It’s like getting ready for a first date

only different

Then I chose high heels

hoping for a sexy sway

Now I put on sensible shoes

to appear a person of substance

who deserves to live

Then I researched football

and other sports I knew boys liked

so I’d seem smart

but not as smart as they were

Now I research metastasis

to show my doctor I know something

but not as much as he does

Then I applied liner and mascara

drawing bedroom eyes

Now I put on lipstick

to prove I care about myself,

so the doctor should care about me too

Then I wanted to be liked

Now I want to be saved

Then I pleaded

Choose me, choose me!

Choose me to be your girlfriend!

Now it is the same

Choose me to be the patient you love

the one you linger on for a moment

before plunging needle

into bone

Maybe it’s not so different after all

It’s all about yearning for something

just beyond reach