Abstract
This chapter offers an interpersonal model of relationship process that clarifies the role non-verbal communication has in facilitating or hindering the development of closeness. Sternberg’s story relationship perspective is a jumping-off place for presenting Nowicki and Duke’s four-phase relationship model. We remind the reader what aspects of non-verbal language cause it to be so important in determining our success not only at the choice and beginning, but especially at the deepening and ending of relationships. We introduce the idea that relationships are dynamic entities that continuously cycle through beginnings and endings as well as the circumplex model to identify what it is we seek from others to feel close and why relationship endings are so important for the success of future attempts at close relationships.
Access this chapter
Tax calculation will be finalised at checkout
Purchases are for personal use only
References
Altenstein, D., Krieger, T., & Grosse Holtforth, M. (2013). Interpersonal microprocesses predict cognitive-emotional processing and the therapeutic alliance in psychotherapy for depression. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 60, 445.
Altman, I., & Taylor, D. A. (1973). Social penetration: The development of interpersonal relationships. Holt, Rinehart & Winston.
Ammirati, R. (2013). Self-assessed emotion recognition skill and social adjustment among college students. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, Department of Psychology, Emory University.
Ballard, J. (2020). Most Americans believe in soulmates. Published online in YouGovAmerica.
Bridges, W., & Bridges, S. (2017). Managing transitions. 25th anniversary edition. Da Capo Lifelong books.
Bugenthal, D. E., Kaswan, J. W., & Love, L. R. (1970). Perception of contradictory meanings conveyed by verbal and nonverbal channels. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 16, 647–650.
Carson, R. C. (1969). Interaction concepts of personality. Aldine.
Dermody, S. S., Thomas, K. M., Hopwood, C. J., Durbin, E., & Wright, A. G. C. (2017). Modeling the complexity of dynamic, momentary interpersonal behavior: Applying the time-varying effect model to test predictions from interpersonal. Journal of Research in Personality. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2017.03001
Duke, M. P., & Nowicki, S., Jr. (1982). A social learning theory analysis of interactional theory concepts and a multi-dimensional model of human interaction constellations. In J. C. Anchin & D. J. Kiesler (Eds.), Handbook of interpersonal psychotherapy (pp. 78–94). Pergamon.
Duke, M. P., Nowicki, S., Jr., & Walker, E. (1996). Teaching your child the language of social success. Peachtree Publishers.
Ekman, P., & Friesen, W. V. (1969). The repertoire of nonverbal behavior: Categories, origins, usage, and coding. Seminotica, 1, 49–98.
Ekman, P., & Friesen, W. V. (1975). Unmasking the face. Prentice-Hall.
Elfenbein, H. A., Foo, M. D., Mandal, M., Biswal, R., Eisenkraft, N., Lim, A., & Sharma, S. (2010). The relationship between displaying and perceiving nonverbal cues of affect: A meta-analysis to solve an old mystery. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98, 301–318.
Estroff, S. R., & Nowicki, S., Jr. (1992). Interpersonal complementarity, gender of interactants and performance on puzzle and word tasks. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 18, 351–363.
Feldman, R. S., Philippot, P., & Custrini, R. (1991). Social competence and nonverbal behavior. In R. S. Feldman & B. Rimé (Eds.), Fundamentals of nonverbal behavior (pp. 107–137). Cambridge University Press.
Floyd, K., & Ray, G. B. (2003). Huan affection exchange: IV. Vocalic predictors of perceived affection in initial interactions. Western Journal of Communication, 67, 56–73.
Freud, S. (1936). The problem of anxiety. Norton.
Friedman, H. S. (1979). Nonverbal communication between patients and medical practitioners. Social Issues. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-4560.1979.tb00790.x
Gorvett, Z. (2016). BBC Future Blog. https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160809-why-it-pays-to-be-grumpy-and-bad-tempered
Guerrero, L. K., & Floyd, K. (2006). Nonverbal communication in close relationships. Lawrence Erlbaum, Associates.
Guerero, L. K., & Wiedmaier, B. (2013). Nonverbal intimacy: affectionate communication, positive involvement and flirtation. In J. A. Hall & M. L. Knapp (Eds.) Nonverbal communication (577–612). Walter de Gruyter GmbH, Berlin/Boston.
Hall, E. T. (1966). The hidden dimension. Doubleday.
Hall, J. A., & Bernieri, F. J. (Eds.). (2001). Interpersonal sensitivity: Theory and measurement. Erlbaum.
Harper, R. G., Wiens, A. N., & Matarazzo, J. D. (1978). Nonverbal communication: The state of the art. Wiley.
Hobgood, T. (2017). Blog - Hobgood Facial Plastic Surgery. https://www.toddhobgood.com›
Hopwood, C. J., Harrison, A. L., Amole, M., Girard, J. M., Wright, G. C., et al. (2020). Properties of the continuous assessment of interpersonal dynamics across sex, level of familiarity and interpersonal conflict. Assessment, 1, 40–56. https://doi.org/10.1177/1073191118798916
Johnson, D. J., & Myklebust, H. R. (1967). Learning disabilities: Education principles and practices. Gruen and Stratton.
Jones, S. E., & Yarbrough, E. A. (1985). A naturalistic study of meanings of touch. Communication Monographs, 52, 19–56.
Kiesler, D. J. (1999). Contemporary interpersonal theory research. Wiley.
Leary, T. F. (1957). Interpersonal diagnosis of personality. Ronald.
Levinson, D. J. (1986). A conception of adult development. American Psychologist, 41, 3–14.
Levinson, D. J. (1989). Seasons of a woman’s life. Knopf.
Manstead, A. S. R. (1995). Everyday conceptions of emotion: An introduction to the psychology, anthropology and linguistics of emotion, J. A. Russell, J-M. Fernandez-Dols, A. S. R. Manstead, & J. C. Wellenkamp (Eds.). NATO, ASI, Book Series.
Murstein, B. I., & Azar, J. A. (1986). The relationship of exchange-orientation to friendship intensity, roommate compatibility, anxiety, and friendship. Small Group Behavior, 17(1), 3–17. https://doi.org/10.1177/104649648601700101
Nowicki, S., Jr., & Duke, M. P. (1994). Individual differences in the nonverbal communication of affect: The diagnostic analysis of nonverbal accuracy scale. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 18(1), 9–36.
Nowicki, S., Jr., Duke, M. P., & van Buren, A. (2009). Starting kids off right. Peachtree Publishers.
Nowicki, S., Jr., Fost, L., & Naik, M. (1997). Performance in mixed-sex groups as a function of a competitive or cooperative situation. Journal of Research in Personality, 31, 512–522.
Nowicki, S., & Duke, M. P. (2012). Will I Ever Fit In? Peachtree Press.
Nowicki, S., & Duke, M. P. (2016). Foundations of locus of control. In J. W. Reich & F. J. Infuma (Eds.), Perceived control: Theory, research and practice in the first 50 years. https://doi.org/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780190257040.003.0007
Pazda, A. D., Elliot, A. J., & Greitemeyer, T. (2012). Sexy red: Perceived sexual receptivity mediates the red-attraction relation in men viewing women. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 48(3), 787–790.
Pei, M., & cited in Axtell, R. E. (2015). Gestures: Do’ and taboos of body language around the world. Wiley.
Pincus, A. L. (2005). A contemporary integrative interpersonal theory of personality disorders. In J. Clarkin & M. Lenzenweger (Eds.), Major theories of personality disorder (2nd ed., pp. 282–331). Guildford Press.
Pincus, A. L., & Ansell, E. B. (2013). Interpersonal theory of personality. In J. Suls & H. Tennen (Eds.), Handbook of psychology (Vol. 5, pp. 141–159). Wiley.
Riggio, R. E. (1992). Social interaction skills and nonverbal behavior. In R. S. Feldman (Ed.), Applications of nonverbal behavioral theories and research (pp. 3–30). Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc.
Rosen, D. C., Miller, A. B., Nakash, O., Halperin, L., & Alegria, M. (2012). Interpersonal complementarity in the mental health intake: A mixed-methods study. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 39, 185–196.
Saarni., C. (1999). Development of emotional competence. Guilford Press.
Schworer, B., Krott, N. R., & Oettingen, G. (2019). Saying goodbye and saying it well: Consequences of a (not) well-rounded ending. Motivation Science. https://doi.org/10.1037/mot0000126
Sorokowski, P., Sorokowska, A., Karowski, M., et al. (2021). Universality of the triangular theory of Love: Adaptation and psychometric properties of the triangular love scale in 25 countries. The Journal of Sex Research, 58(1), 106–115. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2020.1787318
Sternberg, R. J. (1986). The triangular theory of love. Psychological Review, 93, 119–135.
Sternberg, R. J. (1995). Love as a story. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 12(4), 541–546.
Sternberg, R. J. (2019). When love goes awry (part 1): Applications of the duplex theory of love and its development to relationships. In R. J. Sternberg & K.S. (Eds.), The new psychology of love (2nd ed., pp. 280–289). Cambridge University Press.
Sullivan, H. S. (1953). Conceptions of modern psychiatry. Norton.
Sullivan, H. S. (1954). The psychiatric interview. Norton.
van Gennep, A. (1960, 2019). The rites of passage (2nd ed.). University of Chicago Press.
Vital, A. (2020). Adioma Foundation. https://blog.adioma.com/author/anna-vital/
Watzlawick, P., Beavin, J. H., & Jackson, D. D. (1967). Pragmatics of human communication. Norton.
Wellman, H., Harris, P. L., Banjaree, M., & Sinclair, L. (1995). Early understanding of emotion: Evidence of natural language. Cognition and Emotion, 9, 117–149.
Wen, F., Zuo, B., Wu, Y., Sun, S., & Liu, K. (2014). Red is romantic, but only for females: Sexual dimorphism moderates red effect on sexual attraction. Evolutionary Psychology, 12(4), 719–735.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Corresponding author
Editor information
Editors and Affiliations
Rights and permissions
Copyright information
© 2022 The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Nature Switzerland AG
About this chapter
Cite this chapter
Nowicki, S., van Buskirk, A. (2022). Non-verbal Communication: From Good Endings to Better Beginnings. In: Sternberg, R.J., Kostić, A. (eds) Nonverbal Communication in Close Relationships. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-94492-6_11
Download citation
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-94492-6_11
Published:
Publisher Name: Palgrave Macmillan, Cham
Print ISBN: 978-3-030-94491-9
Online ISBN: 978-3-030-94492-6
eBook Packages: Behavioral Science and PsychologyBehavioral Science and Psychology (R0)