Emotions in Romantic Relationships

Abstract

This chapter explores the world of emotions in its very intense dimension, in the context of pair bonding or romantic relationships. The applied aspects of these constructs will be facilitated by understanding the cultural cognitive structures around these constructs. The chapter looks at emotions from the Indian philosophical perspective and unravels the concerns of Indian thought while studying the nature of human mind. It looks at attachments, tendencies of the mind – the rāga (love, attraction), dveṣa (hatred, aversion), harṣa (joy), bhaya (fear) and śoka (sorrow), and the longing for the constant state of bliss or ānanda. It also looks at romantic relationship as a way to understanding the Brāhmaṇa or the “Cosmic Self” and discussing the role emotions play in it. A review on anthropological and neuroscience researches to understand romantic love, and the role of emotions is presented to appreciate how romantic love is rooted and hardwired, while the Indian spiritual paths are discussed how one can appreciate and yet go beyond these emotions. In the realm of application therefore, the developmental consequences such as the ability to make decisions, issues of conflicts and intimacy, role of emotions in supporting, augmenting and sabotaging some of these positive and negative experiences are explored, also citing researches conducted in the Indian context. The models provided towards the end of the chapter are rooted in the yogic sciences of India. The chapter also quotes from the teachings of the ‘awakened ones,’ who have been revered in the country as the wise, and hence their subjective experiences are an invitation for all of us to practice, experiment and know. The suggestions will guide professionals working with young people to steer them towards experiencing positive developmental outcomes by helping young individuals understand and manage emotions and relationships.

Rāso vāī saha.

– Taittiriya Upaniṣad, Ānanda Valli, 7.2