What Not to Do

Abstract

Parents often get caught in their old patterns of handling confrontations, and cut off their adult children before they have had the chance to fully express themselves. The result is that issues don’t get resolved and pent-up feelings do not get discharged. If parents were able to allow their adult children to finish more of what they had to say, the initial feelings could be ventilated, and the deeper emotions and issues could be exposed so that they could be addressed and dealt with openly.

And in the naked light I saw,

Ten thousand people maybe more.

People talking without speaking,

People hearing without listening,

People writing songs that voices never share,

And no one dare disturb the sound of silence.

“Fools!” said I, “You do not know

Silence like a cancer grows.

Hear my words that I might teach you,

Take my arms that I might reach you.”

But my words like silent raindrops fell

And echoed in the wells of silence.

Paul Simon, “The Sounds of Silence”*