I want to do that again...It got a bit too personal...I was getting counselling through Lifeline as well at this time, so I didn’t need someone to counsel me”.

While perhaps well-meaning, on this occasion, this teacher stepped over the professional boundary. This is not surprising as previous research found that teachers were unsure of how to talk to and interact with children and families experiencing parental separation and divorce (Mahony et al., 2015b). This current study echoes the findings and recommendations of other studies that called for teachers to have professional learning to inform their daily work with children and families experiencing parental separation and divorce (Mahony et al., 2015a, 2015b). It is imperative for teachers, schools, and early childhood staff to have knowledge of the unique family circumstances so that they can support them to promote social and emotional wellbeing of their children.

Parents perceived the personal qualities of individual teachers to either be enabling or constraining positive relationships in their communication and collaboration between school and home which, in turn, could enable or constrain children’s adjustment to their changed family circumstances. Bella compared her experience with different teachers throughout the process of their separation and divorce. In this instance, she was grateful that her son had particular teachers when their family situation became more intense. She said:

Had those transitions happened in other years with other teachers, I suspect the outcome would have been much different. But those two particular teachers were really good at communicating…If this had happened in different years, I think it would have been a disaster, but I think it just depends on the individual teacher and their communication styles, and their willingness to develop those relationships with families. Because, for example, my son’s year three teacher, I never even set foot in the classroom. There were no opportunities to be involved. There was no – there was just no communication whatsoever. It was very shutdown. I’m just grateful that he was more settled at that stage. Because I think it would have been really difficult for him. But luckily, the two teachers during those key points were really good.

While it is pleasing to note the positive outcome for this parent, the missed opportunities for other teachers they described to be influential in promoting wellbeing is concerning.

In terms of living well in a world worth living in, parents experiencing separation and divorce overwhelmingly talked about reducing the stigma associated with being separated and divorced, and normalising separation and divorce. Annalise refrained from communicating with their child’s teacher because she “just wanted her [teacher] to think [we were a] happy family”. Lucinda commented “in terms of what’s a world worth living in... sensitivity and tolerance for others... I think there is still a huge amount of stigma” associated with separation and divorce. Celine wanted teachers to understand their family situation and not pass judgement. Celine talked about how her child’s father was not involved in their life and the persistence of the school to communicate with both parents. She commented that having to continually explain her family situation “was kind of a re-shaming for me” suggesting that she had failed because her relationship with her child’s father had failed. She said “just by the asking of those questions, let alone having the ohs, and the raised eyebrows… I felt like I was being judged”. For parents, the stigma they felt from being separated and divorced posed a barrier to them realising their aspiration of social and emotional wellbeing for themselves and their children.

Reducing the stigma associated with parental separation and divorce requires normalising the phenomenon rather than considering children and families that are separated and divorced as the minority. Olivia reflected and said, “one of the things that’s helped my daughter is her best friend in the classroom also comes from – her parents are separated… this is something that may help her adjust to knowing that she’s not the only child”. She went on to say, “even if parents aren’t living together, you’re still a family and that sort of thing, because separation is so common these days”. Olivia pointed out that diverse family forms were in fact the norm in the modern day and that separated and divorced families were no longer the minority. However, many practices in the present day remain as they were prior to societal changes over the past 50 years such as the introduction of the no fault divorce (Clarke-Stewart & Brentano, 2006; Schoen & Canudas-Romo, 2006). Cohabitation is no longer considered deviant, and it is generally more widely accepted (Poole, 2005). Policies and practices in schools and early childhood services need to be transformed to truly meet the changing needs of the modern family and destigmatise separated and divorced families.

Social-political arrangements also refer to the relationships between people and non-living things in an ecosystem. In many instances the institution of school or early childhood service and the relationships that these sites enabled contributed to families reporting that children feeling safe, happy, supported, respected, and accepted. At times when family life was undergoing change, early childhood services and schools provided stability with their predictable routines and arrangements. Schools and early childhood services are predictable sites that bring together children of similar ages and their parents. Mia summed it up “school was always a bit of a safe place. They had their friends…and it always stayed the same so that was good... he had that continuity of school and his friends, and he went through school quite well”. For this family, the predictability of routines and arrangements of schools and the relationships made at school provided support for their children during the process of separation and divorce. While their home life was changing at this time, they could feel safe and secure and confident that the school environment would remain predictable. This was important for children experiencing parental separation and divorce and research has showed that structure in education settings creates an environment where children can thrive (Øverland et al., 2012).

While schools and early childhood services provided a predictable setting for children and families undergoing changes in their home lives, they also had the capacity for flexibility to meet the needs of individual children and their families. Parents commended the flexibility of many aspects of school routine such as arrangements around parent-teacher interviews for different families. Parents commented on having separate parent-teacher interviews because their relationship had deteriorated and they “just can’t be in the same room as each other” whereas other parents “go to the interviews together”. Olivia said that the school was “accommodating in that, if they need to do two separate interviews they will”. This suggests that parents appreciated that each child and family response to separation and divorce is unique which requires different interaction from teachers and schools and early childhood services. In a previous study, teachers also talked about the need to consider the child’s unique characteristics and family circumstances to personalise pedagogical practices to fit the specific need of the child and family (Mahony et al., 2015b).

Discussion and Conclusion

This study exemplified the need for enhancement of school and early childhood service culture and policy that focuses on families experiencing parental separation and divorce. Parents in this study wholeheartedly agreed that schools and early childhood services play an important role in facilitating parents to realise their aspirations for themselves and their family. To do this, policy needs to encourage and support partnerships between families, teachers, school, and early childhood service that facilitate open communication and collaboration, mutual respect, and support. Prior studies revealed that parents valued communication and collaboration with their children’s teachers and schools (Cottongim, 2002); however, this current study and the previous study with teachers in this program of research (Mahony et al., 2015a) revealed that these collaborations were somewhat ad-hoc. Policy is needed that promotes regular communication with parents and teachers checking-in with each other at times when they notice behaviour that is out of the norm for the child but also at times when they appear to be adjusting well, as well as teachers checking in with children.

A school culture and policy that enacts the Alice Springs (Mparntwe) Education Declaration (Australian Government Department of Education, 2019) and implies an attitude of shared responsibility and a willingness to collaborate in a context of mutual respect and support where all players are working towards the benefit of the children is suggested. Such policy needs to consider children and families as having unique needs. Policy needs to have a holistic view of the child so that the emotional and social aspects of wellbeing are considered rather than only academic performance.

When a policy existed (e.g. school homework policy), parents talked about the rigidity of the policy. Parents suggested that school administrators ensured these policies and practices were followed because that has always been the way it has been done. There seemed to be little consideration of whether these policies and practices remained relevant for the current cohort of students and their families. While policies need to provide explicit guidance for practice, they also need to provide flexibility to accommodate the varying needs of individual children and families at various point-in-time.

Viewing children through an ecological lens highlights the multiple social influences affecting their social and emotional wellbeing. In the instance of parental separation and divorce the connections between children, families, teachers, schools, and early childhood services are emphasised. Children and parents have unique experiences in the home with separation and divorce, and so too do the practice architectures in each school and early childhood site differ. Therefore, the lived experiences reported in this chapter from parents are unique and have been shaped by many influences. While I have attempted to arrive at common themes, it is not to discount the lived experiences of those parents who do not share these experiences. That is not to say that they are wrong, rather their family’s way of doing things and the school’s and early childhood service’s way of doing things are unique. What is common between all the parents in this study, however, is the desire for their children and themselves to flourish and thrive, to be safe, happy, supported, respected and accepted, and socially connected so that they can live their best lives.

The experiences of the parents in this current study are invaluable to glean those practices of teachers, schools, and early childhood services that enabled them to live well during the process of separation and divorce and what the nexus between home and family, and school and early childhood service might look like to facilitate living well in a world worth living in. For families experiencing separation and divorce this involves open communication, adjusting expectations; providing physical space to meet, connect, share, and learn, building and maintaining positive relationships, empathetic and respectful teachers, and reducing the stigma associated with separation and divorce. This chapter has illuminated how teachers and other school and early childhood staff can say things well, do things well, and relate well to children and families experiencing parental separation and divorce to promote wellbeing and learning. However, practices are like living things that morph and change to suit the unique situation. As was shown in this chapter, each family context is different, children and parents have different experiences with separation and divorce; this necessitates changing practices that match the unique family circumstances. The experiences of parents regarding their collaboration and communication with their children’s teachers, schools, and early childhood service were instrumental for forming and/or transforming the practice architectures at the site. This study helps us understand the impact of our practices and how we can transform practices to move towards creating a world worth living in for all.