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Parenting Elders: Finitude, Gratitude, and Grace

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Parenting as Spiritual Practice and Source for Theology
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Abstract

Recognizing the urgent social need for elder care, this chapter opens with autobiographical narratives of caring for parents and partner, caring long-distance and full-time. The narratives generate theological reflection on themes of finitude, gratitude, and grace. Parenting elders intensifies the realities of finitude; yet, the very experience of limits can open new depths of gratitude – gratitude for each day, for memories, and for opportunities to practice love. Both finitude and gratitude point to the grace of God. Only God’s grace can generate the strength, insight, and sense of blessing that people need as they offer care. The chapter concludes with spiritual practices that flow from the theological themes: centering on precious moments, choosing thankfulness, and receiving grace.

My own narratives are shaped by my unique experience as a white professional woman with parents who lived well into my adulthood and a spouse of forty years. Others’ experiences will differ from mine, but each narrative is imbued with rich meaning.

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Notes

  1. 1.

    This chapter does not involve a literature review, but some sources on older adults in relation to ministry are: William M. Clements, Ministry with the Aging: Designs, Challenges, Foundations (New York: Haworth, 1989); Dosia Carlson, Engaging in Ministry with Older Adults (Bethesda, MD: Alban Institute, 1997); Lois D. Knutson, Understanding the Senior Adult: A Tool for Wholistic Ministry (Bethesda, MD: Alban Institute, 1999); and Richard H. Gentzler, Aging and Ministry in the 21st Century (Nashville, TN: Discipleship Resources, 2008).

  2. 2.

    The one exception was the sixth day when God provided manna for two days so the people would not have to gather on the Sabbath (Exodus 16:24–26).

  3. 3.

    The relationship between spiritual growth and the experiences of trauma and post-trauma has been studied in a wide range of contexts. Some of that work is found in: P.A. Linley and S. Joseph, “Positive Change Following Trauma and Adversity: A Review,” Journal of Traumatic Stress 17, no. 1 (2004): 11–21; A. Shaw, S. Joseph, and P.A. Linley, “Religion, Spirituality, and Postttraumatic Growth: A Systematic Review,” Mental Health, Religion & Culture 8, no. 1 (2005): 1–11; B.S. Cole, C.M. Hopkins, J. Tisak, J.L. Steel, and B.I. Catt, “Assessing Spiritual Growth and Spiritual Decline Following a Diagnosis of Cancer: Reliability and Validity of the Spiritual Transformation Scale,” Psycho-Oncology 17, no. 2 (2008): 112–121; E. Lawson, “A Gender Comparison of Resiliency among Older African American Katrina Survivors,” Western Journal of Black Studies 34, no. 4 (2010): 457–470; K. A. O’Grady, D.G. Rollison, T.S. Hanna, H. Schreiber-Pan, and M.A. Ruiz, “Earthquake in Haiti: Relationship with the Sacred in Times of Trauma,” Journal of Psychology and Theology 40, no. 4 (2012): 289–301.

  4. 4.

    Abraham Joshua Heschel, The Wisdom of Heschel, trans. Ruth M. Goodhill (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1986), 105.

  5. 5.

    Ibid., 104.

  6. 6.

    Ibid., 104–105.

  7. 7.

    Ibid., 115.

  8. 8.

    Mary Elizabeth Moore, Teaching as a Sacramental Act (Cleveland, OH: Pilgrim, 2004).

  9. 9.

    Henri J.M. Nouwen, Bread for the Journey: A Daybook of Wisdom and Faith (New York: HarperCollins, 1996), 6.

References

  • Carlson, Dosia. Engaging in Ministry with Older Adults. Bethesda, MD: Alban Institute, 1997.

    Google Scholar 

  • Clements, William M. Ministry with the Aging: Designs, Challenges, Foundations. New York: Haworth, 1989.

    Google Scholar 

  • Cole, B. S., C.M. Hopkins, J. Tisak, J.L. Steel, and B.I. Catt. “Assessing Spiritual Growth and Spiritual Decline Following a Diagnosis of Cancer: Reliability and Validity of the Spiritual Transformation Scale.” Psycho-Oncology 17, no. 2 (2008): 112–121.

    Google Scholar 

  • Gentzler, Richard H. Aging and Ministry in the 21st Century. Nashville, TN: Discipleship Resources, 2008.

    Google Scholar 

  • Heschel, Abraham Joshua. The Wisdom of Heschel. Translated by Ruth M. Goodhill. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1986.

    Google Scholar 

  • Knutson, Lois D. Understanding the Senior Adult: A Tool for Wholistic Ministry. Bethesda, MD: Alban Institute, 1999.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lawson, E. “A Gender Comparison of Resiliency among Older African American Katrina Survivors.” Western Journal of Black Studies 34, no. 4 (2010): 457–470.

    Google Scholar 

  • Linley, P. A. and S. Joseph. “Positive Change Following Trauma and Adversity: A Review.” Journal of Traumatic Stress 17, no. 1 (2004): 11–21.

    Google Scholar 

  • Moore, Mary Elizabeth. Teaching as a Sacramental Act. Cleveland, OH: Pilgrim, 2004.

    Google Scholar 

  • Nouwen, Henri J. M. Bread for the Journey: A Daybook of Wisdom and Faith. New York: HarperCollins, 1996.

    Google Scholar 

  • O’Grady, Kari A., Deborah G. Rollison, Timothy S. Hanna, Heidi Schreiber-Pan, and Manuel A. Ruiz. “Earthquake in Haiti: Relationship with the Sacred in Times of Trauma.” Journal of Psychology and Theology 40, no. 4 (2012): 289–301.

    Google Scholar 

  • Shaw, A., S. Joseph, and P. A. Linley. “Religion, Spirituality, and Postttraumatic Growth: A Systematic Review.” Mental Health, Religion & Culture 8, no. 1 (2005): 1–11.

    Google Scholar 

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Moore, M.E. (2017). Parenting Elders: Finitude, Gratitude, and Grace. In: Bischoff, C., O’Donnell Gandolfo, E., Hardison-Moody, A. (eds) Parenting as Spiritual Practice and Source for Theology. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-59653-2_12

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