Abstract
The Reproduction of Mothering comes from a period in second wave feminism when the personal was political, but feminists with rare exception were hostile to psychoanalysis and suspicious in general of any account that seemed to begin from the psyche rather than from political and economic forces. This book, by contrast, argues that the personal is personal, even as the personal connects to the sociocultural and political-economic. A universal male dominance, I argue in articles that precede the book and in the book itself, is rooted in a defensive and aggressive psychodynamics of masculinity that grows from the son’s relationship to his mother. This territory had been explored, but what seemed missing in social theory, as in most of psychoanalysis, was attention to daughters and to the mother-daughter relationship, as well as an account of how girls grew up to be mothers. The book ties the intrapsychic and interpsychic dynamics of individual gender-sexuality and the family to the sociology, political economy, and culture of gender. My own response to these insights, that moved many people and seemed true to me, was to undertake psychoanalytic training: I could not go deeper without clinical experience. My contribution here brings this experience back to The Reproduction of Mothering. I notice the tacit argument, expressed in its title, that in thinking about psychologies of gender, we are in the realm of generation. I look at how the inner mother-daughter world helps and hinders mothering and how it changes over the life cycle. In so doing, I also honour some of the women psychoanalysts—the psychoanalytic mothers—who preceded me and the sisters whom I now count upon. I am grateful to have had some effect on clinician and theorist daughters as well.
I presented an early version of this chapter in 2015 as a plenary address at the conference, “Motherhood and Culture,” at Maynooth University, Ireland. There I discovered to my great pleasure that throughout the world, there is a thriving field of motherhood studies that draws scholars from disciplines across the social sciences and humanities. There I met Petra Bueskens, to whom I am so grateful for the honor of this book.
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Notes
- 1.
From Karen Horney, “The Flight from Womanhood: The Masculinity-Complex in Women, as Viewed by Men and by Women,” International Journal of Psychoanalysis 7 (1926): 324–339. Reprinted with permission.
- 2.
From Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own (Hogarth Press, 1929). Reprinted with permission from Penguin Random House.
- 3.
Nancy Chodorow, The Reproduction of Mothering: Psychoanalysis and the Sociology of Gender (Berkeley and Los Angeles: University of California Press, 1978).
- 4.
Nancy J. Chodorow, “Being and Doing: A Cross-Cultural Examination of the Socialization of Males and Females,” in Feminism and Psychoanalytic Theory (New Haven: Yale and London: Polity Press, 1989 [1971]), 23–44.
- 5.
Nancy J. Chodorow, “From the Glory of Hera to the Wrath of Achilles: Narratives of Second Wave Masculinity and Beyond,” Studies in Gender and Sexuality 16 (2015): 261–270.
- 6.
At a recent panel, “Ghosts in the Nursery,” the folklorist Maria Tatar drew on graphic illustrations from Grimm and Disney to remind us of the evil, terrifying mothers (often disguised as stepmothers) that terrorize beautiful, innocent daughters throughout folklore The devouring mother is of course exciting, and devoured by children, but then, the daughter becomes this very mother. See also Barbara Almond, The Monster Within: The Hidden Side of Motherhood (Berkeley and Los Angeles: University of California Press, 2010); Petra Bueskens, ed., Mothering and Psychoanalysis: Clinical, Sociological and Feminist Perspectives (Bradford, ON: Demeter Press, 2014).
- 7.
Nancy J. Chodorow, “Family Structure and Feminine Personality,” in Feminism and Psychoanalytic Theory, Nancy J. Chodorow (New Haven: Yale and London: Polity Press, 1989 [1974]), 45–65.
- 8.
Michelle Zimbalist Rosaldo and Louise Lamphere, eds., Women, Culture, and Society (Stanford, California: Stanford University Press, 1974); Sherry B. Ortner, “Is Female to Male as Nature is to Culture?” In Rosaldo and Lamphere‚ Woman‚ Culture & Society‚ 1974‚ 67–87.
- 9.
I come from fields that query the obvious. In anthropology, where I spent five years as undergraduate and graduate student, scholars (at least at that time) went to “other” cultures to learn about what, from the point of view of those cultures’ members, was simply lived. My graduate training in sociology was rooted in ethnomethodology, a field that tried to unpack the taken-for-granted in everyday life (women mother). Psychoanalysis wants to get at the substance and roots of unconscious taken-for-granted pictures of self and world (transference) that inhibit and constrain living and being.
- 10.
Now, in 2019, we are aware every moment of how the personal is personal, how feelings and culture as much as or more than economics, seem to drive people and politics nationally and throughout the world. We see rage, racial hatred and bigotry; an emotional virulence extending to violence in the anti-abortion movement; nationalisms and xenophobia that echo the 1930s and 1940s; more forms of misogyny and mistreatment of women and girls than can be counted; and the almost unthinkable separation of even the littlest children from migrant parents.
- 11.
Helene Deutsch, The Psychology of Women, Vols. 1 and 2 (New York: Grune & Stratton, 1944 and 1945).
- 12.
Sigmund Freud, “Female Sexuality,” in Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works, Vol. 21 (London: Hogarth Press, 1931), 223–243.
- 13.
I myself first found psychoanalysis as grand theory when I was about 18, in Freud’s Civilization and Its Discontents and Erikson’s Childhood and Society (Chodorow, 2019, returns to these roots).
- 14.
Nancy J. Chodorow, Individualizing Gender and Sexuality: Theory and Practice (London and New York: Routledge, 2011).
- 15.
Donald W. Winnicott, “Primary Maternal Preoccupation,” in Collected Papers: Through Paediatrics to Psycho-Analysis (London: Tavistock, 1958 [1956]), 300–305.
- 16.
Hans W. Loewald, “Primary Process, Secondary Process, and Language,” in Papers on Psychoanalysis (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1980 [1978]), 194.
- 17.
Sigmund Freud, Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis: Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works, Vol. 16 (London: Hogarth Press, 1916–1917), 314.
- 18.
Karen Horney, “The Flight from Womanhood: The Masculinity Complex in Women, as Viewed by Men and Women,” in Feminine Psychology Karen Horney (New York: W. W. Norton, 1968 [1926]), 60.
- 19.
Of course, not all women become mothers, and each mother’s maternality is her own.
- 20.
This 1974 dissertation was called, after my first mother-daughter article, Family Structure and Feminine Personality. Its subtitle was The Reproduction of Mothering, a formulation jointly discovered (or created) late in the process in a conversation with Egon Bittner, my dissertation advisor.
- 21.
Barbara Almond, The Monster Within (Berkeley and Los Angeles: University of California Press‚ 2010); Rosemary Balsam, Women’s Bodies in Psychoanalysis (London and New York: Routledge, 2012); Malkah Notman and Carol Nadelson, eds., The Woman Patient, Volume 1: Sexual and Reproductive Aspects of Women’s Health Care (New York: Plenum, 1979); Dinora Pines, A Woman’s Unconscious Use of Her Body (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 1993); Joan Raphael-Leff, Pregnancy: The Inside Story (London: Sheldon Press, 1993).
- 22.
See Nancy Kulish and Deanna Holtzman, A Story of Her Own: The Female Oedipus Complex Reexamined and Renamed (New York: Jason Aronson, 2008). Here and in the previous note I am making a point about what was available to me, in terms of psychoanalytic writing on pregnancy, childbirth, and maternality when I was writing The Reproduction of Mothering. Thus, I cite books rather than the articles (all written after my book) that are found within them, and I am not going up to the present, thereby giving short shrift to the continued generativity of these writers.
- 23.
For example, Benedek, 1956, 1959, 1960, Therese Benedek, “Psychobiological Aspects of Mothering,” American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 26 (1956): 272–278; Therese Benedek, “Parenthood as a Developmental Phase,” Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association 7 (1959): 389–417; Therese Benedek, “The Organization of the Reproductive Drive,” International Journal of Psycho-Analysis 41 (1960): 1–15; Grete Bibring, “Some Considerations of the Psychobiological Processes in Pregnancy,” Psychoanalytic Study of the Child 14 (1959): 113–121; Grete Bibring, Thomas F. Dwyer, Dorothy S. Huntington, and Arthur F. Valenstein, “A Study of the Psychological Processes in Pregnancy and of the Earliest Mother-Child Relationship,” Psychoanalytic Study of the Child 16 (1961a and 1961b): 9–72; Judith S. Kestenberg, “On the Development of Maternal Feelings in Early Childhood: Observations and Reflections,” Psychoanalytic Study of the Child 11 (1956): 257–291; Judith S. Kestenberg, “Regression and Reintegration in Pregnancy,” Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association 24 (Suppl. 1976): 213–250.
- 24.
Zenia O. Fliegel, “Women’s Development in Analytic Theory,” in Psychoanalysis and Women: Contemporary Reappraisals, ed. J. L. Alpert (Hillsdale, NJ: The Analytic Press 1986), 17.
- 25.
Juliet Mitchell, Psychoanalysis and Feminism (New York: Pantheon, 1974); Nancy J. Chodorow, “Family Structure and Feminine Personality”.
- 26.
Gayle S. Rubin, “The Traffic in Women: Notes on the ‘Political Economy’ of Sex,” in Toward an Anthropology of Women, ed. Rayna R. Reiter (New York: Monthly Review Press, 1975), 157–210.
- 27.
Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 1976.
- 28.
Nancy J. Chodorow, The Power of Feelings: Personal Meaning in Psychoanalysis, Gender and Culture (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 1999); Nancy J. Chodorow, Psychoanalytic Ear and the Sociological Eye: Toward an American Independent Tradition (London and New York: Routledge, 2020).
- 29.
Erik H. Erikson, Childhood and Society (New York: Norton, 1950), 268.
- 30.
Hans W. Loewald, “The Waning of the Oedipus Complex,” in Papers on Psychoanalysis (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 1980 [1979]), 392.
- 31.
Janine Chasseguet-Smirgel, Creativity and Perversion (London: Free Association Books, 1984); Joyce McDougall, Theatres of the Mind: Illusion and Truth on the Psychoanalytic Stage (London: Free Association Books, 1986).
- 32.
These psychoanalytic mothers proceeded me, but it took my own development and rereading, taking the point of view of the other and talking with them, to understand how insightful and pioneering they were. In her psychoanalytically-informed three generation interview study of Norwegian women and men, Harriet Bjerrum Nielsen documents the centrality of generation to gender. Nielsen, Harriet Bjerrum, Feeling Gender: A Generational and Psychosocial Approach (London: Palgrave Macmillan, 2017).
- 33.
Nancy J. Chodorow, “Heterosexuality as a Compromise Formation,” in Femininities, Masculinities, Sexualities: Freud and Beyond (Lexington, KY: University of Kentucky Press and London, UK: Free Association Books, 1994 [1992]), 33–69.
- 34.
David Levy, Maternal Overprotection (New York: Columbia University Press, 1943); Philip Wylie, Generation of Vipers: In Which the Author Rails against Congress, the President, Professors, Motherhood, Businessmen, and Other Matters American (New York: Farrar and Rinehart, 1942).
- 35.
Ralph R. Greenson, “Dis-identifying from Mother: Its Special Importance for the Boy,” International Journal of Psycho-Analysis 49 (1968): 370–374; Robert Stoller, Sex and Gender, Vol. 1 (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 1968).
- 36.
Max Horkheimer, “Authority and the Family,” in Critical Theory (New York: Herder and Herder, 1972 [1936]), 47–128; Max Horkheimer and Theodor W. Adorno, Dialectic of Enlightenment (New York: Seabury Press, 1947); Alexander Mitscherlich, Society without the Father (New York: Schocken, 1970 [1963]).
- 37.
Margaret Mead, Male and Female (New York: William Morrow, 1949), 303. My first published paper‚ “Being and Doing‚” was partly inspired by this observation. See Nancy J. Chodorow, “Being and Doing‚” 1971.
- 38.
John W.M. Whiting, Richard Kluckhohn, and Albert Anthony, “The Function of Male Initiation Rites at Puberty,” in Readings in Social Psychology, eds. Eleanor E. Maccoby, Theodore M. Newcomb, and Eugene L. Hartley (New York: Holt, 1958), 359–370.
- 39.
Philip E. Slater, The Glory of Hera: Greek Mythology and the Greek Family (Boston: Beacon, 1968).
- 40.
This is a personal as well as professional retrospective. I note that, inspired by a children’s magazine that described Schliemann’s discovery of Troy, I wanted as a child to be an archaeologist, and that I spent an undergraduate summer on an early Neolithic archaeological dig in Greek Macedonia.
- 41.
After I finished the book, I became curious. Who were these women, and how did it happen that there were so many early women analysts? I spent several years searching out this generation and interviewing those I could find. See for example, Nancy J. Chodorow, “Varieties of Leadership among Women Psychoanalysts,” in Women Physicians in Leadership Roles, eds. L. Dickstein and C. Nadelson (Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association Monograph, 1986), 45–54; Nancy J. Chodorow, “Seventies Questions for Thirties Women,” in Feminism and Psychoanalytic Theory (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press and Cambridge, UK: Polity Press, 1989), 199–218; Nancy J. Chodorow, “Where Have All the Eminent Women Psychoanalysts Gone? Like the Bubbles in Champagne, They Rose to the Top and Disappeared,” in Social Roles and Social Institutions: Essays in Honor of Rose Laub Coser, eds. J. Blau and N. Goodman (Boulder, CO: Westview Press, Second edition, 1995), 167–194; Nancy J. Chodorow, “Seventies Questions for Thirties Women: Some Nineties Reflections,” in Feminist Social Psychologies: International Perspectives, ed. S. Wilkinson (Berkshire, UK: Open University Press, 1996), 21–50.
- 42.
Nancy J. Chodorow, “Freud on Women,” in Femininities, Masculinities, Sexualities: Freud and Beyond, Nancy J. Chodorow (Lexington, KY: University of Kentucky Press and London, UK: Free Association Books, 1994 [1991]), 1–32. See also Nancy Kulish and Deanna Holtzman, “Persephone, the Loss of Virginity, and the Female Oedipal Complex,” International Journal of Psycho-Analysis 79 (1998): 57–71.
- 43.
My first mother-daughter article, “Family Structure and Feminine Personality,” was reprinted in a classics anthology, The Homeric “Hymn to Demeter”: Translation, Commentary, Interpretive Essays, ed. Helena Foley (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1994), 243–265. Later, in a chapter called “Rethinking Freud on Women” (Chodorow 1994, pp. 1–32), I notice that Freud’s second “abnormal” developmental pathway—the girl who rejects her mother, but not for her father as object—also finds a mythic analogue. This girl remains virginal, identifies with her father, and “cling[s] with defiant self-assertiveness to her threatened masculinity” (Freud 1931, p. 229). As I suggest (Chodorow 1994, p. 31): Athena. “Rethinking Freud on Women” remarks in passing on several mythic analogues for Freud’s theories and patients, including, in addition to Demeter and Persephone, Cassandra, Iphigenia, Aphrodite, Hera, Medusa, and, from the Old Testament, Judith [needs reformatting in Chicago style].
- 44.
Chodorow, The Reproduction of Mothering, 209.
- 45.
How simple? When my son’s fourth grade class was “writing books,” I gave a presentation on book writing. Some of the children were puzzled, but one little girl said, “It’s easy! Mommies have daughters, and when they grow up, they become mommies!”
- 46.
My own (complex and overdetermined) response to my insights, that moved many people and seemed true to me, was to undertake psychoanalytic training: I could not go deeper without clinical experience.
- 47.
Adrienne Harris, Gender as Soft Assembly (New York and London: Routledge, 2009).
- 48.
Chodorow, Individualizing Gender and Sexuality.
- 49.
Nell Freudenberger, Lost and Wanted (New York: Knopf, 2019).
- 50.
Freudenberger, Lost and Wanted, 197.
- 51.
Chodorow, The Power of Feelings, 79–90.
- 52.
Ibid., 121–126.
- 53.
Nancy J. Chodorow, “‘Too Late’: Ambivalence about Motherhood, Choice and Time,” Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association 51 (2003): 1181–1198.
- 54.
I note in the preface to the book’s second edition that The Reproduction of Mothering does not address the psychobiology of mothering or the rootedness of maternality in the female body, even as an internal mother-daughter bodily story can be taken from it. The physicality of childbirth, the stirrings of body in the young girl observing her mother’s pregnancy, menstruation, with its promise and danger of pregnancy—these all help constitute maternal experience. There were political, professional and personal reasons for this choice. When I was writing The Reproduction of Mothering, and long afterwards, women were not getting into graduate school or getting fellowships and jobs because, as they were told, “you will just get pregnant and leave.”
- 55.
Diane Ehrensaft finds that children and parents both imagine a father in the parental constellation, even if there is not one in the actual family. See Diane Ehrensaft, Mommies, Daddies, Donors, Surrogates (New York: Guilford Press, 2005).
- 56.
My clinical examples are disguised and composite.
- 57.
We recall Apfel and Keylor’s cautionary warning about thinking that sterility, infertility and other reproductive challenges are mainly psychogenic and best addressed through analysis or therapy rather than through infertility treatment. Roberta J. Apfel and Rheta G. Keylor, “Psychoanalysis and Infertility: Myths and Realities,” International Journal of Psycho-Analysis 83 (2002): 85–104.
- 58.
Almond, Pines, and Raphael-Leff provide clinically rich, biologically attuned accounts of these processes. See Almond, The Monster Within; Pines, A Woman’s Unconscious Use of her Body; Raphael-Leff, Pregnancy.
- 59.
The child analyst Calvin Settlage describes his centenarian patient’s reaction when both her daughter and her analyst were to be out of town at the same time and how this reaction echoed pre-oedipal separation fears from a century earlier. See Calvin F. Settlage, “Transcending Old Age: Creativity, Development and Psychoanalysis in the Life of a Centenarian,” International Journal of Psycho-Analysis 77 (1996): 549–564.
- 60.
Chodorow, “‘Too Late’”.
- 61.
In “Too Late,” I call Jenny and Susan (not their real names) “J” and “S.”
- 62.
Julia Kristeva, “Women’s Time,” in The Kristeva Reader, ed. Toril Moi (New York: Columbia University Press, 1986 [1979]), 187–213.
- 63.
In “Leonardo da Vinci and a Memory of his Childhood,” Freud (1910) writes about the Mona Lisa and what he calls “St. Anne with two others,” about how they stand near one another in time of painting and also in the Louvre. My observations here are, unlike Freud’s, not psychobiographical (or if they are, they draw from my own associations and psychobiography, not from Leonardo’s or Freud’s).
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Chodorow, N.J. (2021). Women Mother Daughters: The Reproduction of Mothering After Forty Years. In: Bueskens, P. (eds) Nancy Chodorow and The Reproduction of Mothering. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-55590-0_2
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