Abstract
This case study illustrates how religious conflict can define a couple’s therapy. The couple therapist’s understanding of religious background can enable deeper discussion. For example, the therapist’s knowledge of observance creates a therapeutic space to explore broader themes of grief, longing, anger, religious commitment, God, and ultimately, commitment to marriage. Religious themes emblematic in Orthodox Judaism are highlighted in this case study. Changes in one’s religious practice can generate a shift in the marital relationship; how to address religious changes and conflicts in therapy is explored using a framework of emotionally focused therapy. Practice implications are offered, which focus on confronting religious conflict when working with similar couples.
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Notes
Shabbat is a day of rest (Genesis 2:1, Torah). a time to pray, spend with family, and to eat festive meals. It begins on Friday at sundown and ends 25 hours later. Prohibited activities include anything connected to work, cooking, carrying, lighting a fire, pushing a stroller, spending money, and use of electronics.
Kosher refers to animals and foods that are fit for consumption as well as foods prohibited to eat (Leviticus 11:3-20, Torah). Food is prepared and supervised in a certain way to meet stringent requirements according to Jewish law.
Law, which prohibit sexual relations between a husband and a wife during vaginal bleeding and a delineated time thereafter. The woman then immerses herself in a Mikvah, a ritual bath, following this, she may resume sexual intimacy. The laws and intricacies are based on Leviticus 15:19, Torah. The law is expounded upon by Laws of Niddah 8:3, Maimonides, and numerous other Rabbinic scholars of Jewish Law.
Baal Teshuva is two-word Hebrew phrase that literally translates as “an honored man who returns.” In Judaism, this term refers to a man who returns to ancient and religious practices. In spite of the reference to “return,” typically it refers to someone who did not grow up observant, but rather someone who decides to become an observant religious Jew.
An enclosure created by actual walls, fences, or strings on wires, which permit observant Jews to carry from their private home to public areas on Shabbat (Hilchot Eruvim, Mishnah). The symbolic enclosure permits Jewish residents to use strollers within these bounds. Some refer to this as a legal fiction or legal technicality and most Orthodox Jews recognize this symbolic demarcation. Some in the Chabad movement do not recognize the legal fiction of symbolic strings and, therefore, will not carry or push strollers on Shabbat even within an eruv.
Translated as milk of Israel. Even though cow’s’ milk is kosher, milk is only Cholov Yisroel if the animal has been milked under the direct supervision of an observant Jew (Avodah Zarah 35b, Talmud., Yoreh Deah 115:1, Shulchan Aruch). Those observant in the Chabad movement keep Cholov Yisroel. Most modern Orthodox Jews in America do not.
Niddah translates as separate. Vaginal bleeding deems a woman ritually impure, and any physical contact between husband and wife during menstruation or after giving birth is forbidden (Leviticus 15:19, Torah).
Jewish divorce document (Deuteronomy, 24:1–4, Torah). According to Jewish law without a Ghet, a woman cannot remarry.
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Religious terms in footnotes are referenced using the source where the word is first mentioned, yet, even the definition of those terms could be debated. For thousands of years, Jewish laws and their interpretations have been argued amongst Jewish laymen, Talmudic scholars, and now, in this composite case, married couples in therapy. This composite case is of six different combinations of individuals in couples' therapy. All the couples shared themes of struggling with religious conflict in therapy.
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Cohen Davidovsky, G. The Orthodox Jewish Couple in Therapy: Addressing Religious Conflict and Confronting the Divine Elephant in the Room. Clin Soc Work J 47, 353–362 (2019). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10615-018-0697-y
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DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10615-018-0697-y