History of Courtship and Marriage in Japan

Abstract

The marriage pattern in Japan developed from group/horde marriages in primitive times to the tsumadoi-kon (the groom commuted to the bride’s residence), to the muko-in (the groom lived with the bride family) during the aristocracy, and to the yome-in (women marrying into men’s families) under the Bushi ruling. It was only after the Meiji era that Japanese marriage changed to the Yoriai pattern based on the mutual consent of the marriage partners.

Then, two types of mate selection emerged: the arranged (miai) and the romantic marriage (ren-ai). In the arranged marriage, the go-between (nakoudo) conducted formal interviews, providing the young with opportunities to meet possible partners. During the early stage of Japanese modernization, miai was the predominant pattern, but that has switched, with ren-ai now the dominant pattern.

Recently, young Japanese have had difficulty finding ideal marriage partners; hence, there emerged a nationwide phenomenon of the delayed marriage. Furthermore, many Japanese men and women remain single their entire lives (1920, about 2 % for both men and women; 2010, 20 % for men and 11 % for women). Extremely high rates for lifetime bachelors and bachelorettes today are a major reason for fertility decline. Single mothers are not yet an accepted social norm in Japan. Births to unmarried mothers in Japan today are extremely low in comparison to other industrial nations. It could be due to factors within Japanese society and culture.

Increasing prevalence of de facto partnerships may prompt us to say that the coming of the second demographic change in Japan is in order. However, it would be premature to say that the pattern of the partnership formation in Japan has shifted to the second demographic transition with nonmarital cohabitation. It is because the dual structural nature of Japanese society and culture sustains the traditional family culture in the minds of even the young people in Japan today. Upon giving births to their first babies, cohabiting couples are most likely to resolve their cohabiting unions by the traditional marriage.

Attempting to provide young people with mate selection opportunities, various kon-katsu services (mate-seeking activities) have been established by local municipal offices, commercial matchmaking agencies, and machi-kon (township companionship activities which encourage meeting of the sexes, in groups). Furthermore, the current government will extend monetary support to marriage services organized by municipal offices effective in the 2014 fiscal year.

Marriage is an ongoing process at which two individuals must work. There are no perfect relationships. A marriage is the product of mutual understanding and the efforts of two persons. Single people wishing to get married should try to find a better half, rather than the best, through positive participations in kon-katsu activities.