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Psychological Intimacy in the Lasting Relationships of Heterosexual and Same-Gender Couples

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Abstract

This research focused on the meaning of psychological intimacy to partners in heterosexual and same-gender relationships that have lasted for an average of 30 years. In-depth interviews were used to explore the meaning of intimacy to 216 partners in 108 relationships. The participants were whites, blacks, and Mexican-Americans, with Catholic, Jewish, and Protestant religious backgrounds; they were employed in both blue- and white collar occupations.

Psychological intimacy was defined as the sense that one could be open and honest in talking with a partner about personal thoughts and feelings not usually expressed in other relationships. Factors that had a significant role in shaping the quality of psychological intimacy in the last 5 to 10 years of these relationships (recent years) were the absence of major conflict, a confrontive conflict management style between partners, a sense of fairness about the relationship, and the expression of physical affection between partners. Women in same-gender relationships, compared to their heterosexual and gay counterparts, were more likely to report that psychologically intimate communication characterized their relationships. The findings are important for understanding factors that contribute to psychological intimacy in long-term relationships and how the gender roles of partners may shape the quality of psychological intimacy in heterosexual and same-gender relationships.

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Authors and Affiliations

  1. Boston College, USA

    Richard A. Mackey

  2. Boston College, USA

    Matthew A. Diemer & Bernard A. O'Brien

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  1. Richard A. Mackey
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  2. Matthew A. Diemer
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Mackey, R.A., Diemer, M.A. & O'Brien, B.A. Psychological Intimacy in the Lasting Relationships of Heterosexual and Same-Gender Couples. Sex Roles 43, 201–227 (2000). https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1007028930658

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