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Sexual Intimacy—Intersections Between Material and Social

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Living Apart Together Transnationally (LATT) Couples

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Abstract

Dynamics related to intimacy, sexuality in LATT relationships, and diverse ways of coping are the focus of this chapter. How do these couples view and maintain sexual intimacy without bodily immediacy? The participants are placed in two categories. Firstly, those foregrounding physical intimacy, and secondly, those with varied physical intimacy salience between the partners. The chapter explores how some couples manage explicit longing for bodily intimacy through multiple social media, especially sexting-sending/ receiving sexually explicit messages and visuals. It highlights why some couples prefer not to engage in online sexual activities (OSA), underlining mistrust and potential misuse of social media. Moreover, this chapter reveals that some participants experience the partner as a ‘stranger’ after separation and a need for emotional reconnection before sexual intimacy again, overlooked in the existing studies. Lastly, a consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationship (open relationship) when apart, for jealousy avoidance and trust enhancement for one same-sex couple, is taken up.

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Notes

  1. 1.

    Some maintain that sexuality usually refers to sexual preference and sexual orientation, I use the term sexual intimacy in a broader sense. I also use the term physical intimacy almost interchangeably with sexual intimacy, despite the former being a broader concept. Physical intimacy does not have to include sex, though sex and its associated acts are one way you might cultivate physical intimacy.

  2. 2.

    I tease out the centrality of the body influenced by Grosz’s (1994, p. 146) understanding that the “body is that materiality, … on which power operates and through which it functions”.

  3. 3.

    Many self-selected individuals (8040) via a secure online platform designed ad hoc, in different developmental stages ranging from young adolescents, young adults (18–25), middle adults (26–40), older adults (41–60), and elderly (over 60) participated in the research project, males and females. Adult males spent an average of 7.1 h weekly online, while adult females spent around one hour online for sexual purposes.

  4. 4.

    Online data was collected from 77 long-distance couples focused on their sexual and emotional boundaries and motives (McRae & Cobb, 2020). I assume the participants included some LATT couples, although it is not mentioned explicitly. The couples had previously lived geographically close, and their current geographical separation ranged from 114 to 12,800 km, with a mean separation of 5.089 km.

  5. 5.

    Chatroulette is an online chat website that pairs random users with a choice between two other users for webcam-based conversations. Visitors to the website begin an online chat with another visitor. Either user may leave the current chat at any point by initiating another random connection.

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  1. Department of People and Technology, Roskilde University, Universitetsvej 1, Roskilde, Denmark

    Rashmi Singla

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Singla, R. (2024). Sexual Intimacy—Intersections Between Material and Social. In: Living Apart Together Transnationally (LATT) Couples. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-031-52205-5_8

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  • DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-031-52205-5_8

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