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What’s Love Got to Do with It? Sex and the Korean American College Student and Young Adult

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Pastoral Care in a Korean American Context

Part of the book series: Asian Christianity in the Diaspora ((ACID))

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Abstract

This chapter dives into sexuality, a taboo subject among most Korean Americans families. Despite the rampant exposure of sexuality in the popular media, Korean American Christian families rarely talk about sexuality as they rigidly hold onto the conservative sexual ethics of both Korean culture and evangelical Christianity that emphasize purity, chastity, and holiness. Taking into account a growing gap between the promiscuous aspects of modern culture and the traditional sexual ethics of Korean American evangelical churches, this chapter goes beyond a prescriptive sexual ethics. Rather, it explores biblically grounded and reflective sexual ethics based on a paradigm of covenantal friendship informed by the Gospel of John that stresses faithfulness, mutuality, and self-sacrifice.

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Notes

  1. 1.

    Also, for a contextual theological analysis of this video, see Joseph Cheah and Grace Ji-Sun Kim, Theological Reflections on “Gangnam Style”: A Racial, Sexual, and Cultural Critique (New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2014).

  2. 2.

    This “suspicion” toward sexuality is prevalent throughout the church history, including Clement of Alexandria, Origen, Athenasius, Chrysostom, and more. See Rodney Clapp, Tortured Wonders: Christian Spirituality for People, Not Angels (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Brazos Press, 2004), 51–58.

  3. 3.

    For further reading, see Bonnie L. Halpern-Felsher et al., “Oral Versus Vaginal Sex among Adolescents: Perceptions, Attitudes, and Behavior,” Pediatrics 115, no. 4 (2005): 845–851.

  4. 4.

    This and all the following student statements are from a course I teach in which students submit reflection journals. I have permission from the students to use these reflections, but for the sake of anonymity and privacy, their names and all other identifiers have been removed.

  5. 5.

    Derald Wing Sue and David Sue, Counseling the Culturally Diverse: Theory and Practice, 6th ed. (New York: Wiley, 2013), 202.

  6. 6.

    Systematic theologian James McClendon defines culture as a “set of meaningful practices, dominant attitudes, and characteristic ways of doing things that typify a community (or a society or a civilization).” James W. McClendon, Witness, Vol. 3, Systematic Theology, (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 2000), 50.

  7. 7.

    Ibid.

  8. 8.

    Cited in Boyung Lee, “Teaching Justice and Living Peace: Body, Sexuality, and Religious Education in Asian-American Communities,” Religious Education 101, no. 3 (2006): 409–410. In addition, see http://abcnews.go.com/2020/WomensHealth/story?id=123701

  9. 9.

    Boyoung Lee, “Teaching Justice and Living Peace,” 410.

  10. 10.

    Insook Lee, “Homoeroticism and Homosexuality in Korean Confucian Culture,” Sacred Spaces: The E-Journal of the American Association of Pastoral Counselors, 8 (2016): 77. Lee quotes Confucius: “The gentleman should guard against it in youth when the bold and chi [flow of life force] are still unsettled; he should guard against attraction of feminine beauty” (Analects of Confucius, 16:7). It is notable, though, kings or nobilities own more than one wife, even multiple concubines.

  11. 11.

    Boyoung Lee, “Teaching Justice and Living Peace,” 406, 408. According to Lee, Asian persons that identity as lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) or another sexual minority encounter discrimination for both the sexual and racial aspects of their personhood from the Asian community. In fact, any kind of sexuality apart from heterosexuality is seen as Westernization and abandoning one’s ethnic heritage. The notion of the preference for male bodies can also be noted from multiple other cultures, including the Old Testament Hebraic and New Testament Greco-Roman cultures.

  12. 12.

    Donna Freitas, Sex and the Soul: Juggling Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance, and Religion on America’s College Campuses (New York: Oxford University Press, 2008).

  13. 13.

    Boyoung Lee, “Teaching Justice and Living Peace,” 413.

  14. 14.

    Vuying Tong, “Acculturation, Gender Disparity, and the Sexual Behavior of Asian American Youth,” Journal of Sex Research 50, no. 6 (2013): 560.

  15. 15.

    Sumie Okazaki, “Influences of Culture on Asian-Americans’ Sexuality,” Journal of Sex Research 39, no. 1 (2002): 35–36.

  16. 16.

    McLaughlin et al., “Family, Peer, and Individual Correlates of Sexual Experience among Caucasian and Asian American Late Adolescents,” Journal of Research on Adolescence 7, no. 1 (1997).

  17. 17.

    Judith K. Balswick and Jack O. Balswick, Authentic Human Sexuality: An Integrated Christian Approach, 2nd ed. (Downers Grove, Ill.: IVP Academic, 2008), 146. One study showed that “adolescents perceive oral sex as less risky, more beneficial, more prevalent, and more acceptable than vaginal sex.” The study recommends education about oral sex—“the potential health, emotional, and social consequences and methods to prevent negative outcomes for all sexual activities, including non-coital behaviors such as oral sex”—in order to help adolescents make informed sexual decisions. Bonnie Halpern-Felsher et al., “Oral Versus Vaginal Sex among Adolescents,” Pediatrics 115 (2005), 845–850.

  18. 18.

    Bonnie Halpern-Felsher et al., “Oral Versus Vaginal Sex among Adolescents,” 849.

  19. 19.

    See http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2013/07/27/why-millennials-are-leaving-the-church/

  20. 20.

    Robert Kegan, The Evolving Self: Problem and Process in Human Development (Cambridge: Harvard University, 1982), quoted in Lee, 417.

  21. 21.

    Ibid.

  22. 22.

    Peter Phan, “Betwix and Between: Doing Theology with Memory and Imagination,” in Journeys at the Margin: Toward an Autobiographical Theology in American-Asian Perspective, ed. Peter Phan and Jung Young Lee (Collegeville, MN: Liturgincal Press, 1999), 128–129.

  23. 23.

    George Mendenhall and Gary Herion, “Covenant,” in The Anchor Bible Dictionary, ed. David Noel Freedman (New York: Doubleday, 1992), 1201. In Hebrews, the writer emphasizes the faithfulness of God (10:23) “who above all is ‘faithful,’ whose promise can be utterly relied.” Jesus Christ is the one who lived out that faithfulness and we as his disciples are called to follow that example. James D. G. Dunn, “Faith, Faithfulness,” in The New Interpreter’s Dictionary of the Bible, ed. Katharine D. Sakenfield (Nashville: Abingdon, 2007), 422.

  24. 24.

    All quoted Scripture are from New Revised Standard Version.

  25. 25.

    Elizabeth Stuart, “The Theological Study of Sexuality,” in The Oxford Handbook of Theology, Sexuality, and Gender., ed. Adrian Thatcher (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2015), 28.

  26. 26.

    Balswick and Balswick, Authentic Human Sexuality, 151.

  27. 27.

    Lewis B. Smedes, Sex for Christians: The Limits and Liberties of Sexual Living (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1994), 122.

  28. 28.

    Balswick and Balswick, Authentic Human Sexuality, 88.

  29. 29.

    Glen H. Stassen and David P. Gushee, Kingdom Ethics: Following Jesus in Contemporary Context (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity, 2003), 291–92.

  30. 30.

    Ibid.

  31. 31.

    Mary Hunt, Fierce Tenderness: A Feminist Theology of Friendship (New York: Crossroad, 1991), 29.

  32. 32.

    There are those who choose celibacy for vocation-sake in Christian life and those who remain single for manifold reasons. Those who are single also are fulfilled in their own understanding of self and sexuality through these relationships of deep friendship that mirror the life of Jesus with his disciples. Meaningful forms of sexual expression, albeit different from sexual intercourse, are possible for those who are single. In early church history, the life of singleness was more often preferred, following the Pauline imperative in 1 Corinthians 7.

  33. 33.

    From Pop-Music: “Get Lucky” released in 2013 by Daft Punk and “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” released in 1984 by Tina Turner.

  34. 34.

    Sarah Coakley’s exhortation for Christian discipleship in Stuart, “The Theological Study of Sexuality,” 28.

  35. 35.

    Lauren F. Winner, Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Brazos Press, 2006), 134. This definition arises from the New Testament understanding of distorted sexuality: “fornication” and “sexual immorality”—Acts 15:20; 1 Cor 5:1, 6:13, 18: 7:2, 10:8; 2 Cor 12:21; Gal 5:19; Eph 5:3; Col 3:5; 1 Thess 4:3.

  36. 36.

    For more suggestions like these, see Balswick and Balswick, Authentic Human Sexuality, 157–158.

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Oh, K.S. (2020). What’s Love Got to Do with It? Sex and the Korean American College Student and Young Adult. In: Son, A. (eds) Pastoral Care in a Korean American Context. Asian Christianity in the Diaspora. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-48575-7_7

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