Skip to main content
SpringerLink
Log in

Attractiveness and Rivalry in Women’s Same-Sex Friendships

  • Chapter
  • First Online:
Book cover Evolutionary Perspectives on Human Sexual Psychology and Behavior

Part of the book series: Evolutionary Psychology ((EVOLPSYCH))

Abstract

The human tendency to affiliate with similar others is manifested in a variety of interpersonal relationships, including same-sex friendships. We propose that similarity between female friends in physical attractiveness entails both benefits and costs, with one cost being the potential for mating rivalry. In this chapter we discuss previous research on the prevalence and potential benefits of allying with similar others, the nature of intrasexual competition between women, and the intimate yet competitive nature of women’s friendships with other women. Then, we describe two recent studies from our lab designed to test the proposal that female friends are similarly attractive and that discrepancies in friends’ physical attractiveness levels are tied to perceptions of rivalry in their friendship. We demonstrate that female friends assort on attributes tied to intrasexual competition among women, specifically body shape and overall attractiveness. We also demonstrate that discrepancies in female friends’ attractiveness are linked to women’s perceptions of rivalry in their friendships. Finally, we provide discriminant evidence of these effects; specifically, attributes less relevant to women’s mate value, such as ambition and athleticism, are not tied to women’s perceptions of rivalry with their friends. We discuss the unique character of female friendships in the context of an evolutionary history dominated by male philopatry, and we offer ideas for future research on how sexual behavior is tied to female–female friendship dynamics.

This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.

Access this chapter

Log in via an institution
Chapter
USD 29.95
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Available as PDF
  • Read on any device
  • Instant download
  • Own it forever
eBook
USD 129.00
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Available as EPUB and PDF
  • Read on any device
  • Instant download
  • Own it forever
Softcover Book
USD 169.99
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Compact, lightweight edition
  • Dispatched in 3 to 5 business days
  • Free shipping worldwide - see info
Hardcover Book
USD 169.99
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Durable hardcover edition
  • Dispatched in 3 to 5 business days
  • Free shipping worldwide - see info

Tax calculation will be finalised at checkout

Purchases are for personal use only

Institutional subscriptions

Notes

  1. 1.

    One might raise the argument that we found links between rivalry and attractiveness because the items comprising the mating rivalry composite are specific to attractiveness. However, only one of the seven rivalry items actually mentioned attractiveness (“I feel unattractive in comparison to her”), and our findings on attractiveness and rivalry were unchanged when we ran analyses without that item.

References

  • Alvarez, L., & Jaffe, K. (2004). Narcissism guides mate selection: Humans mate assortatively, as revealed by facial resemblance, following an algorithm of ‘self seeking like’. Evolutionary Psychology, 2, 177–194.

    Google Scholar 

  • Apter, T., & Josselson, R. (1998). Best friends: The pleasures and perils of girls’ and women’s friendships. New York: Three Rivers Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Baumeister, R. F. (2010). Is there anything good about men?: How cultures flourish by exploiting men. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Benenson, J. F., & Christakos, A. (2003). The greater fragility of females’ versus males’ closest same-sex friendships. Child Development, 74, 1123–1129. doi:10.1111/1467-8624.00596.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Berg, J. H. (1984). Development of friendship between roommates. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 46, 346–356. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.46.2.346.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Billy, J. O., Rodgers, J. L., & Udry, J. (1984). Adolescent sexual behavior and friendship choice. Social Forces, 62, 653–678. doi:10.2307/2578705.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bleske, A. L., & Shackelford, T. K. (2001). Poaching, promiscuity, and deceit: Combating mating rivalry in same-sex friendships. Personal Relationships, 8, 407–424.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Bleske-Rechek, A., & Lighthall, M. (2010). Attractiveness and rivalry in women’s friendships with women. Human Nature, 21, 82–97. doi:10.1007/s12110-010-9081-5.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Bleske-Rechek, A., Remiker, M. W., & Baker, J. P. (2009). Similar from the start: Assortment in young adult dating couples and its link to relationship stability over time. Individual Differences Research, 7, 142–158.

    Google Scholar 

  • Boothroyd, L. G., Jones, B. C., Burt, D. M., DeBruine, L. M., & Perrett, D. I. (2008). Facial correlates of sociosexuality. Evolution and Human Behavior, 29, 211–218.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Brewer, M. B. (1979). In-group bias in the minimal intergroup situation: A cognitive-motivational analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 86, 307–324. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.86.2.307.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Burriss, R. P., Roberts, S., Welling, L. M., Puts, D. A., & Little, A. C. (2011). Heterosexual romantic couples mate assortatively for facial symmetry, but not masculinity. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37, 601–613. doi:10.1177/0146167211399584.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Buss, D. M. (1988). The evolution of human intrasexual competition: Tactics of mate attraction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54, 616–628. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.54.4.616.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Buss, D. M., & Dedden, L. A. (1990). Derogation of competitors. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 7, 395–422. doi:10.1177/0265407590073006.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Buss, D. M., Shackelford, T. K., Choe, J., Buunk, B. P., & Dijkstra, P. (2000). Distress about mating rivals. Personal Relationships, 7, 235–243. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2000.tb00014.x.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Campbell, A. (1995). A few good men: Evolutionary psychology and female adolescent aggression. Ethology & Sociobiology, 16, 99–123. doi:10.1016/0162-3095(94)00072-F.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Campbell, A. (1999). Staying alive: Evolution, culture, and women’s intrasexual aggression. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 22, 203–252. doi:10.1017/S0140525X99001818.

    PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Campbell, L., & Wilbur, C. J. (2009). Are the traits we prefer in potential mates the traits they value in themselves? An analysis of sex differences in the self-concept. Self and Identity, 8, 418–446. doi:10.1080/15298860802505434.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Cashdan, E. (1998). Are men more competitive than women? British Journal of Social Psychology, 37, 213–229. doi:10.1111/j.2044-8309.1998.tb01166.x.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Cohen, J. M. (1977). Sources of peer group homogeneity. Sociology of Education, 50, 227–241. doi:10.2307/2112497.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Confer, J. C., Perilloux, C., & Buss, D. M. (2010). More than just a pretty face: Men’s priority shifts toward bodily attractiveness in short-term versus long-term mating contexts. Evolution and Human Behavior, 31, 348–353.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Coutinho, S. A., Hartnett, J. L., & Sagarin, B. J. (2007). Understanding promiscuity in strategic friend selection from an evolutionary perspective. North American Journal of Psychology, 9, 257–274.

    Google Scholar 

  • Currie, T. E., & Little, A. C. (2009). The relative importance of the face and body in judgments of human physical attractiveness. Evolution and Human Behavior, 30, 409–416. doi:10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2009.06.005.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • de Waal, F. B., & Luttrell, L. M. (1986). The similarity principle underlying social bonding among female rhesus monkeys. Folia Primatologica, 46, 215–234. doi:10.1159/000156255.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • DelPriore, D. J., Hill, S. E., & Buss, D. M. (2012). Envy: Functional specificity and sex-differentiated design features. Personality and Individual Differences, 53, 317–322.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Dijkstra, P., & Buunk, B. P. (2002). Sex differences in the jealousy-evoking effect of rival characteristics. European Journal of Social Psychology, 32, 829–852. doi:10.1002/ejsp.125.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Dixson, B. J., Grimshaw, G. M., Linklater, W. L., & Dixson, A. F. (2011). Eye-tracking of men’s preferences for waist-to-hip ratio and breast size of women. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40, 43–50. doi:10.1007/s10508-009-9523-5.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Durante, K. M., Griskevicius, V., Hill, S. E., Perilloux, C., & Li, N. P. (2011). Ovulation, female competition, and product choice: Hormonal influences on consumer behavior. Journal of Consumer Research, 37, 921–934. doi:10.1086/656575.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Eichenbaum, L., & Orbach, S. (1987). Between women: Love, envy, and competition in women’s friendships. New York: Penguin Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Feingold, A. (1988). Matching for attractiveness in romantic partners and same-sex friends: A meta-analysis and theoretical critique. Psychological Bulletin, 104, 226–235. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.104.2.226.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Fisher, L. A., & Bauman, K. E. (1988). Influence and selection in the friend–adolescent relationship: Findings from studies of adolescent smoking and drinking. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 18, 289–314. doi:10.1111/j.1559-1816.1988.tb00018.x.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gail-Alfonso, N. (2006). The experience of envy between young women and their female friends: A psychological perspective. Newton, MA: Dissertation Abstracts International, Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology.

    Google Scholar 

  • Gangestad, S. W., & Scheyd, G. J. (2005). The evolution of human physical attractiveness. Annual Review of Anthropology, 34, 523–548. doi:10.1146/annurev.anthro.33.070203.143733.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Geary, D. C. (2010). Male, female: The evolution of human sex differences (2nd ed.). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

    Book  Google Scholar 

  • Geary, D. C., & Flinn, M. V. (2001). Evolution of human parental behavior and the human family. Parenting: Science and Practice, 1, 5–61.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gutierres, S. E., Kenrick, D. T., & Partch, J. J. (1999). Beauty, dominance, and the mating game: Contrast effects in self-assessment reflect gender differences in mate selection. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 25, 1126–1134. doi:10.1177/01461672992512006.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Hill, S. E., & Durante, K. M. (2011). Courtship, competition, and the pursuit of attractiveness: Mating goals facilitate health-related risk taking and strategic risk suppression in women. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37, 383–394.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Huston, T. L., & Levinger, G. (1978). Interpersonal attraction and relationships. Annual Review of Psychology, 29, 115–156. doi:10.1146/annurev.ps.29.020178.000555.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Hutchinson, D. M., & Rapee, R. M. (2007). Do friends share similar body image and eating problems? The role of social networks and peer influences in early adolescence. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 45, 1557–1577. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2006.11.007.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Jackson, J. J., & Kirkpatrick, L. A. (2007). The structure and measurement of human mating strategies: Toward a multidimensional model of sociosexuality. Evolution and Human Behavior, 28, 382–391.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Kandel, D. B. (1978). Similarity in real-life adolescent friendship pairs. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 36, 306–312. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.36.3.306.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Kernis, M. H., & Wheeler, L. (1981). Beautiful friends and ugly strangers: Radiation and contrast effects in perceptions of same-sex pairs. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 7, 617–620. doi:10.1177/014616728174017.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Larson, R., & Richards, M. H. (1994). Divergent realities: The emotional loves of mothers, fathers, and adolescents. New York: Basic Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lassek, W. D., & Gaulin, S. J. (2008). Waist-hip ratio and cognitive ability: Is gluteofemoral fat a privileged store of neurodevelopmental resources? Evolution and Human Behavior, 29, 26–34.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Ledbetter, A. M., Griffin, E., & Sparks, G. G. (2007). Forecasting ‘friends forever’: A longitudinal investigation of sustained closeness between best friends. Personal Relationships, 14, 343–350. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2007.00158.x.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Luo, S., & Klohnen, E. C. (2005). Assortative mating and marital quality in newlyweds: A couple-centered approach. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88, 304–326. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.88.2.304.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Madsen, E. A., Tunney, R. J., Fieldman, G., Plotkin, H. C., Dunbar, R. M., Richardson, J., et al. (2007). Kinship and altruism: A cross-cultural experimental study. British Journal of Psychology, 98, 339–359. doi:10.1348/000712606X129213.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Mahajan, N., & Wynn, K. (2012). Origins of ‘us’ versus ‘them’: Prelinguistic infants prefer similar others. Cognition, 124, 227–233. doi:10.1016/j.cognition.2012.05.003.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Maner, J. K., Gailliot, M. T., & DeWall, C. (2007). Adaptive attentional attunement: Evidence for mating-related perceptual bias. Evolution and Human Behavior, 28, 28–36. doi:10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2006.05.006.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • McPherson, M., Smith-Lovin, L., & Cook, J. M. (2001). Birds of a feather: Homophily in social networks. Annual Review of Sociology, 27, 415–444. doi:10.1146/annurev.soc.27.1.415.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • O’Connor, P. (1992). Friendships between women: A critical review. New York: Guilford Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Penton-Voak, I. S., Little, A. C., Jones, B. C., Burt, D. M., Tiddeman, B. P., & Perrett, D. I. (2003). Female condition influences preferences for sexual dimorphism in faces of male humans (Homo sapiens). Journal of Comparative Psychology, 117, 264–271. doi:10.1037/0735-7036.117.3.264.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Perilloux, H. K., Webster, G. D., & Gaulin, S. J. C. (2010). Signals of genetic quality and maternal investment capacity: The dynamic effects of fluctuating asymmetry and waist-to-hip ratio on men’s ratings of women’s attractiveness. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 1, 34–42.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Peters, M., Rhodes, G., & Simmons, L. W. (2007). Contributions of the face and body to overall attractiveness. Animal Behaviour, 73, 937–942. doi:10.1016/j.anbehav.2006.07.012.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Preder, S. M., Fasteland, K. A., & Bleske-Rechek, A. (2006, June). Agreement and assortment in same-sex friendship: Why sexual strategy matters. Poster presented at the annual conference of the Human Behavior and Evolution Society, Philadelphia, PA.

    Google Scholar 

  • Reis, H. T., Maniaci, M. R., Caprariello, P. A., Eastwick, P. W., & Finkel, E. J. (2011). Familiarity does indeed promote attraction in live interaction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101, 557–570. doi:10.1037/a0022885.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Rushton, J. (1989). Genetic similarity, human altruism, and group selection. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 12, 503–559. doi:10.1017/S0140525X00057320.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Rushton, J., & Bons, T. (2005). Mate choice and friendship in twins: Evidence for genetic similarity. Psychological Science, 16, 555–559. doi:10.1111/j.0956-7976.2005.01574.x.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Rushton, J., Russell, R. J., & Wells, P. A. (1984). Genetic similarity theory: Beyond kin selection. Behavior Genetics, 14, 179–193. doi:10.1007/BF01065540.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Schaller, M., & Neuberg, S. L. (2008). Intergroup prejudices and intergroup conflicts. In C. Crawford & D. Krebs (Eds.), Foundations of evolutionary psychology (pp. 401–414). New York: Taylor & Francis Group/Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

    Google Scholar 

  • Seyfarth, R. M., & Cheney, D. L. (2012). The evolutionary origins of friendship. Annual Review of Psychology, 63, 153–177. doi:10.1146/annurev-psych-120710-100337.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Silk, J. B., Alberts, S. C., & Altmann, J. (2003). Social bonds of female baboons enhance infant survival. Science, 302, 1231–1234. doi:10.1126/science.1088580.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Tesser, A., & Campbell, J. L. (1982). Self-evaluation maintenance and the perception of friends and strangers. Journal of Personality, 50, 261–279. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6494.1982.tb00750.x.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Tolson, J. M., & Urberg, K. A. (1993). Similarity between adolescent best friends. Journal of Adolescent Research, 8, 274–288. doi:10.1177/074355489383003.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Tooby, J., & Cosmides, L. (1996). Friendship and the Banker’s Paradox: Other pathways to the evolution of adaptations for altruism. In W. G. Runciman, J. Maynard Smith, & R. I. M. Dunbar (Eds.), Evolution of social behaviour patterns in primates and man (Proceedings of the British Academy, Vol. 88, pp. 119–143). Oxford: Oxford University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Tooke, W., & Camire, L. (1991). Patterns of deception in intersexual and intrasexual mating strategies. Ethology & Sociobiology, 12, 345–364. doi:10.1016/0162-3095(91)90030-T.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Urberg, K. A., Degirmencioglu, S. M., & Tolson, J. M. (1998). Adolescent friendship selection and termination: The role of similarity. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 15, 703–710. doi:10.1177/0265407598155008.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Vaillancourt, T., & Sharma, A. (2011). Intolerance of sexy peers: Intrasexual competition among women. Aggressive Behavior, 37, 569–577. doi:10.1002/ab.20413.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Vandenberg, S. G. (1972). Assortative mating, or who marries whom? Behavior Genetics, 2, 127–157. doi:10.1007/BF01065686.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Vigil, J. M. (2007). Asymmetries in the friendship preferences and social styles of men and women. Human Nature, 18, 143–161. doi:10.1007/s12110-007-9003-3.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Webster, G. D. (2003). Prosocial behavior in families: Moderators of resource sharing. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 39, 644–652. doi:10.1016/S0022-1031(03)00055-6.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Webster, G. D. (2004). Human kin investment as a function of genetic relatedness and lineage. Evolutionary Psychology, 2, 129–141.

    Google Scholar 

  • Webster, G. D., Bryan, A., Crawford, C. B., McCarthy, L., & Cohen, B. H. (2008). Lineage, sex, and wealth as moderators of kin investment: Evidence from inheritances. Human Nature, 19, 189–210. doi:10.1007/s12110-008-9038-0.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Weinstein, T. R., & Capitanio, J. P. (2012). Longitudinal stability of friendships in rhesus monkeys (Macaca mulatta): Individual- and relationship-level effects. Journal of Comparative Psychology, 126, 97–108. doi:10.1037/a0025607.

    Article  PubMed Central  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Yager, J. (2002). When friendship hurts: How to deal with friends who betray, abandon, or wound you. New York: Simon & Schuster.

    Google Scholar 

  • Zelazniewicz, A. M., & Pawlowski, B. (2011). Female breast size attractiveness for men as a function of sociosexual orientation (restricted vs. unrestricted). Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40, 1129–1135. doi:10.1007/s10508-011-9850-1.

    Article  PubMed Central  PubMed  Google Scholar 

Download references

Author information

Authors and Affiliations

  1. Psychology Department, University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, 255 Hibbard Hall, Eau Claire, WI, 54702, USA

    April Bleske-Rechek

  2. Psychology Department, University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, Eau Claire, WI, USA

    Carolyn M. Kolb

  3. Psychology Department, Ball State University, Muncie, IN, USA

    Katherine Quigley

Authors
  1. April Bleske-Rechek
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

  2. Carolyn M. Kolb
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

  3. Katherine Quigley
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

Corresponding author

Correspondence to April Bleske-Rechek .

Editor information

Editors and Affiliations

  1. Department of Psychology, Oakland University, Rochester, Michigan, USA

    Viviana A. Weekes-Shackelford

  2. Department of Psychology, Oakland University, Rochester, Michigan, USA

    Todd K. Shackelford

Rights and permissions

Reprints and permissions

Copyright information

© 2014 Springer Science+Business Media New York

About this chapter

Cite this chapter

Bleske-Rechek, A., Kolb, C.M., Quigley, K. (2014). Attractiveness and Rivalry in Women’s Same-Sex Friendships. In: Weekes-Shackelford, V., Shackelford, T. (eds) Evolutionary Perspectives on Human Sexual Psychology and Behavior. Evolutionary Psychology. Springer, New York, NY. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4939-0314-6_18

Download citation

Publish with us

Policies and ethics

Search

Navigation