We all knew he would die by the end of the night:
he started the night with the final cocktail –
phenylephrine, vasopressin,
dobutamine, epinephrine,
which clamped
his vessels; we watched
the waves
recess and slow, until
five a.m. and
flatline.
My first death exam alone August of intern year, I read
bullet points
of what to do
before I opened the sliding door to his room.
We all knew he was gone. But I called his name
observed his chest wall
listened to his silent heart
pinched his nailbeds.
I shone a light into his right pupil and
Deep
Wide
Dark
Vast
Dead – were those eyes, but
in the hollow black canvas there is
a dance going on
unclamped
from the parameters of life
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Lee, K. Death Exam. J GEN INTERN MED (2024). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11606-024-08766-y
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DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s11606-024-08766-y