Abstract
Past studies have shown that individuals with higher avoidant attachments have satisfying relationships with romantic partners when they outperform their partners. However, these findings have not been examined in other cultural contexts or other intimate relationships (e.g., relationships with best friends). In this study, we investigated whether the relation between avoidance attachment and individuals’ psychological closeness with their romantic partners and best friends would be moderated by social comparison. Sixty-eight Chinese youths in romantic relationships and 120 Chinese youths in close friendships participated in the study. Participants were asked to complete a series of self-report questionnaires regarding avoidance attachment and psychological closeness and to recall experiences about social comparisons in their close relations with romantic partners or best friends using an open-ended form. Results suggested that compared to those lower in avoidance, individuals higher in avoidance had less closeness with their romantic partners after social comparisons. Moreover, these highly avoidant individuals tended to have less closeness with their romantic patterns after an upward comparison than a downward comparison. However, unlike in romantic relationships, highly avoidantly attached participants were not significantly different from those less in avoidance in the closeness with their best friends following social comparisons. Furthermore, although both individuals who are higher and lower in avoidance experienced changes in their closeness with best friends following upward and downward comparisons, these changes were not significant.
Similar content being viewed by others
References
Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the strange situation. Erlbaum.
Al-Zahrani, S. S. A., & Kaplowitz, S. A. (1993). Attributional biases in individualistic and collectivistic cultures: A comparison of Americans with Saudis. Social Psychology Quarterly, 56(3), 223–233.
Barry, C. M., Madsen, S. D., Nelson, L. J., Carroll, J. S., & Badger, S. (2009). Friendship and romantic relationship qualities in emerging adulthood: Differential associations with identity development and achieved adulthood criteria. Journal of Adult Development, 16(4), 209–222.
Bartholomew, K., & Horowitz, L. M. (1991). Attachment styles among young adults: A test of a four-category model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61(2), 226–244.
Brennan, K. A., Clark, C. L., & Shaver, P. R. (1998). Self-report measurement of adult attachment: An integrative overview. In J. A. Simpson & W. S. Rholes (Eds.), Attachment theory and close relationships (pp. 46–76). The Guilford Press.
Brislin, R. W. (1970). Back-translation for cross-cultural research. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 1(3), 185–216.
Chan, K., & Prendergast, G. P. (2008). Social comparison, imitation of celebrity models and materialism among Chinese youth. International Journal of Advertising, 27(5), 799–826.
Collins, W. A., & Laursen, B. (2004). Parent-adolescent relationships and influences. In R. M. Lerner & L. Steinberg (Eds.), Handbook of adolescent psychology (pp. 331–361). Wiley.
Davila, J., Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (1999). Attachment change processes in the early years of marriage. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76(5), 783–802.
Doyle, A. B., Lawford, H., & Markiewicz, D. (2009). Attachment style with mother, father, best friend, and romantic partner during adolescence. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 19(4), 690–714.
Endo, Y. (2007). Optimistic and pessimistic biases and comparative judgmental processes in Japan: Do people really compare themselves to their peers? Asian Journal of Social Psychology, 10(4), 224–232.
Fraley, R. C., & Davis, K. E. (1997). Attachment formation and transfer in young adults’ close friendships and romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 4(2), 131–144.
Friedman, M., Rholes, W. S., Simpson, J., Bond, M., Diaz-Loving, R., & Chan, C. (2010). Attachment avoidance and the cultural fit hypothesis: A cross-cultural investigation. Personal Relationships, 17(1), 107–126.
Furman, W., & Buhrmester, D. (1985). Children’s perceptions of the qualities of sibling relationships. Child Development, 56(2), 448–461.
Furman, W., & Wehner, E. A. (1994). Romantic views: Toward a theory of adolescent romantic relationships. In R. Montemayor, G. R. Adams, & T. P. Gullotta (Eds.), Personal relationships during adolescence (pp. 168–195). Sage Publications, Inc.
Gabriel, S., Carvallo, M., Dean, K. K., Tippin, B., & Renaud, J. (2005). How I see me depends on how I see we: The role of attachment style in social comparison. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31(11), 1561–1572.
Gabriel, S., Carvallo, M., Jaremka, L. M., & Tippin, B. (2008). A friend is a present you give to your “self”: Avoidance of intimacy moderates the effects of friends on self-liking. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 44(2), 330–343.
Gerber, J. P., Wheeler, L., & Suls, J. (2018). A social comparison theory Meta-analysis 60+years on. Psychological Bulletin, 144(2), 177–197.
Girme, Y. U., Agnew, C. R., VanderDrift, L. E., Harvey, S. M., Rholes, W. S., & Simpson, J. A. (2018). The ebbs and flows of attachment: Within-person variation in attachment undermine secure individuals’ relationship wellbeing across time. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 114(3), 397–421.
Goodwin, R., & Tang, C. S.-k. (1996). Chinese personal relationships. In M. H. Bond (Ed.), The handbook of Chinese psychology (pp. 294–308). Oxford University Press.
Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511–524.
Hazan, C., & Zeifman, D. (1994). Sex and the psychological tether. In K. Bartholomew & D. Perlman (Eds.), Attachment processes in adulthood (pp. 151–178). Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Hofstede, G. (2001). Cultural consequences. Sage.
Kondrak, C. L., Seery, M. D., Gabriel, S., & Lupien, S. P. (2017). What’s good for me depends on what I see in you: Intimacy avoidance and resources derived from close others. Self and Identity, 16(5), 557–579.
La Guardia, J. G., Ryan, R. M., Couchman, C. E., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Within-person variation in security of attachment: A self-determination theory perspective on attachment, need fulfillment, and well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 79(3), 367–384.
Li, Z. H., Connolly, J., Jiang, D., Pepler, D., & Craig, W. (2010). Adolescent romantic relationships in China and Canada: A cross-national comparison. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 34(2), 113–120.
Liu, T., Fuller, J., Hutton, A., & Grant, J. (2020). Congruity and divergence in perceptions of adolescent romantic experience between Chinese parents and adolescents. Journal of Adolescent Research, 35(4), 546–576.
Lockwood, P., Dolderman, D., Sadler, P., & Gerchak, E. (2004). Feeling better about doing worse: Social comparisons within romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87(1), 80–95.
Margolese, S. K., Markiewicz, D., & Doyle, A. B. (2005). Attachment to parents, best friend, and romantic partner: Predicting different pathways to depression in adolescence. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 34(6), 637–650.
Markiewicz, D., Lawford, H., Doyle, A. B., & Haggart, N. (2006). Developmental differences in adolescents’ and young adults’ use of mothers, fathers, best friends, and romantic partners to fulfill attachment needs. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 35(1), 121–134.
Markus, H. R., & Kitayama, S. (1991). Culture and the self: Implications for cognition, emotion, and motivation. Psychological Review, 98(2), 224–253.
McFarland, C., Buehler, R., & MacKay, L. (2001). Affective responses to social comparisons with extremely close others. Social Cognition, 19(5), 547–586.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. Guilford Press.
Mohr, J., Cook-Lyon, R., & Kolchakian, M. R. (2010). Love imagined: Working models of future romantic attachment in emerging adults. Personal Relationships, 17(3), 457–473.
Murray, S. L., Rose, P., Holmes, J. G., Derrick, J., Podchaski, E. J., Bellavia, G., & Griffin, D. W. (2005). Putting the partner within reach: A dyadic perspective on felt security in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88(2), 327–347.
Nicholls, E., & Stukas, A. A. (2011). Narcissism and the self-evaluation maintenance model: Effects of social comparison threats on relationship closeness. The Journal of Social Psychology, 151(2), 201–212.
Pinkus, R. T., Lockwood, P., Marshall, T. C., & Yoon, H. M. (2012). Responses to comparisons in romantic relationships: Empathy, shared fate, and contrast. Personal Relationships, 19(1), 182–201.
Pinkus, R. T., Lockwood, P., Schimmack, U., & Fournier, M. A. (2008). For better and for worse: Everyday social comparisons between romantic partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(5), 1180–1201.
Scinta, A., & Gable, S. L. (2005). Performance comparisons and attachment: An investigation of competitive responses in close relationships. Personal Relationships, 12(3), 357–372.
Sibley, C. G., & Overall, N. C. (2008). Modeling the hierarchical structure of attachment representations: A test of domain differentiation. Personality and Individual Differences, 44(1), 238–249.
Simpson, J. A. (1990). Influence of attachment styles on romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59(5), 971–980.
Suls, J., Martin, R., & Wheeler, L. (2002). Social comparison: Why, with whom, and with what effect? Current Directions in Psychological Science, 11(5), 159–163.
Taylor, S. E., & Lobel, M. (1989). Social comparison activity under threat: Downward evaluation and upward contacts. Psychological Review, 96(4), 569–575.
Tesser, A. (1988). Toward a self-evaluation maintenance model of social behavior. In L. Berkowitz (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology (Vol. 21, pp. 181–227). Academic Press.
Thai, S., Lockwood, P., Pinkus, R. T., & Chen, S. Y. (2016). Being better than you is better for us: Attachment avoidance and social comparisons within romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 33(4), 493–514.
Titus, S. L. (1980). A function of friendship: Social comparisons as a frame of reference for marriage. Human Relations, 33(6), 409–431.
Tonggui, L., & Kazuo, K. (2006). Measuring adult attachment: Chinese adaptation of the ECR scale. Acta Psychologica Sinica, 38(3), 399–406.
Weiss, R. S. (1974). The provisions of social relationships. In Z. Rubin (Ed.), Doing unto others (pp. 17–26). Prentice-Hall.
Wood, J. V., Taylor, S. E., & Lichtman, R. R. (1985). Social comparison in adjustment to breast cancer. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 49(5), 1169–1183.
Yum, J. O. (1988). The impact of Confucianism on interpersonal relationships and communication patterns in East Asia. Communications Monographs, 55(4), 374–388.
Zhang, X., Li, T., & Zhou, X. (2008). Brain responses to facial expressions by adults with different attachment-orientations. Neuroreport, 19(4), 437–441.
Funding
This study was funded by University of Macau (grant number MYRG2019–00081-FED).
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Corresponding author
Ethics declarations
Conflict of Interest
The authors declare that they have no conflict of interest.
Additional information
Publisher’s Note
Springer Nature remains neutral with regard to jurisdictional claims in published maps and institutional affiliations.
Rights and permissions
About this article
Cite this article
Chen, WW., Wang, Z., Yu, H. et al. Better me, better us: social comparison, Chinese avoidant attachment, and closeness. Curr Psychol 42, 9963–9971 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-021-02271-9
Accepted:
Published:
Issue Date:
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-021-02271-9