In over forty years of practice, I have never experienced a time resembling the past year. The closest, perhaps, is the traumatic experience shared by patients and therapists after the Twin Towers were felled a few miles (80 blocks) south of my office in New York City on 9/11 (Gensler et al., 2002). The period was the first time I was acutely, unavoidably aware of living within an external reality which stimulated a closely related complex of emotions in me as in my patients. Though this is a personal reflection, discussions with many colleagues cutting across theoretical schools, reflects all of us living in a traumatic here and now, experiencing related feelings.
Although I, over the course of many years as a therapist, have changed dramatically, have had to adapt to the vicissitudes of the place of psychoanalysis in therapeutic practice and intellectual thought, to the unique nature of each therapeutic dyad, my only-one-year-ago self, let alone my 40-year-ago self (even having practiced therapy over the telephone as dictated by circumstances), would hardly recognize my practice over these past year and a half. Together, patient, therapist, and COVID have bent the simple therapeutic frame into odd shapes. While, maintaining both a respect for the frame and the value of flexibility, the current physical parameters of a session have transformed what was once unusual, if not inconceivable, into the daily normal.
In March 2020, I stopped in-person sessions. Discussion with colleagues and patients generated much uncertainty. First was some discussion the risk of contagion, the experience of being “locked down,” confusion about danger, questions about when to shift, to what alternate medium, and many questions about how long it would last. Many thought the lockdown would be temporary, few thought it would be long term or indefinite. Mundane practical concerns were balanced by the various meanings the shift from in-person to virtual contact might have. Awareness that each of the alterations of space have psychic reverberations had to be kept in focus. Basic decisions about the set-up are de novo and thus, not having the imprimatur of tradition, are more mutually negotiated, individual, and revealing. For me, establishing the new setting independently highlights the idiosyncrasies of my conduct of therapy, a new kind of ownership of personal responsibility for decisions and judgements separated from the guidance of collective consciousness and norms of the profession.
As far as I can tell, the general decision in New York to suspend office sessions was tentative. Colleagues “felt their way into” the changes. It unfolded with growing awareness of the danger of the virus; and ultimately the relief of being able to fall back on an official mandated lockdown. The anxiety about tangible change was as great as anxiety about intangible contagion which actually felt less real. As practitioners caught up with the new clinical reality, the clinical implications and psychic meanings of working remotely, including the transferential and the countertransferential, started to emerge.
Obviously, the physical surrounding introduced brand new variables. Where the office was a formal setting, patient and therapist now moved to a virtual setting. In so doing, we entered each other’s spaces even when we didn’t know where the other was physically located. Physical space constitutes a gateway to psychic space, delineating boundaries. Where before the patient came to the therapist, now there is a “meeting in the middle.” Because both patient and therapist participate in new experiences, both of the radical disruptions of everyday life and of the novel setting, the degree to which the therapist shares more personal experience constitutes an entirely new kind of self-revelation and mutuality. Patient and therapist become witness, to a greater and lesser extent, of each other solving problems each has met for the first time. Many patients miss the psychic functions provided by travelling to and from the office and particularly the experience of being in the waiting room. Depending on personal circumstances, some patients must find a space to have the session; they leave home, have the session in a park or parked car. Others worry about privacy or being overheard and even the presence of a spouse or child in the home may evoke fantasies and further reveal features of the relationship to people in the home which might otherwise remain hidden.
One of the shared new experiences is a disruption of the sense of time in life including intervals between sessions. It is frequently observed that during COVID, (the expression “during COVID,” itself expresses a new temporal sense) the concept of time was altered. For many work, social, and recreational markers of time have been erased or altered and some people have the experience of living in a time warp. Months fly by. Patients comment that no time has elapsed since the last session and end sessions by saying, “See you in ten minutes.” The 'meme' blursday came into being. The sense of time passing has as its corollary the sense that nothing much has happened—fewer personal events and fewer new events. The exceptions were events on the public stage, non-personal but nonetheless impactful and these were intense.
The changed setting inevitably has an impact on the therapeutic relationship; it affects the structure and cadence of interaction. The subtle communications for which timing is essential, affects attunement, the mutual regulation of interaction, and the timing of interventions, clarifications, reflections. The chance of misunderstanding can be heightened or surprises can evoke new insights and intimacies. For example, silences on the phone, highlight discreet moments and overall flow, as they do in person, with the interesting existential possibility that occurs when the call has been dropped and there are now multiple meanings of the question “Are you there?” Wrapped up in that question are various dimensions of attachment ranging from longing, to abandonment, and/or loss and also, perhaps a paradoxical intimacy. The latter deriving not only from the sharing of the common experience of life during the pandemic but also as expressed by a patient who uses earbuds and describes experiencing me as being “in his ear.”
The content of sessions undergoes changes that reflect alterations in the structure. Patient and therapist must adapt to new unprecedented situations—from basic decisions, such as obtaining food, to decisions about going to work in person, traveling, socializing, dating, all in unprecedented ways and these become subjects which invite co-participant problem-solving, though neither has had prior experience. So, too, circumstances where direction might be called for are changed by the new setup. For example, risks that are apparent to the therapist need to be actively brought to the patient’s attention. Given the influence of peer behavior, the opportunity and challenge is to create a reflective attitude about the influence of others—friends, neighbors and relatives—on the person’s own risk tolerance and surrender to unwise temptations.
Sessions may be more mundane, but less quotidian activity also increases focus on thoughts and the inner life and potentially the experience of the therapist and therapeutic relationship. Because both patient and therapist share so much in the way of new experiences, adaptations to daily living and deprivations, the degree to which the therapist shares personal experiences constitutes an entirely new kind of self-revelation in which the therapist may not be protected by privileged expertise. Then, shared experience makes awareness of boundaries even more important.
The specific problems brought by COVID are varied. Isolation, claustrophobia, and then agoraphobia become relevant. A priori assumptions about life in COVID are sometimes borne out and sometimes not. Certainly, the anxiety over contagion, loss and grief are prime subjects. Conversely, strains are produced in relationships by enforced closeness to significant others that is not diluted in previous ways, or from the blockades to routes of escape from claustrophobia. For patients whose social world shrinks, their longing for connection may become an issue; for those who live alone, the connection with the therapist and the therapeutic function of just being present may acquire more importance. On the other hand, for some, the enforced isolation brings the comfort of being freed from social demands and they escape into agoraphobia. The therapist, if not careful, can become an unwelcome intrusion. It is then the therapist’s task, using therapeutic tact, to obtain consent to widen the patient’s worlds.
One of the unique features of exploring the effects of this pandemic, is that it inevitably leads to a consideration of the nature of inner and outer reality. One might go so far as to say that the virus is a fractal and its outlines reproduce the contours of reality. It is mysterious, often invisible, sometimes harmless, and its course is unpredictable. Its form is perfect for the spread of misinformation in the service of political or other forms of influence. It produces helplessness. Its existence can be doubted and/or denied by people who have not experienced direct evidence of it even as it is clearly killing others. Should it be acknowledged, then rationalized as just another risk we take as the price of living? Paranoia can attach itself to opposing perceptions of it. What responsibility do people have for others? Must we sacrifice for others at the expense of our businesses or livelihoods; or even at the inconvenience of wearing a mask? Like other personal experiences that come up in treatment, the pandemic can be viewed from many angles and evaded in as many ways, too.
Our COVID-induced therapeutic situation requires us to see therapy differently. Similar to the artistic technique of defamiliarizing, that some may utilize to experience art, we must now view what has been familiar and well known to us in a new light and, thus perceive it afresh: distilled to its essences and now, somehow different.