Marital Discord and Childbirth: Increasing Conflicts in New Parents

Abstract

The birth of the first baby often impacts the quality of the marital relationship for both parents. Interpersonal relationships change, which requires adjustment to the new situation of becoming parents in addition to the challenges that new parenthood brings. Generally, the experiences with the family of origin are brought into the relationship by each parent, impacting marital quality. Studies of the intergenerational transmission of marital quality during the transition to parenthood, reveal that couples with negative recollection of their family of origin marriages show more negative changes. In other words husbands’ and wives’ recollection of their family of origin marriage appear to predict the changes in their marital quality. It appears that fathers with a high-quality family of origin marriage have higher overall marital satisfaction and a better communication pattern. Similarly, mothers who recollect positive family of origin marriages report no increases in conflict. Several different factors have been proposed to explain this intergenerational transmission of negative marital quality and/or divorce. Social learning patterns play a strong role, and modelling oneself after their parents’ marriage is another factor. Increased stressful experiences during transitioning to parenthood are an important consideration which may explain some of the difficulties a young couple may experience as they embark on parenthood. It is also possible that the actual roles that some of the grandparents are able to play in the life of their new family may affect the course of the parental partnership. This was partly true in the case of Melissa and Rico, as Rico’s parents continued to be actively involved in the raising of Susie. Melissa was afraid that a similar pattern would evolve in her own marriage, that is, that Rico would continue to expect non-assertive behaviour. In addition, Melissa was worried that her little girl may be affected by such an environment that persisted in Rico’s parents’ household. She wanted to break away from that pattern of parental relationship.