Skip to main content
Log in

“I think a woman can take it”: Widowed men’s views and experiences of gender differences in bereavement

  • Published:
Ageing International Aims and scope Submit manuscript

Abstract

Do the views and experiences of older widowed men regarding widowhood agree, and can they be explained in terms of notions of masculinity? Older widowed men were asked whether they believed men or women coped better. They were also asked about their own experiences. The paper discusses the similarities and differences between the views and experiences of these widowed men within a framework of masculinity. Men believe that women are better equipped to deal with widowhood. They explain this in terms of women’s domestic abilities and social skills, and men’s inability to talk about their emotions. These views can be understood in terms of masculinity. However, analysis of their experiences suggests that the picture is more complex. Men were found to be as socially engaged as women. Men showed a range of domestic abilities: some were keen cooks and houseproud, while others relied on ready meals and family support. Women believed that men received more support than they did; this was confirmed. Unexpectedly, men reported more depressive experiences than women. It is argued that the experiences of widowed men may be understood in a masculinity framework, if one incorporates notions of diversity and social change.

This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.

Access this article

Price excludes VAT (USA)
Tax calculation will be finalised during checkout.

Instant access to the full article PDF.

Similar content being viewed by others

References

  • Bennett, K. M. (1998). Longitudinal changes in mental and physical health among elderly, recently widowed men. Mortality, 3(3), 265–273.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Bennett, K. M. “Was Life Worth Living?” The decision to live following male spousal bereavement. (Submitted).

  • Bennett, K. M., & Vidal-Hall, S. (2000). Narratives of death: A qualitative study of widowhood in women in later life. Ageing and Society, 20(4), 413–428.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Bennett, K., & Morgan, K. (1993). Ageing, gender, and the organisation of physical activities. In S. Arber & M. Evandrou (Eds.), Ageing, independence, and the life course (pp. 78–90). London: Jessica Kingsley.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bowling, A., & Windsor, J. (1995). Death after widow(er)hood: An analysis of mortality rates up to 13 years after bereavement. Omega, 31(1), 35–49.

    Google Scholar 

  • Brannon, R. (1976). The male sex role — and what it’s done for us lately. In R. Brannon & D. Davids (Eds.), The forty-nine percent majority (pp. 1–40). Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley.

    Google Scholar 

  • Courtney, W. H. (2000). Constructions of masculinity and their influence on men’s well-being: A theory of gender and health. Social Science and Medicine, 50(10), 1385–1401.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Davidson, K. (2001). Late-life widowhood, selfishness, and new partnership choices: A gendered perspective. Ageing and Society, 21, 297–317.

    Google Scholar 

  • Farberow, N. L., Gallagher-Thompson, D., Gilewski, M., & Thompson, L. (1992). The role of social supports in the bereavement process of surviving spouses of suicide and natural deaths. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behaviours, 22(1), 107–124.

    Google Scholar 

  • Gaskell, E. (1848). Mary Barton: A tale of Manchester life. Now published in Harmondsworth by Penguin (1994).

  • Grundy, E. (1996). Population review: (5) The population aged 60 and over, Population Trends, 84, 14–20. HMSO.

    Google Scholar 

  • Harrison, J., Chin, J., & Ficarrotto, T. (1995). Warning: Masculinity may be dangerous to your health. In M. S. Kimmel & M. A. Messner (Eds.), Men’s lives (3rd ed., pp. 237–249). Boston: Allyn and Bacon.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hayslip, B., Allen, S. E., & McCoy-Roberts, L. (2001). The role of gender in a three-year longitudinal study of bereavement: A test of the experienced competence model. In D. A. Lund (Ed.), Men coping with grief. Amityville, NY: Baywood Publishing.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hearn, J. (1995). Imaging the aging of men. In M. Featherstone & A. Wernick (Eds.), Images of aging: Cultural representations of later life (pp. 97–115). London: Routledge.

    Google Scholar 

  • Kimmel, M. S. (1994). Masculinity as homophobia: Fear, shame, and silence in the construction of gender identity. In H. Brod & M. Kaufman (Eds.), Theorizing masculinities (pp. 119–141). Thousand Oaks: Sage.

    Google Scholar 

  • Kraus, A. S., & Lilienfeld, A. M. (1959). Some epidemiological aspects of the high mortality in the young widowed group. Journal of Chronic Diseases, 10, 207–217.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Lund, D. A., & Caserta, M. S. (2001). When the unexpected happens: Husbands coping with the death of their wives. In D. A. Lund (Ed.), Men coping with grief. Amityville, NY: Baywood Publishing Co.

    Google Scholar 

  • Moore, A. J., & Stratton, D.C. (2001). Resilient widowers: Older men speak for themselves. New York: Springer Publishing.

    Google Scholar 

  • Moore, A. J. & Stratton D. C. (2004). The current woman in an older widower’s life. In G. Fennell & K. Davidson (Eds.), Intimacy in later life. New York: Transaction Publishers.

    Google Scholar 

  • Moynihan, C. (1998). Theories of masculinity. British Medical Journal, 317, 1072–1975.

    Google Scholar 

  • Murphy, E. (1982). Social origins of depression in old age. British Journal of Psychiatry, 141, 135–142.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Newson, J., & Newson, E. (1986). Family and sex roles in middle childhood. In D. J. Hargreaves & A. M. Colley (Eds.), The psychology of sex roles (pp. 142–158). London: Harper and Row.

    Google Scholar 

  • Office of Population Censuses and Surveys. (1999). Marriage, divorce, and adoption statistics. London: HMSO.

    Google Scholar 

  • Parkes, C. M. (1972). Bereavement: Studies of grief in later life (3rd ed.). London: Tavistock.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pickard, S. (1994). Life after a death: The experience of bereavement in South Wales. Ageing and Society, 14, 191–217.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Pringle, K. (1995). Men, masculinities, and social welfare. London: UCL Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Stroebe, M. S., & Stroebe, W. (1983). Who suffers more? Sex differences in health risks of widowhood. Psychological Bulletin, 93(2), 279–301.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Stroebe, M., Stroebe, W., & Schut, H. (2001). Gender differences in adjustment to bereavement: An empirical and theoretical review. Review of General Psychology, 5(1), 62–83.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Thuen, F., Reime, M. H., & Skrautvoll, K. (1997). The effect of widowhood on psychological well-being and social support in the oldest groups of the elderly. Journal of Mental Health, 6(3), 265–274.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Tudiver, F., Permaul-Woods, J. A., Hilditch, J., Harmina, J., & Saini, S. (1995). Do widowers use the health care system differently? Canadian Family Physician, 41, 392–400.

    Google Scholar 

  • Umberson, D., Wortman, C. B., & Kessler, R. C. (1992). Widowhood and depression: Explaining long-term gender differences in vulnerability. Journal of Health and Social Behaviour, 33, 10–24.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Van den Hoonaard, D. K. (2002). Attitudes of older widows and widowers in New Brunswick, Canada towards new partnerships. Ageing International, 27(4), 79–92.

    Article  Google Scholar 

Download references

Author information

Authors and Affiliations

Authors

Corresponding author

Correspondence to Kate M. Bennett.

Additional information

Her research interests include ageing, gender, marital status, and psychological well-being.

Her research interests include ageing, gender, marital status, and nutrition.

His research interests include cognitive aspects of ageing, memory, and widowhood.

This research study was supported by the Economic and Social Research Council (Award No. L480254034) and is part of the Growing Older Programme of 24 projects studying the quality of life of older people. However, the findings reported here are entirely the responsibility of the researchers.

Rights and permissions

Reprints and permissions

About this article

Cite this article

Bennett, K.M., Hughes, G.M. & Smith, P.T. “I think a woman can take it”: Widowed men’s views and experiences of gender differences in bereavement. Ageing Int. 28, 408–424 (2003). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12126-003-1012-x

Download citation

  • Issue Date:

  • DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s12126-003-1012-x

Keywords

Navigation