Abstract
Women, ages 16–78 (N = 183), described (a) their relationships with their mothers; and (b) the one thing they would most like to say to their mothers. Items were categorized as positive or negative and messages as angry (negative), loving (positive), and sharing (positive). It was hypothesized that adolescents and midlife daughters would have more negative dyadic relationship descriptions and wish to express more anger than would young adults or elders. Investigation of incongruence according to age in relationship descriptions and desired messages were coded. Results supported incongruences for adolescents but not midlife daughters. Overall dyadic descriptions and desired messages were more positive than negative; adolescent and midlife daughters were most angry. Significant findings are reported on motherhood, divorce, widowhood, and single status.
This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.
Similar content being viewed by others
REFERENCES
Barnett, R., & Baruch, G. (1983). Adult daughters' relationships with their mothers. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 45, 601–606.
Bassoff, E. (1988). Mothers and daughters: Loving and letting go. New York: New American Library.
Bernstein, D. (1983). The female superego: A different perspective. International Journal of Psychoanalysis, 64, 187.
Brans, J., & Smith, M. T. (1987). Mother, I have something to tell you: Understanding your child's chosen life style. Garden City, NY: Doubleday.
Chernin, K. (1985). The hungry self (p. 57). New York: Times Books.
Chodorow, N. (1978). The reproduction of mothering: Psychoanalysis and the sociology of gender. Los Angeles: University of California Press.
Collins, G. (1984, September 24). Pains and perils of growing up too fast. New York Times, p. B7.
Debold, E., Wilson, M., & Malave, I. (1993). Mother daughter revolution: From betrayal to power. NY: Addison Wesley.
Dowling, C. (1988). Perfect women: Daughters who love their mothers, but don't love themselves. NY: Simon & Schuster.
Eichenbaum, L., & Orbach, S. (1983). Understanding women. New York: Basic Books.
Fingerman, K. L. (1995). Aging mothers and their adult daughters' perceptions of conflict behaviors. Psychology and Aging, 10, 639–649.
Fingerman, K. L. (1997). Being more than a daughter: Middleaged women's conceptions of their mothers. Psychology of Women and Aging, 9(4), 55–72.
Fischer, L. (1981). Transitions in the mother-daughter relationship. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 43, 613–622.
Fodor, I. B. (1990). On turning 50: No longer young/not yet old. Shifting to a new paradigm. Behavior Therapist, 13(2), 39–44.
Fodor, I. B., & Wolfe, J. L. (1977). Assertiveness training for mothers and daughters. In R. E. Alberti (Ed.), Assertiveness, innovations, applications, issues. San Luis Obispo, CA: Impact Publishers.
Friday, N. (1977). My mother/myself. New York: Delacorte.
Hammer, S. (1976). Daughters and mothers; Mothers and daughters. New York: New American Library.
Henwood, K. L. (1993). Women and later life: The discursive construction of identities within family relationships. Journal of Aging Studies, 7, 303–319.
Johnson, D. (1989). Mothers and daughters: Unexpressed communication needs. Unpublished M.Ed. thesis. School of Education and Professional studies, Central Connecticut State University, New Britain, CT.
Jordan, J. B., & Surrey, J. L. (1986). The self-in-relation: Empathy and the mother-daughter relationships. In. T. Bernay & D. Cantor (Eds.), The psychology of today's woman: New psychoanalytic visions (pp. 81–104). Hillsdale, N. Y.: Analytic Press.
La Sorsa, V. A., & Fodor, I. G. (1990). Adolescent daughter/midlife mother dyad: A new look at separation and self-definition. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 14, 593–606.
Lerner, H. (1980). Internal prohibitions against female anger. American Journal of Psychoanalysis, 40, 137–148.
Lewis, H. B., & Herman, J. L. (1986). Anger in the mother-daughter relationship. In T. Bernay & D. W. Cantor (Eds.), The psychology of today's woman: New Psychoanalytic visions. Hillside, NJ: Erlbaum.
Neugarten, B. (Ed.) (1964). Personality in middle and late life: Empirical studies. New York: Atherton.
Pohl, J. M., Boyd, C., & Given, B. A. (1997). Journal of Women and Aging, 9(1–2), 133–149.
Rubin, L. (1979). Women of a certain age: The midlife search for self. New York: Harper.
Scharlach, A. E. (1987). Role strain in mother-daughter relationships in later life. Gerontologist, 27, 627–631.
Smith, M. O., & Smith-Blackner, D. (1981). The mother-daughter relationship: A dialogue continued. Clinical Social Work Journal, 9(1), 57–68.
Stiver, I. P. (1986). Beyond the Oedipus complex: Mothers and daughters. Work in Progress Papers. Wellesley, MA: The Stone Center, Wellesley College.
Troll, L. (1987). Mother-daughter relationships through the lifespan. Applied Social Psychology Annual, 7, 284–305.
Whisler, S. C., & Eklund, S. J. (1986). Women's ambitions: A three-generational study. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 10, 353–362.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Rights and permissions
About this article
Cite this article
Cotten-Huston, A.L., Johnson, D.V. Brief Report: Daughters and Mothers: Age Differences in Relationship Descriptions and Communicative Desires. Journal of Adult Development 5, 117–123 (1998). https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1023091628306
Issue Date:
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1023091628306