Skip to main content

Non-verbal Communication: From Good Endings to Better Beginnings

  • Chapter
  • First Online:
Nonverbal Communication in Close Relationships

Abstract

This chapter offers an interpersonal model of relationship process that clarifies the role non-verbal communication has in facilitating or hindering the development of closeness. Sternberg’s story relationship perspective is a jumping-off place for presenting Nowicki and Duke’s four-phase relationship model. We remind the reader what aspects of non-verbal language cause it to be so important in determining our success not only at the choice and beginning, but especially at the deepening and ending of relationships. We introduce the idea that relationships are dynamic entities that continuously cycle through beginnings and endings as well as the circumplex model to identify what it is we seek from others to feel close and why relationship endings are so important for the success of future attempts at close relationships.

This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.

Access this chapter

Chapter
USD 29.95
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Available as PDF
  • Read on any device
  • Instant download
  • Own it forever
eBook
USD 119.00
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Available as EPUB and PDF
  • Read on any device
  • Instant download
  • Own it forever
Softcover Book
USD 159.99
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Compact, lightweight edition
  • Dispatched in 3 to 5 business days
  • Free shipping worldwide - see info
Hardcover Book
USD 159.99
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Durable hardcover edition
  • Dispatched in 3 to 5 business days
  • Free shipping worldwide - see info

Tax calculation will be finalised at checkout

Purchases are for personal use only

Institutional subscriptions

References

  • Altenstein, D., Krieger, T., & Grosse Holtforth, M. (2013). Interpersonal microprocesses predict cognitive-emotional processing and the therapeutic alliance in psychotherapy for depression. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 60, 445.

    PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Altman, I., & Taylor, D. A. (1973). Social penetration: The development of interpersonal relationships. Holt, Rinehart & Winston.

    Google Scholar 

  • Ammirati, R. (2013). Self-assessed emotion recognition skill and social adjustment among college students. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, Department of Psychology, Emory University.

    Google Scholar 

  • Ballard, J. (2020). Most Americans believe in soulmates. Published online in YouGovAmerica.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bridges, W., & Bridges, S. (2017). Managing transitions. 25th anniversary edition. Da Capo Lifelong books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bugenthal, D. E., Kaswan, J. W., & Love, L. R. (1970). Perception of contradictory meanings conveyed by verbal and nonverbal channels. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 16, 647–650.

    Google Scholar 

  • Carson, R. C. (1969). Interaction concepts of personality. Aldine.

    Google Scholar 

  • Dermody, S. S., Thomas, K. M., Hopwood, C. J., Durbin, E., & Wright, A. G. C. (2017). Modeling the complexity of dynamic, momentary interpersonal behavior: Applying the time-varying effect model to test predictions from interpersonal. Journal of Research in Personality. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2017.03001

  • Duke, M. P., & Nowicki, S., Jr. (1982). A social learning theory analysis of interactional theory concepts and a multi-dimensional model of human interaction constellations. In J. C. Anchin & D. J. Kiesler (Eds.), Handbook of interpersonal psychotherapy (pp. 78–94). Pergamon.

    Google Scholar 

  • Duke, M. P., Nowicki, S., Jr., & Walker, E. (1996). Teaching your child the language of social success. Peachtree Publishers.

    Google Scholar 

  • Ekman, P., & Friesen, W. V. (1969). The repertoire of nonverbal behavior: Categories, origins, usage, and coding. Seminotica, 1, 49–98.

    Google Scholar 

  • Ekman, P., & Friesen, W. V. (1975). Unmasking the face. Prentice-Hall.

    Google Scholar 

  • Elfenbein, H. A., Foo, M. D., Mandal, M., Biswal, R., Eisenkraft, N., Lim, A., & Sharma, S. (2010). The relationship between displaying and perceiving nonverbal cues of affect: A meta-analysis to solve an old mystery. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98, 301–318.

    PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Estroff, S. R., & Nowicki, S., Jr. (1992). Interpersonal complementarity, gender of interactants and performance on puzzle and word tasks. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 18, 351–363.

    Google Scholar 

  • Feldman, R. S., Philippot, P., & Custrini, R. (1991). Social competence and nonverbal behavior. In R. S. Feldman & B. Rimé (Eds.), Fundamentals of nonverbal behavior (pp. 107–137). Cambridge University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Floyd, K., & Ray, G. B. (2003). Huan affection exchange: IV. Vocalic predictors of perceived affection in initial interactions. Western Journal of Communication, 67, 56–73.

    Google Scholar 

  • Freud, S. (1936). The problem of anxiety. Norton.

    Google Scholar 

  • Friedman, H. S. (1979). Nonverbal communication between patients and medical practitioners. Social Issues. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-4560.1979.tb00790.x

  • Gorvett, Z. (2016). BBC Future Blog. https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160809-why-it-pays-to-be-grumpy-and-bad-tempered

  • Guerrero, L. K., & Floyd, K. (2006). Nonverbal communication in close relationships. Lawrence Erlbaum, Associates.

    Google Scholar 

  • Guerero, L. K., & Wiedmaier, B. (2013). Nonverbal intimacy: affectionate communication, positive involvement and flirtation. In J. A. Hall & M. L. Knapp (Eds.) Nonverbal communication (577–612). Walter de Gruyter GmbH, Berlin/Boston.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hall, E. T. (1966). The hidden dimension. Doubleday.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hall, J. A., & Bernieri, F. J. (Eds.). (2001). Interpersonal sensitivity: Theory and measurement. Erlbaum.

    Google Scholar 

  • Harper, R. G., Wiens, A. N., & Matarazzo, J. D. (1978). Nonverbal communication: The state of the art. Wiley.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hobgood, T. (2017). Blog - Hobgood Facial Plastic Surgery. https://www.toddhobgood.com

  • Hopwood, C. J., Harrison, A. L., Amole, M., Girard, J. M., Wright, G. C., et al. (2020). Properties of the continuous assessment of interpersonal dynamics across sex, level of familiarity and interpersonal conflict. Assessment, 1, 40–56. https://doi.org/10.1177/1073191118798916

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Johnson, D. J., & Myklebust, H. R. (1967). Learning disabilities: Education principles and practices. Gruen and Stratton.

    Google Scholar 

  • Jones, S. E., & Yarbrough, E. A. (1985). A naturalistic study of meanings of touch. Communication Monographs, 52, 19–56.

    Google Scholar 

  • Kiesler, D. J. (1999). Contemporary interpersonal theory research. Wiley.

    Google Scholar 

  • Leary, T. F. (1957). Interpersonal diagnosis of personality. Ronald.

    Google Scholar 

  • Levinson, D. J. (1986). A conception of adult development. American Psychologist, 41, 3–14.

    Google Scholar 

  • Levinson, D. J. (1989). Seasons of a woman’s life. Knopf.

    Google Scholar 

  • Manstead, A. S. R. (1995). Everyday conceptions of emotion: An introduction to the psychology, anthropology and linguistics of emotion, J. A. Russell, J-M. Fernandez-Dols, A. S. R. Manstead, & J. C. Wellenkamp (Eds.). NATO, ASI, Book Series.

    Google Scholar 

  • Murstein, B. I., & Azar, J. A. (1986). The relationship of exchange-orientation to friendship intensity, roommate compatibility, anxiety, and friendship. Small Group Behavior, 17(1), 3–17. https://doi.org/10.1177/104649648601700101

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Nowicki, S., Jr., & Duke, M. P. (1994). Individual differences in the nonverbal communication of affect: The diagnostic analysis of nonverbal accuracy scale. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 18(1), 9–36.

    Google Scholar 

  • Nowicki, S., Jr., Duke, M. P., & van Buren, A. (2009). Starting kids off right. Peachtree Publishers.

    Google Scholar 

  • Nowicki, S., Jr., Fost, L., & Naik, M. (1997). Performance in mixed-sex groups as a function of a competitive or cooperative situation. Journal of Research in Personality, 31, 512–522.

    Google Scholar 

  • Nowicki, S., & Duke, M. P. (2012). Will I Ever Fit In? Peachtree Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Nowicki, S., & Duke, M. P. (2016). Foundations of locus of control. In J. W. Reich & F. J. Infuma (Eds.), Perceived control: Theory, research and practice in the first 50 years. https://doi.org/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780190257040.003.0007

    Chapter  Google Scholar 

  • Pazda, A. D., Elliot, A. J., & Greitemeyer, T. (2012). Sexy red: Perceived sexual receptivity mediates the red-attraction relation in men viewing women. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 48(3), 787–790.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pei, M., & cited in Axtell, R. E. (2015). Gestures: Do’ and taboos of body language around the world. Wiley.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pincus, A. L. (2005). A contemporary integrative interpersonal theory of personality disorders. In J. Clarkin & M. Lenzenweger (Eds.), Major theories of personality disorder (2nd ed., pp. 282–331). Guildford Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pincus, A. L., & Ansell, E. B. (2013). Interpersonal theory of personality. In J. Suls & H. Tennen (Eds.), Handbook of psychology (Vol. 5, pp. 141–159). Wiley.

    Google Scholar 

  • Riggio, R. E. (1992). Social interaction skills and nonverbal behavior. In R. S. Feldman (Ed.), Applications of nonverbal behavioral theories and research (pp. 3–30). Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc.

    Google Scholar 

  • Rosen, D. C., Miller, A. B., Nakash, O., Halperin, L., & Alegria, M. (2012). Interpersonal complementarity in the mental health intake: A mixed-methods study. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 39, 185–196.

    Google Scholar 

  • Saarni., C. (1999). Development of emotional competence. Guilford Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Schworer, B., Krott, N. R., & Oettingen, G. (2019). Saying goodbye and saying it well: Consequences of a (not) well-rounded ending. Motivation Science. https://doi.org/10.1037/mot0000126

  • Sorokowski, P., Sorokowska, A., Karowski, M., et al. (2021). Universality of the triangular theory of Love: Adaptation and psychometric properties of the triangular love scale in 25 countries. The Journal of Sex Research, 58(1), 106–115. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2020.1787318

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Sternberg, R. J. (1986). The triangular theory of love. Psychological Review, 93, 119–135.

    Google Scholar 

  • Sternberg, R. J. (1995). Love as a story. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 12(4), 541–546.

    Google Scholar 

  • Sternberg, R. J. (2019). When love goes awry (part 1): Applications of the duplex theory of love and its development to relationships. In R. J. Sternberg & K.S. (Eds.), The new psychology of love (2nd ed., pp. 280–289). Cambridge University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Sullivan, H. S. (1953). Conceptions of modern psychiatry. Norton.

    Google Scholar 

  • Sullivan, H. S. (1954). The psychiatric interview. Norton.

    Google Scholar 

  • van Gennep, A. (1960, 2019). The rites of passage (2nd ed.). University of Chicago Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Vital, A. (2020). Adioma Foundation. https://blog.adioma.com/author/anna-vital/

  • Watzlawick, P., Beavin, J. H., & Jackson, D. D. (1967). Pragmatics of human communication. Norton.

    Google Scholar 

  • Wellman, H., Harris, P. L., Banjaree, M., & Sinclair, L. (1995). Early understanding of emotion: Evidence of natural language. Cognition and Emotion, 9, 117–149.

    Google Scholar 

  • Wen, F., Zuo, B., Wu, Y., Sun, S., & Liu, K. (2014). Red is romantic, but only for females: Sexual dimorphism moderates red effect on sexual attraction. Evolutionary Psychology, 12(4), 719–735.

    PubMed  Google Scholar 

Download references

Author information

Authors and Affiliations

Authors

Corresponding author

Correspondence to Stephen Nowicki .

Editor information

Editors and Affiliations

Rights and permissions

Reprints and permissions

Copyright information

© 2022 The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Nature Switzerland AG

About this chapter

Check for updates. Verify currency and authenticity via CrossMark

Cite this chapter

Nowicki, S., van Buskirk, A. (2022). Non-verbal Communication: From Good Endings to Better Beginnings. In: Sternberg, R.J., Kostić, A. (eds) Nonverbal Communication in Close Relationships. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-94492-6_11

Download citation

Publish with us

Policies and ethics