Establishing Social Inclusion the Autism Way: Denying the “They Don’t Want Friends” Myth

Bennett, Matthew; Webster, Amanda A.; Goodall, Emma; Rowland, Susannah

doi:10.1007/978-981-13-3359-0_9

Establishing Social Inclusion the Autism Way: Denying the “They Don’t Want Friends” Myth

Matthew Bennett⁵,
Amanda A. Webster⁶,
Emma Goodall⁷ &
Susannah Rowland⁸

Chapter
First Online: 02 January 2019

1369 Accesses
5 Citations

Abstract

Autistic individuals experience difficulties in social communication as well as differences in social-cognitive processing. These skills are required for successful interpretation of social cues and utilisation of non-verbal communication during social interactions. In addition, restricted interests often mean that autistic children and adults are not as flexible in their leisure interests and conversation topics as their neurotypical peers. These challenges may cause autistic children and adults to experience frustration and negative consequences when they attempt to engage in interactions and form social relationships with others, particularly with those who are not autistic. This has led some autistic individuals to feel that engaging in social relationships with others is “too hard” and has perpetuated the common misperception that autistic people do not want friends. This chapter will examine the foundations of this myth as well as the research that has described the social relationships and friendships experienced by autistic individuals across different age groups. The characteristics of successful friendships and relationships will be explored, and the features of conducive environments to facilitate friendships will be identified. Finally, recommendations will be made to help create the right environments to support individuals with autism to form good relationships with both autistic and neurotypical peers in school and community settings.

Keywords

Peer-mediated supports
Social communication
Social relationships
Special interests

This is a preview of subscription content, access via your institution.

Chapter: USD 29.95; Price excludes VAT (USA)

eBook: USD 59.99; Price excludes VAT (USA)

Hardcover Book: USD 79.99; Price excludes VAT (USA)

Learn about institutional subscriptions

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders—Fifth edition. Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Publishing.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Asperger, H. (1944). Die “Autistischen Psychopathen” im Kindesalter. Archiv für psychiatrie und nervenkrankheiten, 117(1), 76–136.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Aylott, J. (2000). Understanding children with autism: Exploding the myths. British Journal of Nursing, 9(2), 779–784. https://doi.org/10.12968/bjon.2000.9.12.6248.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Barned, N. E., Knapp, N. F., & Neuharth-Pritchett, S. (2011). Knowledge and attitudes of early childhood preservice teachers regarding the inclusion of children with autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Early Childhood Teacher Education, 32(4), 302–321. https://doi.org/10.1080/10901027.2011.622235.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Bauminger, N., & Shulman, C. (2003). The development and maintenance of friendship in high-functioning children with autism. Autism, 7(1), 81–97. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361303007001007.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Bauminger, N., Shulman, C., & Agam, G. (2004). The link between perceptions of self and of social relationships in high-functioning children with autism. Journal of Developmental and Physical Disabilities, 16(2), 193–214. https://doi.org/10.1023/b:jodd.0000026616.24896.c8.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Bauminger, N., Solomon, M., Aviezer, A., Heung, K., Gazit, L., Brown, J., et al. (2008). Children with autism and their friends: A multidimensional study of friendship in high-functioning autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 36(2), 135–150. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10802-007-9156-x.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Broderick, A. A., & Ne’eman, A. (2008). Autism as metaphor: Narrative and counter-narrative. International Journal of Inclusive Education, 12(5–6), 459–476. https://doi.org/10.1080/13603110802377490.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Brownlow, C., Bertilsdotter Rosqvist, H., & O’Dell, L. (2015). Exploring the potential for social networking among people with autism: Challenging dominant ideas of ‘friendship’. Scandinavian Journal of Disability Research, 17(2), 188–193. https://doi.org/10.1080/15017419.2013.859174.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Bukowski, W. M., Hoza, B., & Boivin, M. (1994). Measuring friendship quality during pre and early adolescence: The development and psychometric properties of the friendship qualities scale. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 11(3), 471–484. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407594113011.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Calder, L., Hill, V., & Pellicano, E. (2013). ‘Sometimes I want to play by myself’: Understanding what friendship means to children with autism in mainstream primary schools. Autism, 17(3), 296–316. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361312467866.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Causton-Theoharis, J., Ashby, C., & Cosier, M. (2009). Islands of loneliness: Exploring social interaction through the autobiographies of individuals with autism. Journal of Intellectual and Developmental Disability, 47(2), 84–96. https://doi.org/10.1352/1934-9556-47.2.84.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Chamberlain, B., Kasari, C., & Rotheram-Fuller, E. (2007). Involvement or isolation? The social networks of children with autism in regular classrooms. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 37(2), 230–242. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-006-0164-4.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Chang, Y. C., Shih, W., & Kasari, C. (2016). Friendships in preschool children with autism spectrum disorder: What holds them back, child characteristics or teacher behavior? Autism, 20(1), 65–74. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361314567761.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Cook, A., Ogden, J., & Winstone, N. (2018). Friendship motivations, challenges and the role of masking for girls with autism in contrasting school settings. European Journal of Special Needs Education, 33(3), 302–315. https://doi.org/10.1080/08856257.2017.1312797.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Costley, D., Baldwin, S., & Bruck, S. (2016). Shining a light on the autism spectrum: Experiences and aspirations of adults. New York: Taylor & Francis.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Croen, L. A., Zerbo, O., Qian, Y., Massolo, M. L., Rich, S., Sidney, S., et al. (2015). The health status of adults on the autism spectrum. Autism, 19(7), 814–823. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361315577517.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Daniel, L. S., & Billingsley, B. S. (2010). What boys with an autism spectrum disorder say about establishing and maintaining friendships. Focus on Autism and Other Developmental Disabilities, 25(4), 220–229. https://doi.org/10.1177/1088357610378290.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Davidson, J. (2008). ‘In a World of her Own…’: Re-presenting alienation and emotion in the lives and writings of women with autism. Gender, Place & Culture, 14(6), 659–677. https://doi.org/10.1080/09663690701659135.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Eaves, L. C., & Ho, H. H. (2008). Young adult outcomes of autism spectrum disorders. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 38(4), 739–747. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-007-0441-x.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Finke, E. H. (2016). Friendship: Operationalizing the intangible to improve friendship-based outcomes for individuals with autism spectrum disorder. American Journal of Speech-Language Pathology, 25(4), 654–663. https://doi.org/10.1044/2016_ajslp-15-0042.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Frith, U. (2003). Autism: Explaining the enigma (2nd ed.). Malden, MA; Oxford: Blackwell.
Google Scholar
Gottman, J. M. (1983). How children become friends. Monographs for the Society for Research in Child Development, 48(3), 1–82.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Greydanus, D. E., & Toledo-Pereyra, L. H. (2012). Historical perspectives on autism: Its past record of discovery and its present state of solipsism, skepticism, and sorrowful suspicion. Pediatric Clinics of North America, 59(1), 1–11. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pcl.2011.10.004.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Grinker, R. R. (2010). Commentary: On being autistic, and social. Journal of the Society for Psychological Anthropology, 38(1), 172–178. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1548-1352.2009.01087.x.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Head, A. M., McGillivray, J. A., & Stokes, M. A. (2014). Gender differences in emotionality and sociability in chidlren with autism spectrum disorders. Molecular Autism, 5(19). https://doi.org/10.1186/2040-2392-5-19.
CrossRef PubMed PubMed Central Google Scholar
Holton, A. E. (2013). What’s wrong with Max? Parenthood and the portrayal of autism spectrum disorders. Journal of Communication Inquiry, 37(1), 45–63. https://doi.org/10.1177/0196859912472507.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Holton, A. E., Farrell, L. C., & Fudge, J. L. (2014). A threatening space?: Stigmatization and the framing of autism in the news. Communication Studies, 65(2), 189–207. https://doi.org/10.1080/10510974.2013.855642.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Howard, B., Cohn, E., & Orsmond, G. I. (2006). Understanding and negotiating friendships: Perspectives from an adolescent with Asperger syndrome. Autism, 10(6), 619–627. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361306068508.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Howes, C. (1983). Patterns of friendship. Child Development, 54, 1041–1053.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Howes, C. (1996). The earliest friendships. In W. M. Bukowski, A. F. Newcomb, & W. W. Hartup (Eds.), The company they keep: Friendship in childhood and adolescence (pp. 66–86). New York: Cambridge University Press.
Google Scholar
Howlin, P., & Magiati, I. (2017). Autism spectrum disorder: Outcomes in adulthood. Current Opinion in Psychiatry, 30(2), 69–76. https://doi.org/10.1097/yco.0000000000000308.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Howlin, P., & Moss, P. (2012). Adults with autism spectrum disorders. Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 57(5), 275–283. https://doi.org/10.1177/070674371205700502.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Humphrey, N., & Lewis, S. (2008). ‘Make me normal’: The views and experiences of pupils on the autistic spectrum in mainstream secondary schools. Autism, 12(1), 23–46. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361307085267.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Humphrey, N., & Symes, W. (2010). Perceptions of social support and experience of bullying among pupils with autistic spectrum disorders in mainstream secondary schools. European Journal of Special Needs Education, 25(1), 77–91. https://doi.org/10.1080/08856250903450855.
CrossRef Google Scholar
John, R., Knott, F. J., & Harvey, K. N. (2018). Myths about autism: An exploratory study using focus groups. Autism, 22(7), 845–854. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361317714990.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Kanner, L. (1943). Autistic disturbances of affective contact. Nervous Child, 2(3), 217–250.
Google Scholar
Kasari, C., Locke, J., Gulsrud, A., & Rotheram-Fuller, E. (2011). Social networks and friendships at school: Comparing children with and without ASD. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 41(5), 533–544. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-010-1076-x.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Knott, F., Dunlop, A. W., & Mackay, T. (2006). Living with ASD: How do children and their parents assess their difficulties with social interaction and understanding? Autism, 10(6), 609–617. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361306068510.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Kuo, M. H., Orsmond, G. I., Cohn, E. S., & Coster, W. J. (2011). Friendship characteristics and activity patterns of adolescents with an autism spectrum disorder. Autism, 17(4), 481–500. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361311416380.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Ladd, G. W. (1988). Friendship patterns and peer status during early and middle childhood. Development and Behavioral Pediatrics, 9(4), 229–238. https://doi.org/10.1097/00004703-198808000-00010.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Mazurek, M. O. (2013). Social media use among adults with autism spectrum disorders. Computers in Human Behavior, 29(4), 1709–1714. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2013.02.004.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Mazurek, M. O. (2014). Loneliness, friendship, and well-being in adults with autism spectrum disorders. Autism, 18(3), 223–232. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361312474121.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Meyer, L. H., Minondo, S., Fisher, M., Larson, M. J., Dunmore, S., Black, J. W., et al. (1998). Frames of friendship: Social relationships among adolescents with diverse abilities. In L. H. Meyer, H.-S. Park, M. Grenot-Scheyer, I. S. Schwartz, & B. Harry (Eds.), Making friends: The influences of culture and development (pp. 189–221). Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes.
Google Scholar
Milton, D. E. M. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: The ‘double empathy problem’. Disability & Society, 27(6), 883–887. https://doi.org/10.1080/09687599.2012.710008.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Müller, E., Schuler, A., & Yates, G. B. (2008). Social challenges and supports from the perspective of individuals with Asperger syndrome and other autism spectrum disabilities. Autism, 12(2), 173–190. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361307086664.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Newcomb, A. F., & Bagwell, C. L. (1996). The developmental significance of children’s friendship relations. In W. M. Bukowski, A. F. Newcomb, & W. W. Hartup (Eds.), The company they keep: Friendship in childhood and adolescence (pp. 289–321). New York: Cambridge University Press.
Google Scholar
O’Hagan, S., & Hebron, J. (2017). Perceptions of friendship among adolescents with autism spectrum conditions in a mainstream high school resource provision. European Journal of Special Needs Education, 32(3), 314–328. https://doi.org/10.1080/08856257.2016.1223441.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Orsmond, G. I., Krauss, M. W., & Seltzer, M. M. (2004). Peer relationships and social and recreational activities among adolescents and adults with autism. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 34(3), 245–256. https://doi.org/10.1023/b:jadd.0000029547.96610.df.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Orsmond, G. I., Shattuck, P. T., Cooper, B. P., Sterzing, P. R., & Anderson, K. A. (2013). Social participation among young adults with an autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 43(11), 2710–2719. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-013-1833-8.
CrossRef PubMed PubMed Central Google Scholar
Parker, J. G., & Asher, S. R. (1993). Friendship and friendship quality in middle childhood: Links with peer group acceptance and feelings of loneliness and social dissatisfaction. Developmental Psychology, 29, 611–621. https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.29.4.611.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Petrina, N., Carter, M., & Stephenson, J. (2014). The nature of friendship in children with autism spectrum disorders: A systematic review. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 8(2), 111–126. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.rasd.2013.10.016.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Petrina, N., Carter, M., & Stephenson, J. (2015). Parental perception of the importance of friendship and other outcome priorities in children with autism spectrum disorder. European Journal of Special Needs Education, 30(1), 61–74. https://doi.org/10.1080/08856257.2014.943566.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Petrina, N., Carter, M., Stephenson, J., & Sweller, N. (2016). Perceived friendship quality of children with autism spectrum disorder as compared to their peers in mixed and non-mixed dyads. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 46(4), 1334–1343. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-015-2673-5.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Rowley, E., Chandler, S., Baird, G., Simonoff, E., Pickles, A., Loucas, T., et al. (2012). The experience of friendship, victimization and bullying in children with an autism spectrum disorder: Associations with child characteristics and school placement. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 6(3), 1126–1134. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.rasd.2012.03.004.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Sarrett, J. C. (2011). Trapped children: Popular images of children with autism in the 1960s and 2000s. Journal of Medical Humanities, 32(2), 141–153. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10912-010-9135-z.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Sebastian, C., Blakemore, S. J., & Charman, T. (2009). Reactions to ostracism in adolescents with autism spectrum conditions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 39(8), 1122–1130. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-009-0725-4.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Sedgewick, F., Hill, V., Yates, R., Pickering, L., & Pellicano, E. (2016). Gender differences in the social motivation and friendship experiences of autistic and non-autistic adolescents. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 46(4), 1297–1306. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-015-2669-1.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Sreckovic, M. A., Hume, K., & Able, H. (2017). Examining the efficacy of peer network interventions on the social interactions of high school students with autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47(8), 2556–2574. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3171-8.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Underwood, M. K. (2007). Introduction to the special issue gender and children’s friendships: Do girls’ and boys’ friendships constitute different peer cultures, and what are the trade-offs for development? Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 53(3), 319–324.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Vermeulen, P. (2014). The practice of promoting happiness in autism. Promoting happiness and wellbeing in autism. Birmingham: British Institute of Learning Difficulties.
Google Scholar
Vincent, J., Potts, M., Fletcher, D., Hodges, S., Howells, J., Mitchell, A., … Ledger, T. (2016). ‘I think autism is like running on Windows while everyone else is a Mac’: Using a participatory action research approach with students on the autistic spectrum to rearticulate autism and the lived experience of university. Educational Action Research, 25(2), 300–315. https://doi.org/10.1080/09650792.2016.1153978.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Vine Foggo, R. S., & Webster, A. A. (2017). Understanding the social experiences of adolescent females on the autism spectrum. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 35, 74–85. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.rasd.2016.11.006.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Webster, A. A., & Carter, M. (2010). Observations of relationships between children with developmental disabilities and peers in inclusive settings. Special Education Perspectives, 19(2), 7–23.
Google Scholar
Webster, A. A., & Carter, M. (2012a). Characteristics of the closest relationships between children with developmental disabilities and peers in inclusive settings. Australasian Journal of Special Education, 34(01), 61–78. https://doi.org/10.1375/ajse.34.1.61.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Webster, A. A., & Carter, M. (2012b). A descriptive examination of the types of relationships formed between children with developmental disability and their closest peers in inclusive school settings. Journal of Intellectual and Developmental Disability, 38(1), 1–11. https://doi.org/10.3109/13668250.2012.743650.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Webster, A. A., & Carter, M. (2012c). Mutual liking, enjoyment, and shared interactions in the closest relationships between children with developmental disabilities and peers in inclusive school settings. Journal of Developmental and Physical Disabilities, 25(4), 373–393. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10882-012-9319-8.
CrossRef Google Scholar
Webster, A. A., & Garvis, S. (2017a). The importance of critical life moments: An explorative study of successful women with autism spectrum disorder. Autism, 21(6), 670–677. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361316677719.
CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar
Webster, A. A., & Garvis, S. (2017b). Creating success fo men on the autism spectrum: The role of identity and logic. Paper presented at the Asia Pacific Autism Conference: Growing with Autism (7–9 September), Autism Spectrum Australia, Sydney, Australia.
Google Scholar
Werling, D. M., & Geschwind, D. H. (2013). Sex differences in autism spectrum disorders. Current Opinion in Neurology, 26(2), 146–153. https://doi.org/10.1097/wco.0b013e32835ee548.
CrossRef PubMed PubMed Central Google Scholar
White, M. L., Smith, J. D., Smith, T. E. C., & Stodden, R. A. (2012). Autism spectrum disorders: Historical, legislative and current perspectives. In D. Zager, M. L. Wehmeyer, & R. L. Simpson (Eds.), Educating students with autism spectrum disorders (pp. 3–12). New York: Routledge.
Google Scholar
Wolfberg, P., Bottema-Beutel, K., & DeWitt, M. (2012). Including children with autism in social and imaginary play with typical peers: Integrated play groups model. American Journal of Play, 5(1), 55.
Google Scholar
Wolfberg, P. J. (2009). Play and imagination in children with autism. Overland Park, KS: Autism Asperger.
Google Scholar

Download references

Author information

Authors and Affiliations

University of Wollongong, Wollongong, NSW, Australia
Matthew Bennett
University of Wollongong, Wollongong, NSW, Australia
Amanda A. Webster
University of Wollongong, Wollongong, NSW, Australia
Emma Goodall
University of Wollongong, Wollongong, NSW, Australia
Susannah Rowland

Authors

Matthew Bennett
View author publications
You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar
Amanda A. Webster
View author publications
You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar
Emma Goodall
View author publications
You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar
Susannah Rowland
View author publications
You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

Corresponding author

Correspondence to Matthew Bennett .

Rights and permissions

Reprints and Permissions

Copyright information

About this chapter

Cite this chapter

Bennett, M., Webster, A.A., Goodall, E., Rowland, S. (2018). Establishing Social Inclusion the Autism Way: Denying the “They Don’t Want Friends” Myth. In: Life on the Autism Spectrum. Springer, Singapore. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-13-3359-0_9

Download citation

DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-13-3359-0_9
Published: 02 January 2019
Publisher Name: Springer, Singapore
Print ISBN: 978-981-13-3358-3
Online ISBN: 978-981-13-3359-0
eBook Packages: Behavioral Science and PsychologyBehavioral Science and Psychology (R0)