A Play in Two Acts

Setting: Capitol Building, January 6, 2021

Act One: More than Just a Spot of Bother

Scene One: A Conversation in Whiteness

Narrator: What you are about to experience is a Theater of the Absurd production and Juvenalian/satirical send-up of one hallmark episode in the entangled crises infecting our democracy—racism, sexism, misogyny, misology, xenophobia, transphobia, anti-Semitism, toxic masculinity, patriarchy, class exploitation, white supremacy—all wrapped in QAnon manure. And while the imaginary conversation you are about to read been two Proud Boy wannabees may be a parody, a Weird Al Yankovic attempt to yank your political chain or, more mildly put, to ruffle your QAnon feathers, the monstrous militia madness that fuels such vulgar sentiments is all too real. This play is a depiction of the white supremacist, capitalist, patriarchal id. If you have watched some of the platforms on social media that I have in order to research this play, you will know what I am talking about. The Day They Brought Ol’ Liberty Down is an attempt to imagine through the vehicle of satire and parody and dark humor how, during one horrific day of treasonous jocksniffery, these forces of hate could have played out when they coagulated around a call to arms by the fascist leader of the United States, whom I have often described as the most dangerous man in history. How far off the mark you think I am is for you, the reader, to judge. One response to the hydra-headed riot that has left a saber slash across the cheekbones of American democracy—wisely suggested by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez—calls for media literacy in our schools. That’s a sage suggestion but before we embark on that journey, it's important that we confront the monster we all have, in one way or another, unleashed. Some would say that we don’t need satire to achieve that end, just play the tapes of the insurrection and let the images speak for themselves, and they would have a point. But not everything that is thought is said. It requires the power of the imagination to bring that to light, as ugly as that might prove to be. And the power of humor to prevent our descent into madness. On January 6, we faced a day of fascist insurrection where people tragically lost their lives. Some Americans are okay with that, even referring to that day of infamy as ‘festive’. That, for me, is the greater tragedy.

Disclaimer: The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased, with the exception of well-known politicians or historical figures), places, buildings (except the Capitol building), and products is intended or should be inferred. No person or entity associated with this play received payment or anything of value, or entered into any agreement, in connection with the depiction of tobacco products that get you high. Goober and Billy are not real persons, but are creations of the author, composites of people the author has engaged over the past four years during heated coffee shop conversations, street protests, online attacks, or by researching conversations held in chat rooms. This satire was written in the days immediately following the riot at the Capitol building and later revised after Trump’s impeachment. The opinions and ideologies reflected by the characters are not shared by the author. 

Setting: Inside the Capital Building, January 6, 2021

Hey Goober, glad you made it you old devil, you! I saw you outside but wasn’t sure you got in.

Yeah, Billy, thanks to one of the cops who winked at me and squeezed me in through the side door. I think he must be a Three Percenter. Sic Semper Tyrannis brother!

Oh cool.

You see what they did to that cop outside? Dragged him down the steps and beat the crap out of him. Hit him with a Trump flag, too.

Sorry I must have missed that act of patriotism. But I did see somebody bounce a fire extinguisher off the head of some cop. Womp! Womp! That was a Mel Gibson and his hatchet moment.

Good thing the fire extinguisher was empty I heard. If anybody gets hurt, we can always blame it on Antifa even though they are nowhere to be found. Those suckers fall for our traps all the time, it’s so easy to bait them into confrontations with us. Hey did you catch the speech by Senator Amanda Chase? She calls herself Trump in Heels! She’s pretty hot you know with that gun strapped to her leg.

I think you mean Lauren Boebert. Or Margorie Taylor Greene maybe.

Yeah, right, Boebert, that's who I mean. I know how I’d like to spend time with her in my truck! Know what I mean? She’s the Cara Dune of the Republican Party. Hey, you ever see Gina Carano’s Instagram posts? Full on!

Yeah, and I’d like to show her my gun collection, too. Bet she goes for the Kentucky long rifle! Know what I mean? Haha. Too bad she lost to Cyborg in her last pro fight. The fight was obviously rigged.

That Marjorie Taylor Greene gal is way more ballsy than Boebert. She has exactly what it takes for the GOP to get off its ass. See the way she called that David 'False Flag' Hogg a little Hitler?

That little paid actor guy from the Stoneman Douglas High School? Sheeeet! Yeah, that Greene gal is spunky. She’s the Alex Jones of the GOP.

Hope they don’t persecute her the way they did Jones. Go for it Alex!

They always try to silence America’s truthsayers, you should know that. Thank you Rudy and Rush for exposing the Deep State to all of America. Hey check out the VDare Lion over there! That’s a great symbol for Trump 2024.

I prefer the Totenkopf. Or the Doppelte Siegrune. Trump is still the president, don’t give up yet. We still have March 4. Hey, check out Greene’s Facebook page. She’s got more balls than Clinton, Obama and Biden put together. I’m with her on Hogg. Don’t poke that bear you snowflakes or you’ll regret it! Hey, how tall do you think Hogg is?

About the same as Tom Cruise, I would think. Hey, do you even think that high school even exists? If they can fake the moon landing, which they did, they can fake a high school. I heard somewhere, I think it was from Greene, something about Hillary Clinton and her aide raping and then murdering a young girl. She 'filleted' the girl’s face off, then they took turns wearing the girl’s face as a mask, you know, to get her blood flooded with adrenochrome. Then they gulped down the blood as homage to Satan. Damn perverts!

Pervomania, dude, pervomania is what it is with the Dumb-o-crats. It’s captured on video!  Its on the Frazzledrip video! Lyn Wood will make sure Hillary is arrested within the week. But I did hear that adrenochrome gives you one hell of a trip. Whoo—eee, brother! I heard some stories I can’t repeat in respectable company from a guy I know who runs The Ludus, a gladiator boot camp, who knew Greene years back, that she liked guys who dress up like Zangief from Street Fighter II.

Anyway, I missed Boebert. But I did hear Giuliani speak.

America’s Mayor, bro! Did you see him in that scene in Borat 2? Do you think the little blonde girl drained his lizard after the camera cut away?

That’s what I’m hearing. That’s one lucky dude. Pays off when you’re famous, buddy. Just like Trump told Billy Bush. Love that Hollywood Access tape! Giuliani told us to make this election steal a trial by combat! He didn’t mince his words, I can tell you that. That’s one eloquent SOB!

Yeah, he’s quite an orator. Best orator since Honest Abe, who was a Republican, by the way. Giuliani’s got the gift of the gab! Put him up against that nerd Chris Wallace any day!

He’d destroy MLK in a debate!

Not even close. And what a presence. Geraldo comes pretty close. But Giuliani can’t be beat. When you see that look of confidence on his face and hear that voice, you know that he’s got what it takes to go up against those transgender cucks at CNN. Only one problem, though, his teeth look fake. Got to admit that. Does he still have that hair dye problem?

I couldn’t tell from where I was standing. But yeah, he’s got fake CNN teeth. Like that robot Anderson Cooper.

The gay announcer who eats babies?

Same dude. A Plejaren, you know, a Nordic alien, a tall white. Maybe one of the shorter tall whites. But I did recognize the guy in the hat who was standing next to Giuliani and cheering him on. John Eastman. You know, the professor at that radical university in California.

Yeah, the lawyer who always goes to bat for Trump. Eastman is cool. He’s the one that proved Kamala Harris can’t be Vice President, because she’s the daughter of immigrants.

Damn right she is and damn those immigrants! Those mollusks are an invasive species, like Rush says. Tucker says immigrants make our country 'poorer, dirtier and more divided'. We’ve imported the goddam third world! They're gonna take over the country one day and white folks like us will be in for some serious pain. They’re already bringing disease. They’re going to want revenge. It’s an attack on Western civilization! It’s an attack on Christmas, the Boy Scouts and deer hunting and White Castle sliders!  The only person preventing the movie The Purge becoming a reality against white folks is Trump. It's already been proved that Obama was born in Africa. We all know that! But try telling that to the Obamatards! Good luck with that!

And he’s a secret Muslim, too.

Damn right he is, bro. Didn’t you see that picture of him in a turban?

Saw that. He was riding in a tank with Bin Laden. Rush called him Imam Hussein Obama. Prayers out to Rush that he recovers!

Props to Eastman, too, because I hear that Chapman University is a radical left campus. Hear that their faculty mostly resemble Silurians when they shape shift. Didn’t you hear, bro, they have a statue in full view of that Brazilian guy who says rich people oppress the poor. The daughter of a friend of mine took a teacher education class and she was forced by some low energy libtard to read the crap written by that guy. They have some professors there that teach something called - now brace yourself - critical pedagogy. Pedagogy of the oppressed they call it. No wonder this generation is turning into a bunch of molly coddling milksops!

Nobody is oppressed in this country except white folks like us! And what the hell does pedagogy mean? Sounds like usual hate America stuff that Hawley warned us about. What I don’t get is why they would have a statue of some foreigner on an American campus! While they are removing statues of tried and true patriots from the Confederacy! I defy anyone to name a greater patriot than Nathan Bedford Forrest! Look around you, you communist traitors, this is the US of A! Where’s the statue of Trump? I say we make a golden statue of Trump! Place it right beside the Arc of the Covenant in the Vatican! Besides, I’d give anything to be rich. I bet that Brazilian guy was just jealous!

Hey, that’s California don’t forget. Land of fruits and nuts! And don’t forget who controls the movie industry. Duh! Same folks who control the space laser that started all those crazy wildfires on the west coast. You know, the Jewish space laser. Hey, cool Office Depot pen set you got there under your arm, bro. Love your Oath Keepers hat, too!

Yeah, got the pen set from Pelosi’s office. I bet the fake leather fools a lot of folks. We’ve built a gallows all ready for her just outside. Hey Tumblrina, this is your ‘trigger warning’: We’re coming to get you! And AOC and the rest of The Squad, we’ll put you all in cages where you belong!

So AOC, you want Antifa to punch cops, Omar you want to eradicate Israel, and Tlaib, you want to keep your Hezbollah friends in your pockets? Well, Margorie Taylor Greene is onto you! And her AR-15 is always at the ready! Hey you see that Trump Punisher logo on that guy over there? Make Law Enforcement Great Again! I think he’s NYPD.

Well, they can learn a lot from Baltimore. No mercy for those Soho tree-hugger types! Give them all a Freddie Gray screen test. Pack all of them in the van and give them a nickel ride. Cut the seatbelts and watch them tumble. My way or the highway. Did you see that video of AOC in college doing that rooftop dance?

Yeah, see the way she moves? Disgusting. She was probably drunk or on angel dust when she did that. And to think those libtards blame Brett Kavanaugh for having a beer. Come on! Let’s go get the Squad. It’s no time for skylarking. Send them back to whatever countries they come from! Can’t wait to watch them swing. We’ll start with them and then string up all the other elite cucks and purple-haired blue-pillers who rigged the election with the help of MK Ultra.

We won by millions of votes. Millions! But the globalist Dumb-o-crats who purposefully infected Trump with Covid went ballot harvesting and were trying to take down our economy by imposing world government. That’s something you can’t dispute. If you do, you’re nothing but a traitor that needs to be thrown into prison with the libtards.

Yeah they tried to bring Trump down by inflating the numbers of Covid fatalities. Rush reported that the so-called overrunning of hospitals was all staged.

Of course they staged it! Duh! Just look at the fake causes listed on the death certificates.

And if the Covid fiasco doesn’t work, the Dems are trying to start a race war. What could be more anti-American than Black Lives Matter! When the looting starts, the shooting starts!

Trump got that one right!

White lives matter, too! All lives matter! Don’t they get it? The woke libtards call us deplorables but we’re just ordinary regular apple pie and church going, second amendment guys—we’re tried and true Americans, just get to know us and you’ll love us. We love to eat at Dennys and Marie Callender. We love buffalo wings. Come and join us. Get to know us. We’ll introduce you to the latest in firearms training and survival strategies. We’ll show you how to read our encrypted messages. We’ll organize mask-burning parties for your kids. Join our little league hate camps.

Tired about all this talk about structural racism—some academic elitist term, sounds like. You remember little Bobby Gilford? Well, he was a friend of mine all the way through high school. And they call us racists! What nerve!

Yeah my dad once had a Black friend in college who was on the track team. I’m tired of being called a racist. I’m just sticking up for the white race!

Secession! That’s where we are headed. I’m with Rush! We’re fighting the new Lexington and Concord, and we’re starting right here, right now!

America First! Protect our white European heritage!

If anyone is oppressed, it’s white folks like us. Hey, who you think is going to be president in 2028? Don Jr. or Ivanka?

That’s a no-brainer. Ivanka will still be hot in 2028. Are you kidding me? Even president Trump said he’d date her if she wasn’t his daughter. He said it on Howard Stern’s show. I’m tired of old weather-beaten looking presidents (well, except for our dear leader). I’d go for some eye candy any day. As long as our second amendment rights are protected. But one day for sure Barron Trump will be president, you can count on that. Information coming out his mother was Princess Di.

What?

Melania is just a cover. Diana’s death was faked. She’s now been transformed into Melania. Melania never existed. Have you ever seen her birth certificate? Melania is really Diana with a Slovenian accent. Just compare the features of a young Princess Diana with Barron. They are one and the same gene pool. You can do almost anything today with plastic surgery and shaving the vocal chords.

Yeah, my aunt went under the knife once for hemorrhoids. Too much gin will do that to you. But I’m gonna have to sit that one out. It’s too much of a stretch for me. But I guess with God all things are possible. If Trump confirms that one day, okay. Otherwise... Hey, you take a wet sticky dump in the foyer? You should see the one I left! Hurt my legs squatting for that one but it was worth it. Must have been half my Olive Garden dinner from a couple of nights ago. You can still see some undigested pasta. Hey, can you believe I was sitting just across the aisle from Sean Hannity? He loves eating at the Olive Garden.

I stayed away from that stairwell, too much stink. Think maybe Hannity is watching us now on TV with President Trump? Hey, wait, didn’t the president say he would be protesting with us?

I think he’ll be here soon, bro, don’t sweat it. He’s a man of his word. Just enjoy beating up a few cops.

Except for the ones who let us in the door, they’re with us. I have some selfies with them I just put up on Facebook. Hey, will you slow down for a minute bro. Take my photo beside this statue or nobody will believe I made it inside. Yeah, quick, okay, I don’t want to miss any of the action. Hey, I’ve got an autograph by Kyle Rittenhouse here in my wallet I picked up from a guy I met at a gun meet who, by the way, gave me a deal on an .380 ACP and a flash suppressor. How much you think I could get for it here with the MAGA crowd?

If it’s authenticated—lots! Yeah, but not as much as Timothy McVeigh or Dylann Roof. Hey, my sister has a crush on Rittenhouse. Thinks he’s kinda cute. I hear some of the Proud Boys are going to execute some RINOS. Pence will be first. Today we start a new war. The Trump war! Hey, I’m looking to get a snubby through a private party transfer. Can you give me some names?

Maybe Rob Minuta? He’s the Oath Keeper that’s doing security for Roger Stone. But let’s try to find Pence first. I say we torture him first. One day I’ll tell you what I did at Abu Ghraib, bro. I had a whole tool kit to work with. Haaaa. Never got caught, either.

Lucky you. Oh, and thank you for your service to our country, brother. Hey, apart from selling out Trump, think Pence is part of the global elite pedophile ring?

I’m not sure bro, but one thing I am sure about is that Bill Gates is the mastermind behind Covid-19. It’s part of his plan to depopulate the world.

I heard he’s on trial in India for creating a tetanus vaccine that will make you sterile. Hey, forget the masks, bro. They will just make you more vulnerable to the virus. I’m all for herd immunity anyway, cull the sick and elderly, all the useless eaters! And Pence, that mask-wearing traitor is part of the reptiloid Illuminati for sure. Along with Tom Hanks.

Hey, we’re ready for them Illuminoids. Those shape-shifting reptiloid Saurians from the Alpha Draconis star system hiding in our underground nuclear bases. And we know Biden has cut them a deal. We are ready for you freaks from outer space. Trump has cryogenically frozen sperms and eggs from the Wehrmacht hidden in craters on the moon—and from his family. We’ve got bear spray, we’ve got flash bangs, we’ve got radios and earpieces, we’ve got lawyers and politicians and ex-military here and more important bro, we’ve got God!

And even more important than that, we’ve got Trump!

Right on, dude! Trump Über Alles! Hail Trump! Hail our leader!

Arise! Arise! The time will come when the world is mine! Tomorrow belongs to me! Don’t let those woke libtards tell you we’re a bunch of ignorant rednecks, deplorables or white trash! We’ve got Harvard law degrees behind us. We’ve got Princeton degrees behind us! We’ve got Yale degrees behind us! We’ve got major Hollywood stars like John Voigt and James Woods in our camp!

Don’t forget Scott Baio!

Right. So don’t call us ignorant fools! Hell, I’m doing a Masters right now. Actually, I had to put that on hold. But anyway. Hey buddy, think Pence worships Satan along with the pedophile Dumb-o-crats?

Wouldn’t surprise me, that two-faced traitor! Bet he turns into one of those reptiles after dark after feeding on adrenochrome that they harvest from the blood of pure Aryan children!

I think the reptile bit maybe is going too far, bro. But I do think he’s part of a globalist conspiracy all set to go up against Trump in 2024.

I heard that, too. He’s working in secret with Angela Merkel and Justin Trudeau. You hear that Merkel is Hitler’s granddaughter? Trudeau is the grandson of Fidel Castro, I mean that’s a proven fact.

Yeah, I also heard from my QAnon group that George Soros is funding everything. He pulls all the strings at the United Nations—those globalist bastards. Some say he's over 200 years old. And some even say he’s over two thousand years old and was one of the original Christ killers!

Now that seems a bit far-fetched to me.

Hey, but Q tells us to keep an open mind. It’s always good to challenge our most engrained assumptions.

Yeah, that’s what my pastor tells me all the time. He recently got a theology degree. I was going to try to get one at the same place but they closed down the space where they held classes right next to the Piggly Wiggly and across from the Shake Shack. Think it’s now a Chuck E. Cheese. Do you really think Jews steal and murder Christian children to drain their blood for Passover matzoh?

When in doubt, listen to your pastor. Hey, don’t ever knock Shake Shack. Best burgers on the planet. Can’t fathom why our leader prefers Big Macs. But hey, Q is definitely a prophet, bro. He sends us the breadcrumbs and our bakers take it from there. My cousin thinks that John F. Kennedy Jr. is posting on 8chan as Q.

Kennedy faked his death, for sure. But my guess is that it’s Michael Flynn. If not, he’s definitely a white hat.

Hey, don’t those armchairs look like thrones?

Yeah, furniture for the elite. We’re gonna finish draining the swamp tonight, bro. Burn all the trash, including all books critical of Trump! And critical pedagoggle, or whatever you call it. Ok, let’s get on with preventing the election certification!  That’s why we’re here!

Let's do it! Hey see the guy wearing the shirt that says, Camp Auschwitz, ‘work brings freedom’? Yeah, the guy with the long beard. He looks pretty scary, dude. Looks a lot like a Viking. You can’t get more Aryan than that. I like that look. Lots of National Socialist Club members here, too. Sieg Heil brother! You’ll never catch them wearing a mask! Hey, you hear that some K-pop Asian bands are wearing Nazi outfits-even a girl band?

Copycats! Everything cool that they do they steal from us—from white culture! You hear what Tomi Lahren said about Biden? 'Might as well carry a purse with that mask, Joe!'

Hey, now that is some babe! Tomi, Tomi, I love you baby! She’s just about perfect. Hitler would have definitely put her in the breeding program for the master race! Hey, I’d line up for hours to make a Nordic baby with that babe! That’s our patriotic duty. Our white race is dying out. Our demographic winter they call it.

You’re too short buddy, sorry. Face it, bro. And I know you’re covering up a bald spot with that dumb ass beanie. Lose the beanie, that’s my advice, and shave your head. And stop using elitist democrat language like ‘demographic’.

Yeah, well it’s a good thing the National Socialists are here. Saw their patches. You can always count on them to man up! This group is from the Silver Legion at Fort Bragg. These bastards have no fear of death. And if any one of them happens to be taken down in a firefight their spirits automatically go to Asgard in Valhalla where they can drink mead all day and have sex all night long.

'We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children'! Fourteen of the most important words ever written!

Mein Kampf. Fourteen is our sacred number bro. Got that number tattooed on my shoulder, bro. Remember when Tucker Carlson said 'We have every right to fight to preserve our nation and our heritage and our culture'. Sixteen most important words ever spoken. Got that number tattooed on my other shoulder. 'Can’t cuck the Tuck', as Mr. Duke so eloquently put it. I read once that Ivana Trump told her divorce lawyer that our sacred leader kept a book of Hitler’s speeches by his bed.

I heard that too.  But I have never seen films of Hitler or Mussolini pucker their lips like Trump. That’s all Trump. He’s an original. Wait a second, isn’t that guy over there on his cell phone a politician or something? I think I recognize him. Let’s go get a selfie!

Let’s not bother him, he’s probably fundraising for Ted Cruz or that Hawley guy.

This place is a rat’s maze. How the hell we going to find our way to Adam Schiff’s office?

Don’t sweat it. Some of our new members of Congress slipped us a map. Just follow the crowd. They know where the enemy is hiding. Too bad we can’t take out Dr. Fauci while we’re at it!

Wrong building, bro. But we’ll take him out eventually.

Hey, you must have heard about the pharmacist who attempted to destroy 500 doses of Moderna’s Covid vaccines?

Damn, yes! That guy deserves the Medal of Freedom, man. Yeah, you betcha! That stuff is going to change people’s DNA, to reverse the evolutionary process. Turn us all into damn Neanderthals.

My buddy who has a car dealership in Silicon Valley is a real science freak and…

Hey wait, science isn’t real!!! Remember, Rush Limbaugh warned us about the four corners of deceit in the United States—academia, the media, government and science. The only decent academic to come out of the ivory tower was William Pierce. He was a physics professor who helped to design rockets. What about Kevin McDonald at Cal State Long Beach? My late uncle, a lifetime John Bircher, once took a course from him. Made him proud to be part of the most evolved race on the planet.

Yeah, two of my heroes. Only a genius like Pierce could write The Turner Diaries. A must-read. Long live Earl Turner and his kind! No, no, this guy I’m talking about uses science to debunk science.

Oh, okay, then it’s okay.

Well, you ever hear about nanotechnology?

Yeah, sounds familiar. I have a neighbor whose a flat-earther and uses words like that all the time.

Yeah, well, they got these tiny machines inserted into the vaccine that turns you into a transexual.

So you mean that it makes you politically correct?

Yeah, that’s right. It makes you go through puberty all over again. You’ll become a whining libtard and expect free handouts. And what could be worse than that? You trying to ‘microvalidate’ my white fragility bro? Hahaha.

Right on. Haven’t they heard: Freedom isn’t free. The only free cheese is in the mousetrap. Hahaha. Yeah, that political correctness stuff comes from right out of the cultural Marxist playbook. Straight out of the mouth of that commie Karl Marx! That’s why you’ve got these welfare queens in New York City who don’t work and just have babies and drive Cadillacs.

Right, Karl Marx, I’ve heard of him. He invented political correctness. So I hear anyway. Father of integration. He has a son, I think, who just released a new album called Limitless.

I’m sure it’s not on an NSM88 label.

For sure, bro. No digital hatecore there. I’m Iron Eagle all the way!

But right, same guy I think. Wasn’t Karl Marx in cahoots with Hugo Chavez and the CEO of Dominion voting machines to flip Trump votes over into the Biden column?

That’s what’s live streaming through the Klanverse bro. I’m sure of it. They were seen working together just before the election.

No way my daughter is going to share a bathroom with a man! No damn way! Hey isn’t that Baked Alaska over there?

That’s him—I recognize his camo. Stylish guy that he is.

I think Trump should give the Medal of Freedom to all of us in this rotunda. He won’t find more loyal supporters than us! Hell, we’re ready to bring on Civil War! Look at all these loyal white MAGA faces! May we rise again! Rebirth of a nation baby! The Great Cleansing will begin, starting today! Watch out for us, baby. We won’t be wearing our white sheets, this time. Steve Bannon is putting together the Academy for the Judeo-Christian West at a 13th century monastery in Trisulti, Italy, to train white supremacists like us. Let’s sign up and save our race and religion!

I hear you. White Power, baby! They want to commit genocide on the Anglo-American race. Well, come and get us, baby! You’ll be eating my MR-15! Like our great leader told the treasonous Pence: 'You can either go down in history as a patriot, or you can go down in history as a pussy.'

Or you can grab ‘em!

You betcha! All the time, baby! Follow our Leader!

Didn’t Trump give the Medal of Freedom to Devin Nunes?

You mean the guy who sued his own cow back on his farm in Fresno?

Yeah, same guy.  Rumor has it he has Rh negative blood and is one of the children of the Nephilim, you know, part of a race of fallen angels mentioned in Genesis that still walks among us. He has an extra vertebrae bro. He hides it pretty good. 

Yeah, he sued his cow. Somehow his cow sensed Devin was different. Hey, your face looks all flushed, bro.

Yeah, I’m starting to feel like the southern rebels who demolished this place in 1814 musta felt. ‘Get out your torches and gunpowder paste and burn it all down!’.

Hey man, I think that was the British army who did that.

Oh, yeah, you’re right about that. They did have some pretty cool uniforms, though.

They did. But their red coats made them easy targets.

Yeah, and when they saw the confederate flag waving in the breeze, it scared the shit out of them.

Hey bro, a minor correction there. Our Dixie flag was the Civil War and them redcoats was the War of Independence.

Yeah, bro, gotcha. A minor error. No need to show off, okay? What are you, some kind of history freak? You sucking up to those sissy eggheads? I was just kidding anyway.

Hey, isn’t that guy over there by the bust of Lincoln carrying a Confederate Flag?

He is. Long live the Confederacy! Hail Trump!

But you’re from New England, right?

Right. Boston. Cambridge, exactly, down the road from geeky Harvard. Before I moved to Charlottesville in August, 2017.  You still live in Jersey City?

Hoboken. Atomwaffen. We got a guy here with us who worked as a security contractor at Naval Weapons Station Earle in Jersey and still holds a secret-level security clearance. He’s an army reservist. He’s with the guys just ahead of us that are handing out free copies of The Turner Diaries.  Ask him to show you photos on his cell phone of him wearing a Hitler moustache. You’ll like him. He’s a fun guy. Hey, you think those desks are made out of real mahogany?  Bro, you listening to me?

Sorry bro, I’m livestreaming. Gotta protect the cause. I’m telling my followers that antifa and left-wing militants are in here doing most of the property damage. Just in case we need some backup. No way I’m taking the fall for this.

Hell no! Let’s blame it on Antifa. But don’t worry. Cruz and Hawley will have our backs!

Do you really think Cruz’s dad killed Kennedy?

If the president said so, it’s probably true. Who knows? Important thing is that he’s Trump’s squire now. Carries his shield.

And his jockstrap! Calling all true Christians, it’s Boogaloo time baby! Ain’t no safe spaces here. The Storm has started! Let’s go kick some ass! I spotted some cops running up the stairs with their tails between their legs. Come on! Remember the words of Thomas Jefferson: The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is natural manure!

Didn’t Jefferson have a bunch of children with that Sally Hemings slave? She musta been quite a looker.

Damn right he did. He’d sneak around at night and get his rocks off. Jefferson had a bunch of slaves. I hear he had about 600 of them all told.

The libtards say he was against slavery. Boy, did he fool the do-gooders! He was just a smart businessman like our president was all. He made a fortune with them slaves. Where do you think George Washington got his fake teeth? So go tell those pansy friends of yours that if they aren’t prepared to join the cause then they can go join the snowflake libtards! And don’t forget Mitt Romney. He’s part Mexican. Has a bunch of wives there, so I hear.

Kill a commie for Trump! Better dead than red! My pastor preaches that Trump is the Chosen One. And my pastor only communicates the Word of God. He speaks in tongues, bro, after all. You ever hear Paula White speak in tongues? My older cousin thinks it's plain gibberish shoehorned by the Devil into your brainpan but I trust my pastor on this. If you can’t trust your pastor, who can you trust? He’s a good friend of Jerry Falwell Jr.

The threesome guy?

Lucky dude.

Hey, Trump gave us Amy Coney Barrett, don’t forget. And if she doesn’t make abortion illegal, who will?

All those who vote pro-choice should be executed, that’s my opinion. Barrett will bring us back to family values—like in the Handmaid’s Tale. No more worrying that your wife makes more money than you do.  And to all you non-binary mutant snowflakes out there: No more turning Mr. Potato Head into a gender neutral toy designed to turn future Rambos into RuPauls. You got that Sports Illustrated? Walk like a man means walk like a man!

Once they start working outside of the nest, it’s only a matter of time before they’ll start looking around, know what I mean?

Yeah, they start visiting Planned Parenthood offices to hide their infidelity. I’m tired that men have to live on their knees nowadays. We used to rule the roost. Then things came apart. We can thank the hippies for that. I say we bring back the old Nazi Organizations like the Band of German Maidens and the Faith and Beauty Society—proper training to be wife, mother, homemaker.

Yeah but the hippies did give us sandals and tie-dies. Hey bro, looks like you are doing your Aryan homework. I’m studying Nordic runes with my uncle myself. He helped with the stage design for the upcoming conservative political action conference in Orlando using the Othala rune symbol worn by units of the Waffen-SS. Can’t wait to see Trump speaking on that stage!  Wonder if the fake media will pick that up. What we need is a white ethnostate where men rule. My buddy is buying property in the Upper Peninsula in Michigan, planning a compound. He’s part of the Wolverine Watchmen, you know, who tried to kidnap governor witless Gretchen Witmer, and execute her. They’re going to be setting up hate camps and training for the race war. I’m thinking of joining them. The White House is shut down and has been replaced by a movie set.  Biden is working with scientists to design ways to create snowstorms and other disasters in places like Texas.

Yeah, I heard they’ve already moved Biden and his administration to a film studio located in one of our space stations. In the end, it all comes down to a battle between good and evil. Don't you want to get raptured? I don’t want to be on an airplane when the pilots suddenly disappear. But I wouldn’t mind being in Fort Knox when the security guards disappear!  Hahaha. A Catholic buddy of mine told me that there is nothing we can do about the coronavirus plague since it is God’s punishment for the Vatican ceremony where the pagan goddess Pachamama was worshiped!  It’s all the Pope’s fault. And China’s fault. Like President Trump said—it’s the Kung Flu!  It’s the China Virus! Well, this is the moment of truth! Ask your buddies which side they’re on! You can’t defeat evil by slapping the Dumb-o-crats on their wrists. Speaking of wrist slapping, I saw one of our doomsday prepper patriots near the speaker's podium carrying a handful of zip ties. Let’s go do a patriot's arrest and get on with it!

A passerby interjects on a bullhorn: The Great Reset is underway! The Illuminati Eye sees all! If we don’t protect Trump, the elites will force us to dine on bugs, weeds and sewage while they feast on steak! They will come for us, our children, our families! They are using the pandemic as an excuse to push us further from the American Dream that is our sacred birthright! God has anointed us for this day—we only serve HIM, and we are merely HIS vehicles chosen to cast out the Satanic forces that have aligned themselves against our savior Trump. Rip out your Covid-19 microchips! Crush those who would slaughter the innocents! Destroy those who are threatening our way of life with false narratives like George Floyd! George Floyd was an Antifa false flag. Trump will replace your fried grubs with T-bone steaks! Er, well, at the very least with warmed over cheeseburgers. Our prophet Kat Kerr warns us of the hellscape that awaits us when The Squad opens the floodgates to the communist hordes. Going to be a huge slobber knocker! Praise be! Praise be! Heaven is celebrating Trump’s election win! All of heaven is cheering for Trump and counting the days when we can get rid of the scum who are destroying our American way of life. Biden has made a contract with the devil. A great victory will happen today! Trump will be seated for four more years! Don’t believe the lying frying news! Stand in the light or run to the darkness!

Hey Gomer, I like this guy with the bullhorn! Sorry, I mean Goober—I was thinking of my favorite show, Gomer Pyle, for a moment. Kat Kerr rocks. Ever since listening to her sermons I’ve had no fear of death, and haven’t had a night time panic attack since. She’s visited Heaven hundreds of times. She has confirmed that God is this giant white guy with a moustache. That makes a hell of a lot of sense to me. I’m more comfortable knowing that. I always suspected that, anyway, but always figured he’d have a Viking style beard. But a moustache is okay. I can live with that. Kat reports that Jesus is a biker with a great tattoo sleeve who drives a Harley. Now that I never expected. I figured he would probably like Harleys but would have preferred a Triumph Street Triple R. Oh and God and Jesus love to play golf together and can’t wait to play with Trump. John Wayne is still making westerns up there in the great beyond. Always did love The Duke. Kids will love Heaven’s chocolate milk waterfall more than Niagara Falls. So you Canucks can go kiss my ass. There has got to be some hockey rink reserved for you guys. And the rainbow surrounding God’s throne is made of jello. Imagine that. That never would have come to mind but how can you argue with Kat Kerr, God’s Revelator. Angels can slide up and down on the rainbow and eat it at the same time. I guess that’s a good way to multi-task. Kids enjoy flying around on giant dragonflies the most. So looks like more time for mommy and daddy to find some peace and quiet. No Black Lives Matter protesters to deal with. You can draw your guns on them all you like and you won’t get charged like that couple in St. Louis. Hell, forget the AR-15s and semi-automatic pistols. In heaven you’ll be able to train one of the Wehrmacht’s 88mm’s at them point blank all you like. All praise to our prophet Kat Kerr!

Imagine the damage that we could do, who---eeee! Do you think God will let us wear Waffen-SS uniforms? That’s my idea of Trump heaven dude! Don’t know Kat Kerr but I’ll look her up once my little cousin returns my computer, I think he might be turning into a perv. Maybe Dr. Phil can help with that. Hey, there’s the guy with the horns! Hooah! Hooah! Four more years! Praise be to the god Kek! Follow the guy in the Viking hat! Follow the QAnon shaman! Liberate the country! Betsy Ross eat your heart out, release the Kraken flag! The U.S. Boojahideen have arrived! USA! USA! USA! Blood and Soil! Blood and Soil! America, love it or leave it! Kill them all, let God sort them out!

Next stop--the Vatican! Hooah!  Hooah!  Trump is our sun symbol! All praise to Moscow,  the Third Rome!  Bring back summer solstice festivals! Make the Vatican Great Again! Can you believe we are in the Capitol building!  Looks like our prayer group channeling the spirits of Guido von List and Madame Blavatsky has been paying off. It’s time to bring back the Thule Society! Bring back the Odal rune! Bring back the Swastika!  Free Constantinople! Create the new Byzantium!

Take a good look USA. We may not be as good looking as Matt Gaetz or Richard Spencer or dress as snappy, or have babes on our arms that look like Ginger Luckey or Kimberly Guifoyle, but damn, we’re the new soul of the Republican Party! We don’t have the dance moves of Sean Spicer or a grasp of history like Newt Gingrich—America’s greatest historian. One of us is going bald—that’s you Goober, stop trying to hide it with your beanie. And one of us has a gut—I’m a Coors guy, I’ll admit to that, but currently on the wagon. But hell, we’re here in the Capitol raising havoc. Cry ‘havoc’ and let slip the gods of war, as George Washington cried out when he crossed the Mississippi!  Or was it the Delaware? That’s got to be worth something to make God proud! This is our Saratoga moment! You have a right to your opinion but not to the facts! We are the new Continental Army! So if what transpired on this battlefield today doesn’t get us some respect and an interview with Fox News, I don’t know what will. Tucker, are you listening? We were following our Commander-and-Chief to the end of time! Hell, we’re white! We made this country great and it’s time we take it back and get what we deserve. Ma, if you are listening, I hope that today makes up for setting the tool shed on fire when I was twelve. In the words of that Braveheart William Wallace, F-R-E-E-D-O-M!!! Free to own the libs! Free to reject climate change! Free to reject science! Free to reject fake news! Free to say Merry Christmas again!  Free Mr. Potato Head!  Free Free Dr. Seuss! Free Pepé Le Pew! Free us from the cultural Marxists! Drain the swamp! POYB! POYB! Block certification!  Stop the steal! Proud Boys, stand back and stand by!  Yes Sir Mr. President!

Damn right!

Save our children!

We are the army of truth!

Where we go one, we go all!


Stage Instruction: The curtains open with Bikers for Trump still riding around the stage. Suddenly a dozen Black Lives Matter protesters appear from the wings of the stage and shoo the bikers away. The protesters stand defiantly on stage. One of the protesters begins to speak.

End of Act One

Act Two: The Aftermath


Black Lives Matter Protester: Since Donald Trump, the GOP has been slowly transformed into the American Nazi Party. The Nazis were responsible for the mass slaughter of Jews on an industrial scale. Nazi Germany was seeped in conspiracy theories, where the Big Lie was left to worm its way into the brainpan of the average German citizen.  The Trump administration was similarly focused on the Big Lie which demonized Jews, immigrants, Muslims, Mexicans and refugees and Black Lives Matter supporters. He is out of office but his followers are legion. Since Gingrich and the Tea Party, Bannon and Breitbart, it has steadily sought legitimacy in its conversations with evangelical organizations, and tried to sanitize its image by its association with ‘respectable’ individuals and groups. Some of those individuals have thankfully been jumping ship. Those left on board should be seen for what they are—white nationalists, fascists, Nazi sympathizers and white supremacists acting under cover of the very democracy they are attempting to destroy. Trump and his administration are responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths as a result of their mishandling of the pandemic, taking an ethically untenable position of herd immunity without adequate vaccinations.


       It may seem unthinkable that a reactionary manifestation of neofascist politics, followed by vigilante violence, could occur in the United States. When it comes in all its fury it will likely be at the regional or local level. For those who are reluctant to concede this possibility, recall the overthrow of Reconstruction in the 1870s. Think back to Jim Crow following Reconstruction and the modern Jim Crow of the school-to-prison-pipeline. Think of Southern voter suppression and segregation that occurred right up to the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and current efforts in states such as Georgia.   Remember the struggles of the Little Rock Nine. Recall the attacks on the Wobblies—the Industrial Workers of the World—by the federal government and citizens functioning as vigilantes during the First World War and the imprisonment of Eugene Debs. Remember, too, the Red Scare and the McCarthy years. Remember Governor George Wallace’s 1972 campaign for segregation. It is time for the audience to intervene. Please take the stage. If you are carrying weapons, leave them at your seats. The task for Act Two is to fathom how to create a social universe not governed by the Big Lie, a world not hijacked by racism, antisemitism, white supremacy and Trumpism, a place not ravaged by the inhumanity of austerity capitalism—in short, a civilization far away from the world described in Act One. Please take the stage. We need participants now, not spectators.  Share your stories and let the movement begin. The curtains may not be closed for another century but it is important that the play continue. The ushers will be handing out copies of the works of Paulo Freire, Hannah Arendt, bell hooks,  Frantz Fanon, George Orwell, Malcolm X, James Baldwin, Karl Marx and others authors. You are free to take them home.


Stage Instruction: ‘The Internationale’ begins to play. The audience is invited to sing as the lyrics appear on a screen.


Arise ye pris’ners of starvation

Arise ye wretched of the earth

For justice thunders condemnation

A better world’s in birth!

No more tradition’s chains shall bind us

Arise, ye slaves, no more in thrall;

The earth shall rise on new foundations

We have been naught we shall be all…