Keywords

4.1 Is Paid Work a Part of Parenting?

On the one hand, paid work is often perceived as an obstacle for parental engagement. In societies based on a neoliberal economy, long working hours, as well as demanding professional duties, have a negative impact on family life and generate conflict between paid work and family life. Thus many family researchers who study parenthood focus on the reconciliation of parental obligations with those arising from being active in the labour market (to mention a few: Crespi and Ruspini 2016; Drobnič and Guillén 2011; Emslie and Hunt 2009; Fahlén 2012; Olah and Frątczak 2013). Most European family policies are intended to help people to combine paid work with having children (Gregory and Milner 2009). On the other hand, the model of an adult worker has become the dominant model of contemporary family life. The European Union aims to increase employment rates, and expects almost everyone to be involved in paid work in the labour market. This is connected with the reorientation of the European welfare state that started to put more pressure on the relation between employment and social provisions (Daly 2011; Lewis 2001; Lewis and Giullari 2006). Consequently, paid work is seen as an instrument of social inclusion. Lack of paid work, unstable employment and forced part-time employment can lead to social marginalisation and exclusion, as well as to poverty which makes it difficult to meet the basic needs of life (Kaźmierczak-Kałużna 2017; Kozek et al. 2017). My analysis is based on the assumption that the centrality of employment for both men and women is a crucial norm in contemporary European societies (Ruby and Scholz 2018). This has consequences for how parents fulfil their parental duties and engage in parenthood. As I shall demonstrate in this chapter, analysis of the interviews with Polish mothers and fathers suggests that even though obligations resulting from paid work can interfere in fulfilling parental duties, paid work as such is not an obstacle to parenthood. It is rather seen as a crucial aspect of life helping to fulfil basic human needs and as a necessary condition to have children. Having children pushes individuals to paid work (Kotowska 2014; Kurowska 2019). The reasons for it are clear—a family life is expensive. The more children in a family, the more expenses of everyday life and the greater need to engage in paid work. This was a recurring theme in most of the interviews regardless of the financial situation of the researched individual.

It’s clear that [parenthood] is also a financial issue, that it’s necessary to have an appropriate level of finances, that I need to earn enough to be able to maintain my family. I think that I earn quite a lot, but we have so many expenses that what I earn is actually the minimum necessary to maintain all of these, pay off the mortgage, pay for kindergarten, and all that special food, classes and so on. [P5M6 Filip]

Other research also indicates that economic uncertainty and an unstable employment situation, for both full-time and temporary employment, have a negative impact on the fertility intentions of both men and women (Karwacki and Suwada 2020; Kurowska 2019; Sobotka 2017). The data from Social Diagnosis, which used the panel research technique to study the conditions and quality of life in Polish society between 2000 and 2015, shows that job insecurity and a lack of paid work are perceived as the most important barriers to childbearing (Kotowska 2014). Moreover, employment rates suggest that having children is positively correlated with having a paid job. The Eurostat data (see Table 4.1) indicates that in Polish society, the employment rates of childless people are much lower than parents. In the case of men, the more children the higher the employment rate, whereas in the case of women higher employment rates are characteristic for women having one child or two children. The only exception is women with three or more children, who are less often employed than childless women.Footnote 1 In this context, paid work cannot be perceived as an obstacle to parenting, but rather as its essential component or even condition to have a child (Kurowska and Słotwińska-Rosłanowska 2013). Thus in this analysis paid work is seen as one way of fulfilling parental roles besides care work.

Table 4.1 Employment rate of adults by sex and number of children—Poland
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As Carol Emslie and Kate Hunt noted (2009) paid work and work resulting from family obligations should not be conceptualised as separate domains. It is important to acknowledge that family and professional responsibilities spill over and sometimes are strictly connected to each other. Yet gender is an important structural dimension which determines how men and women reconcile paid work with family life, how they define their parental and working obligations and what they prioritise. As shown in the previous chapter, care norms clearly expect women to provide care for their family members. This is strictly connected with the gendered structure of the labour market. To adequately describe the dynamics of gender relations in the context of paid work in Polish society, I refer to how they looked during the communist era. As Małgorzata Fidelis noted ‘gender differences remained a primary way of demarcating and understanding social hierarchies in post war Poland’ (Fidelis 2010, p. 2). Even though in the 1950s the communist government encouraged women to be active in the labour market and to take jobs that were traditionally reserved for men, gender differences still persisted in the division between public and domestic spheres. Consequently, the paid work of men and women was not treated with the same respect. Women’s paid work was secondary and was legitimised only when it was necessary for the family, i.e. in the case of single, especially widowed, mothers or wives of unemployed or low earning men (Fidelis 2010; Jarska 2019, 2020). A similar conclusion was reached by Elizabeth Dunn, who was doing participatory research on women working in a baby food canning factory in the south of Poland in the 1990s.

For many working mothers, wage labor is a sacrifice that one makes for one’s children, in order to ‘invest’ in them. In this sense, wage labor is another way of providing children not only with tangibles such as food, which they need for growth, but also with intangibles like violin lessons, the all-important English lessons, or a costly private course at one of the now ubiquitous ‘schools of management’. (Dunn 2004, p. 146)

Dunn observed that women working in the factory did so because of their family obligations, not because their paid work was a source of fulfilment. Many of them were forced to engage in paid work, because they had unemployed husbands, were single mothers and/or had large families to support. Dunn also shows that those women who had children believed that their employment was more important than did childless women whose labour ‘went to frivolities and self-indulgences like dogs’ (Dunn 2004, p. 147).

A different approach to the paid work of mothers and fathers is also observed in contemporary Polish society. Małgorzata Sikorska (2019) in her research on parental and family practices shows that a father’s care and responsibilities are much more often seen as financial provision for children and family, as well as taking care of family finances. In the case of women, financial provision is rather seen in terms of support and her salary is additional to the father’s salary (Sikorska 2019, pp. 232–237). The mixed approach to women’s participation in the labour market is also visible in the European Value Survey. In 2017 several questions that illustrate this issue were asked. In Graph 4.1 it is shown that more than 56% of Poles (56.6% of men and 63% of women) disagree or strongly disagree with the statement ‘A man’s job is to earn money; a woman’s job is to look after home and family’. What is more, 50% of people disagree with the statement that ‘family suffers when a woman has a full-time job’, as well as with the statement that ‘a child suffers with a working mother’. This means that for many people women’s paid work is acceptable and reasonable, yet there is still a huge percentage of Poles who prioritise men’s paid work.

Graph 4.1
figure 1

Attitudes to women’s participation in the labour market. Source EVS 2017. Prepared by the author

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In Polish society there are mixed approaches to women’s participation in the labour market and what impact it has on the family. In the following analysis, I look closely on how paid work was perceived by the interviewed parents.

4.2 “It’s Clear That It’s Also a Financial Issue…”. The Necessity of Paid Work

The above mentioned questions that were asked in the European Value Survey in 2017 (EVS 2019) (but also in earlier waves) only concerned the impact of women’s paid work on family life. There were no questions about whether the family suffers when a man has a full-time job or if what men really want is home and children, even though men are also parents, and as parents have various obligations and engage in various family practices. It might be assumed that in the opinion of the researchers preparing the survey questionnaire such questions are only relevant in the case of women. Women’s paid work is more problematic for family life than men’s paid work. This shows that as a society we differently problematise men’s and women’s engagement in paid work. The research on fatherhood clearly shows that even in times of changing gender roles and new models of fatherhood, being a good father still means being a breadwinner who can economically provide for his family (Bryan 2013; Pustułka et al. 2015; Ranson 2001; Suwada 2017). Many studies indicate that even though men are becoming more engaged in care and domestic work, they still do much less than women (Fuwa 2004; Kuhhirt 2012; Miller 2011; Suwada 2017; Titkow et al. 2004). Consequently, it can be assumed that for men having a child is a smaller obstacle to paid work than it is for women.

In Poland breadwinning is the main obligation for fathers. In 2017 when these in-depth interviews were conducted the employment rate of men with at least one child was 88.6%, whereas for childless men only 71.5%.Footnote 2 All interviewed fathers were active in the labour market, although their situations differed in terms of type of employment, salaries, occupation, as well as work stability. In the case of women participation in the labour market was less common, but still the majority of interviewed mothers worked full-time, and those who did not work usually planned to find a job. The only reason for interviewed mothers to remain unemployed was because of extraordinary circumstances, such as having children with severe disabilities. Yet it does not mean that men were to the same extent engaged in other parenting obligations, such as care work (see Chap. 3) and domestic chores (see Chap. 5). In general, the interviewed parents can be divided into two groups. On the one hand, there are people who follow the dual-earner/one-carer model, in which the role of a father is solely to economically provide for the family, whereas a mother is responsible for care and domestic work while usually working full-time in the labour market. On the other hand, there are families which try to share all the obligations and realise (sometimes successfully) the model of dual-earner/dual-carer.

In both of these models, expectations for men are higher with regard to paid work—they are always supposed to be active in the labour market and are expected to bring money home. Whereas even though women’s paid work is often necessary and desirable, it is more acceptable when a woman takes a break from paid work or decides to reduce her working hours. In the interviews mothers much more often said that at some point they considered taking a break from paid work, in the case of fathers such declarations were made very rarely. What is more, men still statistically earn more than women. According to Eurostat in 2017Footnote 3 the gender pay gap stood at 7.2% based on average gross hourly earnings. The interviewed parents often underlined that in their families the man earns more and/or holds a better and more stable position in the labour market.

I: Whose [paid work] is more important? I don’t know, I guess mine.

R: Why?

I: Because it brings better financial results. [C12M13 Mikołaj]

I think that if I had to try to make an evaluation, then my husband’s work is still more important – we even talked about it, because we mainly make a living from it and it gives some kind of stability. My job … either I have it, or I don’t, so it is often the case that we adjust to some things, because of his work. [C17K23 Irena]

The necessity of paid work together with financial issues were often raised in the interviews, regardless of the economic situation of the family. It seems that even parents with a good working situation and an average salary still have to manage their finances carefully (for more detailed analysis see: Olcoń-Kubicka 2016, 2020). The interviewed parents felt that they were under financial pressure and directly linked it to parenthood.

And you know, every time you’re thinking about having a kid, you need to simply earn lots of money! [C2W3 Ola]

And yes, there’s a greater pressure to earn money, but it’s also connected with a mortgage, because it was linked to … we took out a mortgage and when the house was ready, our youngest son was one week old and we moved in […]. So there is this greater pressure that you can’t quit your job and do whatever you want. It’s connected with the fact of having children, but also with the fact of having a mortgage and a wife, who, of course, expects that you are a practical man who earns money [C5M6 Filip]

The need to have a job with good earnings is especially evident in the case of single parents, in particular those who do not receive regular maintenance or other support from the second parent. In their cases, having only one salary increases the feeling of insecurity and fear of losing their job.

But I have a child … nobody pays my bills for electricity, my rent, or tuition for a kindergarten, right? All these kind of things are on me and it stresses me out a bit, you know? [S3W6 Iwona]

[My financial situation] is very bad. Spending per month … is really something else. We have a mortgage for a house, which my wife doesn’t pay, because a bailiff blocked her bank account (…). The mortgage is 1,660 PLN and I pay it. I also pay 2,100 PLN to rent a flat, plus around 1,000 PLN of additional payments. So that’s 5,000 PLN per month, but my salary is only 2,100 PLN. So I take additional jobs. [S13M23 Maciej, who is in the process of divorce]

At the beginning I was afraid of losing my job, you know looking for a new job again … I’m the only one who is earning for him [his son]. I have to think about money, about having everything we need at home so we can function normally. [S12M22 Robert]

It is important to recognise that paid work is one of the most fundamental types of work associated with parenthood. On the one hand, as I argued above, a lack of paid work is perceived as a serious obstacle to childrearing—people start to think about having children when their labour market situation is stable and guarantees steady earnings. On the other hand, having children has an impact on how people perceive their paid work and what attitudes they have towards their current working situation. Some interviewed parents emphasised that they could not quit their jobs easily any more, any plans of changing job would require careful consideration and planning so they would not end up unemployed. They also attached more importance to how much they earned.

R: Did your attitude to paid work somehow change after becoming a mum?

I: I mean, for sure I want to earn more money, among other things. Because a child costs, of course we could lower our standards of living. But my parents are quite well off, so I’m also used to better standards […]. Fortunately, I can’t complain, because my husband earns really well, so it gives us some kind of security, but you know, the situation in the labour market isn’t stable. So I’d like to earn more, because I’m aware that we have different commitments and if something happens, we can’t make a living out of one salary. [P4K5 Ela]

I: When it comes to responsibility, you know, it’s not like that any more … that I can earn this and that and it’d be enough for cigarettes and other things … but there is an economic pressure … economic pressure … maybe rather a challenge, so I need to earn more than I used to.

R: So you feel that you have to earn more because there are more people in the household?

I: I mean, yes, more … You know we did not need this apartment before, for two of us. But as a family we need it, don’t we? [P3M4 Paweł]

Serious concerns about money are often reinforced by dept. The issue of repaying a mortgage arose in many interviews, of who earns enough to be recognised by a bank as able to regularly repay loan instalments. This is connected with a poor housing policy in Poland and a lack of affordable housing available for a family with average earnings. Polish parents have limited possibilities when looking for a home for their family. They can live with their parents, rent a place on the free market (which is very expensive) or take out a mortgage on a new house or flat. Social housing is usually out of reach, since it is available only for the poorest families. Consequently, one of the most common strategies for young parents is to get into debt to create a good home for their family.

The interviewed mothers and fathers expressed similar opinions on the matter of household finances. One result of the heavy financial pressure upon Polish families is women’s greater participation in the labour market. Yet there are significant gender differences in how paid work is perceived. As Natalia Jarska notes: ‘The professional engagement of married women and mothers was becoming widespread and ‘normal’. Public opinion was still divided, as many considered the male breadwinner model as appropriate, but ‘real life’ didn’t leave doubts that women should work.’ (Jarska 2020, p. 9). In the following section I concentrate on the differing attitudes to paid work held by Polish parents according to gender.

4.3 “I Think That a Guy Should Earn to Support His Family”. The Different Attitudes to Paid Work of Mothers and Fathers

Jarska (2020) in her analysis of men’s role in family life during the 1960s and 1970s in Poland claims that men’s domination at home was reshaped during state-socialism. Men’s position as economic providers was weakened because of women’s greater participation in the labour market, but at the same time their domination did not vanish, but ‘was becoming more indirect and unstable’ (Jarska 2020, p. 10). My previous research on fatherhood conducted in 2012 and 2013 showed that for Polish men breadwinning is still a central obligation connected to fatherhood (Suwada 2017). Since then the situation has not changed. The interviewed men often perceive their paid work as a crucial source of economic resources for the family. Whereas women’s paid work is often perceived as help or additional income, but it is not perceived as the main source of income. A good illustration of such an approach is the two following quotations:

I think I have such an approach that a man needs to earn money and support his family. I don’t mind if my wife stays home. But she says that she’s bored at home, that she’d like to go out and meet people, so she has a job now. [C12M13 Mikołaj]

With my partner we had a deal that I’d find a job as late as possible, because we really wanted to be with our kids. We were guided by the idea of attachment parenting and we didn’t want to hire a nanny or send children to nurseries … but we couldn’t afford it because we lived very modestly and we preferred to live like that rather than paying a nanny and me … sitting in some … I couldn’t find a satisfying job, I didn’t have any experience or connections. I’d end up as a cashier or something, which isn’t satisfying or developing. [S6W18 Ada – about a situation before a break up]

In my sample there were no unemployed men. Other research on the experience of unemployment from 2017 showed that the lack of a job for one parent had a profound impact on family relations (Karwacki and Suwada 2020; Posłuszny et al. 2020). Unemployment is especially difficult for men, who have problems with finding new roles and identities in family life. In our analysis of family relations (Karwacki and Suwada 2020), we distinguished three types of men experiencing long-term unemployment: (1) housewives in trousers, (2) deadbeat fathers and (3) prodigal sons. Types one and two apply to men who are fathers. Housewives in trousers are men who overtook traditionally female obligations connected to domestic and care work. They encounter great difficulties in finding a main role outside of breadwinning. Lack of ability to economically provide for a family is for them humiliating and embarrassing. They have great difficulty developing their male identity based on care and domestic duties, and have a sense of being redundant. In the second type called deadbeat fathers unemployment leads to the breakup of family relationships. The deadbeat fathers are usually divorced (and the divorce is usually a result of losing a job) and do not sustain contact with their children. In the last type, prodigal sons, unemployment is a barrier to starting a family. Prodigal sons are usually young men who cannot find a job after finishing education and are forced to live with their elderly parents in family houses. Because of lack of economic resources they have problems sustaining stable relationships with their girlfriends and cannot make decisions about starting their own families. The comparisons between men and women experiencing long-term unemployment show that the lack of a job has a destructive impact on men and their family relationships, whereas for women it pushes them even more strongly towards care and domestic work, this makes them dependent on other family members. Women’s unemployment is often functional for the rest of the family, because it helps to fill the care gap resulting from the lack of institutional care for children, as well as for the elderly and people with disabilities. Yet, similarly as in my research with parents, women experiencing joblessness are willing to return to the labour market and make an effort to find adequate paid work.

On the one hand, we can see that staying at home can be one of the strategies of organising everyday life that is seriously taken into consideration. And many of the interviewed mothers actually spent some prolonged period of time outside the labour market either becoming unemployed or on unpaid extended leave. This never happened to men, who rarely decided to take time off work even on paid parental leave (see Chap. 3 for more on men taking parental leave). On the other hand, parents’ narratives often indicate that the decision of returning to paid work after a period of staying at home was not just a result of economic pressures (see also: Reimann 2016). Paid work is not only perceived as a source of income which is necessary for a family, but in the case of many women it is something more. For many mothers paid work is perceived as a break from care duties.

Before, paid work was the most important, so when it comes to [paid] work, there was some kind of revaluation. When my son was born the family became the most important. I have no doubts about it, but there was also this change that when I go to work I take a rest there [laugh], because it’s much easier than staying with a child all the time. [C17K23 Irena]

He started parental leave, I went back to [paid] work and it was such a rest, you know? That you’re sitting at your desk drinking coffee and looking at your computer. [C2W3 Ola]

Or as a source of satisfaction:

Paid work was always important for me, it still is important, because I have this need for job satisfaction, satisfaction from doing things. That is why I wanted to get back to [paid] work, because after staying ten months at home I was exhausted. I’m definitely not a person who fulfils herself with staying home with a kid and taking care of domestic duties. [C11K13 Sylwia]

The parents’ narratives clearly show that women’s paid work is highly acceptable and by many men desirable. Even though Polish fathers feel the burden of being the main breadwinner in the family, they often expect their partners to participate in the labour market. On the one hand, this expectation is often a result of economic pressures and the impossibility of living on only one wage in contemporary Poland. Yet on the other hand, many interviewed men recognise that women’s paid work has a positive impact on their relationships and family life in general.

I think this one year is ok, when my partner is with our child. But I think that both parents need to work normally. I mean I don’t put pressure on [my wife] to take whatever job she can find. But I think it’s important to keep an eye on job offers. It’s better to have continuity on the labour market, to be active. [C15M16 Witold]

I mean the situation in which one parent spends most time at home, and the second is out for at least eight hours a day … in my case it was much more, because I had a job which involved a lot of business trips, [this situation] causes a lot of tension, because on the one hand there’s this sense of injustice that there are more duties on my shoulders, because you don’t see the other person working […]. Our marriage worked much better when my wife was working, even if it was just a few hours a day. [S8M17 Zbigniew]

I: I really wanted my wife to get back to work immediately after maternity leave.

R: Why?

I: Because I think otherwise she would be very unhappy. This was my impression. Of course, I didn’t force her or anything. I’m just not sure if I wanted to be with a person, who stays at home. [C1M1 Kuba]

The approach of these fathers indicates that the paid work of their partner is not only considered in terms of economic provision. It is seen as an important aspect of everyday life, which is important from a long-term perspective. The institutional arrangements of the welfare state are so organised to make unemployment an unprivileged position. Long-term inactivity in the labour market has a negative effect on a person’s right to different social benefits, such as pensions, sick benefit and so on. This also leads to greater dependency on other family members. Furthermore, for the female interviewees the role of paid work is not only perceived in terms of economic necessity, but it is also a source of satisfaction that allows for personal development (similar conclusions are drawn by Reimann 2016).

Paradoxically, I think this work became more important than before. But not in a sense that it’s more time consuming, but in qualitative terms that I care more if this paid work is satisfactory for me. If I sacrifice my child for this work, then it must be worth it, you know? It’s not only about paying the rent, but it should actually give me some pleasure. [C1W1 Jola]

I believe that everyone should have a chance to do what is fulfilling for them. And if it gives you money, it is also important. Because we do not solely exist to raise children and make money to support a family and pay a mortgage, we also need self-development. I’m quite satisfied with my job. I think I’m quite good at what I do. [C5W7 Anna]

Additionally, some women stressed that paid work is important because it gives them a feeling of independence from their husband/partner and the welfare state. Similar conclusions are drawn from the previously mentioned research on the experience of unemployment (Karwacki and Suwada 2020).

I used to feel that if I don’t have my own money that I earned from paid work, then I have less rights at home. It’s difficult to explain, but there’s this feeling, and I think many women have it. [C17W23 Irena]

I’d like to overcome my depression and to be independent and earn money. Because it hurts the most. It hurts that I’m on benefits and feel worse than working people. I don’t need a husband to be happy. I just want to work and not have to worry about anything. [S10W26 Justyna]

Such thinking about achieving fulfilment from paid work along with a feeling of being independent, is entirely missing from the narratives of fathers. Men think about paid work as something obvious that they have to do if they have children. They do not ponder if their paid work is satisfying or if it gives them a feeling of independence. It might be assumed that, on the contrary, they feel they have to work, because other people depend on them. This suggests that because of the traditional model of fatherhood based on breadwinning, fathers cannot just resign from paid work when it is unsatisfactory. They need to be active in the labour market regardless of the situation in their workplace or their sense of fulfilment.

This is not the only difference between the perception of paid work of mothers and fathers. The interviewed women whose children were not older than eight, generally did not think about making a career when their children still required more care and attention. On the one hand, it is clear that they want to have a satisfactory job, so they do not feel guilty for leaving a small child at home with another caregiver or in a nursery. On the other hand, they often stress that they cannot have paid work which is too demanding and time-consuming because they need to be able to fulfil other parental obligations (Sarnowska et al. 2020).

You know, recently I was thinking about my career, because my boss is leaving and nobody has applied for her position yet, so I thought that maybe I could replace her. But no, not now because it would have consequences for my private life, and I can’t do it because of the children. They are too small for me to do overtime. I mean I could hire a baby-sitter to pick them up from school or preschool, but I decided that I don’t want to waste this time, that they are small and they need a mum at home, not a mum-boss. [S2W2 Ewa]

Myself as every … maybe not every … but most women, I guess, we’re managers of our own homes. So … in a way it would be difficult to deal with more ambitious tasks at work. Because I manage our home, I manage our family time, and it’s stressful in a way, so I have to postpone my professional ambitions for now. [C5W7 Anna]

In this context, the narratives of women with different levels of expertise are becoming quite similar. Even though women with unskilled jobs more often quit their paid work than women with skilled jobs (see Chap. 3), they usually intend to return to the labour market.

R: Are you going to look for a job somewhere here?

I: Yes, in [name of location]. And I want only one shift, you know? One shift so I could pick them up [children] from a kindergarten or something. So I could take them to a kindergarten and then pick them up. Yeah.

R: Is it possible to find such a job here?

I: Yes, it is. My friend works in such a job. The salary isn’t high, but it’s ok. (P9K11 Iza)

Women with low skills who need to continue paid work after a period of leave, usually make a deal with their employers and change their working conditions (for example, working on only one shift, reducing working hours, or not working at the weekend).

I: My employer did me a favour, now I’ll only work seven hours [per day]. It’s less money, but only one shift and seven hours [instead of eight].

R: And was it ok for him?

I: Yes, I should work for eight hours [per day] and for two shifts. But he did me a favour. (S5K16 Maria)

Analysis of the interviews shows that the priorities of women in unskilled and/or low-paid jobs are similar to the priorities of other mothers—they want to have jobs that are not too time-consuming while at the same time letting them take a rest from the constant care of their children. Interestingly, for such women a lack of education or skills is rarely perceived as an obstacle to finding a job. Obstacles to being active in the labour market are more commonly seen as care obligations for their children and working conditions such as shift work or an inability to find part-time work (see also: Kaźmierczak-Kałużna 2017). In this context it is also important to recognise that women more often than men are in a precarious situation in the labour market, consequently women’s paid work is often less stable, and women are at greater risk of becoming unemployed (Polkowska 2017; Posłuszny et al. 2020; Standing 2014).

4.4 “Time Is the Biggest Problem in My Life.” Time Pressure in Parenting

The situation in the labour market is a key element that determines the opportunity structures of Polish parents. I shall now focus on the time pressures that are experienced by Polish parents. Studies on work and family life clearly show that both men and women feel time pressure resulting from the combination of paid work and parenthood. These two aspects of life, even though strictly connected to each other, often impose conflicting obligations upon individuals (Gauthier et al. 2004; van der Lippe et al. 2006; Roxburgh 2012; Sullivan 1997). The lack of time is also felt by Polish parents (Sikorska 2019). The main reason parents experience a deficit of time is paid work. In the Polish labour market most people work full-time, in 2017 when the interviews were conducted, part-time employment was only 6.3% of total employment (3.5% of male employment and 9.8% of female employment). These numbers are very low in comparison to other European countries. For the whole European Union (28 members including the UK) part-time employment was 18.7% (8.1% of male and 31.1% of female employment). Women are more often employed part-time to be able to combine paid work with the requirements of motherhood. The highest percentages of women working part-time are in Western-European countries such as the Netherlands, Austria or Germany. Whereas the lowest percentages are characteristic of post-communist countries such as Slovakia, Croatia, Hungary and Poland.Footnote 4 Such a situation has consequences for how men and women combine paid work with parental obligations. Susan Fahlén argues that in countries with less access to part-time work (and strong traditional gender roles) ‘women are expected to be the prime carer and men the prime earner’ (Fahlén 2014, p. 378). Consequently, Polish working mothers more often face the dilemma of quitting a job due to care obligations, and have less time during the day to take care of their children when compared to other European mothers. The aim of this chapter is to analyse how being a parent influences engagement in paid work, and conversely how working arrangements affect engagement in care work due to economic and gender inequalities. The biggest problems appear at the moment when a parent who was on parental leave (usually a mother) returns to paid work.

Returning to work from maternity leave is like a blow to the head. Really. Because the time of leave is a period when you have the whole day and you can somehow sort out everything that needs to be done. And then [upon return to paid work] there are more duties but there is no time, because when you are eight hours at work, in fact ten hours, because of commuting … and you think ‘Oh my God, I have no time!’. [C4W5 Ela]

The moment of returning to paid work from a period of leave for one parent is a time when there is a need to set new schedules and determine new priorities. It has an impact on engagement in paid work. The narratives of interviewed parents, who work full-time, clearly show that paid work takes the most time in their daily life, usually one third of twenty-four hours. Despite this, the interviews indicate that in general time-consuming paid work is not prioritised by parents working full-time. The necessity of spending so much time at paid work is rather a result of the labour market conditions and the fact that part-time employment is not a popular solution in Poland. This is an important element which dictates parents’ opportunity structures. The prioritisation of paid work is openly expressed by only a few of the interviewed parents. These are usually fathers who are motivated by economic pressures assigned to the traditional model of fatherhood or the fact that as young people they are at the beginning of their career path, which therefore requires greater focus on paid work. Yet interestingly, the current greater focus on paid work is usually connected with the necessity to provide good living conditions for the family, and sometimes it is even expected to bring positive long-term results, such as more time for the family in future. In such a case, long hours spent at paid work are described in the interviews as something done for the family, not for personal development.

I think I spend more energy on my work than on my family. Obviously, I would like it to be the other way around, but this partly results from the fact that I believe that if I work hard now, then in a few years it’ll be different. That in future I can go to work for three - four hours and, for example, spend more time at home with my children. [C15M16 Witold]

On the other hand, the prioritisation of paid work can also be a result of bad relations in the family, which is clearly visible in the narratives of single parents who went through a divorce.

I really love my children, but … I didn’t get on so well with my wife, so I was escaping from family life and my work was a perfect excuse. I had lots of delegations and didn’t spend much time at home. But this was not because of any institutional conditions, but due to my relationship with my wife. I planned my paid work to be at home as little as possible. And now when we have finally decided to break up, it’s resulted in a greater work/life balance. [S1M2 Marek]

In the sample of interviewed parents, only a few men clearly declared that their paid work is or used to be a priority. Women never made such a declaration. This does not mean that there are no mothers who prioritise paid work, yet it might be assumed that because of strong gendered norms around care it is more difficult for them to admit to this openly. In the context of time management, most of the interviewees with skilled jobs claimed that in connection to parenthood they changed their attitudes to paid work and working hours. Before becoming a parent, many of them did overtime, brought work home, worked during weekends or simply thought about work outside the office.

[Paid work] stopped being so important. And this is something that childless people cannot understand, it’s hard to talk about it with them. But … sometimes before I had a child, when there were stressful situations, important projects, something was going on at work and I was thinking about it all the time. I was back at home and I was thinking and living with it all the time. And now when I leave the office and am back home, I don’t think about it, because I have plenty of other things to think about. [C11W13 Sylwia]

R: Did something change when you became a father?

I: Yes, I have less inclination to work sixteen hours a day. There are some constraints and I have to take it into consideration that there is another person who I’m responsible for, and I’d like to participate in her upbringing. Even though at the beginning I wasn’t feeling competent enough to take care of her, but when she is older that I will participate more. This is how I see it. [P15M16 Witold]

Analysis of the interviews shows that regardless of the attitudes to gender roles in family life, attitudes to paid work are changing. I argue here that it is connected with time limits—new parents need to re-evaluate their approach to paid work because they simply have no time to solely concentrate on it. Time pressures not only affect how paid work is perceived by parents, but also how they deal with their work obligations. As mentioned above, parents try not to bring work home and do not work during weekends. This mostly applies to individuals who work outside the household. The situation of parent-teleworkers is different, since they cannot easily isolate themselves from their children when they want to engage in paid work. They usually need to set some boundaries between time for paid work and time for other obligations (see: Gądecki et al. 2016, 2017), but the situation of having a small child at home makes this particularly difficult.

It’s difficult to be with a kid, but also to deal with everything that is beyond this relationship with my kid, I mean keeping the apartment in order, food and paid work … and this frustration connected to paid work. I think it’s inherent in my job and it’s a nightmare. [P2M3 Kamil]

Some interviewees notice that their work from home became more structured and more effective since they are aware of time limits and cannot postpone certain duties.

Before, I usually worked at night, and considered myself a typical night owl, but now it’s different. But I’m also much more … my work is more structured and I have no feeling that my day is falling apart. I mean, I just know what needs to be done and when to do it. I do more things immediately now, I procrastinate much less, basically it just doesn’t happen […]. I’m amazed by how much I can get done. And I don’t think my child is suffering because of my workload. [C3W4 Joanna]

Here’s what I learned when I had my first son and was, you know, trying to work from home: as soon as he closed his eyes, I’d immediately sit at the computer. I didn’t even check my Facebook or anything, I just started tapping away at the keyboard. You simply learn how to organise your time, how to maximise every moment without children [laugh]. [C2W3 Ola]

Obviously, not every parent has such experiences with organising time, but the interviews indicate that in general when becoming a parent, attitudes to the time management of paid work are changing, especially in the case of skilled workers. Parents with low-skilled work that is usually low paid do not mention such changes, although they more often look for additional work to earn some extra money. Since many of them do not have the option of taking work home, they usually work eight hours per day and do not think about their working obligations at home. They do overtime less often and it is easier for them to actually look for some additional work.

No, I don’t do overtime. I work eight hours, sometimes less. [C9M10 Jacek]

For example, I was earning some extra money at weekends [working in a restaurant], so we had more money, but … I don’t have much experience in the kitchen, so they let me go. But now I’m looking for some weekend work. [C9W11 Iza]

Yet the relationship between parenthood and paid work can also be analysed from the perspective of how paid work affects everyday family life. In the interviews almost every parent complained about a lack of time. In the analysis of the interviews using the software programme MaxQDA the code ‘lack of time’ was used most often and was assigned to 45 out of 53 interviews. This lack of time results from the fact that parents usually have to work full-time so consequently have less time to spend at home and with the family. The time that remains after finishing paid work is usually devoted to a child. Parents prefer to neglect other domestic and family duties and concentrate on their children.

So when the weekend comes, it goes by so fast that [laugh] I need to choose, you know? Should I clean the flat or maybe take my kid out for a bike ride? So I choose the latter and go outside. I think that … I’m not allergic to dust, my child is not allergic to dust, so it can stay one more week. [S3W6 Iwona]

But many parents have a problem finding time to solely dedicate to their children, and those who have more than one child struggle to find time which is devoted to only one child.

Basically, the problem is that the day is too short. Sometimes I’d like to finish certain things, but I can’t. And I’d like to be there for them [the children] for at least a part of the day, but because I have so many duties, it’s very difficult to find time when I’m focused only on them. (C14W19 Paulina)

The problem isn’t just that I have no time for myself, but also that I feel each of them would like to have me more. So they compete for my attention. I try to share my time fairly, but it’s not possible. It’s like whoever is screaming louder has my attention. [S2W3 Ewa]

In the above extracts Ewa mentioned that she has no time for herself. This is another problem experienced by most of the interviewed parents, especially mothers, who spend more time on domestic duties than fathers (this issue is discussed in Chap. 5). The interviewed mothers often noticed that they had difficulty finding time for themselves, but that their partner/husband didn’t have such difficulties.

It seems to me that we have less time now when we have a daughter, but also that [my husband] can still find time for himself - I envy him. For example, he plays computer games or learns programming, I can see that our daughter knows she cannot bother him when he’s sitting at his computer. But when I’m sitting at my computer, she has no problem coming to me and asking for something. [C7W9 Stefa]

The perspective of fathers is a little bit different, even though they also complain about a lack of time, they more often see opportunities to find some time for themselves. They often stress that they do many things while commuting to work.

I mean, this is an issue I was talking about with many people – we have as much time as we can find […]. For example, I work out [at home] from 9 p.m. till 10.30 p.m. It’s not a time when my presence is necessary […]. And I always try to go to work by bike and come back by bike. It perhaps takes more time than by car, but I can cover 15 kilometres by bike this way. [C7M8 Stefan]

I try to make the best use of my time when I don’t have to take care of my son, if I have enough energy, you know. So I read on the bus when I go to work and come back … I don’t feel I have much time, but on the other hand I don’t feel any pressure. It’s more like … I have some additional aspiration and I try to fulfil it in the ‘meantime’, let’s say. [C13M14 Piotr]

The large amount of time that parents devote to paid work and care work has consequences for time organisation, including time spent with a partner. The interviewed parents often raised the problem of having no time for themselves as a couple. Sometimes they can get some help from other family members, especially the child’s grandparents, who can take care of their children during an evening or a weekend, but it is not always possible and is a rather rare event.

R: Do you spend time with your wife, I mean without your child?

I: No.

R: No?

I: No, there is nobody who can take care of our daughter. Her grandmother lives 70 kilometres from us. She [the daughter] was there two or three times this summer, but I worked till the evening. [C10M11 Wojciech]

R: Are you able to spend time together, without the children?

I: Since our daughter [second child] was born, no.

R: And before?

I: Very rarely. In general, when our elder son went to his grandparents, we could, but only once he had grown up a bit. Then yes, but it was very rare. [C15M16 Witold]

Since Polish parents spend so much time on paid work, the time available for other obligations and everyday activities is limited. It is most difficult for parents with children of preschool age to find time for themselves individually and as a couple. Many parents think that such a situation is temporary, they believe that when their children grow up, they will regain more free time for themselves. Yet in this context it must be recognised that not only family policy, but also the labour market policy is crucial for parenting experiences in Polish society. In Poland there is a lack of mechanisms that would help parents to temporarily reduce their working hours in connection to parenthood. Consequently, parents (mostly mothers) who finish parental leave and return to the labour market have to deal with a substantial change in the everyday organisation of family life. At the same time, in the interviews many parents were talking about how working part-time could improve the quality of their everyday life. Many parents declare that they would love to reduce their working hours if it did not necessitate lowering their salary.

4.5 Conclusion

The importance of paid work is not questioned in an advanced capitalist society. Almost everyone is expected to work. Employment is seen as an instrument of social inclusion that allows for active participation in society (Lahusen and Giugni 2016; Tomescu-Dubrow et al. 2019). Consequently, engagement in paid work is one of the most common experiences for most people. At the same time, most people are also parents, and as parents they are involved in paid work. In this chapter I have argued that there is a need to stop perceiving paid work as an obstacle to parenting. Because of the requirements of the current economic system, paid work should rather be seen as one of the parental obligations. Individuals work for pay and keep their jobs because they have children. Individuals decide to have children if they have a satisfactory situation in the labour market. The conditions of the labour market and the situation of paid work of a particular individual are important factors that determine opportunity structures of a parent. They provide and at the same time limit an individual’s opportunity to fulfil different parental obligations. Important dimensions here are gender and economic resources.

The situation of mothers and fathers are distinctly different. Even though both men and women are expected to work in the labour market, men feel greater pressure in connection with paid work. They more often perceive their parental obligations in terms of economic provision. This means that they feel greater pressure to keep a job and earn money. Paid work for fathers is not an obstacle, but rather a core parental obligation. Whereas in the case of women, paid work is more often regarded as secondary. They are more concentrated on other parental obligations, in particular those involving care, and consequently, more overtly experience time pressures as trying to combine paid work with care and domestic work. In this context it is necessary to recognise the role of the welfare state, which through different instruments of family policy help to reconcile different parental obligations. The Polish family system in the 2010s is based on explicit familialism (Szelewa 2017) and is explicitly genderising (Saxonberg 2014; Suwada 2017). This means that it promotes a traditional model of a family, in which men are focused on paid work, whereas women are more oriented on the domestic sphere. The experiences of Polish parents show that the reconciliation of different obligations arising from family life and paid work is very difficult mostly because of time pressure. In the Polish system there are no incentives which promote part-time employment or reduce working hours. Consequently, full-time paid work severely limits the opportunity structures of Polish parents.