Abstract
This study examined parents’ rules concerning their late adolescents’ dating activities. Participants were mostly European-American, including 165 mothers or fathers and 103 of their children (ages 17–19; 28 sons and 75 daughters). Parents provided information regarding their use of dating rules; rules were coded by type (i.e., supervision, restriction, or prescription) and by the degree of control the rule set provided. Most parents (64%) reported using dating rules, and rules varied by the adolescents and parents’ gender. Rule types were related differentially to qualities of parents and adolescents’ relationships, such that supervision rules reflected a healthy parent–child dynamic and prescription rules related negatively to qualities of parents’ romantic/marital relationships. This study contributes to a growing body of research on parents’ management of adolescents’ peer relationships by expanding the focus from friendships to romantic partnerships.
Similar content being viewed by others
References
Barber, B. K. (1996). Parental psychological control: Revisiting a neglected construct. Child Development, 67, 3296–3319.
Barber, B. K. (2002). Intrusive parenting: How psychological control affects children and adolescents. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Barber, B. L., & Eccles, J. S. (2003). The joy of romance: Healthy adolescent relationships as an educational agenda. In P. Florsheim (Ed.), Adolescent romantic relations and sexual behavior (pp. 355–370). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.
Bates, A. (1941). Parental roles in courtship. Social Forces, 20, 483–486.
Berscheid, E., Snyder, M., & Omoto, A. M. (1989). The relationship closeness inventory: Assessing the closeness of interpersonal relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 57, 792–807.
Block, J. H. (1983). Differential premises arising from differential socialization of the sexes: Some conjectures. Child Development, 54, 1335–1354.
Bloss, P. (1967). The adolescent passage: Developmental issues. New York, NY: International University Press.
Brown, B. B., Bakken, J. P., Nguyen, J., & Von Bank, H. G. (2007). Sharing information about peer relations: Parent and adolescent opinions and behaviors in Hmong and African American families. New Directions for Child & Adolescent Development, 116, 67–82.
Brown, B. B., & Mounts, N. S. (2007). The cultural context of family-peer linkages in adolescence. New Directions for Child & Adolescent Development, 116, 1–15.
Carver, K., Joyner, K., & Udry, J. R. (2003). National estimates of adolescent romantic relationships. In P. Florsheim (Ed.), Adolescent romantic relations and sexual behavior (pp. 23–56). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.
Crouter, A. C., Bumpus, M. F., Davis, K. D., & McHale, S. M. (2005). How do parents learn about adolescents’ experiences? Implications for parental knowledge and adolescent risky behavior. Child Development, 76, 869–882.
Cui, M., & Conger, R. D. (2008). Parenting behavior as a mediator and moderator of the association between marital problems and adolescent maladjustment. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 18, 261–284.
Darling, N., & Steinberg, L. (1993). Parenting style as context: An integrative model. Psychological Bulletin, 113, 487–496.
Donnellan, M. B., Larsen-Rife, D., & Conger, R. D. (2005). Personality, family history, and competence in early adult romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88, 562–576.
Driscoll, R., Davis, K. E., & Lipetz, M. E. (1972). Parental interference and romantic love: The Romeo and Juliet effect. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 24, 1–10.
Furman, W., & Buhrmester, D. (1985). Children’s perceptions of the personal relationships in their social networks. Developmental Psychology, 21, 1016–1024.
Furman, W., & Buhrmester, D. (1992). Age and sex differences in perceptions of networks of personal relationships. Child Development, 63, 103–115.
Gray, M. R., & Steinberg, L. (1999). Adolescent romance and the parent–child relationship: A contextual perspective. In W. Furman, B. B. Brown, & C. Feiring (Eds.), The development of romantic relationships in adolescence (pp. 235–262). New York: Cambridge University Press.
Hayes, L., Hudson, A., & Matthews, J. (2003). Parental monitoring: A process model of parent–adolescent interaction. Behaviour Change, 20, 13–24.
Hayes, L., Hudson, A., & Matthews, J. (2004). Parental monitoring behaviors: A model of rules, supervision, and conflict. Behavior Therapy, 35, 587–604.
Hendrick, S. (1988). A generic measure of relationship satisfaction. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 50, 93–98.
Hock, E., Eberly, M., Bartle-Haring, S., Ellwanger, P., & Widaman, K. F. (2001). Separation anxiety in parents of adolescents: Theoretical significance and scale development. Child Development, 72, 284–298.
Kan, M. L., McHale, S. M., & Crouter, A. C. (2008). Parental involvement in adolescent romantic relationships: Patterns and correlates. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 37, 168–179.
Karney, B. R., Beckett, M. K., Collins, R. L., & Shaw, R. (2007). Adolescent romantic relationships as precursors of healthy adult marriages. Arlington, VA: Rand Corporation.
Kerr, M., & Stattin, H. (2000). What parents know, how they know it, and several forms of adolescent adjustment: Further support for a reinterpretation of monitoring. Developmental Psychology, 36, 366–380.
Knoester, C., Haynie, D. L., & Stephens, C. M. (2006). Parenting practices and adolescents’ friendship networks. Journal of Marriage and Family, 68, 1247–1260.
Kobak, R., Rosenthal, N. L., Zajac, K., & Madsen, S. D. (2007). Adolescent attachment hierarchies and the search for an adult pair-bond. New Directions for Child & Adolescent Development, 117, 57–72.
Ladd, G. W., & Le Sieur, K. D. (1995). Parents and children’s peer relationships. In M. H. Bornstein (Ed.), Handbook of parenting, volume 4: Applied and practical parenting (pp. 377–409). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
Ladd, G. W., & Pettit, G. S. (2002). Parenting and development of children’s peer relationships. In M. H. Bornstein (Ed.), Handbook of parenting, volume 5: Practical issues in parenting (pp. 269–309). Mawwah, NJ: Erlbaum.
Larson, R. W., Clore, G. L., & Wood, G. A. (1999). The emotions of romantic relationships: Do they wreak havoc on adolescents? In W. Furman, B. B. Brown, & C. Feiring (Eds.), The development of romantic relationships in adolescence (pp. 19–49). New York: Cambridge University Press.
Leslie, L. A., Huston, T. L., & Johnson, M. P. (1986). Parental reactions to dating relationships: Do they make a difference? Journal of Marriage and the Family, 48, 57–66.
Maccoby, E. E. (1992). The role of parents in the socialization of children: An historical overview. Developmental Psychology, 28, 1006–1017.
Miller, B. C., McCoy, J. K., Olson, T. D., & Wallace, C. M. (1986). Parental discipline and control attempts in relation to adolescent sexual attitudes and behavior. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 48, 503–512.
Modell, J. (1989). Into one’s own: From youth to adulthood in the United States 1920–1975. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press.
Mounts, N. S. (2000). Parental management of adolescent peer relationships: What are its effects on friend selection? In J. M. Contreras & A. M. Neal-Barnett (Eds.), Family and peers: Linking two social worlds (pp. 169–193). Westport, CT: Praeger.
Mounts, N. S. (2004). Adolescents’ perceptions of parental management of peer relationships in an ethnically diverse sample. Journal of Adolescent Research, 19, 446–467.
Mounts, N. S. (2008). Linkages between parenting and peer relationships: A model for parental management of adolescents’ peer relationships. In M. Kerr, H. Stattin, & R. C. M. E. Engels (Eds.), What can parents do? New insights into the role of parents in adolescent problem behavior (pp. 163–190). Malden, MA: Wiley.
Overbeek, G., Vollebergh, W., Engels, R. C. M. E., & Meeus, W. (2003). Parental attachment and romantic relationships: Associations with emotional disturbance during late adolescence. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50, 28–39.
Padilla-Walker, L. M., & Carlo, G. (2004). “It’s not fair!” Adolescents’ constructions of appropriateness of parental reactions. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 33, 389–401.
Parke, R. D., Killian, C. M., Dennis, J., Flyr, M. L., McDowell, D. J., Simpkins, S. D., et al. (2003). Managing the external environment: The parent and child as active agents in the system. In L. Kuczynski (Ed.), Handbook of dynamics in parent–child relations (pp. 247–269). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.
Putallaz, M., Costanzo, P. R., & Smith, R. B. (1991). Maternal recollections of childhood peer relationships: Implications for their children’s social competence. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 8, 403–422.
Roisman, G. I., Madsen, S. D., Hennighausen, K. H., Sroufe, L. A., & Collins, W. A. (2001). The coherence of dyadic behavior across parent–child and romantic relationships as mediated by the internalized representation of experience. Attachment & Human Development, 3, 156–172.
Seiffge-Krenke, I. (2003). Testing theories of romantic development from adolescence to young adulthood: Evidence of a developmental sequence. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 27, 519–531.
Seiffge-Krenke, I., Shulman, S., & Klessinger, N. (2001). Adolescent precursors of romantic relationships in young adulthood. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 18, 327–346.
Silverberg, S. B., & Steinberg, L. (1990). Psychological well-being of parents with early adolescent children. Developmental Psychology, 26, 658–666.
Simpkins, S. D., & Parke, R. D. (2002). Maternal monitoring and rules as correlates of children’s social adjustment. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 48, 360–377.
Smetana, J. G., & Asquith, P. (1994). Adolescents’ and parents’ conceptions of parental authority and personal autonomy. Child Development, 65, 1147–1162.
Smetana, J. G., & Gettman, D. C. (2006). Autonomy and relatedness with parents and romantic development in African American adolescents. Developmental Psychology, 42, 1347–1351.
Smith, T. E. (1983). Adolescent reactions to attempted control techniques. Journal of Marriage and Family, 45, 533–542.
Spreadbury, C. L. (1982). First date. Journal of Early Adolescence, 2, 83–89.
Stattin, H., & Kerr, M. (2000). Parental monitoring: A reinterpretation. Child Development, 71, 1072–1085.
Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Parent–adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11, 1–19.
Tilton-Weaver, L. C., & Galambos, N. L. (2003). Adolescents’ characteristics and parents’ beliefs as predictors of parents’ peer management behaviors. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 13, 269–300.
Updegraff, K. A., McHale, S. G., Crouter, A. C., & Kupanoff, K. (2001). Parents’ involvement in adolescents’ peer relationships: A comparison of mothers’ and fathers’ roles. Journal of Marriage and Family, 63, 655–668.
Waizenhofer, R. N., Buchanan, C. M., & Jackson-Newsom, J. (2004). Mothers’ and fathers’ knowledge of adolescents’ daily activities: Its sources and its links with adolescent adjustment. Journal of Family Psychology, 18, 348–360.
Welsh, D. P., Grello, C. M., Harper, M. S., & Florsheim, P. (2003). When love hurts: Depression and adolescent romantic relationships. In P. Florsheim (Ed.), Adolescent romantic relations and sexual behavior: Theory, research, and practical implications (pp. 185–211). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.
Wood, E., Senn, C. Y., Desmarais, S., Park, L., & Verberg, N. (2002). Sources of information about dating and their perceived influence on adolescents. Journal of Adolescent Research, 17, 401–417.
Wyatt, J. M., & Carlo, G. (2002). What will my parents think? Relations among adolescents’ expected parental reactions, prosocial moral reasoning, and prosocial and antisocial behaviors. Journal of Adolescent Research, 17, 646–666.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Corresponding author
Rights and permissions
About this article
Cite this article
Madsen, S.D. Parents’ Management of Adolescents’ Romantic Relationships Through Dating Rules: Gender Variations and Correlates of Relationship Qualities. J Youth Adolescence 37, 1044–1058 (2008). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-008-9313-8
Received:
Accepted:
Published:
Issue Date:
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-008-9313-8