I Said, You Said: A Communication Exercise for Couples

Abstract

The “I Said, You Said” technique leads the couple through a series of communication exercises that emphasizes the power of verbal and non-verbal cues. Initially, non-verbal cues that a couple uses to interpret each other’s spoken words are decreased to reduce the outside influences of attributed meaning. This allows the couple to focus on the clarity of the spoken message. Additional steps in this technique include restructuring speaker and listener roles, education about communication patterns, and learning how to communicate with more clarity and effectiveness, even when topics are emotionally laden. A brief vignette using the intervention follows this discussion.