Tears and Grief

Abstract

Weeping alone is painful. Grief is most powerfully eased when it can be shared. We all find it difficult to walk alone in dark places, the forest, the deserted city streets, through the mysteries of death and our unanswered questions. We look for a hand to hold, a shoulder to weep on, another body to cling to — anything that will reassure us that we are not alone, abandoned and helpless in the face of forces we do not understand. Death is the most powerful of these forces.

‘I find myself weeping alone after the service.’

A church minister talking about his feeling that he shouldn’t cry while doing his job of taking a funeral service even when he has known and loved the dead person.

A Zen monk travelling through a village, was told that the head of a family he knew had died. He sat down and wept. The villagers abused him, saying, ‘You should help these people, not sit there weeping’. He answered, ‘How can I help them if I am not able to weep?’