Skip to main content
Log in

Sexual Betrayal Among Late Adolescents: Perspectives of the Perpetrator and the Aggrieved

  • Published:
Journal of Youth and Adolescence Aims and scope Submit manuscript

Abstract

The present study investigates the occurrence and experience of sexual betrayal in adolescents and young adults from the perspectives of both the perpetrator and the aggrieved. Subjects (N = 216) who had been in monogamous relationships were asked whether they had ever cheated on their partner (by petting or having sexual relations with another) and whether their partner had ever cheated on them. Subjects also reported their motives and reactions and the consequences associated with these betrayals. Approximately two-thirds of the sample had experienced betrayal, as the perpetrator, the aggrieved, or both. Perpetrators typically know their betrayal partners and are motivated by sexual attraction, the regular partner's absence, and the influence of drugs or alcohol. Although 42% of betrayals are not discovered by the aggrieved, the majority of those that are discovered result from confessions by the perpetrator. As expected, those who are betrayed generally react with anger or sadness. Perpetrators often feel guilty, but also report a number of positive emotions, suggesting that betrayal may play an important role as adolescents struggle to establish their identities. Gender differences were absent in the incidence, motives, and experience of sexual betrayal. Results are interpreted in terms of competing demands of intimacy and identity formation.

This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.

Access this article

Price excludes VAT (USA)
Tax calculation will be finalised during checkout.

Instant access to the full article PDF.

Similar content being viewed by others

REFERENCES

  • Berndt, T., and Perry, T. (1990). Distinctive features and effects of early adolescent friendships. In Montemayor, R., Adams, G., and Gullota, T. (eds.), Advances in Adolescence Research (Vol. 2). Sage, Beverly Hills, CA, pp. 269–287.

    Google Scholar 

  • Blumstein, P., and Schwartz, P. (1983). American Couples. Morrow, New York.

    Google Scholar 

  • Buss, D. (1995). Psychological sex differences: Origins through sexual selection. Am. Psychol. 50: 164–168.

    PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Buunk, B. (1980). Extramarital sex in the Netherlands: Motivation in social and marital context. Altern. Lifestyles 3: 11–39.

    Google Scholar 

  • Buunk, B. (1987). Conditions that promote breakups as a consequence of extra dyadic involvements. J. Soc. Clin. Psychol. 5: 271–285.

    Google Scholar 

  • Buunk, B. (1995). Sex, self-esteem, dependency, and extradyadic sexual experience as related to jealousy response. J. Soc. Pers. Relat. 12: 147–153.

    Google Scholar 

  • DeBurgher, J. E. (1972). Sex in troubled marriages. Sex. Behav. 2: 23–62.

    Google Scholar 

  • Dyk, P., and Adams, G. (1987). The association between identity development and intimacy during adolescence: A theoretical treatise. J. Adolesc. Res. 2: 223–235.

    Google Scholar 

  • Erikson, E. (1968). Childhood and Society (2nd Ed.). Norton, New York.

    Google Scholar 

  • Erlbaum, P. L. (1982). The dynamics, implications, and treatment of extramarital sexual relationships for the family therapist. J. Marit. Fam. Therapy 7: 489–495.

    Google Scholar 

  • Feldman, S. S., and Cauffman, E. (1999, in press). Your cheatin' heart: Sexual betrayal attitudes and behaviors and their correlates. J. Res. Adolesc. 9.

  • Glass, S. P., and Wright, T. L. (1992). Justifications for extramarital relationships: The association between attitudes, behaviors, and gender. J. Sex Res. 29: 361–387.

    Google Scholar 

  • Greely, A. M. (1991). Faithful Attraction: Discovering Intimacy, Love and Fidelity in American Marriage. Doherty, New York.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hansen, G. L. (1987). Extra dyadic reactions during courtship. J. Sex Res. 23: 382–390.

    Google Scholar 

  • Johnston, L. D., O'Malley, P. M., and Bachman, J. G. (1993). National Survey Results on Drug Use from Monitoring the Future Study, 1975–1992. Volume 1. Secondary School Students. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (National Institute on Drug Abuse Publ. No. 93–3597). U.S. Government Printing Office, Washington, DC.

    Google Scholar 

  • Katchadourian, H. (1990). Sexuality. In Feldman, S. S., and G. R. (eds.), At the Threshold: The Developing Adolescent. Harvard University Press, Cambridge, MA, pp. 330–351.

    Google Scholar 

  • Kitzinger, C., and Powell, D. (1995). Engendering infidelity: Existentialist and social constructionist readings of a story completion task. Fem. Psychol. 5: 345–372.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lawson, A. and Samson, C. (1988). Age, gender and adultery. Br. J. Sociol. 39: 409–440.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lieberman, B. (1988). Extrapremarital intercourse: Attitudes toward neglected sexual behavior. J. Sex Res. 24: 296–298.

    Google Scholar 

  • Mongeau, P., Hale, J., and Alles, M. (1994). An experimental investigation of accounts and attributions following sexual infidelity. Commun. Monogr. 61: 326–344.

    Google Scholar 

  • Moore, S., and Rosenthal, D. A. (1993). Sexuality in Adolescence. Routledge, New York.

    Google Scholar 

  • Roscoe, B., Cavanaugh, L., and Kennedy, D. (1988). Dating infidelity: Behaviors, reasons, and consequences. Adolescence 23: 35–43.

    PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Seal, D. W., Agostinelli, G., and Hannett, C. (1994). Extradyadic romantic involvement: Moderating of sociosexuality and gender. Sex Roles. 31: 1–22.

    Google Scholar 

  • Sheppard, V., Nelson, E., and Andreoli-Mathie, V. (1995). Dating relationships and infidelity: Attitudes and behavior. J. Sex Marit. Therapy 21: 202–212.

    Google Scholar 

  • Sponaugle, G. C. (1989). Attitudes towards extramarital relations. In McKenney, K., and Sprecher, S. (eds.), Human Sexuality: The Societal and Interpersonal Context. Ablex, Norwood, NJ, pp. 187–209.

    Google Scholar 

  • Sprecher, S., and McKinney, K. (1993). Sexuality. Sage, Newbury Park, CA.

    Google Scholar 

  • Sullivan, H. S. (1953). Conceptions of Modern Psychiatry. Norton, New York.

    Google Scholar 

  • Thompson, A. P. (1983). Extramarital sex: A review of research literature. J. Sex Res. 19: 1–22.

    Google Scholar 

  • Thompson, A. P. (1984). Emotional and sexual components of extramarital relations. J. Marr. Fam. 46: 35–42.

    Google Scholar 

  • Townsend, J. M., and Levy, G. D. (1990). Effect of potential partner's costume and physical attractiveness on sexuality and partner selection. J. Psychol. 127: 371–389.

    Google Scholar 

  • Weis, D. L. and Slosnerick, M. (1981). Attitudes toward sexual and nonsexual extramarital involvement among a sample of college students. J. Marri. Fam. 43: 349–358.

    Google Scholar 

  • Wiederman, M. W., and Allgeier, E. R. (1993). Gender differences in sexual jealousy: Adaptionist as social learning explanation. Ethnol. Sociobiol. 14: 115–140.

    Google Scholar 

  • Wiggins, J. D., and Lederer, D. A. (1984). Differential antecedents of infidelity in marriage. Am. Ment. Health Couns. Assoc. J. 6: 152–161.

    Google Scholar 

Download references

Author information

Authors and Affiliations

Authors

Rights and permissions

Reprints and permissions

About this article

Cite this article

Feldman, S.S., Cauffman, E. Sexual Betrayal Among Late Adolescents: Perspectives of the Perpetrator and the Aggrieved. Journal of Youth and Adolescence 28, 235–258 (1999). https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1021605532205

Download citation

  • Issue Date:

  • DOI: https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1021605532205

Keywords

Navigation