Abstract
There are a surprising number of similarities between same-sex couples and their heterosexual counterparts. However, therapists who don’t take into account key differences may make fundamental errors during the course of treatment. Same-sex couples exist in a heterosexist culture which is often very negative towards them. They are also strongly influenced by negative core beliefs or internalized homophobia. Gay men and lesbian women are also strongly shaped by cultural conditioning regarding what it means to be male and female. It is important to understand how conditioned gender roles influence the dynamics in same-sex-couple relationships. This chapter addresses how using RE&CBT with same-sex couples can be an effective way to help them identify and challenge the core beliefs that characterize troubled relationships and provide an effective way for couples to deal with unhelpful aspects of their sex role conditioning. A case study illustrates key points discussed in the chapter.
This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.
Access this chapter
Tax calculation will be finalised at checkout
Purchases are for personal use only
References
Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2007). National survey of mental health and wellbeing: Summary of Results, 2007. ABS catalogue no. 4326.0, Canberra. Available from: www.abs.gov.au. January 5, 2012.
Badgett, M. V. L. (2009). When gay people get married. New York: New York University Press.
Blumstein, P., & Schwartz, P. (1983). American couples: Money, work, sex. New York, NY: William Morrow & Company.
Burch, B. (1986). Psychotherapy and the dynamics of merger in lesbian couples. In T. S. Stein & C. J. Cohen (Eds.), Contemporary perspective on psychotherapy with lesbians and gay men (pp. 57–72). New York: Plenum Medical Book.
Cover, R. (2004). Bodies, movements and desires: Lesbian/gay subjectivity and the stereotype (Continuum). Journal of Media & Cultural Studies, 18(1), 81–97.
D’Auguilli, A. R. (2002). Mental health problems among lesbian, gay, and bisexual youths ages 14 to 21. Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 7, 433–456. doi:10.1177/1359104502007003010.
Eliason, M. (2000). Substance abuse counselor’s attitude regarding lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered clients. Journal of Substance Abuse, 12, 311–328.
Eliason, M. J., & Hughes, T. (2004). Treatment counselor’s attitudes about lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender clients: Urban vs. rural settings. Substance Use & Misuse, 39(4), 625–644. doi:10.1081/JA-120030063.
Exodus International. www.exodusinternational.org. January 5, 2012
Herek, G. M., Gillis, J. R., & Cogan, J. C. (2009). Internalized stigma among sexual minority adults: Insights from a social psychological perspective. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 56(1), 32–43. doi:10.1037/a0014672.
Kashubeck-West, S., Szymanski, D., & Meyer, J. (2008). Internalised heterosexism: Clinical implications and training considerations. The Counseling Psychologist, 36, 615–630. doi:10.1177/0011000007309634.
Kaufman, G., & Raphael, L. (1996). Coming out of shame. New York: Doubleday.
Kitzinger, C., & Coyle, A. (2002). Introducing lesbian and gay psychology. In A. Coyle & C. Kitzinger (Eds.), Lesbian and gay psychology: New perspectives. Oxford: Blackwell Publishers Ltd.
Kort, J. (2008). Gay affirmative therapy for the straight clinician: The essential guide. New York: W.W. Norton & Company.
Kurdek, L. A. (2001). Differences between heterosexual-nonparent couples and gay, lesbian and heterosexual-parent couples. Journal of Family Issues, 22(6), 727–754.
Kurdek, L. A. (2004). Gay men and lesbians: The family context. In M. Coleman & L. H. Ganong (Eds.), Handbook of contemporary families: Considering the past, contemplating the future (pp. 96–105). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Lever, J. (1995). The 1995 Advocate survey of sexuality and relationships: The women. The Lesbian Love Advocate 687–688.
MacDonald, B. (1998). Issues in therapy with gay and lesbian couples. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 24, 165–190.
McHenry, S. S., & Johnson, J. W. (1993). Homophobia in the therapist and gay or lesbian client: Conscious and unconscious collusions in self-hate. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, and Practice, 30(1), 141–151.
Meyer, I. H. (1995). Minority stress and mental health in gay men. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 36(1), 38–56.
Neisen, J. H. (1993). Healing from cultural victimization: Recovery from shame due to heterosexism. Journal of Gay and Lesbian Psychotherapy, 2(1), 49–63.
Nimmons, D. (2002). The soul beneath the skin: The unseen hearts and habits of gay men. New York: St. Martin’s.
Ossana, S. (2000). Relationship and couples counseling. In R. Perez & K. DeBord (Eds.), Handbook of counseling and psychotherapy with lesbian, hay, and bisexual clients (pp. 275–302). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Shively, M. G., & DeCecco, J. P. (1977). Components of sexual identity. Journal of Homosexuality, 3, 41–48.
Telford, L. (2004). Therapy with lesbian couples. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 25(3), 141–147.
Worth, H., Reid, A., & McMillan, K. (2002). Somewhere over the rainbow: Love, trust and monogamy in gay relationships. Journal of Sociology, 38, 237–253. doi:10.1177/1440783021756642.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Corresponding author
Editor information
Editors and Affiliations
Rights and permissions
Copyright information
© 2012 Springer Science+Business Media New York
About this chapter
Cite this chapter
Martin, P. (2012). Counseling Same-Sex Couples: Dispelling Myths and Understanding the Unique Challenges. In: Vernon, A. (eds) Cognitive and Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy with Couples. Springer, New York, NY. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4614-5137-2_9
Download citation
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4614-5137-2_9
Published:
Publisher Name: Springer, New York, NY
Print ISBN: 978-1-4614-5136-5
Online ISBN: 978-1-4614-5137-2
eBook Packages: Behavioral ScienceBehavioral Science and Psychology (R0)