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Full Circle with Chodorow: Reflections on Women’s Desire and Lesbian Sexuality

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Nancy Chodorow and The Reproduction of Mothering

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Abstract

Nancy J. Chodorow’s seminal 1978 text, The Reproduction of Mothering: Psychoanalysis and the Sociology of Gender, offered a way to understand gender differences in personality development that revalued women’s relational capacities. Chodorow suggested men’s inability to meet women’s relational needs led women to turn to relationships with their children for satisfaction. Women’s sexual desire remained undertheorized. Based on McGleughlin’s unpublished work of the 1980s, this chapter pursues the possibility of women’s sexual subjectivity by linking the work of Nancy Chodorow and Jessica Benjamin. Further, it suggests that subjectivity and desire are not just developmental projects, but rather emerged from the intersubjectivity of the women’s movement. Looking back at the trajectory of tensions about women’s desire in the movement, it argues for the importance of sexual agency for women. Finally, I offer a personal story, seen through contemporary queer theory, to imagine that the “queer art of failure” disrupts the reproduction of compulsory ways of loving and making family.

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Notes

  1. 1.

    Nancy J. Chodorow, The Reproduction of Mothering: Psychoanalysis and the Sociology of Gender (Berkeley, CA: University of California Press, 1978).

  2. 2.

    John Gagnon and William Simon, Sexual Conduct: The Social Sources of Human Sexuality (Chicago: Aldine, 1973); Karla Jaye and Allen Young, The Gay Report: Lesbians and Gay Men Speak Out about Sexual Experiences and Lifestyles (New York: Summit Books, 1979); Letitia Anne Peplau and Hortensia Amaro, “Understanding Lesbian Relationships,” in Homosexuality: Social, Psychological, and Biological Issues, eds. William Paul, James D. Weinrich, John C. Gonsiorek, and Mary E. Hotvedt (Beverly Hills, CA: Sage, 1982), 233–247; Victoria A. Vetere, “The Role of Friendship in the Development and Maintenance of Lesbian Love Relationships,” Journal of Homosexuality 8, no. 2 (1983): 51–65.

  3. 3.

    Chodorow, The Reproduction of Mothering.

  4. 4.

    Philip Blumstein and Pepper Schwartz, American Couples: Money, Work, Sex (New York: William Morrow, 1983).

  5. 5.

    Jessica Benjamin, “A Desire of One’s Own: Psychodynamic Feminism and Intersubjective Space,” in Feminist Studies/Critical Studies, ed. Teresa de Lauretis. Bloomington, IN: Indiana University Press, 1986, 78–101.

  6. 6.

    Chodorow, The Reproduction of Mothering.

  7. 7.

    Nancy J. Chodorow, “Oedipal Asymmetries and Heterosexual Knots,” Social Problems 23, no. 4 (1976): 454–468; Chodorow, The Reproduction of Mothering.

  8. 8.

    Jessica Benjamin, The Bonds of Love (New York, Toronto: Pantheon Press, 1988).

  9. 9.

    Benjamin, “A Desire of One’s Own: Psychodynamic Feminism and Intersubjective Space”.

  10. 10.

    Ibid.

  11. 11.

    Joyce McDougall, A Plea for the Measure of Abnormality (New York: International Universities Press, 1980).

  12. 12.

    Benjamin, “A Desire of One’s Own,” 99.

  13. 13.

    Donald W. Winnicott, The Maturational Process and the Facilitating Environment: Studies in the Theory of Emotional Development (New York: International Universities Press, 1965), 41.

  14. 14.

    Benjamin, “A Desire of One’s Own.”

  15. 15.

    Nancy J. Chodorow, “Gender, Relation and Difference in Psychoanalytic Perspective,” in The Future of Difference (Newark: Rutgers University Press, 1985), 11.

  16. 16.

    Jessica Benjamin, “The Bonds of Love: Erotic Domination and Rational Violence,” Feminist Studies 6 (1980): 47.

  17. 17.

    Benjamin, “A Desire of One’s Own: Psychodynamic Feminism and Intersubjective Space.”

  18. 18.

    Jade McGleughlin, “Power, Liberation and Sexuality” (Division Three thesis, Hampshire College, 1982, Amherst, MA).

  19. 19.

    Jade McGleughlin, “The Freedom to Want Passionately: A Theoretical Exploration of Women’s Desire” (thesis, Smith College School for Social Work, 1987).

  20. 20.

    Chodorow, “Oedipal Asymmetries and Heterosexual Knots,” in The Reproduction of Mothering.

  21. 21.

    Benjamin, “A Desire of One’s Own,” in The Bonds of Love (New York: Pantheon, 1986).

  22. 22.

    Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique (New York: W. W. Norton, 1963). See also Germaine Greer, The Female Eunuch (London: MacGibbon & Kee, 1970).

  23. 23.

    Jill Lewis and Gloria Joseph, Common Differences: Conflicts in Black and White Feminist Perspectives (Garden City, NY: Anchor Books, 1981).

  24. 24.

    Alice Echols, “The Taming of the Id: Feminist Sexual Politics, 1968–83,” in Pleasure and Danger: Exploring Female Sexuality, ed. Carol S. Vance (Boston: Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1984), 50–72; Lewis and Joseph, Common Differences; McGleughlin, “Power, Liberation and Sexuality”; Carole S. Vance, ed., Pleasure and Danger: Exploring Female Sexuality (Boston: Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1984).

  25. 25.

    Marge Piercy, “The Grand Coolie Damn,” in Sisterhood Is Powerful: An Anthology of Writings from the Women’s Liberation Movement, ed. Robin Morgan (New York: Vintage Books, 1970), 473–492. See also Germaine Greer, The Female Eunuch.

  26. 26.

    Lewis and Joseph, Common Differences.

  27. 27.

    Echols, “The Taming of the Id”; Joan Nestle, “Butch-Fem Relationships: Sexual Courage in the 1950s,” Heresies 3, no. 4, 12 (1981): 21–24.

  28. 28.

    Morgan, “The Taming of the Id,” 59.

  29. 29.

    Echols, “The Taming of the Id.”

  30. 30.

    Blumstein and Schwartz, American Couples.

  31. 31.

    McGleughlin, “Power, Liberation and Sexuality.”

  32. 32.

    Madeline Davis and Elizabeth Kennedy, “Oral History and the Study of Sexuality in the Lesbian Community, Buffalo, New York, 1940–1960.” Feminist Studies 12, no. 1 (1986).

  33. 33.

    McGleughlin, “Power, Liberation and Sexuality.”

  34. 34.

    Nestle, “Butch-Fem Relationships: Sexual Courage in the 1950s.”

  35. 35.

    Lewis and Joseph, Common Differences.

  36. 36.

    Bell Hooks, Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center (Boston, MA: South End Press, 1984).

  37. 37.

    Kimberlé Crenshaw, “Mapping the Margins: Intersectionality, Identity Politics, and Violence against Women of Color,” Stanford Law Review 43, no. 6 (July 1991): 1241–1299.

  38. 38.

    Combahee River Collective, “The Combahee River Collective Statement,” in Home Girls: A Black Feminist Anthology, ed. Barbara Smith (New York: Kitchen Table Women of Color Press, Inc., 1983).

  39. 39.

    Sumi Cho, Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw, and Leslie McCall, “Toward a Field of Intersectionality Studies: Theory, Application and Praxis,” Signs 38, no. 4 (2013): 795.

  40. 40.

    Cho et al., “Toward a Field of Intersectionality Studies: Theory, Application and Praxis,” Signs 38, no. 4 (2013).

  41. 41.

    McGleughlin, “The Freedom to Want Passionately”.

  42. 42.

    Judith Housman, “Mothering, the Unconscious and Feminism,” Radical America 16, no. 6 (1982): 47–62.

  43. 43.

    Ibid., 49.

  44. 44.

    Gayle Rubin, “Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality,” In Pleasure and Danger: Exploring Female Sexuality, ed. Carol S. Vance (Boston: Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1984), 267–319.

  45. 45.

    Nestle, “Butch-Fem Relationships.”

  46. 46.

    Ibid., 21.

  47. 47.

    Davis and Kennedy, “Oral History and the Study of Sexuality in the Lesbian Community, Buffalo, New York, 1940–1960.”

  48. 48.

    McGleughlin, “The Freedom to Want Passionately.”

  49. 49.

    Jack Halberstam, Trans* (California: University of California Press, 2018).

  50. 50.

    Adrienne Harris, Gender as Soft Assembly (New York: Analytic Press, 2005).

  51. 51.

    Abigail Shrier, “The Transgender War on Women,” New York: The Wall Street Journal (March 26, 2019).

  52. 52.

    Katelyn Burns, “The Rise of Anti-trans ‘Radical’ Feminists, Explained,” Vox Media (September 5, 2019).

  53. 53.

    Davis and Kennedy, “Oral History and the Study of Sexuality in the Lesbian Community, Buffalo, New York, 1940–1960.”

  54. 54.

    Jack Halberstam, The Queer Art of Failure (Durham: Duke University Press, 2011).

  55. 55.

    Ibid., 126.

  56. 56.

    Halberstam, The Queer Art of Failure.

  57. 57.

    Halberstam, The Queer Art of Failure, 70.

  58. 58.

    Judith Butler, Giving an Account of One’s Self (New York: Fordham University Press, 2005).

  59. 59.

    Bersani, The Freudian Body.

  60. 60.

    Ibid., 41.

  61. 61.

    Halberstam, The Queer Art of Failure, 124.

  62. 62.

    Kathryn Bond Stockton, The Queer Child, or Growing Sideways in the Twentieth Century (Durham and London: Duke University Press, 2009).

  63. 63.

    Stockton, The Queer Child, 13.

  64. 64.

    Ibid., 12.

  65. 65.

    Fred Moten, In the Break: The Aesthetics of the Black Radical Tradition (Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 2003).

  66. 66.

    Saidiya Hartman, Lose Your Mother: A Journey along the Atlantic Slave Route (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2008), 103.

  67. 67.

    Jack Halberstam, The Queer Art of Failure, 132.

  68. 68.

    Ibid., 126.

  69. 69.

    Ibid., 70.

  70. 70.

    Ibid.

  71. 71.

    Olga Broumas, Beginning with O (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1977).

  72. 72.

    Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, Epistemology of the Closet (Los Angeles: University of California Press, 1990).

  73. 73.

    Jade McGleughlin, “Can a Diamond Ever Be Gay?” Studies in Gender and Sexuality 9, no. 2 (2008): 184–205.

  74. 74.

    Jade McGleughlin, “The Analyst’s Necessary Vertigo,” Psychoanalytic Dialogues 21, no. 5 (2011): 630–642.

  75. 75.

    Sara Ahmed, The Cultural Politics of Emotion (Edinburgh, Scotland: Edinburgh University Press, 2004).

  76. 76.

    Maxwell McGleughlin, “Two Way Reaching” (undergraduate graduation paper, Wesleyan University, 2017).

  77. 77.

    Jose Esteban Munoz, Cruising Utopia: The Then and There of Queer Futurity (New York: New York University Press, 2010).

  78. 78.

    Jean Laplanche, Essays on Otherness (New York: Routledge, 1999).

  79. 79.

    Jade McGleughlin, “The Analyst’s Necessary Non-Sovereignty and the Generative Power of the Negative,” Psychanalytic Dialogues (2020).

  80. 80.

    Eyal Rozmarin, Identity In-Formation, Talk for The International Psychoanalytic Association (London, England, July 26, 2019). Is there a date, location and link for this talk?

  81. 81.

    Butler, Giving an Account of One’s Self.

  82. 82.

    Ahmed, The Cultural Politics of Emotion.

  83. 83.

    Brian Massumi, “The Autonomy of Affect,” in Cultural Critique (Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 1995).

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    Jade McGleughlin

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    Petra Bueskens

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McGleughlin, J. (2021). Full Circle with Chodorow: Reflections on Women’s Desire and Lesbian Sexuality. In: Bueskens, P. (eds) Nancy Chodorow and The Reproduction of Mothering. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-55590-0_11

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