Abstract
This chapter focuses on the multiple ways in which victims, perpetrators, and grown children handle the load of painful memories and losses. In the participants' experience, the violence never stops, but rather changes form and expression and, due to its cumulative effect, is experienced as ever escalating. The aging dyad is conflict-ridden; the conflict becomes acerbated over time to the unbridgeable schism level.
Parental relationships can also be arranged on a continuum ranging from harmful, to positive parenting. As the parents age, their caregiving expectations from their children come to the fore. The effort to sustain a seeming appearance of family life in the face of violence is an ongoing manipulation of figure and ground and leaves its imprint on each of the family members and has losses as a central theme.
This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.
Access this chapter
Tax calculation will be finalised at checkout
Purchases are for personal use only
References
Awiakta, M. (1991). Daydreaming primal space. In P. Lanier (Ed.), The poetics of Appalachian space. Knoxville, TN: University of Tennessee Press.
Bancroft, L., & Silverman, J. G. (2002). The batterer as parent: Addressing the impact of domestic violence on family dynamics. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publication.
Bengtson, V. L., Giarrusso, R., Silverstein, M., & Wang, H. (2000). Families and intergenerational relationships in aging societies. Hallym International Journal of Aging, 2, 3–10.
Buchbinder, E. (2004). Motherhood of battered women: The struggle for repairing the past. Clinical Social Work Journal, 32, 307–326. doi:10.1023/B:CSOW.0000035110.10602.ec.
Butler, R. N. (1977). The life review: An interpretation of reminiscence in the aged. In L. R. Almann & D. T. Jaffe (Eds.), Reading in adult psychology: Contemporary perspectives (pp. 329–339). New York, NY: Harper & Row.
Christianson, S. A. (1992). Remembering emotional events: Potential mechanisms. In S. A. Cristianson (Ed.), The handbook of emotion and memory: Research and theory (pp. 307–340). Hillsdale, NY: Lawrence Erlbaum.
Connidis, I. A., & McMullin, J. A. (2002). Sociological ambivalence and family ties: A critical perspective. Journal of Marriage and Family, 64, 558–567. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2002.00558.x.
Conway, M. A. (1990). Autobiographical memory. Philadelphia, PA: Open University Press.
Denzin, N. K. (1984). Toward a phenomenology of domestic, family violence. American Journal of Sociology, 90, 483–513. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/stable/2779293.
Edleson, J. L., & Williams, O. J. (2007). Introduction: Involving men who batter in their children's lives. In J. L. Edleson & O. J. Williams (Eds.), Interpersonal violence. Parenting by men who batter: New directions for assessment and intervention (pp. 3–18). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
Eisikovits, Z., & Band-Winterstein, T. Dimensions of suffering among old and young battered women. Accepted for publication in Journal of Family Violence.
Eisikovits, Z., & Winstok, Z. (2002). Reconstructing intimate violence: The structure and content of recollections of violent events. Qualitative Health Research, 12, 685–699.
Elder, G. H., Jr. (2000). The life course. In E. F. Borgatta & R. J. V. Montgomery (Eds.), Encyclopedia of sociology (2nd ed., Vol. 3, pp. 1614–1622). New York, NY: Macmillan.
Eyal, N. (1996). Real time: The personal experience of time. Tel Aviv: Aryeh Nir Publishers [Hebrew].
Gillsjö, C., & Schwartz‐Barcott, D. (2011). A concept analysis of home and its meaning in the lives of three older adults. International Journal of Older People Nursing, 6(1), 4–12. doi:10.1111/j.1748-3743.2010.00207.x.
Goldblatt, H., & Eisikovits, Z. (2005). Role taking of youths in a family context: Adolescents exposed to interparental violence. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 17, 644–657.
Graham-Bermann, S. A. (1996). Family worries: Assessment of interpersonal anxiety in children from violent and non-violent families. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 25, 280–285.
Heidegger, M. (1966). Being and time. New York, NY: Harper& Row.
Heidegger, M. (1971). Building, dwelling, thinking. In A. Hofstader (Ed.), Poetry, language, thought. New York, NY: Harper & Row.
Hogerbrugge, M. J. A., & Komter, A. E. (2012). Solidarity and ambivalence: Comparing two perspectives on intergenerational relations using longitudinal panel data. The Journals of Gerontology. Series B, Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, 67B, 372–383. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbr157.
Holden, G., & Ritchie, K. (1991). Linking extreme marital discord, child rearing, and child behavior problems: Evidence from battered women. Child Development, 62, 311–327.
Husserl, E. (1962). Ideas: General introduction to pure phenomenology. New York, NY: Collier.
Izuhara, M. (Ed.). (2010). Ageing and intergenerational relations: Family reciprocity from a global perspective. Bristol: The Policy Press.
Johnson, M. K., & Multhhaup, K. S. (1992). Emotion and men. In S. A. Cristianson (Ed.), The handbook of emotion and memory: Research and theory (pp. 33–66). Hillsdale, NY: Lawrence Erlbaum.
Johnston, J., & Campbell, L. (1993). Parent-child relationships in domestic violence families disputing custody. Family and Conciliation Courts Review, 31, 282–298.
Levendosky, A. A., & Graham-Bermann, S. A. (2001). Parenting in battered women: The effects of domestic violence on women and their children. Journal of Family Violence, 16(2), 171–192.
Marris, P. (1980). The uprooting of meaning. In G. V. Coelho & P. I. Ahmed (Eds.), Uprooting & development: Dillemas of coping and modernization (pp. 110–116). New York, NY: Plenum.
McMahon, M., & Pence, E. (1995). Doing more harm than good? Some cautions on visitation centers. In E. Peled, P. Jaffe, & J. Edleson (Eds.), Ending the cycle of violence: Community responses to children of battered women (pp. 186–206). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Moloney, M. F. (1997). The meaning of home in the stories of older women. Western Journal of Nursing Research, 19(2), 166–176.
Novak, N. (1971). The experience of nothingness. New York, NY: Harper & Row.
Peled, E. (1998). The experience of living with violence for preadolescent children of battered women. Youth and Society, 29, 395–430.
Peled, E., Davidson-Arad, B., & Perel, G. (2010). The mothering of women abused by their partner: An outcome evaluation of a group intervention. Research on Social Work Practice, 20, 391–402. doi:10.1177/1049731510362225.
Peled, E., & Gil, I. B. (2011). The mothering perceptions of women abused by their partner. Violence Against Women, 17, 457–479. doi:10.1177/1077801211404676.
Peled, E., & Perel, G. (2007). A conceptual framework for fathering intervention with men who batter. In J. L. Edleson & O. J. Williams (Eds.), Interpersonal violence. Parenting by men who batter: New directions for assessment and intervention (pp. 85–101). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
Perel, G., & Peled, E. (2008). The fathering of violent men: Constriction and yearning. Violence Against Women, 14, 457–482. doi:10.1177/1077801208314846.
Reitz, R. R. (1999). Batterers’ experiences of being violent: A phenomenological study. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 23, 143–165.
Rybak, A. M. (2012). Idealizowanieprzeszlości—Różnica w dystrybucjipozytywnychinegatywnychwspomnieńnaprzestrzeniczasu (The idealization of the past—The difference in the distribution of positive and negative memories over time). Przegląd Psychologiczny, 55(1), 29–40.
Sampson, R. J., & Laub, J. H. (2005). A life-course view of the development of crime. Annals of the American Academy of Political and Social Science, 602, 12–45. doi:10.1177/0002716205280075.
Sartre, J. P. (1969). Being and nothingness. London: Mertuen (H. Barnes trans.).
Smith, M. J., & Hightower, J. (2000). Domestic violence & older women. Partner Abuse, 11, 12–13.
Sternberg, K., Lamb, M., & Dawud-Noursi, S. (1998). Using multiple informants to understand domestic violence and its effects. In G. Holden, R. Geffner, & E. Jourliles (Eds.), Children exposed to marital violence: Theory, research, and applied issues (pp. 121–156). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Turner, J. H. (1982). Alternative approach to interactionist theorizing: Phenomenology and ethnomethodology. In J. H. Turner (Ed.), The structure of sociological theory (pp. 389–399). Homewood, IL: The Dorsey Press.
vanSelm, M., & Dittmann-Kohli, F. (1998). Meaninglessness in the second half of life: The development of construct. International Journal of Aging and Human Development, 47(2), 81–104.
Winstok, Z. (2013). Partner violence: A new paradigm for understanding conflict escalation. New York, NY: Springer.
Winstok, Z., Eisikovits, Z., & Gelles, R. (2002). Structure and dynamics of escalation from the batterer's perspective. Families in Society, 83, 129–141.
Winterstein, T. (2002). Becoming old in violence: Life stories of elderly battered women. Unpublished master’s thesis, University of Haifa, Haifa, Israel. [Hebrew].
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Rights and permissions
Copyright information
© 2014 Springer Science+Business Media New York
About this chapter
Cite this chapter
Band-Winterstein, T., Eisikovits, Z. (2014). Carrying the Burden for a Lifetime . In: Intimate Violence Across the Lifespan. The Springer Series on Human Exceptionality. Springer, New York, NY. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4939-1354-1_3
Download citation
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4939-1354-1_3
Published:
Publisher Name: Springer, New York, NY
Print ISBN: 978-1-4939-1353-4
Online ISBN: 978-1-4939-1354-1
eBook Packages: Behavioral ScienceBehavioral Science and Psychology (R0)